Monday, February 17, 2014        Edition: #5161

Sweet Sheet!

★ Charlie Sheen is reportedly engaged to adult film star Brett Rossi. The “Anger Management” star is said to have asked her to marry him on Saturday during a vacation in Hawaii. Pics have emerged online showing the couple smiling and holding hands, with Rossi sporting a large diamond ring. Sheen hinted at the news on Twitter, writing “In a moment of Kray-zee (crazy) gratitude; I got my gal (girl)!! 4evurr (forever)!” Of course, he has announced he was engaged and/or married before … and it turned out to be bogus.
★ Actress Ellen Page revealed Friday night that she is a ‘gay woman’. Speaking at a conference held in Las Vegas to promote the welfare of LGBT youth, Page said she hoped coming out would help others have ‘an easier and more hopeful time’. The 26-year-old next stars in “X-Men: Days of Future Past”, out in May. She rose to fame and nabbed an Oscar nomination for portraying a pregnant teen in 2007’s “Juno”.
★ “Orange Is the New Black” fans, your binge-watching start date has been set! Netflix has announced the buzzed-about prison drama’s 2nd season will drop June 6th. The series revolves around ‘Piper Chapman’ (Taylor Schilling), a bisexual woman, engaged to a man, who is sentenced to 15 months in a women’s prison for transporting a suitcase full of drug money. Just like other Netflix original programs, such as “House of Cards”, all 13 episodes of the new season will become available for streaming on the release date.

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Nicki Bluhm & The Gramblers (“Nicki Bluhm & The Gramblers”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Silversun Pickups (“The Singles Collection”, out February 25th).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Roddy Hart & The Lonesome Fire (“Roddy Hart & The Lonesome Fire”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Gary Clark Jr (“Blak & Blu”).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Boy George (“This Is What I Do”).
• “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Fallon makes his debut as the 6th host in the 60-year late night show’s history, moving the program to NYC from LA. His first guests are actor Will Smith (“Focus”) and U2 (“Ordinary Love”). Note that he’s using the term ‘Starring’ in the title rather than ‘With’ as Jay Leno did. That’s a throwback to the old Johnny Carson days.
• “Winter Olympics” (CBC/NBC) – Women’s Hockey Semifinals; Figure skating: Ice Dance Free Dance.

• Elton John – He’s hoping to turn Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice’s musical “Joseph & The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat” (1968) into an animated movie. He’s signed on to help adapt the project through his production company, Rocket Pictures.
• Imagine Dragons – Lead singer Dan Reynolds met drummer Andrew Tolman at Brigham Young University, where they were both students in 2008. That initial meeting led to the formation of the alt-rock band that’s now based out of Las Vegas.
• Kanye West – Speculation now has it he & Kim Kardashian and might wed as early as May.
• Lady Gaga – While shooting the video for “GUY (Girl Under You)” at California’s Hearst Castle, she was nipped by an exotic animal called a slow loris. A baby kangaroo and a goat were also on the set. The singer wasn’t badly hurt … nor was the slow loris.
• Miley Cyrus – The controversy queen unleashed her highly anticipated, 38-date “Bangerz” tour at a packed, but not sold-out, Rogers Arena in Vancouver BC Friday night. The strings of balloons, cotton candy, and animal costumes set the stage for a no-holds-barred party.
• The Neighbourhood – Their name is sometimes stylized as ‘The NBHD’. Drummer Bryan Sammis was so inspired by early versions of the song “Sweater Weather” that he left college to join the band. Then he quit the band in mid-January to pursue a solo music career.
• Passenger – British folk-rock singer-songwriter Michael Rosenberg’s stage name comes from being the main vocalist and songwriter of the band Passenger, formed in 2003. The band released just one album before breaking up. Rosenburg opted to keep the name.

