Thursday, February 12, 2015        Edition: #5396

Thanks For Being On Our Sheet List!

★ Jon Stewart’s announcement that he’ll leave “The Daily Show” later this year after more than 15 years shocked his fans and leaves a gigantic void at Comedy Central. Stewart isn’t just the face of the cable network, he put it on the pop culture map. Comedy Central says “The Daily Show” franchise will ‘endure for years to come’, but that will no doubt depend on whether the network can successfully transition someone new into Stewart’s chair. His impending exit is the latest in a series of shoes to drop at the network. Stephen Colbert left in December. He’ll take over for CBS-TV’s retiring David Letterman later this year.
★ As you’ve likely heard, Brian Williams has been suspended from his post as Managing Editor and anchor of “NBC Nightly News” for 6 months without pay after being questioned over a false account of a 2003 helicopter incident in Iraq. Lester Holt, who has been filling in for Williams since Monday, will continue as interim anchor in the meantime. So Williams exaggerated … what’s the big deal? Insiders say his penchant for describing himself as closer to combat danger than he actually was violates an unspoken military code. And it was the flight engineer of that Chinook helicopter in Iraq who first publicly blew the whistle on him.
★ It’s come to light that police were called about a domestic dispute at Bobbi Kristina Brown’s home a week before she was found unresponsive in her bathtub on January 31st. The 21-year-old aspiring actress, who is in a medically-induced coma in a Atlanta GA hospital, and her boyfriend Nick Gordon were apparently the subject of a call placed to emergency services on January 23rd. The 9-1-1 recording describes people “hitting each other and swinging outside in front of the townhomes in Ellard Village”, the complex where Brown and Gordon live. Police have already announced their investigation is now being treated as a ‘criminal matter’.
– E! News
★ And “The Hangover” movie star Ken Jeong (‘Mr Chow’) has scored a big TV deal to turn his semi-biographical proposal into a new show. ABC-TV executives have picked up the pilot to the proposed program “Dr Ken”, which Jeong developed alongside a screenwriter. It’s based on his own experiences as a medic before he became a film and TV star (‘Señor Chang’ on “Community”). Jeong, who remains a licensed physician, will star and co-executive produce the new project.

• “American Idol” (FOX) – The judges reveal who moves on to the top 48.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Flaming Lips w/Miley Cyrus (“With a Little Help from My Fwends”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Incubus (“Light Grenades”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Gap Dream (“Shine Your Light”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Sturgill Simpson (“Metamodern Sounds in Country Music”).
• NBA All-Star Weekend (NYC) – A few of the related events during the 4-day festival …
– Tonight Kanye West headlines a free outdoor concert in Flatiron Pedestrian Plaza. Rihanna had been rumored as a ‘mystery performer’ but that now seems unlikely.
– Tonight Sean Combs (now ‘Puff Daddy’ again) & Snoop Dogg co-headline the “Tip-Off” concert at Madison Square Garden.
– The annual “NBA All-Star Celebrity Game” is Friday night (ESPN).
– The “NBA All-Star Game” finally gets played Sunday night (TNT).
• “Queen Latifah” (syndicated) – Sheila E (“Icon”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – The Weeknd (“Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack”).
• “The Slap” (NBC) Debut of a new drama that follows a chain of events after a man slaps another couple’s misbehaving child at a party. The child’s parents vow legal action. What nobody can predict is where this incident will lead. Stars Peter Sarsgaard, Melissa George, Uma Thurman, and Zachary Quinto among others.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Flo Rida (“The Perfect 10”).

