BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Actor Charlie Sheen has recorded a video urging America’s most wanted man, former cop Christopher Dorner, to contact him so they can ‘figure out together how to end this thing’ (there’s a million-dollar bounty – is Charlie’s coke cache running low?) . . . Actor-director Ben Affleck admits he ‘sneaks’ into cinemas to see how audiences respond to his movie “Argo”, and finds it rewarding that most react to the story exactly the way he intended (are we needy?) . . . Despite tepid reviews, Melissa McCarthy’s caper comedy “Identity Thief” has had the biggest opening of any movie this year, and its $36.6 million-weekend was one of the best openings ever for an original R-rated comedy (starring a plus-sized actress in a month starting with ‘F’) . . . One of the 2Day FM Sydney radio personalities who made that prank call to the hospital treating Catherine, Duchess Of Cambridge last year has returned to radio, Michael Christian now back on-air with sister station FOX FM in Melbourne (hope the guy has thick skin if he’s taking calls) . . . Actor Brendan Fraser is going to court later this month in a bid to reduce his ex-wife’s alimony and child support payments from the current level of – ouch! – $900,000-a-year (after all, they only made one sequel to “The Mummy”) . . . 67-year-old actress Helen Mirren has debuted a new pink hairdo at this year’s “BAFTA” movie awards in London (beats a blue rinse) . . . And Jessica Chastain (“Zero Dark Thirty”) has posted a denial on her Facebook page that she’s at war with fellow Oscar-contender Jennifer Lawrence (“Silver Linings Playbook”), saying we should ‘no longer support the myth that women are competitive and cannot get along’ (BS translation: I’ll scratch her eyes out!).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Ellie Goulding (“Halcyon”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Little Big Town (“Tornado”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Neon Trees (“Picture Show”).
• “State Of the Union 2013” (ABC/CBS/CW/FOX/NBC/PBS) – President Obama’s speech will likely last close to 2 hours. Your favorite show is preempted.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Jewel (“Sweet & Wild”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Carrie Underwood – Turns out that necklace she wore at the Grammy Awards was worth $31 million, according to “Us Weekly”. Made by designer Johnathon Arndt, it featured 381 carats of oval, pearl, marquis, and brilliant white diamonds.
• Chris Brown – TMZ has spoken to the owner of the agency who employs the paparazzi who Brown accuses of ‘ruthlessly pursuing’ him, causing him to crash his Porsche on Saturday. The spokesperson says: “No photographers were following him at the time he crashed. He needs to be careful with his defamatory statements.”
• Drake – He’s ended a legal battle with Ericka Lee, who claims to be his ex-girlfriend, over royalties from his tune “Marvin’s Room”. She alleged he featured her voice on the track in an opening monologue and failed to properly compensate her. Details of the agreement have not been revealed.
• Faith Hill – She’s wearing braces on her teeth again, explaining that a 2nd round of dental gear has become necessary because she failed to wear her retainer as a kid. Her 2 oldest daughters with Tim McGraw, Gracie & Maggie, are now wearing braces as well. (Some kind of family discount?)
• Kayne West – He’s reportedly demanded that pictures of him sporting a funky little leather skirt  at the 2012 Hurricane Sandy benefit concert be removed from photo agency Getty Images’ database. (This begs the question: So why did he wear it?)
• Madonna – She’s just joined photo-sharing social network Instagram, posting an initial cleavage-baring photo of her sipping a martini that looks more like an accident that any attempt at art. It’s charmingly captioned: “Cheers motherf—ers! I’m on Instagram.”
• Rolling Stone – Mick Jagger is totally ticked by the publication of the memoir “A Prince Among Stones” by the band’s former financial adviser Prince Rupert Loewenstein. Quote: “I don’t think your ex-bank manager should be discussing your financial dealings and personal information in public.” Loewenstein is widely credited with making the band multimillionaires during his 40-year association.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “The Man With the Iron Fists” ( R-Rated Action): On the hunt for a fabled treasure, a band of warriors descends on a village in feudal China, where a blacksmith defends his fellow villagers. Wu-Tang Clan’s RZA directed and co-stars opposite Jamie Chung, Russell Crowe, Lucy Liu.
• “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” ( PG-13 Drama ): A funny coming-of-age story based on the best-selling novel by Stephen Chbosky which the dizzying highs and crushing lows of growing up. Stars Logan Lerman, Emma Watson, and Ezra Miller.
• “Robot & Frank” ( PG-13 Dramedy): Set in the near future, a retired cat burglar who can no longer live alone is provided with a walking, talking humanoid robot programmed to improve his physical and mental health. Stars Frank Langella, Susan Sarandon, James Marsden.
• “The Sessions” ( R-Rated Drama ): A man in an iron lung who wishes to lose his virginity contacts a professional sex surrogate with the help of his therapist and priest. Stars John Hawkes, Helen Hunt, William H Macy. A big hit at the Sundance Film Festival.
• “Silent Hill: Revelation 3-D” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): When her father disappears, a teenage girl is drawn into a strange and terrifying alternate reality that holds answers to the horrific nightmares that have plagued her. Stars Sean Bean, Radha Mitchell, Carrie-Anne Moss.
• “Skyfall” ( PG-13 Action Adventure ): Director Sam Mendes’ first ‘James Bond’ flick cost a reported $200 million to make. Daniel Craig returns to play ‘007’ a 3rd time; Javier Bardem plays the villain ‘Silva’; also stars Judi Dench, Naomie Harris, Ralph Fiennes.
• Also released today: “A Liar’s Autobiography: The Untrue Story of Monty Python’s Graham Chapman” (Bio Comedy); “Bully” (Documentary); “Bonanza: The Official 5th Season” (Classic TV); “Family Matters: The Complete 3rd Season” (Vintage TV); “Matlock: The 8th Season” (Vintage TV); “Nova ScienceNow: What Are Animals Thinking?” (Documentary); “Nurse Jackie: Season 4” (TV); “Storage Wars: Volume 4” (Reality TV); and “Weeds: Season 8” (TV).

