Thursday, February 2, 2017 – Edition: #5903

Guaranteed 100% Grade A Bull!

★ Oprah Winfrey will be back on TV this Fall, as a special contributor on “60 Minutes” (CBS). The program is adding her familiar face for its 50th season. Executive producer Jeff Fager says her level of integrity sets her apart and makes her a perfect fit for the program. Oprah says she’s excited about the opportunity, quote: “At a time when people are so divided, my intention is … to look at what separates us, and help facilitate real conversations between people from different backgrounds.”
– CBS News
★ New England Patriots receiver Julian Edelman has been lucky enough to spend the last few months with Adriana Lima on his arm. But just as Tom Brady’s most important target is preparing for the biggest game of the year, his Brazilian supermodel squeeze might be getting bored. The evidence for that suggestion is contained in an Instagram comment Lima left on a picture of UFC star Conor McGregor looking seriously suave in a bespoke tuxedo. Lima’s surprising personal comment: the word “Sleek” punctuated by a fist bump emoji. Hmm …
– “The Barstool Rundown”
★ Johnny Depp is suing his former business managers, The Management Group, for $25 million in a fraud lawsuit. But now the company is hitting back with a cross-complaint of their own, saying he has only himself to blame for money frittered away. Among his alleged reckless spending: $75 million on 14 residences, $18 million on a luxury yacht, $30,000 per month on wine, and $3 million to have the ashes of his author-friend Hunter S Thompson blasted from a specially-made cannon.
– “Hollywood Reporter”

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – K Flay (“Crush Me”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – BJ The Chicago Kid (“In My Mind”).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Maren Morris (“Hero”).
• “Nirvanna the Band the Show” (Viceland) – Debut of a weird new mockumentary adapted from a web series. Matt Johnson & Jay McCarrol are a 2-piece Toronto band who dream of playing The Rivoli. But their schemes to make it happen tend to expose their weaknesses.
• “Powerless” (NBC/CTV) – Debut of a new series in which normal people must deal with the collateral damage of superheroes. Stars Vanessa Hudgens, Alan Tudyk, Christina Kirk, and Ron Funches.
• “Superior Donuts” (CBS) – Debut of a new series about a former 1960s radical (Judd Hirsch) who owns a rundown doughnut shop in Chicago and his energetic but troubled young assistant (Jermaine Fowler) who wants to update the establishment. Based on the Broadway show.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Big Sean (“I Decided”, out Friday).
• “Training Day” (CBS/CTV) – Series debut; a follow-up to the 2001 film of the same name, with the story picking up 15 years later. It focuses on corruption in an elite squad of the LAPD. Stars Justin Cornwell & Bill Paxton. Lots of stuff blows up, if you’re into that kind of thing.
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Michael Bolton (“Michael Bolton’s Big Sexy Valentine’s Day Special”, premiering February 7th on Netflix).

• Drake – Tonight-through-Super Bowl Sunday he’s co-hosting a pop-up event called ‘The Ballet’ at Mercy nightclub in Houston TX. Guests include Jeezy, Odell Beckham Jr, DJ Khaled, and Lil Wayne. Single tickets are $40, but each of the 21 VIP sections runs up to $10,000.
• Elton John – David Furnish has been granted British citizenship. The 54-year-old filmmaker, who finally married the 69-year-old musician in 2014 after more than 20 years together, relocated from Canada to Britain almost 30 years ago,
• Lady Gaga – The 30-year-old has been announced as the latest star associated with the famed jeweler Tiffany & Co. She’ll feature in the ‘Legendary Style’ ad campaign for a new jewelry collection called ‘Tiffany Hardwear’.
• Nas – BET network has ordered up an hour-long pilot episode of a TV series entitled “Street Dreams”, charting his rise to fame. “Street Dreams” was the title of his breakthrough 1996 hit.
• Nick Jonas – He tells “Esquire” he’s giving fans ”a piece” of him with his new Creative Recreation shoe line. The 24-year-old is set to unveil his ‘1410’ sneaker collaboration with the company in the near future.
• Pharrell Williams – Seems somebody’s going to have less time to spend in the studio. Pharrell and his wife Helen have just welcomed triplets.
• Rihanna – She’s taking on the iconic role of ‘Marion Crane’, originally played by Janet Leigh in Alfred Hitchcock’s “Psycho”. RiRi guest-stars in the upcoming 5th and final season of TV drama “Bates Motel”, a prequel to the film following the character ‘Norman Bates’ (Freddie Highmore).

