Wednesday, February 12, 2014        Edition: #5158

Thanks For Being On Our Sheet List!

★ This week the annual ‘Hollywood’ issue of “Vanity Fair” in on newsstands. It includes pics of 20 of the biggest names in show biz … without makeup, airbrushing, sophisticated cameras, or special lighting. Painter/photographer Chuck Close captured the up-close and personal shots using a Polaroid camera. Since the photos were not retouched, he admits some can be a bit ‘rough’. In other words, pics of actors as their authentic selves. Among the brave souls participating: Brad Pitt, Bruce Willis, George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Kate Winslet, Scarlett Johansson.
★ 82-year-old actress Rita Moreno, who was fêted with a ‘Life Achievement’ award at the Screen Actors Guild Awards last month, is set to co-star in a new comedy titled “Old Soul”,  co-created and executive produced by Amy Poehler (“Parks & Recreation”). The sitcom centers on a former wild-child played by Natasha Lyonne (“Orange Is the New Black”), whose new business enterprise involves caring for seniors. Moreno is slated to play one of the main clients.
★ NBC-TV has confirmed that Fred Armisen will be the permanent bandleader on his former “Saturday Night Live” co-star’s upcoming gig “Late Night With Seth Meyers”. Armisen will ‘curate’ and lead the band, even while shooting his IFC sketch comedy series “Portlandia”. It’ll be quite the “SNL” reunion when “Late Night with Seth Meyers” launches February 24th, as fellow alumna Amy Poehler is scheduled to be Meyers’ first guest.
★ And FOX-TV has canceled the US version of “The X Factor”. It’s creator, Simon Cowell, will be returning to the UK version of the singing competition. In a statement he says: “I’ve had a fantastic time over the last 12 years, both on ‘The X Factor’ and ‘American Idol’. And apart from being lucky enough to find some amazing talent on the shows, I have always had an incredible welcome from the American public … most of the time.”

• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – Group and solo performances in Los Angeles.
• “Arsenio Hall” (syndicated) – TI (“Paperwork”).
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Jhene Aiko (“Sail Out”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Naughty Boy f/Sam Smith (“Hotel Cabana”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Ellie Goulding (“Halcyon Days”). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Carly Rae Jepsen (“Rodgers & Hammerstein’s Cinderella”).
• “Marilyn Denis Show” (CTV/CTV2) – Dierks Bentley (“Riser”, out February 25th).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Mariah Carey (“The Essential Mariah Carey”).
• “Winter Olympics” (CBC/NBC) – Women’s Hockey: Canada vs US; Figure Skating: Pairs Free Program.

• Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band – They’ll follow-up their tour of Australia, New Zealand, and South Africa with a new slate of North American dates in April and May. That trek is set to begin April 8th in Cincinnati OH.
• Dierks Bentley – He’s completed a documentary called “Dierks Bentley: Riser”, chronicling his life over the 2 years of making his up album. The documentary will air February 22nd on the Palladia network, 3 days before the “Riser” album is released.
• Dr Dre – He’s launched a $3-million lawsuit against executives at his former label, Death Row Records, over unpaid royalties. He also alleges there are inconsistencies pertaining to payments he did receive.
• Pharrell Williams – He’s teamed up with eco-thread firm Bionic Yarn to create an environmentally-friendly clothing collection for G-Star Raw, titled ‘Raw For the Oceans’, which will launch in August. The idea is to help clean up the world’s oceans by turning plastic waste collected from the water into denim jeans and other garments.
• Queen – The 1981 compilation album, “Queen’s Greatest Hits”, has just become the 1st album to sell over 6 million units in the UK. That means 1-in-3 British families now owns a copy. The album compiles 17 songs from the first 11 years of the band’s career.
• Taylor Swift – She’s covering the March issue of “Glamor” magazine. Inside she talks about how she has no regrets about her past and how she’s constantly trying to re-invent herself.
• Willie Nelson / Alison Krauss & Union Station f/Jerry Douglas – The 2 acts will tour together for the first time ever this Spring and Summer. The 35-city tour kicks off May 1st in Murray KY. Opening acts include up-and-comer Kacey Musgraves.

