Wednesday, February 2, 2011        Edition: #4438
Guaranteed100% Grade A Bull!

RadarOnline is reporting that troubled actor Charlie Sheen doesn’t think he has a problem and is opting to hide out in his LA mansion instead of checking into rehab as his people are recommending (this guy’s on a mission to doom) . . . Latest word has it Sheen’s family is quietly discussing going to court to gain ‘conservatorship’ over him (change comes from within, no?) . . . And Sheen may be the highest-paid actor on TV (a reported $27.5 mill), but the 300 other people who work on “Two-and-a-Half Men” aren’t sure if they’re going to get paid while he gets his act together (he’s a shoo-in for ‘Jerk of the Year’ so far) . . . 44-year-old actress Halle Berry has pulled out of the film “New Year’s Eve”, which started filming this week in NYC, in order to clear her schedule for an upcoming court battle with her ex, Gabriel Aubry, over custody of their 2-and-a-half-year-old daughter Nahla (the big winner out of all this: Katherine Heigl, who’s been given Berry’s movie role) . . . Because Miley Cyrus famously took a bong hit in real life, footage of actors pretending to do the same is being removed from her new movie “LOL” (if it’s in the script, why didn’t she just claim she was doing ‘research’?) . . . speculates that “CBS Evening News” anchor Katie Couric is angling to become the new ‘Queen of Daytime TV’ when Oprah retires (truth is, love her or hate her, there’s only one ‘O’ and nobody’s going to ‘replace’ her) . . . “Glee” actress Jenna Ushkowitz (‘Tina Cohen-Chang’) & “Vampire Diaries” actor Michael Trevino (‘Tyler Lockwood’) are reportedly dating (how do these “Glee” kids find time for relationships with all those choir rehearsals?) . . . And former acting couple Scarlett Johansson & Ryan Reynolds have allegedly been spotted having dinner together, leading to lots of reconciliation rumors (or maybe it’s just a case of sleeping with the ex?).

• Aces & Angels Salute To The Troops (Dallas TX) – Gene Simmons hosts this benefit concert for military personnel that’s part of the kick-off for Super Bowl 45 week. Performers include Five For Fighting, bluegrass group The Grascals, and country act Little Texas. The event is being taped for an upcoming episode of the reality TV series “Gene Simmons’ Family Jewels” (A&E).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Brit rapper Tinie Tempah (“Disc-Overy”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Screaming Females (“Castle Talk”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Phantogram (“Eyelid Movies”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Boxer Rebellion (“The Cold Still”).
• “Live to Dance” (CBS) – The 6 final acts in Paula Abdul’s dance competition series compete for the public’s vote.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Ryan Bingham (“Junky Star”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Ricky Martin (“Musica+Alma+Sexo”).

• Bob Seger – The classic rocker is putting together his first tour since 2006. The first batch of North American arena dates are going to be announced next week.
• Culture Club – Boy George is eyeing 2012 for a full-on reunion of the 1980s band, which will include generating new material. They last got together for a 20th anniversary concert in 2002.
• Eminem – He’s reportedly getting paid $1 million to star as a claymation character in an ad for Lipton Brisk iced tea during Sunday’s Super Bowl. Is that enough to cover his loss of cred?
• Kings Of Leon – They’ve been forced to postpone their tour of Australia and South Africa as drummer Nathan Followill has had to undergo biceps surgery and will be unable to play for at least 3 months while he recovers.
• Sugarland – Their latest album, “The Incredible Machine”, has received RIAA Platinum certification for sales of over 1 million units. It’s their 4th consecutive release to reach that mark.
• U2 – They’ve announced what will be the final North American date added to their “360” tour, the “Magnetic Music Festival” in Moncton, New Brunswick on July 30th. Arcade Fire will open.

New cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Landscraper’ – An imposingly long building, particularly one that houses a commercial enterprise, such as a factory or hotel. (Like a skyscraper … only sideways.)
• ‘Mom Cave’ – An area of a house that a woman can decorate to her tastes and be alone in to pursue her interests. (“Don’t bother her, she’s in the mom cave with that hot guy from work.”)
• ‘Relaxation Drink’ – The opposite of an ‘energy drink’, this is a non-alcoholic drink formulated to help promote relaxation and relieve stress. Drinks like Slow Cow and Vacation In a Bottle are the anti-Red Bull. Among the natural relaxants that may be included are chamomile, hemp, hops, kava extract, linden, melatonin, and valerian. (Best served … ‘chilled’.)