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Action Park” – Johnny Knoxville is starring in this amusement park comedy, with production due to begin next month in South Africa. The film follows Knoxville’s character and his friends who have designed and intend to operate a theme park. Knoxville’s last (lame) pic, 2013’s “Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa”, grossed more than $150 million on a $15-million budget.
• “Black Panther” – The now-shooting Marvel superhero film is using South Korean port city Busan as the backdrop for a huge chase scene. The shoot involves some 150 cars, helicopters, and more than 700 people in a car chase involving the protagonist and the villain. The film, starring Chadwick Boseman in the title role, is due to hit screens in February 2018.
• “Pitch Perfect 3” – Rapper Trinidad Jame$ (“All Gold Everything”) has joined the cast of this 3rd installment in the series. He’s playing a member of a vocal group competing against the ‘Barden Bellas’, led by returning stars Anna Kendrick and Rebel Wilson. Hailee Steinfeld, Anna Camp, Ruby Rose, and Brittany Snow are also appearing. Filming is underway in Atlanta GA.
• “Small Great Things” – Recent SAG Award-winner Viola Davis is likely to star with Oscar-winning Julia Roberts in this movie adaptation of Jodi Picoult’s novel of the same name. The “New York Times” bestseller deals with a delivery nurse at a Connecticut hospital who is told not to perform check-ups on the newborn baby of a couple who are both white supremacists.
• “Stockholm” – Ethan Hawke is joining Noomi Rapace in this new heist thriller. Based on a true story, the film centers on a group of 1970s bank robbers who take hostages at a Swedish bank. The hostages eventually bond with their captors against the police (the source of the term ‘Stockholm Syndrome’). Shooting is due to begin in April.

A child’s best friend is the family pet, a new study suggests. Not only do kids report getting more satisfaction from relationships with the dog or cat than their brothers and sisters, they also get along better with the four-legged friend. The fact that pets cannot understand or talk back may be a benefit as it means they are completely non-judgmental, suggests a Cambridge University study. The research is the latest to suggest that pets may have a major influence on child development, aiding kids’ well-being and social skills. All in all, it’s thought the benefits youngsters derive from their pets may well support psychological well-being later in life. (Does this explains why your wife treats you like a dog?)
– “Medical XPress”

Fish can’t talk … so they pee instead. For common freshwater angelfish called cichlids, urination is a form of communication. Scientists studying the fish say they clearly use their fins to communicate visually, but also give off chemical signals with urine. In experiments where a barrier is placed between them, smaller fish appear to get urine signals from larger fish. Both smaller and larger fish also pee more when presented with another fish than when they are on their own. Even though the findings seem consistent, the researchers say they’re only beginning to understand this form of communication. (Among humans, urination is also a form of communication … in the snow.)
– “Science”

Most of us will sadly never get with a Hollywood celebrity. However, a new Sleep Cupid poll of 6,000 people asks which A-listers we’d most want to hook up with …
1. Kim Kardashian West
2. Scarlett Johansson
3. Mila Kunis
4. Ariana Grande
5. Beyoncé Knowles-Carter
1. George Clooney
2. Johnny Depp
3. Denzel Washington
4. Robert Downey Jr
5. Leonardo DiCaprio

Baldies rejoice! Bald guys are seen as more dominant, a new study claims. Stats show that by age 35 around 66% of men lose a considerable amount of hair; and by 55 about 85% of men have significant hair-loss. Scientists from Barry University in Florida have set to find out why the baldness trait hasn’t been bred out of humans yet. They’ve found that generally speaking, people perceive bald dudes as more honest, intelligent, and dominant, which are obviously all good things. Although baldness decreases perceived physical attractiveness just a touch, previous studies have shown that women are also very attracted to signs of high social dominance. (Would you rather be a pretty boy with a full head of hair or a highly intelligent, dominant boss who everyone respects?)
– “Maxim”

Last Saturday, Brit runner Ron Hill took a break for the first time in 19,032 days. That’s right, the 78-year-old had run at least 1 mile every day since December 20, 1964 … a streak of 52 years and 39 days. Overall, Hill ran more than 160,000 miles (including some 115 marathons), enough to circle the globe 6 times. After feeling pain his chest during his daily run on January 28th, he decided it was time to hang up his running shoes – at least for now – for the sake of his family and friends. (Phew! Maybe you should bury those stinky shoes, dude.)
– “The Telegraph”

• Dogs’ preferred musical genres are reggae and soft rock.
– “BBC News Magazine”
• Sharks have actually been around longer than trees. Sharks showed up about 400 million years ago while trees came into the picture about 350 million years ago.


