Friday, February 15, 2013        Edition: #4927

Ahhh, It’s Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!

Life’s a beach! We’re on hiatus next week February 18-22 inclusive. Subscribers will receive account credits in lieu of service. Next issue of “The Bull Sheet” is for February 25th.

Actress-turned-eco-activist Daryl Hannah has been arrested again in Washington DC after taking part in a protest against the construction of the controversial Keystone XL oil pipeline (it’s the biggest “Splash” she’s made in years) . . . Actor (and song-and-dance man) Hugh Jackman tells “Hollywood Reporter” that persistent rumors that he’s gay have really started to tick off his wife (but apparently not him) . . . First actor Charlie Sheen helped Lindsay Lohan pay her tax bill, now reports that he’s paid for half the cost of her designer gown for the star-studded AIDS charity event that kicks off New York Fashion Week (in exchange for services rendered no doubt) . . . . This year’s nominees for the “2013 Kids Choice Awards” (March 23rd) include Big Time Rush, Bridgit Mendler, and One Direction among others (they should just rename it ‘The Award Show That Makes You Feel Extremely Old & Out of Touch’) . . . Actress Elisha Cuthbert (“Happy Endings”) has just been named ‘Hottest Woman on TV’ by “Maxim” magazine (narrowly beating out Betty White) . . . And reports say that 1960s pop star Chubby Checker (“The Twist”) is suing Hewlett Packard over an app to measure penis size that’s called – yup, you guessed it – the ‘Chubby Checker’ (should’ve stuck with Peter Meter).

• “The Amazing Race” (CBS) – In the 22nd season debut Sunday, competitors go skydiving from 10,000 feet in Bora Bora; and 3 teams quit during the first roadblock.
• “Austin City Limits” (PBS) – Saturday night buzz band Alabama Shakes (“Boys & Girls”).
• “Beyoncé: Life Is But a Dream” (HBO) – Saturday the premiere of a new documentary that mixes concert footage with offstage scenes shot by Queen B herself. She also directed and executive produced the project. (’s review says the doc makes her seem like a total control freak.)
• “Chelsea Lately” (E!) – Tonight guest host Dave Grohl interviews Tenacious D. Rerun.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Tonight The Vaccines (“Come of Age”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Alicia Keys (“Girl on Fire”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Divine Fits (“A Thing Called Divine Fits”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Gloriana (“A Thousand Miles Left Behind”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight The Maccabees (“Given To the Wild”).
• London Fashion Week – Today-through-Tuesday it’s the UK’s turn to be center of the fashion world. Among the calendar of Fall previews is Rihanna’s collection of clothing & accessories for British brand River Island, set for its debut tomorrow.
• NBA All-Star Weekend (Houston TX) – Tonight Common, Ne-Yo, Nick Cannon, and Trey Songz are among those lacing up for the “2013 NBA All-Star Celebrity Game”. The “NBA All-Star Saturday Night” skills competition includes performances by Ellie Goulding, Fall Out Boy, and Phillip Phillips. Sunday’s “Sprint Pregame Concert” features BoB, Ke$ha, and Ludacris. At Sunday night’s “NBA All-Star Game” (TNT), Alicia Keys is the halftime entertainment; John Legend performs the pregame anthem.
• “Oprah’s Next Chapter” (OWN) – Saturday the ubiquitous Beyoncé does an in-depth interview with Oprah an hour before the debut of her HBO documentary.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Christoph Waltz (“Django Unchained”); musical guest Alabama Shakes (“Boys & Girls”).
• “Saturday Night Live in the ‘90s: Pop Culture Nation” (NBC) – Part 3 of the documentary examining the long-running show includes Dana Carvey, Jimmy Fallon, Tina Fey, Will Ferrell.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight FM Radio (“Out Of the Blue”).

• Eric Church – He leads nominations for the 48th annual “Academy of Country Music Awards” with 7 nods. The “ACMs” are handed out April 7th.
• fun. – The Grammy-winning band for ‘Best New Artist’ has now earned a Platinum award for their album “Some Nights”,  for selling more than 1 million units. It’s their first.
• Josh Groban – His latest album, “All That Echoes”, tops the new “Billboard” chart. It’s his first album to hit #1 in its opening sales week.
• Kanye West – NYC papers are reporting that an airline employee violated security protocols by permitting him and Kim Kardashian to bypass security to catch a flight at JFK Airport this week. But when TSA officials learned of the violation, they conducted a private screening of the twosome, causing the flight to be delayed 50 minutes. (More reason to hate on them.)
• Ke$ha – Grab your barf bags because she’s getting even more bizarre in her upcoming MTV documentary series, “Ke$ha: My Crazy Beautiful Life”. In one segment, she drinks her own pee when told by a friend it would be good for her. The show debuts in April.
• Lady Gaga – The remainder of her “Born This Way Ball” tour has now been cancelled as she needs surgery to repair a labral tear of the right hip caused by strenuous repetitive movements in her performances. The tour had been scheduled to run until the end of March.
• Taylor Swift – She & Carrie Underwood keep denying there’s any kind of feud between them but a friend of Swift’s tells “Us Weekly” Taylor feels Carrie is always rude to her, so she steers clear of her. And word has it Grammy Awards staffers made sure to seat them far apart.

