Monday, February 2, 2015        Edition: #5388


Guaranteed 100% Grade A Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Whitney Houston & Bobby Brown’s daughter, Bobbi Kristina Brown, has been placed in a medically-induced coma due to swelling of the brain after being found unconscious in a bathtub at her home in Roswell GA on Saturday. The 21-year-old was rushed to hospital, where she remains in intensive care. Police reportedly searched her home for drugs but didn’t find any. The circumstances are eerie considering her mother was found dead in a bathtub following a drug overdose in 2012.
– Variety.com
★ Larry David, co-creator of NBC-TV’s long-running sitcom “Seinfeld” (1989-98) and star of HBO’s “Curb Your Enthusiasm” (2000-11), is making his Broadway debut at the age of 67 in “Fish In the Dark”, which he has also written. The comedy focuses on 15 characters as they deal with a death in the family. Previews for the new play begin tonight at NYC’s Cort Theatre, with opening night set for March 5th.
– WENN.com
★ This year’s annual ‘ShipRocked’ cruise debarks the Port Of Miami in Florida today en route to Great Stirrup Cay in the Bahamas aboard the Norwegian Pearl. The 5-day rock music cruise is headlined by Buckcherry, Chevelle, Limp Bizkit, and Sevendust among many others. Guests enjoy multiple performances, meet & greets, Q&A sessions, and artist-hosted activities such as game shows and theme nights.
– FMQB.com
★ And a sequel to late Swedish author Stieg Larsson’s best-selling “Millennium” crime trilogy is going on sale this August. “That Which Does Not Kill”, penned by David Lagercrantz, continues the story of troubled but resourceful heroine ‘Lisbeth Salander’, who was first made famous in Larsson’s “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo” in 2005. At the time of his 2004 death, Larsson had plans to write at least another 7 novels.
– RelaxNews.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Seinabo Sey (“Hard Time”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – The new ‘Mash Up Mondays’ series begins, pairing up different acts to perform together. Tonight, ‘Wee-Z Top’, featuring Weezer (“Everything Will Be Alright In the End”) & rock veterans ZZ Top (“The Very Baddest”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Alt-J (“This Is All Yours”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Kid Ink f/Elle Varner (“Full Speed”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings (“Give the People What They Want”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Diana Krall (“Wallflower”, out tomorrow).
• “Mike & Molly” (CBS/CityTV) – Hard to believe but it’s the 100th episode of the Melissa McCarthy-Billy Gardell comedy. Tonight ‘Molly’ discovers ‘Mike’ hasn’t been to the doctor in over a decade.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Gwen Stefani (upcoming 3rd studio album).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Jay Z – He’s made a $56-million bid for the Scandinavian firm Aspiro, the company behind high-quality music streaming service Tidal, which launched in the US and UK in October. Its board of directors has issued a statement unanimously recommending all shareholders accept the offer. The move would see Jay Z competing with both Spotify and Apple’s Beats Music.
• Kanye West – He tells Ellen Degeneres he still doesn’t have a title for his new album. Quote: “I don’t know yet. We’re still trying to find it. Trying to find the vibe, this transition from what I felt when I did Yeezus to what I feel now, and we’re just creating. So we haven’t found it yet.”
• Luke Bryan – His latest single, “I See You”, is #1 on the new ‘Billboard Country Songs’ chart, knocking off Carrie Underwood. Her “Something In the Water” has fallen to 2nd after leading the list for 7 weeks.
• Miranda Lambert – She batted 1000 on Friday as she was nominated in all 7 Academy of Country Music categories for which she qualified. The ACM Awards will be handed out on April 19th.
• Shakira – She gave birth to her 2nd child last week, a son named Sasha Piqué Mebarak. ‘Sasha, she notes on her website, is of Greek and Russian descent and means ‘defender’ and ‘warrior’.