Nearly half of us are currently living with one or more chronic medical conditions, according to Pew Research Center. A survey of 3,000 people finds that 45% of respondents are stricken with chronic conditions including diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, and cancer. Many of them diagnosed themselves after doing research online. Among those with chronic conditions, 72% say they routinely use the Internet as a medical information tool. (Doctors really love this. “No you don’t have heart disease, you’re constipated.”)
– CBS News

• Rub walnuts on damaged wooden furniture to cover up any scratches.
• Use cut toilet paper rolls as cuffs to prevent gift wrap paper from unrolling.
• If you can’t find any kindling to start a fire, use Doritos.
• Use a plastic bread tab to hold your spot on a roll of tape.
• Stick the hard-to-use old sliver of soap onto the new bar of soap by moistening both and holding them together.
• Place your cellphone light underneath a water bottle for a makeshift lantern that distributes light better.
• Use internationally accented letters, Arabic letters, and Chinese characters in your passwords to make them more secure.
• Reheat pizza in a low-heat frying pan. The crust will get crispy while the toppings stay gooey.

For all the miracles of modern medical science, researchers are still finding cures in the strangest places. Case in point: Harvard scientists have recently discovered a chemical in bear bile that could slow the development of Type 1 diabetes in humans. The liquid from the bear gallbladder has long been used in traditional Chinese medicines; now researchers say it seems to halt the progression of diabetes. In experiments, animals treated with a component from the bile before they become diabetic, never become diabetic. (Drink your bile, it’s good for you.)
– CTV News

1. If it feels wrong, don’t do it.
2. Say exactly what you mean.
3. Don’t be a people pleaser.
4. Trust your instincts.
5. Never speak badly about yourself.
6. Never give up on your dreams.
7. Don’t be afraid to say ‘no’.
8. Don’t be afraid to say ‘yes’.
9. Resist the need to always have control.
10. Stay away from drama and negativity as much as possible.
– Google+

A recent study at the University of the West of England delivers the startling news that a driver with a hangover but zero blood alcohol level is just as dangerous as someone who is legally drunk. In experiments, volunteers were supplied enough alcohol to push them over the legal driving limit. The following morning, when they had a zero blood alcohol reading, they took part in a 20-minute driving simulation and all of them failed the test miserably. (It’s called a ‘hangover’ for a reason … it’s because you are still in an impaired state.)

The eyes don’t lie: Men really do look at women’s bodies more than their faces, according to a University of Nebraska study that used eye-tracking technology to prove what women have long known. But it’s not just men who do it … the study found that women look at other women’s bodies too. In experiments, both genders fixed their gaze more on women’s chests and waists and less on faces. Bodies with larger breasts, narrower waists, and bigger hips often prompted longer looks. The explanation may be partly evolutionary, researchers say, since men may be drawn to more shapely women for childbearing while women may be checking out the competition. (And dissing.)

• Fidel Castro is a fan of the (once) progressive rock band Yes.
– “The Guardian”
• Only 1-in-2 billion people will live to be 116-years-old.
• China uses drones to monitor herds of wild yaks in a remote mountain region.
– BBC News


1963 [51] Larry the Cable Guy (Daniel Whitney), Pawnee City NE, comedian/TV personality (“Blue Collar TV”)/sometime movie actor (“Delta Farce”, “Witless Protection”)

1965 [49] Michael Bay, LA CA, film director (“Transformers” films, “Armageddon”)

1971 [43] Denise Richards, Downers Grove IL, reality TV personality (“Denise Richards: It’s Complicated”)/movie actress (“The World Is Not Enough”)/ex-wife of actor Charlie Sheen

1972 [42] Taylor Hawkins, Ft Worth TX, rock drummer (Foo Fighters since 1997-“No Way Back”, “Times Like These”)/drummer for Alanis Morissette 1995-96

1972 [42] Billie Joe Armstrong, Oakland CA, rock singer-guitarist (Green Day-“American Idiot”, “Boulevard Of Broken Dreams”)

1981 [33] Joseph Gordon-Levitt, LA CA, movie actor-director-producer (“Lincoln”, “The Dark Knight Rises”)/former TV actor (“3rd Rock From the Sun” 1996–2001)  COMING UP: “Sin City: A Dame to Kill For”, opening August 22nd.