• Brett Eldredge – This week he treated a group of fans to an impromptu karaoke bar hop in Nashville TN. After tweeting an open invitation, he pulled up to the meeting spot in a party bus and welcomed dozens of fans onboard for a tour of some of Music City’s hottest bars.
• Carrie Underwood – She says she admires actress Reese Witherspoon’s ‘normal and natural’ look in the movie “Wild” but confesses she rarely goes natural herself. Quote: ”I don’t think I ever have makeup-free days, to be honest.”
• Charli XCX / Rita Ora – It seems their dogs are dating. ‘Sprout’ and ‘Cher the Bear’ were recently introduced and hit it off immediately. Charli tells BBC1: ”They met and it got quite frisky quite quickly so we might see a little pop star puppy happening.”
• Dead Daisies – A mash-up group featuring Richard Fortus & Dizzy Reed of Guns N’ Roses and Thin Lizzy/Whitesnake bassist Marco Mendoza is set to make history as the 1st American rock act to perform in Cuba since travel and trade relations have been relaxed. They’ll be guests of the Cuban Ministry Of Culture in Havana starting February 20th.
• Jason Aldean – Tonight the next leg of his “Burn It Down Tour” gets underway in Greenville SC. The 23-city trek features appearances by special guests Cole Swindell and Tyler Farr.
• Kacey Musgraves – Tonight she kicks off 9 new shows in her extended “Same Tour, Different Trailer” trek. This tour leg starts in Norfolk VA and ends February 28th in Richmond VA.
• Pink! – She’s posed naked in a billboard ad for PETA. The 90-ft-wide (27-m) poster with the caption “I’d rather go naked than wear fur” has been unveiled in Times Square this week to coincide with the beginning of NYC’s Fashion Week.
• Taylor Swift – Her reps are threatening to sue … her old guitar teacher. Computer repairman and part-time musician Ronnie Cremer gave Swift music lessons when she was younger, and has since registered the website Her management has informed him ne needs to drop the URL, but Cremer says no way. Quote: ”I’m not giving back the domain name. I mean, Go Daddy sold it to me.”
• Young the Giant – Their first headlining tour of 2015 begins tonight in Burlington VT and is scheduled to run through March 10th in Boulder CO. The month-long run supports their latest album, “Mind Over Matter”.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Deadpool” – Taylor Schilling (“Orange Is the New Black”) and Morena Baccarin (“Homeland”) are said to be frontrunners for the female lead opposite Ryan Reynolds in this “X-Men” spin-off that’s soon set to shoot. “Green Lantern” star Reynolds is reprising his role following his appearance in 2009’s “X-Men Origins: Wolverine”. Filming is scheduled to begin in March.
• “Orphan X” – 40-year-old actor Bradley Cooper (“American Sniper”) is in talks to produce and star in the bigscreen adaptation of an upcoming book by Gregg Hurwitz, which tells the story of a man who strives to helps others, sometimes through violent methods. The story’s central character is ultimately drawn into a battle against gangsters dealing in human slavery.
• “Paddington 2” – A “Paddington” sequel is in the works. The film’s director Paul King has suggested it will be based on one of author Michael Bond’s other novels as there are lots of books in the series as source material. The original 2014 film starred Nicole Kidman, Hugh Bonneville, Peter Capaldi, and Ben Whishaw and has grossed $210 million worldwide.
• “The Terrible Two” – A movie based on the recently released children’s book by Mac Barnett & Jory John is on the way. The authors will also adapt the screenplay, which centers on middle-school kid ‘Miles Murphy’, who is an infamous prankster. The book hit shelves January 13th and already has over 200,000 copies in print. It’s the 1st of a planned 4-book series.

New terms leaking into our lingo …
• ‘Pit Bush’ – The deliberate cultivation of hair in the female armpit. (Is this really becoming ‘A Thing’?)
• ‘Power Paunch’ – A large stomach on a man worn proudly as a badge of his ‘status’. (Best idea since the pit bush.)
• ‘Swoll’ – Slang for having large muscles as a result of working out. A derivation of ‘swollen’. (“Get swoll, brah!”)
• ‘Silver Architecture’ – Building design that focuses on the needs and limitations of seniors. (Perhaps a ‘walker locker’?)

The company that makes those ubiquitous chalky heart-shaped confections emblazoned with slogans has shelved last year’s timely candy message, ‘Occupy My Heart’, in favor of several new lines, including ‘Te Amo’, ‘Je T’aime’, and the net-savvy ‘BFF’. Confectionery company NECCO has also retired ‘Tweet’, ‘You and I’, ‘U R Hot’, ‘Love Me’, and ‘Shine Bright’. This year the company is also offering up new phases that won an elementary school contest: ‘Pugs & Kittens’, ‘Girl Power’, and ‘Luv 2 Dance’, plus a mustache emoticon. A company rep says the idea is to “evaluate what’s modern, what’s hot, and relate to how people are actually communicating”. (So what slogan would you like to see?)
– @NYDailynews

■ If you want to get romantic for Valentines Day, go on a sea cruise. In a “Cosmopolitan” magazine survey of 2,000 vacationers, couples said they had sex an average of 6 times a week while cruising, compared to their usual once or twice a week at home.
■ Have you told your current partner how many people you’ve slept with? Half of the respondents in a “Glamour” magazine poll say they’ve blabbed their complete sexual history to their current partner. However, 25% admit they lied about the number.