“RoboCop” (  PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller ): In 2028 Detroit, when a husband, father, and good cop (Joel Kinnaman) is critically injured in the line of duty, multinational conglomerate ‘OmniCorp’ sees their chance to develop a part-man, part-robot police officer. Co-stars Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Abbie Cornish. Remake of the 1987 film starring Peter Weller.

Vancouver has become the first city in Canada with vending machines … for crack pipes. An initiative by drug addiction outreach groups, the brightly colored machines have been selling Pyrex glass pipes for 25 cents over the past 6 months, a move advocates say will curb the spread of disease. Using chipped or broken pipes and sharing them with people who have mouth sores can spread HIV and hepatitis C, among other conditions. Public health advocates say the vending machine initiative will save both lives and taxpayer money in the long run. (When will they start handing out 100-dollar bills to snort coke?)
– CTV News

New terms leaking into our lingo …
• ‘Clickbait’ – An online link that has been designed, often with misleading or sensational text, to entice a person to click. (NAKED CHICKS HERE!)
• ‘Glowface’ – A face lit up by a device screen or a computer monitor. These days, it’s a Glowface world.
• ‘Nomophobia’ – Two-thirds of us apparently now suffer from this … a fear of having no mobile phone.
• ‘Phone Stack’ – Cellphones placed in a stack and left unused while the owners are in a social situation, such as dinner with friends at a restaurant.

If you’re anxious about stepping on the scale, you may want to wait until the end of the week. New Cornell University research has found that people’s weight fluctuates during the week. This means the number on the scale is usually highest on Sunday or Monday and lowest on Friday. This is actually good news for people who want to lose weight without giving up a weekend indulgence or two. The study suggests that they won’t wreck their diet as long as they go back to watching what they eat Monday-through-Friday. (I lost 20 pounds last Friday. Unfortunately, it was at a London casino.)

A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 86% of students admit they have texted while in class.
• 52% of us say ‘eating’ is our favorite activity.
• 38% of us would pay more for an airline ticket if the plane had an open bar.
• 32% of men and 19% of women sleep in the nude.
• 29% of us wake up naturally in the morning, without the aid of an alarm.
• 15% of single men have cancelled a 1st date after checking out their date’s Facebook page.

• “Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.” False. Studies show simply getting up and going to bed early doesn’t make any difference. What really matters is what you do with the time after you wake.
• “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” True. If every adult over 50 ate one, far fewer would die from heart disease. Researchers say an apple’s heart benefits come from its fiber content and high amounts of an antioxidant called flavonoid.
• “A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures.” Sorta true. Laughter has been shown to cause blood vessels to dilate, which improves blood flow and heart health. But a long sleep? If it’s 8 hours, then definitely. But 10 hours or more has actually been proven unhealthy.
• “Fresh air impoverishes the doctor.” True. Spending time outdoors and in nature has been linked to health benefits ranging from lower stress to improved brain function. Even just staring at the color green has been shown to be restorative and health improving.
• “Beans, beans, they’re good for your heart; the more you eat the more you …” True. Due to high quantities of folate and fiber, people who eat 4 or more servings of beans a week enjoy a 22% drop in heart disease risk. As for the 2nd part of the rhyme, you probably don’t need proof.
– Condensed from

✓ “Annie Hall” (1977) – Woody Allen & Diane Keaton.
✓ “Casablanca” (1942) – Humphrey Bogart & Ingrid Bergman.
✓ “Moonstruck” (1987) – Cher & Nicolas Cage.
✓ “The Notebook” (2004) – Ryan Gosling & Rachel McAdams.
✓ “Sabrina” (1954) – Bogie & Audrey Hepburn.
✓ “Say Anything” (1989) – John Cusack & Ione Skye.
✓ “You’ve Got Mail” (1998) – Meg Ryan & Tom Hanks.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing. (Take Britain’s Prince Charles for instance …)


1956 [58] Arsenio Hall, Cleveland OH, late night TV talk-show host (“The Arsenio Hall Show” since 2013, 1989–94)

1968 [46] Josh Brolin, LA CA, movie actor (“Gangster Squad”, “No Country For Old Men”)/wed to actress Diane Lane 2004-13  UP NEXT: “Sin City: A Dame to Kill For”, opening August 22nd.