A company called Sonitus Medical has recently acquired FDA approval in the USA for its new hearing aid system. It’s called ‘SoundBite’, and involves 2 separate piece of apparatus: one that slips behind the user’s ear, and another that fits on … the molars. Sound picked up by the earpiece is transmitted wirelessly to the mouthpiece, which vibrates the teeth. Those vibrations can then be understood by the inner ear as sound. (“If you can’t hear me … open your mouth!”)

A joint University of Pennsylvania-Yale University study has come to several conclusions about why the good-looking get ahead. Among them …
• Pretty faces are more often tied to positive words like ‘laughter’ and ‘happiness’ than negative words.
• Facial attractiveness is judged in a fraction of a second, so quickly that participants barely know it’s happening.
• Pretty faces seem to be judged as particularly powerful. Interestingly, other attractive things, such as pretty houses, do not spark the same reaction.
The bottom line isn’t too surprising – attractive people are not only paid more, they are judged to be more intelligent, and receive more overall attention than average-looking people. (How awful that must be for you, [co-host].)
– WebMD

US researchers are currently developing what’s called the ‘Driver Alcohol Detection System for Safety’, which would use sensors to measure a driver’s blood alcohol content either by analyzing breath. or through the skin using sophisticated touch-based sensors that might be placed on steering wheels and door locks. Both methods would eliminate the need for drivers to take any extra steps, and those who register as sober would not be delayed in getting on the road. The system has the potential to save thousands of lives, but could be as long as a decade away from everyday use in cars. (Shouldn’t this be more of a priority than the ‘Digital Cupholder’?)
– AP

To most Westerners, the idea of paying someone to stick little sticks, scoops, and tweezers into their ears might sound like torture. To the Vietnamese, it’s an art form. Along with luxurious shampoos, relaxing shaves, and facials, ‘ear picking’ is one the procedures offered in corner barbershops or ‘hot tocs’. And it can often elicit moans of ecstasy. In fact, fans of the procedure claim it produces an ‘ear-gasm’. Experts say that’s because there’s a spot near the eardrum that tingles when touched the right way and, for some, can produce a mind-blowing experience. (If you ever want to use your iPod earbuds again, do not attempt this at home!)

The 5 words with the most definitions in the “Oxford English Dictionary” are …
• ‘Top’ (464 definitions)
• ‘Run’ (396)
• ‘Go’ (368)
• ‘Take’ (343)
• ‘Stand’ (334)
– “The Herald”

Real men don’t cry … or do they? Lee Glickstein & Pete van Dyk have founded a group in San Anselmo CA that’s dedicated to promoting crying as a therapeutic practice. The members (aged 25-to-67) arrange their chairs in a circle, then sit down and prepare to cry during 2-hour weekly sessions. Some hadn’t cried since they were young boys and wanted to learn how to cry again. A few cried often, and were thrilled to have found a safe space to do so. The name of this weepy little organization? ‘WaterWorkers’. (Wouldn’t it be great to watch the Super Bowl with these guys?)
– “San Francisco Chronicle”

Sick of wasting half-a-day waiting to see an Emergency Room doctor? A service called InQuickER (get it?) offers patients the ability to prebook an appointment. Then, if they’re not seen within 15 minutes of arrival at the hospital, they get their money back. Fees for the service range from $15-to-$25. The Nashville-based company that started it claims that since it was launched in 2006, 95% of appointments have been kept successfully. The system is currently in use at 15 hospitals in 8 US states. (Now can we fix the witch behind the reception window?)
– “Los Angeles Times”

Only 17% of the eyeball can be seen outside the human body. (Unless you’re Susan Sarandon.)


1942 [69] Graham Nash, Blackpool UK, oldies singer (Crosby, Stills & Nash-“Suite: Judy Blue Eyes”, Hollies-“Bus Stop”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1997)

1949 [62] Ross Valory, San Francisco CA, classic rock bassist (Journey-“Don’t Stop Believin’”, “Open Arms”)

1966 [45] Robert DeLeo, Glen Ridge NJ, rock bassist (Stone Temple Pilots-“Between the Lines”, “Lady Picture Show”)

1975 [36] Donald Driver, Houston TX, NFL wide receiver (Super Bowl-bound Green Bay Packers)

1977 [34] Shakira (Ripoll), Barranquilla, Columbia, pop singer (f/Wyclef Jean-“Hips Don’t Lie”, “Whenever, Wherever”)/philanthropist  FACTOID: Shakira is Arabic for ‘full of grace’.

