Wednesday, February 15, 2012        Edition: #4691


Ah, the Sweet Smell of BS!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TV ratings firm AC Nielsen is reviewing a possible violation by Oprah Winfrey for asking her Twitter followers to watch her new show “Oprah’s Next Chapter” (OWN), ‘especially if you have a Nielsen box’ (oops, that’s a no-no!) . . . Pop singer-actress Selena Gomez has announced she’s parting ways with her backing band The Scene so she can ‘concentrate on her acting career’ (BS translation: Nobody bought any albums) . . . TMZ reports famous person Lindsay Lohan has been hit with another overdue income tax bill, $140,000 owing for 2010, on top of the $93,000 for 2009 the IRS has previously demanded (time to take your clothes off again!) . . . It’s been confirmed Michael Bay will indeed direct a 4th “Transformers” movie, which will be released in the Summer of 2014 (here’s why – $2.6 billion in total box office) . . .  “The Adventures of Tintin” director Steven Spielberg says he and producer Peter Jackson will swap roles for the sequel, with Jackson directing, because they made that deal during the planning stages (first Jackson has to finish the 2-part movie “The Hobbit”) . . . Lifestyle maven Martha Stewart’s dog has won ‘Best in Breed’ at the Westminster Kennel Club Show (well of course it did) . . . Singer-actress Hilary Duff’s hockey-playing hubby Mike Comrie is retiring from the NHL at the ripe old age of 31, thanks to 3 hip surgeries in 5 years (how many hips does this guy have?) . . . And RadarOnline is reporting that Beverly Hilton Hotel management asked the LA County Coroner’s office NOT to remove Whitney Houston’s body from the room she died in until after Clive Davis’ pre-Grammy party concluded 4 floors below (spray some room freshener, the show must go on!).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – Contestants vie for a spot in the next round.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Dierks Bentley (“Home”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Miley Cyrus (“Can’t Be Tamed”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Deadmau5 (“4×4=12”), Walk the Moon (“I want! I want!”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – The Drums (“Portamento”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Yelawolf w/Kid Rock (“Radioactive”).
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Nicki Minaj (‘Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded”, out April 3rd).
• “Survivor: One World” (CBS/Global) – In the Season 24 debut, it’s a battle of the sexes as tribes are separated into men vs women, but they all must share the same beach.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Punch Bros (“Who’s Feeling Young Now?”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Adele – She tells “Vogue” she plans to take a 4- or 5-year break to focus on her relationship with Simon Konecki because when she prioritized her career in the past it led to heartbreak in her personal life. (The hottest act in music is going to disappear?)
• Dierks Bentley – Tonight the 8-date Canadian leg of his “Country & Cold Cans” tour gets underway in Vancouver BC. In March, he’s off to Australia.
• Foo Fighters – Dave Grohl has released a teaser trailer for his upcoming documentary “Sound City”, about the studio where numerous albums were recorded over the years, including Nirvana’s “Nevermind”. No release date for the doc has been announced.
• Madonna – She recently suggested Lady Gaga has copied her music, but now she’s being accused of copying a track by Brazilian musician Joao Brasil. He claims the chorus of “Give Me All Your Luvin’” is a rip-off of his tune “L-O-V-E Banana”. You decide …
NET: http://vimeo.com/23917519
• NeedToBreathe – After spending 6 months on the road as Taylor Swift’s main support act, they kick off their 10-week headlining “Reckoning Tour” tonight in Houston TX.
• Rolling Stones – Keith Richards’ 25-year-old daughter Alexandra reveals in “Hola” magazine that her overprotective dad tests his girls’ boyfriends by intimidating them with … bizarre knife tricks.
• Whitney Houston – Unconfirmed reports suggest her funeral will take place at the Prudential Center in Newark NJ this Friday. (Why do we ‘beatify’ stars who die tragically? Truth is, she had a decade-long career in the ‘80s-‘90s, followed by a longer period of drug-addled obscurity.)

BS BUZZWORDS:
New cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Cyberflaneur’ – A person who surfs the web with no purpose beyond curiosity and inquisitiveness. In French, a flaneur is a ‘stroller’. (“I blew like 6 hours last night and accomplished zero, thanks to my cyberflanerie.”)
• ‘Pollotarian’ – A person who supplements a vegetarian diet with chicken and/or other poultry. (“Alexandra’s been passing out a lot less from lack of protein since she took up pollotarianism.”)
• ‘Stripper Rich’– Having a large wad of money that consists of singles or other low denomination bills. (“Servers working the early bird special at the all-you-can-eat buffet only manage to get stripper rich.”)