BINGE BLUBBER:
Watching TV marathons can be an indication that you’re lonely and depressed … and will also make you fat. University of Texas researchers say ‘binge-watching’ should no longer be considered a harmless activity as it can lead to obesity and exhaustion. The findings also show that binge-watchers are more likely to lack self-control and suffer from other addictions. Their viewing habit can cause them to neglect work, relationships, and even family. The study concludes that the worse somebody feels, the more likely they are to watch a lot of TV in an apparent attempt to avoid their low mood. Researchers say the findings should be a wake-up call. (What’s your record for most episodes in a day?)
– @MailOnline

TIMES YOU’VE APOLOGIZED WHEN YOU DIDN’T NEED TO:
✗ When someone bumps into YOU.
✗ When the store assistant has to go out back to get an item not stocked on the shelf.
✗ When you ask your restaurant server for the water they’ve forgotten… twice already.
✗ When you ask to look at the menu again.
✗ When you’re new to a job and you ask for help.
✗ When somebody interrupts you in the middle of a conversation.
✗ When your friend says they didn’t like the movie you recommended.
✗ When guests show up early and you’re not ready.
✗ When you have to walk through an area of a building that’s being mopped.
✗ When someone is blocking YOUR way.
– Condensed from BuzzFeed.com

RECYCLED BEER:
Why dump treated wastewater when you could make beer with it? That’s what Oregon company Clean Water Services is asking. It’s seeking state permission for brewers to use its wastewater product exclusively to make beer. The company boasts that its advanced treatment process can turn sewage into perfectly safe drinking water. It runs 4 wastewater treatment plants in the Portland metro area, and wants to show off its high-purity system by having brewers use the treated water. The Oregon Brew Crew would make small batches of beer to be served at events, not sold at a brewery. (How many times have you heard … “You don’t buy beer, you just rent it”?)
– NPR.org

WOULD YOU HIRE A PARTY FIXER FOR YOUR VACATION?
A new service lets tourists rent well-connected locals to get them into the coolest clubs when traveling. Zoolafix.com launched in December and now operates in 14 countries. Cities where the service is offered so far include Amsterdam, London, NYC, Rome, and Sydney. Here’s how it works: ‘Fixers’ are offered in each city to host clients and design bespoke nights on-the-town. Users of the service pay a fee to be shown the best local nightspots. The party tour guides typically charge $120 per night, and spend as little or as much time with clients as requested. The idea is from London party planner Richard Walker-Smith, who has an app set to launch this year.
NET: https://www.zoolafix.com
– “Daily Mail”

THOUGHTS EVERY CLEAN FREAK HAS IN SOMEONE ELSE’S HOUSE:
• Ew. This doorbell button is crusty.
• They may have vacuumed the floor, but they did NOT get all the way under the cabinets.
• This kitchen smells like 2-day-old garbage masked by lemon-scented air freshener.
• I wonder how long they’ve had that sponge.
• I just counted like, 12 strands of hair on this sofa.
• That chair over there is obviously strategically placed to cover up the carpet stains.
• What’s all this weird blue stuff in the bathroom sink. Used toothpaste? I gotta get out of here!
• Did I forget my hand sanitizer?
– Adapted from BuzzFeed.com

TINIER TISSUES:
No, it’s not just your imagination. Toilet paper squares are surreptitiously shrinking … getting smaller, thinner, and/or fewer. The reason it’s hard for you to tell: Companies are increasing the size of the inner cardboard tubes, so the rolls still look the same to consumers. The old standard size was a 4½-inch square. Now it’s more like a 4-inch square, a reduction of about 26%. “Consumer Reports” notes that, while bathroom rolls are being downsized, the price has stayed relatively the same. This is important, considering the average person uses 46 sheets of toilet paper a day. (What other products have you noticed getting smaller? Blocks of cheese keep getting thinner all the time, for example.)
– Sourced from “Washington Post”

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• The average speed of a motor vehicle in Manhattan NYC is 7 mph … the same speed as a running possum.
– PopBitch.com
• Yesterday’s Super Bowl XLIX will be the last to feature the event’s signature Roman numerals. Next year, we’ll be introduced to ‘Super Bowl 50′.
– Vox.com

BS CHRONOMETER 02.02.15


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1966 [49] Robert DeLeo, Glen Ridge NJ, rock bassist (Stone Temple Pilots-”Between the Lines”, “Lady Picture Show”)

1977 [38] Shakira (Ripoll), Barranquilla, Columbia, pop singer (f/Wyclef Jean-”Hips Don’t Lie”, “Whenever, Wherever”)  BS FACTOID: Shakira is Arabic for ‘full of grace’.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Crêpe Day” (aka “La Chandeleur”) in France, when the traditional thin pancakes are served, filled with either sweet or savory goodies. On this day it’s customary to hold a coin in one hand and the crêpe pan in the other as you flip the crêpe into the air. If you manage to catch it in the pan, it’s said that your family will be prosperous for the rest of the year.