• “Crêpe Day” (aka “La Chandeleur”) in France, when the traditional thin pancakes are served up, filled with either sweet or savory goodies. On this day it’s customary to hold a coin in one hand and the crêpe pan in the other as you flip the crêpe into the air. If you manage to catch it in the pan, it’s said your family will be prosperous for the rest of the year.

• “Girls & Women in Sports Day”, the 25th celebration of women who ‘Stay Strong, Play On’.

• “Groundhog Day”, a 125-year tradition that perpetuates the hogwash that a hibernating groundhog prodded from its burrow can forecast 6 more weeks of Winter by seeing its shadow. This annual oddity stems from the Christian celebration of “Candlemas”. An old Scottish poem proclaims, “If Candlemas is fair and clear, there’ll be two winters in the year.” In Mexico, today is known as “Dia de la Candelaria”, a big day for bullfights and festivals.
– Canada’s best known prognosticator is ‘Wiarton Willie’.
– ‘Punxsutawney Phil’ is America’s original forecaster and most famous hog.

• “Imbolc” (‘IHM-bulk’), the ancient Wiccan festival also known as ‘Brighid’ (‘breed’) or ‘Oimelc’ (‘EE-mulk’) which means ewe’s milk. The celebration signals the middle of the season of long nights and anticipates the upcoming season of light. Celebrants make ‘Corn Maidens’ from corn & wheat and place them in a cradle known as a ‘Bride’s Bed’.

• “Job Shadow Day” in America, the 14th annual that kicks off a program of some 1 million students shadowing workplace mentors on-the-job.

• “Men’s Grooming Day”. Yeah it’s here again already, your annual day to clean up your act.

• “Sled Dog Day”, honoring those tenacious teams of canines that pull together to provide transportation in the snowy north. (A good day to enjoy some ‘mush’!)

• “World Wetlands Day”, observed annually since 1997 to raise awareness among governments, non-governmental organizations, and the public at large of the ecological values and benefits of the world’s wetlands. (Formerly known as ‘swamps’.)

2000 [11] Oprah Winfrey’s new female-targeted ‘Oxygen’ TV network debuts (her cable network OWN [Oprah Winfrey Network] debuted in January 2011)

1979 [32] Sid Vicious of punk rock band the Sex Pistols dies of a heroin overdose at a party celebrating … his completion of a detox program

1931 [80] 1st use of a rocket to deliver mail (Austria)

1936 [75] The first 5 members of the new Baseball Hall of Fame are announced at Cooperstown NY: Babe Ruth, Christy Matthewson, Honus Wagner, Ty Cobb, and Walter  Johnson

1996 [15] Grey Cup champion Stallions announce the team’s leaving Baltimore for Montréal, thereby ending the failed CFL experiment in the USA

[Thurs] Chinese New Year
[Fri] Wear Red Day
[Fri] World Cancer Day
[Fri] “The Roommate”; “Sanctum” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Weather Forecasters Day
[Sat] World Nutella Day
This Week Is … International Snow Sculpting Week
This Month Is … Bird Feeding Month


So-called ‘Boomerang Kids’ are becoming more & more common as offspring who move out of the family home to get a higher education move back once they graduate because they can’t find a job. You definitely quality as a ‘BK’ if …
• You’re 42 and you still have a curfew.
• Every night when you come home from the unemployment office, mommy lays out your “Star Wars” jammies.
• You get caught sneaking in late from a Barry Manilow concert.
• You’ve convinced yourself that when Dad dies, Mom will marry you.
• You and your parents’ pension cheques come on same day of the month.
• You can never figure out which dentures are yours.

To avoid the flu this Winter, take vitamin C … to Barbados.

Away in a meadow all covered with snow
The little old groundhog looks for his shadow
The clouds in the sky determine our fate
If Winter will leave us all early or late.
– Thanks to Don Halley

If a Florida state representative’s bill gets passed, public-school teachers will be required to grade the parents of students in Kindergarten through Grade 3. The parents’ grades of ‘satisfactory’, ‘unsatisfactory’, or ‘needs improvement’ would be added to their children’s report card. Grading the parents … good idea or bad?

Today’s Question: 20-something women say ‘kindness’ is the most important attribute in a partner, while 30-something women pick THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A sense of humor.

‘Needless to say’ is usually … needless to say.

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