HAPPY LITTLE WORKER BEES:

‘Work engagement’ is a fairly new term in occupational psychology circles: It’s basically defined as a healthy, positive passion for work … the opposite of the stereotypical uninterested slacker who slides by doing as little as possible throughout the day. And engaged workers may dodge some or all of the nasty repercussions suffered by other workaholics for one simple reason: They love what they do. They get a kick out of it. They don’t feel stressed by it. A team of psychologists at Utrecht University in the Netherlands coined the term ‘engaged workaholics’ for people who like to work because it’s fun. (And they don’t have a love life.)
– “Los Angeles Times”

MAGIC MUSHROOMS:

Whatever your favorite type, all mushrooms are loaded with essential nutrients. Witness …
• Mushrooms are the only fruit or vegetable source of vitamin D.
• White button mushrooms seem to promote immune function by increasing the production of antiviral proteins.
• Crimini and portobello mushrooms rank about the same as red peppers when it comes to antioxidants, substances that help fight free radicals in the body.
• Mushrooms contain loads of vitamin B2 (riboflavin) and vitamin B3 (niacin), which are vital for turning food (carbohydrates) into fuel (glucose).
• Several types of mushrooms are rich in the trace mineral ‘selenium’, proven to lower the risk of bladder cancer.
– Condensed from “Best Health Magazine”

MEN STRESSED BY WORK, WOMEN BY LIFE:

A new Polaris Marketing Research poll has found that men are more likely to say work issues are causing them angst, while women are significantly more likely to cite … just about everything else – financial issues, lack of time, family problems, and relationship issues. The genders cope with stress differently as well. Men opt for videogames, working out, and drinking; while women sleep, socialize, and eat comfort foods (while worrying about that unsightly skin tag that won’t go away and …).
– LiveScience.com

INNOVATIVE OR STUPID?
Kenji Kawakami’s book “101 Unuseless Japanese Inventions” lists examples of ‘chindogu’, oddball inventions that actually got made and marketed. Among them …
✓ The Hay Fever Hat – A hat with a roll of toilet paper attached for emergency nose blowing.
✓ Detachable Tooth Covers – Plastic gum coverings that keep teeth clean while eating, so post-meal brushing is unnecessary.
✓ Eye Drop Funnel Glasses – Glasses with funnels instead of lenses, for applying eye drops accurately.
✓ Bath Body Suit – Plastic coveralls to wear while bathing, eliminating the need to undress.
– PA News

EXHIBIT OF UNMENTIONABLES:

Extra undies cluttering up your drawers? The Missouri History Museum is planning a major exhibit on the evolution of women’s underwear and needs the public’s help to round out its collection of old-fashioned and modern undergarments. The “Underneath It All” exhibit is slated to open July 1st. Their interests tend toward the antique and exotic, such as 19th-century corsets and inflatable brassieres. But they’re also looking for good examples of everyday items of more recent vintage, such as padded panties, 1980s shoulder pads, and a Wonderbra or two. The address: 5700 Lindell Boulevard, Saint Louis, MO 63112.
– STLToday.com

ANIMAL MYTHS DEBUNKED:

• Bats – They’re not blind at all, but do have an additional sense called ‘echolocation’ that allows them to navigate in complete darkness. So from the bat’s perspective … you’re the blind one.
• Birds – A mother bird won’t abandon her baby because you’ve touched it any more than a human mother would abandon her baby if a bird touched it.
• Daddy Longlegs – They don’t have fangs (as rumored); don’t produce venom (as rumored); and aren’t even spiders (as commonly believed), but another form of arachnid.
• Dogs – They DO see color, though not quite like us. They can distinguish blues but the rest of the color spectrum they can’t tell apart. So next time you’re at a pet store, get Rover a blue toy.
• Goldfish – They have memories much longer than 3 seconds as is often stated. They can actually be trained and will remember what they’ve learned for months.
• Lemmings – They are real and adorable and not at all suicidal as videogames and folklore would have you believe.
• Ostriches – They do NOT hide their heads in the sand. At up to 9-feet-tall and 340 pounds, with sharp beaks, long claws, and the ability to run at 40 mph … they have no need to.
– Adapted from Neatorama.com

DID YOU KNOW?