1981 [33] Paris Hilton, NYC, socialite/sometime TV personality (“Paris Hilton’s My New BFF”, “The Simple Life”)/sometime movie actress (“Repo! The Genetic Opera”, “House of Wax”)/great-granddaughter of hotel magnate Conrad Hilton

1989 [25] Chord Overstreet, Nashville TN, TV actor (recurring role as ‘Sam Evans’ on “Glee” since 2010)

1991 [23] Ed Sheeran, Halifax UK, pop singer-songwriter-guitarist-producer (“I See Fire”, “The A Team”)

• “Family Day” a semi-national annual Canadian holiday. The province of Alberta has observed it on the 3rd Monday of February since 1990. Saskatchewan adopted the idea in 2007; Ontario added the mid-Winter break in 2008. Manitoba celebrates the holiday as “Louis Riel Day”.

• “PTA Founders’ Day”, commemorating the parent-teacher association’s 1897 founding. It was originally known as the ‘National Congress of Mothers’.

• “Presidents Day” in the USA, always the 3rd Monday in February, originally to honor the birthdays of both George Washington (February 22nd) & Abraham Lincoln (February 12th), now recognizing all US Presidents.

• “World Human Spirit Day”, encouraging 2 minutes of silent meditation throughout the world – and beyond – to focus on the true spirit that flows through everything.

1976 [38] The Eagles album “Their Greatest Hits 1971-1975” is released (according to RIAA, 2nd only to Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” as all-time best-seller at over 29 million units)

2003 [11] Reality TV reaches a new low as some 40 million viewers watch fake “Joe Millionaire” (in reality, 28-year old heavy equipment operator Evan Marriott) select a potential bride from 20 ‘contestants’ (model Zora Andrich) on FOX-TV

2003 [11] ‘Congestion Charge Zone’ scheme begins, whereby motorists traveling into designated central areas of London UK between 7 am and 6 pm must pay a daily fee (the fine for non-payment of the £8-per-day charge ranges as high as £180)

2003 [11] Tauranga NZ man is sentenced to 200 hours of community service for speeding … without a license or registration … on a motorized barstool … semi-naked … while intoxicated … with his butt on fire

[Tues] Battery Day
[Wed] 2014 Brit Awards (London)
[Wed] Chocolate Mint Day
[Wed] Single Tasking Day
[Thurs] Introduce A Girl to Engineering Day
[Thurs] Love Your Pet Day
This Week Is … Kraut & Frankfurter Week
This Month Is … Celebration of Chocolate Month


Highlight bits culled from 20 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
While you run down the list rapid fire, your contestant must determine whether each item is an oddly-named disease/syndrome, or a move executed in figure skating …
Toe Walley [Figure Skating]
Swizzles [Figure Skating]
Stringhalt [Disease]
Double Stag [Figure Skating]
Mazurka [Figure Skating]
Jumping Frenchmen of Maine [Disease]
Half Lutz [Figure Skating]
Alice-in-Wonderland [Disease]
Falling Leaf [Figure Skating]
Walking Corpse [Disease]
– First published in “BS” 2004.

● Why do we always ask babies and pets the same question twice? (Aren’t you just the cutest little thing huh? Aren’t you just the cutest?)
● Why does one recite at a play, but play at a recital?
● Why is it that people will buy anything that’s ‘one to a customer’?
● Is cheese the plural of choose?
● How can the weather be ‘hot as hell’ one day and ‘cold as hell’ another?
● Why is it that if you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire?
– First published in “BS” 1998.

TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

☎ Which is most important … happiness, success, wealth, or fame?

Question: The average person has $56-worth of THESE in their home.
Answer: Coins.

A bird in hand is better than two overhead.

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