1966 [51] Robert DeLeo, Glen Ridge NJ, rock bassist (Stone Temple Pilots-“Between the Lines”, “Lady Picture Show”)

1977 [40] Shakira (Ripoll), Barranquilla, Columbia, pop singer (f/Wyclef Jean-“Hips Don’t Lie”, “Whenever, Wherever”) BS FACTOID: Shakira is Arabic for ‘full of grace’.

1988 [29] Zosia Mamet, Randolph VT, TV actress (‘Shoshanna Shapiro’ on “Girls” since 2012) BS FACTOID: The 6th and final season of “Girls” debuts February 12th on HBO.

• “Crêpe Day” (aka “La Chandeleur”) in France, when the traditional thin pancakes are served, filled with either sweet or savory goodies. On this day it’s customary to hold a coin in one hand and the crêpe pan in the other as you flip the crêpe into the air. If you manage to catch it in the pan, it’s said that your family will be prosperous for the rest of the year.

• “Groundhog Day”, a 130-year tradition that perpetuates the hogwash that a hibernating groundhog prodded from its burrow can forecast 6 more weeks of Winter by seeing its shadow. This annual oddity stems from the Christian celebration of “Candlemas”. An old Scottish poem proclaims, “If Candlemas is fair and clear, there’ll be two winters in the year.” In Mexico, today is known as “Dia de la Candelaria”, a big day for bullfights and festivals.
– Canada’s best known groundhog prognosticator is ‘Wiarton Willie’.
– ‘Punxsutawney Phil’ is America’s original forecaster and most famous hog.

• “Sled Dog Day”, honoring those tenacious teams of canines that pull together to provide transportation in the snowy North. (A good day to enjoy some ‘mush’!)

• “World Play Your Ukulele Day”, offering uke players a chance to ‘change the world 4 strings at a time’ by playing, sharing, and teaching others to play the mini-guitar.

• “World Wetlands Day”, the 20th annual observed since 1997 to raise awareness among governments, non-governmental organizations, and the public at large of the ecological value and benefit of the world’s wetlands. (Formerly known as ‘swamps’.)

2014 [03] Movie actor Philip Seymour Hoffman (“Capote”, “Hunger Games”) dies of an accidental heroin overdose at age 46 in NYC

2008 [09] Citing “family and personal commitments”, Spice Girls announce they’ll cut short their reunion tour in Toronto ON, axing shows in Beijing, Sydney, Cape Town, and Buenos Aires (“family and personal commitments” = empty seats)

2011 [06] The White Stripes break up, “to preserve what is beautiful and special about the band and have it stay that way”

2014 [03] At Super Bowl 48 in East Rutherford NJ, Seattle Seahawks beat Denver Broncos 43-8, the 1st NFL championship for the Seahawks in their 40-year history

2004 [13] Swiss tennis player Roger Federer becomes the #1 ranked men’s singles player, a position he holds for a record 237 weeks (the now-35-year-old has rebounded to #10, thanks to his win at the 2017 Australian Open)

[Fri] “Rings”; “The Space Between Us” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Wear Red Day
[Sat] Facebook Birthday
[Sat] World Cancer Day
[Sun] Super Bowl 51 (Houston TX)
[Sun] Dump Your Significant Jerk Day
This Week Is … Catholic Schools Week
This Month Is … Jobs in Golf Month


• Cat … A lap-warmer with a built-in buzzer.
• Doppler Effect … The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
• Dumbwaiter … One who asks if your kids would care to order dessert.
• Epitaph … A postponed compliment.
• Eternity … The last 2 minutes of a football (or basketball) game.
• Impregnable … A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
• Puddle … A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
• Rigid Economy … A dead Scotsman.
• Sex Addict … Anyone who is having more fun than you.
• SQWERTY … Computer keyboard sized down for use by children.

They say you shouldn’t say anything about the dead unless it’s good. He’s dead. Good.

☎ Is (was) your Mom (Dad) as hot as you?

Question: 42% of women say they’d rather not ask a man to do THIS but will if they have to.
Answer: Zip up a dress.

A clear conscience is a soft pillow.

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