• “Groundhog Day”, a 128-year tradition that perpetuates the hogwash that a hibernating groundhog prodded from its burrow can forecast 6 more weeks of Winter by seeing its shadow. This annual oddity stems from the Christian celebration of “Candlemas”. An old Scottish poem proclaims, “If Candlemas is fair and clear, there’ll be two winters in the year.” In Mexico, today is known as “Dia de la Candelaria”, a big day for bullfights and festivals.
– Canada’s best known groundhog prognosticator is ‘Wiarton Willie’.
NET: http://www.wiartonwilliefestival.com
– ‘Punxsutawney Phil’ is America’s original forecaster and most famous hog.
NET: http://www.groundhog.org

• “Sled Dog Day”, honoring those tenacious teams of canines that pull together to provide transportation in the snowy North. (A good day to enjoy some ‘mush’!)

• “World Play Your Ukulele Day”, offering uke players a chance to ‘change the world 4 strings at a time’ by playing, sharing, and teaching others to play a mini-guitar. The uke has experienced a surge in popularity of late thanks to several recording artists, including Eddie Vedder and Meghan Trainor.

• “World Wetlands Day”, observed annually since 1997 to raise awareness among governments, non-governmental organizations, and the public at large of the ecological value and benefit of the world’s wetlands. (Formerly known as ‘swamps’.)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2000 [15] Oprah Winfrey’s new female-targeted ‘Oxygen’ TV network debuts (her cable network OWN [Oprah Winfrey Network] debuts in January 2011)

2014 [01] Movie actor Philip Seymour Hoffman (“Capote”, “Hunger Games” series) dies of an accidental drug overdose at age 46 in NYC

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1979 [36] Sid Vicious of punk rock band the Sex Pistols dies of a heroin overdose at a party celebrating … his completion of a detox program

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2004 [11] Swiss tennis player Roger Federer becomes the world’s #1 ranked men’s singles player, a position he will hold for a record 237 weeks

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Full ‘Snow’ Moon
[Wed] Facebook Birthday
[Wed] World Cancer Day
[Thurs] Weather Forecasters Day
[Thurs] World Nutella Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Burn Awareness Week / Children’s Authors & Illustrators Week / International Coaching Week / International Networking Week / Just Say No to PowerPoint Week / Publicity for Profit Week / School Counseling Week / Solo Diners Eat Out Week / Women’s Heart Week

BULL’S BITS


BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 21 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
LEAST POPULAR BS SUPERMARKET CHAINS:
✗ Pick ‘n Lick
✗ Larva Town
✗ Food Crypt
✗ The Expiration Date Grab-Bag
✗ Risky’s
✗ Price Hiker
✗ Bag This!
– First published in “BS” 2012.

METHODS ASIDE FROM GROUNDHOGS TO DETERMINE IF SPRING IS ON THE WAY:
● Toronto Maple Leafs mathematically eliminated from Stanley Cup playoffs.
● Wal-Mart re-labels bags of ‘tire-traction sand’ as ‘sandbox sand’.
● That nice Spring breeze … that’s blowing small cars across the parking lot.
● (Local TV forecaster) switches from tacky wool blazers to tacky polyester blazers.
● Garbage collectors start going topless.
● Look at a calendar, twit!
– First published in “BS” 1998.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
To avoid the flu this Winter, take vitamin C … to Barbados.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Of all the fruits, which has the most calories?
a. Avocado [CORRECT]
b. Banana
c. Clementine
d. Date
– “Fascinating Facts”

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What’s your best sickie excuse? (‘Cause we all could use one on the Monday after Super Bowl.)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: You probably did THIS in the last 24 hours and you’ll do it 1,500 times this year if you’re average.
Answer: Dream.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
What’s fun for other people may not be fun for you … and vice versa.

NOW ON OUR SHEET LIST:
Lisa Smith @ Classic Rock 93 [KZLE] Jonesboro AR; Tolga Uyken @ Yogun Akici Talk Show, Istanbul, Turkey; D’Anthony Monet @ Classic Hits 100.5 [WAFC] Clewiston FL; David Alan @ WBTR Philadelphia PA; Jimmy McBride @ Thunder 104.3 [WZTR] Dahlonega GA; Sharon Stewart @ 105.5 Megarock [WJNG] Johnsonburg PA; Brent Sears @ TheStaticBreaker.com, Brewster NY; and Dana Leslie @ Gold Days Radio, Caulfield, Australia.


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