• “Escape from Planet Earth” ( PG Animated Adventure ): Astronaut ‘Scorch Supernova’ finds himself caught in a trap when he responds to an SOS from a notoriously dangerous alien planet. Voice cast includes Brendan Fraser, Sarah Jessica Parker, Jessica Alba, Ricky Gervais, Sofía Vergara.
• Opening in limited release: “A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III” (Comedy); “Like Someone in Love: (Drama); “The Power of Few” (Action Thriller).

The idea that we replace every cell in our bodies every few years is a popular one … but incorrect. Fat cells are replaced at about 10% per year, but heart muscle cells turn over at just 1% per year at age 25, declining to 0.5% by age 70. An adult has around 40 liters of body water, which is recycled at the rate of about 3 liters per day. The neurons of the cerebral cortex and the cells in the lens of your eye are never normally replaced. And the calcium in your teeth is locked up forever. (The entire bodies of Hollywood celebs, however, are reamed, steamed and drycleaned once a year.)
– “BBC Focus Magazine”

A sampling of insider terminology used in coffee bars …
✓ ‘Marmot!’ – An alert to co-workers about an attractive customer, evoking a perking up similar to prairie dogs’.
✓ ‘Need cups?’ – A coded question baristas ask one another to indicate a cute customer.
✓ ‘Sipster’ – Loyal customers; also hipsters who insist on porcelain rather than to-go cups.
✓ ‘Burn One’ – Start brewing a new batch.
✓ ‘Jacked-up’ – An over-caffeinated regular.
✓ ‘Snaggler’ – A disagreeable customer.
✓ ‘Help Juice’ – Post-shift beers.
– Excerpted from “New York Times”

Defense contractor Raytheon has secretly developed software capable of tracking people’s movements and predicting their future behavior by mining data from social networks. The analytics system, known as ‘RIOT’ (Rapid Information Overlay Technology), can gather vast amounts of data about people from Facebook, Twitter, and Foursquare. Raytheon says it has not sold the software to any clients as yet, but acknowledges the technology has been shared with both the US government and industry as part of a joint R&D effort. (Bye bye, privacy.)

“Vegas”, the current CBS-TV drama starring Dennis Quaid & Michael Chiklis, is just the latest in a long line of TV programs based in the gambling Mecca. A brief history …
✳ “Vegas” (2012-??)
✳ “Las Vegas” (2003-08)
✳ “The Real World: Las Vegas” (2002-03, 2011-12)
✳ “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation” (2000-present)
✳ “Crime Story” (1986-88)
✳ “Vega$” (1978-81)
– QMI Agency

According to  Julienne Davis & Maggie Arana, authors of “Stop Calling Him Honey … And Start Having Sex!”, the worse the pet names used by a couple (‘dearest,’ ‘darling,’ ‘snuggly-puggly’), the worse their sex lives are. In turn, couples that don’t use them tend to have healthier sex lives. The authors think that may be because a super-saccharine nickname turns someone into an asexual, cuddly teddy-bear … but it doesn’t make you want to shag them. (“What’s the most revolting pet name you’ve hear someone use? ‘Toojie-buttons’ perhaps?)
– “Cleveland Plain Dealer”

There are 845 million monthly active Facebook members, few of whom know about these insider secrets …
● Facebook keeps the default sharing setting as ‘Public’ as it’s better for them if you share more. They assume most of us won’t bother to change privacy settings.
● Some information can’t be made private on Facebook. Your name, profile picture, cover picture, network, gender, and username are always publicly available.
● Whenever you are signed in, Facebook tracks you while you surf the Internet.
● Be careful when you ‘like’ a company, or post about a product. Your interaction might be shown to your friends as an ad for that company.
● You may not see every post from your friends. Facebook moves up the posts that are the most ‘liked’, ‘shared’, and commented on.
● In a recent filing, Facebook estimated that as many as 83 million of its profiles are fake, though some are duplicate pages set up by real people.
● Want to know how much Facebook knows about you? Go to ‘Account Settings’ in the ‘Home’ menu and click ‘Download a copy of your Facebook data’.
– Condensed from