1970 [44] Jim Creeggan, Toronto ON, pop-rock bassist (Barenaked Ladies-“Another Postcard”, “One Week”)

1980 [34] Christina Ricci, Santa Monica CA, 5-ft movie actress (“The Smurfs 2”, “Monster”)/TV actress (“Lizzie Borden Took An Ax”, “Pan Am” 2011-12)

1990 [24] Robert Griffin III (‘RG3’), Okinawa, Japan [raised Copperas Cove TX], NFL quarterback (Washington Redskins)

• “Lincoln’s Birthday”, celebrating the 1809 birth of the 16th president of the USA (1861-65) and central figure of award-winning movie “Lincoln”. The “President’s Day” holiday, celebrated on the 3rd Monday of February, honors the birthdays of both presidents Lincoln and Washington.

• “Lost Penny Day”, set aside to collect all of those wasted pennies stashed in jars and drawers around the house and donate them to charity. Because a penny saved is … a waste of time.

• “Red Hand Day”, an annual UN observance encouraging political leaders to work on behalf of children who are forced to serve as soldiers in wars and armed conflicts.

2008 [06] Hollywood writers’ strike ends after 100 days

2001 [13] US Court of Appeals orders Napster to stop offering copyrighted music online for free

2004 [10] The city of San Francisco CA begins issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples

2010 [04] XXI Winter Olympics opening ceremony in Vancouver BC

2008 [06] General Motors reports a record loss of $40 billion for the previous year, offers buyouts to 74,000 workers

[Thurs] Get a Different Name Day
[Thurs] World Radio Day
[Fri] “About Last Night”; “Endless Love”; “Vampire Academy”; “Winter’s Tale” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Valentines Day
[Fri] Pet Theft Awareness Day
[Fri] Call In Single Day
This Week Is … Children of Alcoholics Week
This Month Is … Celebration of Chocolate Month


• “Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss … but I only slept with you ’cause I was pissed.”
• “I thought it impossible that I could love another, until that is I met your hot brother.”
• “Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty and so is your head.”
• “We were in love and I was your missus, until I found out you prefer manly kisses.”
• “Kind, intelligent, loving, and hot … this describes all the things you are not.”
• “I want to feel your sweet embrace … but please don’t take the paper bag off your face.”
• “I love your smile, your face, and your eyes … damn, I’m so good at telling big lies!”
• “I see your face whenever I’m dreaming, ’tis the reason I’m forever waking up screaming.”
• “Roses are red, emeralds are greener, I got remarried … neener, neener, neener!”

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Who the heck was ‘Cupid’ anyway?
a. The Greek god of lust.
b. The Roman god of carnal love. [CORRECT]
c. The Medieval angel of mercy.
d. A fictional little guy with a heart on.

☎ Is the concept of athletes competing by country in the Olympics outmoded, or at least a fallacy? A few examples that might prove that idea …
• Alpine skier Vanessa Mae from England is competing as Vanessa Vanakorn (her father’s surname) for that skiing powerhouse … Thailand.
• Figure skater Paul Bonifacio Parkinson, representing Italy, is Canadian born & raised and  trains in Barrie, Ontario as well as in the US at Colorado Springs, Colorado.
• US snowboarder Seamus O’Connor is ‘paying tribute’ to his Irish grandparents by competing for Team Ireland. Or maybe he just didn’t make the American team?
• Canadian ice dancing champs Tessa Virtue & Scott Moir and US duo Meryl Davis & Charlie White train in Canton, Michigan … together.
• Half-pipe skier Peter Adam Crook persuaded the British Virgin Islands to sanction the creation of a ski federation just so he could pursue his dream of competing in the Olympics.
• Cross-country skiers Angelica & Gary di Silvestri are American but compete for the Caribbean island of Dominica, which granted them citizenship after they visited to do philanthropic work.

In Swedish Lapland, there’s a group of musicians who play instruments made of … ice. Their so-called ‘ Icestruments’ include violin, banjo, guitar, drums, and xylophone. Cool! Literally.

Question: If you’re average, you do THIS over 100 times a day.
Answer: Check the time.

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

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