• Being warm is satiating, scientists say. The warmer you are, the fuller you feel. That’s why restaurants often keep their thermostats low … so you’ll eat more.
– Gluttoness.com
• Seagrass is the oldest living thing on Earth. (So there, Betty White.)
– “Daily Telegraph”

BS CHRONOMETER 02.15.12


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1954 [58] Matt Groening, Portland OR, animator/TV show creator (“The Simpsons” since 1989)

1976 [36] Brandon Boyd, Van Nuys CA, rock singer (Incubus-“Oil & Water”, “Anna-Molly”)

1976 [36] Ronnie Vannucci Jr, Las Vegas NV, rock drummer (The Killers-“When You Were Young”, “Mr Brightside”)

1986 [26] Amber Riley, LA CA, TV actress (‘Mercedes Jones’ on “Glee” since 2009)
● BS FACTOID: On last night’s episode, she sang “I Will Always Love You.” How timely.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .

• “Gumdrop Day”, honoring the popular, gelatin-based candy which has been a favorite for decades. Nowadays, ‘Gummi’ candies are the most popular incarnation of the gumdrop.

• “National Flag of Canada Day”, the 16th annual official celebration of Canada’s maple leaf flag. It was first unveiled on Parliament Hill in 1965, replacing the ‘Red Ensign’.

• “Singles Awareness Day”, observed on the day after “Valentines Day” as a day for singles to give each other gifts and to celebrate and enjoy the fact that they’re unattached.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .

2004 [08] “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”, starring Ty Pennington, debuts (ABC)

2005 [07] Quickly popular online video-sharing site YouTube is launched (later to be swallowed up by Google)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .

1907 [105] “Happy Birthday to You” is copyrighted by Patty & Mildred Hill, so we say Happy Birthday to “Happy Birthday” … likely the world’s most-sung song!
● BS FACTOID: Warner Chappell purchased the company owning the copyright in 1990 and claims it is due royalties for any public performance. Best to cover the windows at your next birthday party.

TODAY’S FIRST . . .

1903 [109] 1st ‘Teddy Bear’ introduced by Morris & Rose Michtom (named after US President Theodore ‘Teddy’ Roosevelt)

COMING UP . . .

[Thurs] Innovation Day
[Fri] “Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance”; “The Secret World of Arrietty”; “Undefeated” open in theaters
[Sun] Chocolate Mint Day
[Mon] Family Day (AB, ON, SK)
[Mon] Presidents Day (USA)
This Week Is … Random Acts of Kindness Week
This Month Is … Bake for Family Fun Month

BULL’S BITS


MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
● Can you buy an entire chess set in a ‘pawn shop’?
● Do clowns wear really big socks?
● Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims?
● How can you tell when it’s time to tune your bagpipes?
● If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
● Why aren’t there ever any ‘guilty bystanders’?

BS RANDOM JOKE:

I read this article that says the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day!

IMPORTANT STUFF YOU CAN LEARN FROM YOUR KIDS:

● It’s more fun to color outside the lines.
● If you’re gonna draw on the wall, do it behind the couch.
● Ask ‘why’ until you understand.
● Make up the rules as you go along.
● If you want a kitten, start out asking for a horse.
● There is no good reason why clothes have to match.
● If your dog doesn’t like someone, you probably shouldn’t either.
● If you stand on tiptoe to be measured this year, you’ll have to stand on tiptoe for the rest of your life.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:

• You’re an ancient Egyptian. What’s your pillow made of?
a. Peacock feathers.
b. Stone. [CORRECT]
c. Cats.

• Which is NOT an official figure skating jump?
a. A Waltz.
b. A Toe Walley.
c. A Double Fermentation. [CORRECT]
– “Fascinating Facts”

BS PHONE STARTER:

Does a handwritten message still have more impact than a printed or electronic message?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Question: Asked what makes for a perfect vacation, most people surveyed say ‘No Kids’. And THIS was the #2 answer.
Answer: ‘No Electronics’ (the reason there’s ‘No BS’ for a week).

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

Time heals all wounds … unless you pick at them.


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