MARDI GRAS PEE PATROL:
In recent years, Rio de Janeiro has evicted drug dealers and cracked down on unauthorized food vendors along its beaches. For this year’s 2013 Carnival, officials are taking aim at another old problem … public urinating. To that end, thousands of agents have been deployed since Friday to spot and detain offenders. Over 300 ‘mijIoes’ (pee-ers) were charged before this year’s Carnival even began, including 16 women. It’s a dry run, if you will, before Rio hosts the World Cup next year and then the 2016 Olympics. (Kim Kardashian & Kanye West are in town for the Carnival … that will likely piss a lot of people off.)
– Reuters.com

GREEN VALENTINES:
If you want to be environmentally responsible, think about the impact your “Valentine’s Day” gifts have on the environment. That’s the message from advocacy group Waste Awareness, which is promoting alternatives to reduce the waste caused by the millions of Valentine cards purchased each year. Among suggestions for ecologically better alternatives …
• Make your own cards from leftover wrapping paper.
• Purchase flowers planted in a pot instead of a bunch of cut flowers in a bouquet.
• If you must buy chocolates, buy those with the least packaging.
• Give ‘waste-free’ gifts such as theater tickets.
• When cooking a romantic meal, pay attention to portions so you don’t waste food by making too much.
– Excerpted from “Daily Mail”

THE MUSIC MAN:
Max Martin, the man behind Taylor Swift’s “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” and “I Knew You Were Trouble”, has topped a new ranking of ‘Pop’s Top Hitmakers’. The Swedish songwriter, who has worked extensively with Swift, Katy Perry, Britney Spears, and Kelly Clarkson among others, has beaten out Dr Luke, will.i.am, and Timbaland to land on top. He’s sold over 135.4 million singles since his first collaboration with Backstreet Boys in 1995. Others on the hitmakers’ list include Bruno Mars’ The Smeezingtons collective, OneRepublic’s Ryan Tedder, Ne-Yo, Pharrell Williams, Sia, and producer Diplo. (Hey, what about PSY?)
– “Hollywood Reporter”

SMART PEN:
A pen has been designed that vibrates to tell users when they make a spelling mistake. The prototype is programmed to recognize movements associated with each letter form. If it detects a deviation in either spelling or grammar it gives a gentle buzz to bring the writer back on track. It is being developed by the German company Lernstift in a bid to help children write more quickly and accurately. (The average kid these days will be asking, “Um, that’s really cool … what’s a pen?”)
– “Daily Telegraph”

BAD VALENTINE PRESENTS:
• Lingerie that you think will look almost as good on her as on a Victoria’s Secret model.
• Any clothing item with the words ‘push-up’ or ‘slim-down’ on the label.
• Any household appliance, power tool, or other item from the harder side of Walmart.
• Anything you could have bought at a gas station mini-mart on the way over … even if you didn’t.
• A box of chocolates, clumsily rearranged in an attempt to hide the fact that you ate the caramel ones.
– Adapted from “Men’s Fitness”

UGS UNDER BOOTS:
America is supposed to wind down its war in Afghanistan by 2014, but US forces may continue to track Afghans for years after the conflict is officially over. Palm-sized ‘Unattended Ground Sensors’ (or ‘UGS’) developed for the US military will remain spread across the Afghan countryside, detecting anyone who moves nearby and reporting their locations back to a remote headquarters. Some of these surveillance tools could be buried in the ground; others might be disguised as rocks, with wafer-sized, solar-rechargeable batteries that are touted to be capable of up to 20 years of operation. (Is that any way to wind up an occupation … littering?)
– “Wired”