Is that your spidey-sense tingling? Nope, it’s a cry of suffocation. Your arm can’t reach for anything when blood can’t reach your arm.  If you leave a limb in a position that constricts or otherwise impairs blood circulation, the limb’s malnourished nerves will start to malfunction. You may experience tingling, pain, or numbness in the blood-deprived area as your sensory neurons fail. The tingling ‘pins & needles’ sensation, known as paresthesia, can also result from sustained pressure on a nerve. (Now, why does your husband always fall asleep …)

• Senior managers at Lego have to take exams in social media.
– “Brand Republic”
• China has hippies who drop out of the rat race.
– “Financial Times”


1954 [59] Matt Groening, Portland OR, animator/TV show creator (“The Simpsons” since 1989)

1976 [37] Brandon Boyd, Van Nuys CA, rock singer (Incubus-“Oil & Water”, “Anna-Molly”)

1976 [37] Ronnie Vannucci Jr, Las Vegas NV, rock drummer (The Killers-“When You Were Young”, “Mr Brightside”)

1986 [27] Amber Riley, LA CA, TV actress (‘Mercedes Jones’ on “Glee” since 2009)

TV actor-rapper Ice-T (“Law & Order: Special Victims Unit”) is 55; Oldies guitarist Andy Taylor (Duran Duran) is 52; Metal rock drummer Dave Lombardo (Slayer) is 48; Rock bassist-vocalist Brad Walst (Three Days Grace) is 36; Rapper Lupe Fiasco (“The Show Goes On”) is 31; Pop-rock singer Ryan Follesé (Hot Chelle Rae) is 26.

Comedian/TV personality Larry the Cable Guy (“Blue Collar TV”) is 50; Film director Michael Bay (“Transformers”) is 48; Movie actress/reality TV personality Denise Richards (“Madea’s Witness Protection”) is 42; Rock drummer Taylor Hawkins (Foo Fighters) is 41; Rock singer-guitarist Billie Joe Armstrong (Green Day) is 41; Movie actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt (“Looper”) is 32; Media personality/heiress Paris Hilton is 32.

• “Festival du Voyageur” through February 24th, the 44th edition of Western Canada’s largest annual Winter festival, celebrating the joie de vivre of the fur traders over 10 days in Winnipeg.
• “Gumdrop Day”, honoring the popular, gelatin-based candy which has been a favorite for decades. Nowadays, ‘Gummi’ candies are the most popular incarnation of the gumdrop.
• “National Flag of Canada Day”, the 16th annual official celebration of Canada’s maple leaf flag. It was first unveiled on Parliament Hill in 1965, replacing the ‘Red Ensign’.

• “Do a Grouch a Favor Day”, a day to perform an unexpected good deed to cheer up someone who’s sulky.

• “PTA Founders’ Day”, commemorating the parent-teacher association’s 1897 founding. It was originally known as the ‘National Congress of Mothers’.
• “Random Acts of Kindness Day”, a highlight of “Random Acts of Kindness Week”, when we’re encouraged to perform good deeds without prompting. Why? It makes both the giver and the receiver feel good.
• “World Human Spirit Day”, encouraging 2 minutes of silent meditation throughout the world – and beyond – to focus on the true spirit that flows through everything.

2004 [09] “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”, starring Ty Pennington, debuts (ABC)

2005 [08] Quickly popular online video-sharing site YouTube is launched (later to be swallowed up by Google)

2001 [12] 1st draft of the complete human genome is published in the science journal “Nature”

2003 [10] Largest peace demonstration in history as up to 30 million people in over 600 cities worldwide protests against the Iraq war

[Mon] Presidents Day (USA)
[Mon] Family Day (AB/ON/SK)
[Mon] Louis Riel Day (MB)
[Mon] Battery Day
[Tues] Chocolate Mint Day
[Tues] Single Tasking Day
[Wed] BRIT Awards (London)
This Week Is … International Friendship Week
This Month Is … Care About Your Indoor Air Month


☼ “I Have Never Ever Done Anything Wrong in a Relationship”
☼ “What Did I Do to Deserve This?”
☼ “Cheater”
☼ “She’s Cheer Captain, and I’m a Country-Pop Crossover Megastar”
☼ “Stop Suggesting that My Notions of Love are Unreasonable”
☼ “The Innocent Girl Next Door/Me”
☼ “Cheater (Reprise)”
☼ “I Knew You Were Song Material”
– Thanks to Jeremy Purser.

☎ What are some things you shouldn’t do in an elevator?

Question: About one-third of all mothers will do THIS on Sunday.
Answer: Laundry.

Never cook bacon when you’re naked.

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