What’s the nicest aroma you can ponder? How about …
✓ Sweet baby smell.
✓ Soil after rain.
✓ Cotton candy at a carnival.
✓ Your significant other’s pillow.
✓ Birthday candles that are about to be blown out.
✓ Warm laundry right out of the dryer.
✓ Your hair after a bonfire with friends.
✓ Freshly mowed grass.
✓ Warm cinnamon rolls on a Sunday morning.
✓ Puppy paws.
(And your favorite scent is …?)

• Cuddling can alleviate headaches, thanks to the release of oxytocin … the ‘love hormone’.
• Research shows that the stress hormone cortisol lowers in couples when they kiss.
• Couples can sync up their heart rates simply by … staring into each other’s eyes.
• Just looking at a lover’s photograph can be enough to relieve physical pain.
– Sourced from


1956 [59] Arsenio Hall, Cleveland OH, retired TV talk-show host (“Arsenio Hall Show” 2013-14, 1989–94)

1968 [47] Josh Brolin, LA CA, movie actor (“Gangster Squad”, “No Country For Old Men”)

1970 [45] Jim Creeggan, Toronto ON, pop-rock bassist (Barenaked Ladies-“Another Postcard”, “One Week”)

1980 [35] Christina Ricci, Santa Monica CA, 5-ft movie actress (“The Smurfs 2”, “Monster”)

1990 [25] Robert Griffin III (‘RG3’), Okinawa, Japan [raised Copperas Cove TX], NFL QB (Washington Redskins)

• “Darwin Day”, commemorating the birth anniversary of Charles Darwin (February 12, 1809). The day is to highlight Darwin’s contribution to science and to promote science in general.

• “Lincoln’s Birthday”, celebrating the 1809 birth of the 16th president of the USA (1861-65). The “President’s Day” holiday, celebrated annually on the 3rd Monday of February, honors the birthdays of both presidents Lincoln and Washington.

• “Lost Penny Day”, set aside to collect all of those wasted pennies stashed in jars and drawers around the house and donate them to charity. Because a penny saved is … a waste of time.

• “Red Hand Day”, an annual UN observance encouraging political leaders to work on behalf of children who are forced to serve as soldiers in wars and armed conflicts.

2009 [06] Hollywood writers strike ends after 100 days (of really bad TV)

2005 [10] Led Zeppelin is awarded a ‘Lifetime Achievement Grammy’ (while one of the biggest rock groups of their time, they never actually won a Grammy Award during their 12-year history)

2007 [08] 20 years after splitting up, The Police announce plans to launch a North American tour (over the next year it grosses $362 million)

2005 [10] The city of San Francisco CA begins issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples

2011 [04] XXI Winter Olympics opening ceremony in Vancouver BC

2009 [06] General Motors reports a record loss of $40 billion for the previous year, offers buyouts to 74,000 workers

[Fri] “Fifty Shades of Grey”; “Kingsman: The Secret Service” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Friday the 13th
[Fri] World Radio Day
[Sat] Valentines Day
[Sat] Pet Theft Awareness Day
[Sat] Quirky Alone Day
This Week Is … Children of Alcoholics Week
This Month Is … Celebration of Chocolate Month


● “With just a couple exceptions, you’re more beautiful than the day we met.”
● “You make me so excited, I just can’t hold my bladder.”
● “‘Like’ is a such highly underrated word.”
● “I want you like a dog wants a muscular leg.”
● “I love the way you look, the way you clean, the way you cook.”
● “I need you like someone with the squirts needs Pepto Bismol.”
● “How do I love thee, let me count the way …”

My penmanship is nothing to write home about.

Which pagan fertility festival did Valentines Day replace?
a. Lupercalia [CORRECT. The ancient Roman fertility festival when goats and dogs were sacrificed.]
b. Saturnalia
c. Paraphernalia.

☎ What’s the absolute WORST Valentine gift you could ever receive? (An online poll suggests: roses … with a card for another woman; a Nordic Trac; a book on making love.)

Question: Over the past 4 years online searches for THIS have quadrupled.
Answer: Butt implants.

There are no new sins … the old ones are just getting more publicity.

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