DID YOU KNOW?
• Wines with animals on the label are known as ‘critter wines’ in the biz.
– “The Guardian”
• Pope Benedict XVI’s resignation (as of February 28th) makes him the first head of the Catholic Church to step down in almost 600 years.
– Contactmusic.com

BS CHRONOMETER 02.12.13

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1952 [61] Michael McDonald, St Louis MO, pop singer (“Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”, ex-Doobie Brothers-“What a Fool Believes”)

1968 [45] Josh Brolin, LA CA, movie actor (“Gangster Squad”, “No Country For Old Men”)/married to actress Diane Lane since 2004/son of actor James Brolin  UP NEXT: “Sin City: A Dame to Kill For”, opening October 4th.

1970 [43] Jim Creeggan, Toronto ON, pop-rock bassist (Barenaked Ladies-“Another Postcard”, “One Week”)

1980 [33] Christina Ricci, Santa Monica CA, 5-ft movie actress (“Monster”)/TV actress (“Pan Am” 2011-12)

1988 [25] Mike Posner, Detroit MI, pop singer (“Cooler Than Me”)/songwriter-producer (Justin Bieber-“Boyfriend”, Labrinth-“Beneath Your Beautiful”)

1990 [23] Robert Griffin III (‘RG3’), Okinawa, Japan [raised Copperas Cove TX], NFL quarterback (Washington Redskins)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Creative Romance Month”, when couples are encouraged to put the sizzle back into their relationships by adding some ‘intrigue’. Get out the wetsuits and ‘Zorro’ masks!

• “Extraterrestrial Visitor Day”, a day to celebrate and honor all past, present, and future ET visitors in ways to enhance relationships among all citizens of the cosmos … known and unknown.

• “Lincoln’s Birthday”, celebrating the 1809 birth of the 16th president of the United States (1861-65) and central figure of the current award-winning movie “Lincoln”. The “President’s Day” holiday, celebrated on the 3rd Monday of February, honors the birthdays of both presidents Lincoln and Washington.

• “Lost Penny Day”, set aside to collect all of those wasted pennies stashed in jars and drawers around the house and put them back into circulation. Because a penny saved is … a waste of time.

• “Mardi Gras” (aka “Carnival”, “Fat Tuesday’”, “Pancake Day”), always celebrated 46 days before Easter as the last big blow-out before Lent begins.

• “Red Hand Day”, an annual observance encouraging political leaders to work on behalf of children who are forced to serve as soldiers in wars and armed conflicts. Events are being staged worldwide to draw attention to the fate of child soldiers.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2008 [05] Hollywood writers’ strike ends after 100 days

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2001 [12] US Court of Appeals orders Napster to stop offering copyrighted music online for free

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2010 [03] XXI Winter Olympics opening ceremony in Vancouver BC

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2008 [05] General Motors reports a record loss of some $40 billion for the previous year, offers buyouts to 74,000 workers

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Get a Different Name Day
[Thurs] Valentines Day
[Thurs] “A Good Day to Die Hard”; “Beautiful Creatures”; “Safe Haven” open in movie theaters
[Thurs] Pet Theft Awareness Day
[Fri] “Escape From Planet Earth” opens in movie theaters
This Week Is … International Flirting Week
This Month Is … Celebration of Chocolate Month

BULL’S BITS

BS WAYS YOU CAN TELL IT’S “PANCAKE DAY”:
• You shake hands and your palms stick.
• Price of syrup doubled yesterday.
• Aunt Jemima just made the “Forbes” magazine rich list.
• A whole lot of wacky-lookin’ Frisbees in the schoolyard.
• Only day of the year anyone actually uses the word ‘shrove’.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I see Lindsay Lohan has picked out her epitaph: “She sleeps alone at last.”

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• What was once believed would happen if a single woman saw a robin on “Valentines Day”?
a. She would marry a sailor. [CORRECT]
b. She would become pregnant within the year.
c. She would soon be wiping robin doo off her shoulder.

• If your voice had the same power in proportion to your weight as that of a canary, how far away could your kids hear you screaming?
a. 8 miles
b. 80 miles
c. 800 miles [CORRECT]
– Halife.com

BS PHONER STARTER:
☎ Describe your perfect man/woman.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Studies show that Italian men tend to do THIS the longest.
Answer: Live with their mamas.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
We’re on BS beach week hiatus February 18th-22nd inclusive. Subscribers will receive account credits in lieu of service.