Friday, February 2, 2018 – Edition: #6149

Guaranteed 100% Grade A Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Wendy Williams seems to know a lot about…everything. She just slammed Donald Trump and his wife Melania Trump’s marriage. When discussing the President’s State of the Union address, Williams veered off-topic, touching on Trump’s alleged affair with adult film star Stormy Daniels, before turning her attention to Melania Trump. Quote: “All she wanted was a green card and a baby and look at what has happened… I wonder if they’ll get a divorce once he leaves the White House, then again, why? — I’m sure it’s a marriage of convenience.”
-CelebrityInsider
★ Jim Carrey has been cleared of wrongdoing in connection with the death of his girlfriend.  After Cathriona White killed herself in September 2015, her family sued Carrey for wrongful death, claiming that he gave White three sexually transmitted diseases and also accused him of acquiring the prescription drugs White used to commit suicide by using a fake name. But the lawsuits, filed by White’s husband, Mark Burton, and mother, Brigid Sweetman, were dismissed Jan. 25.
-MSN
★ Diane Lane and Greg Kinnear have joined the cast of ‘House Of Cards’. The pair have been cast as siblings for the sixth and final season of the hit Netflix series. Production on the show has just resumed, following a lengthy shutdown in the wake of sexual misconduct allegations against star Kevin Spacey. Showrunners have reworked the final season to revolve around ‘Claire’, the wife of Spacey’s character, Frank Underwood.
-ContactMusic
★ It seems as though it is time for Jesus to return. Jim Caviezel has revealed in a new interview that he plans to reprise his ‘Jesus’ character in an upcoming sequel to ‘The Passion of the Christ’. Director Mel Gibson announced plans for a sequel to the 2004 film several years ago, but we haven’t heard much about it lately. Although controversial, the original film earned $611 million at the worldwide box office, sparking a wave of independent, faith-based films.
-CelebrityInsider
★ Disgraced star Bill Cosby is reportedly struggling with huge debts and in order to pay back what he owes, he is shooting a reality TV show. He’s been spotted in Philadelphia at a restaurant with an entire crew and staff alongside. One eyewitness reported that, “The restaurant was closed, but some folks were hired to pretend they were customers and tell Cosby how much they love him on camera.” (So not much ‘reality’ in this reality show, huh?)
-CelebrityInsider
★ ‘Ghostbusters’ star Leslie Jones is joining NBC to cover the 2018 Winter Olympics in South Korea. She has officially joined the American broadcaster for its games coverage, starting February 9. NBC Olympics production and programming president Jim Bell said: ”Experiencing the Olympics through the lens of Leslie is unlike anything else.” (Is there an event called ‘Sliming’?)
-ContactMusic

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Viola Davis, Lil Rel Howery, LANCO ( R )
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): James Spader, Camila Cabello, Pete Lee ( R )
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Uma Thurman
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Michael Che, Colin Jost, Jack Antonoff, Ashley McBryde, Brann Dailor ( R )
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Gillian Anderson, Sally Hawkins, Daya ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Sen. Rand Paul
• “The Talk” (CBS): Dr. Phil McGraw, Anthony Rapp
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Greg Kinnear, Ato Essandoh, Donald Driver
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Jennifer Aniston
• “Child Support” (ABC): Five To Survive. Young kids help adults answer trivia questions for a chance to win a large cash prize.
SATURDAY-
• “My Secret Valentine” (HALLMARK): A woman takes advice from chalkboard notes left by a mysterious house-rental tenant when she worries that her father might sell their family’s beloved winery.
• “NFL Honors” (NBC): National Football League’s annual awards show recognizing the NFL’s best players, performances and plays from the current season.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Natalie Portman with musical guest Dua Lipa.
SUNDAY-
• “Superbowl LII” (NBC/CTV): Philadelphia Eagles vs. New England Patriots from U.S. Bank Stadium in Minneapolis, which last hosted in 1992. Justin Timberlake performs at halftime.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Justin Timberlake – the Parents Television Council is urging him to make sure his Super Bowl halftime show is “safe for the children watching”. (BS translation: “We don’t want to be hearing the word ‘nipple’ for the next year like last time…)
• Ed Sheeran – he and rapper Devlin’s cover of ‘All Along the Watchtower’ is used in a Super Bowl commercial that doubles as a trailer for the upcoming Amazon spy series “Jack Ryan”.
• Taylor Swift – David Mueller, the radio DJ found guilty of groping her during a meet-and-greet in 2013, has a new gig, co-hosting a show on a Greenwood, Mississippi radio station. The hiring was met with backlash on social media.
• Lorde – After being snubbed at the Grammys, she took out a full-page ad in a New Zealand newspaper to thank everyone for “believing in female musicians.” (EXCEPT for the Recording Academy?)
• Paul Simon – has announced his ‘final show’. “Homeward Bound: The Farewell Performance” will take place July 15 on the final night of the British Summer Time festival in London’s Hyde Park. James Taylor and Bonnie Raitt will also appear.
• Elton John – The Grammy salute to Elton was recorded this week. “Elton John: I’m Still Standing”, featuring Lady Gaga, Miranda Lambert, Ed Sheeran, Miley Cyrus and more, will air April 10 on CBS.
• Meat Loaf – says that back problems have prevented him from singing for a year, and he may never be able to perform again. The 70 year-old gets around with a walker, and surgery hasn’t helped. According to him, “You use everything to sing, and I just cannot do it.”
• Jimmie Allen – the newcomer may be the best feel-good story since fans learned of Shania Twain’s hard luck beginnings. In a new docu-series called ‘Jimmie Allen All In’, he recalls, “I went a day or two without food. I remember a guy gave me a dollar and I…got a McChicken from McDonald’s…I ate half on Wednesday and the other half on Thursday.”
• Carrie Underwood – her hubby Mike Fisher has announced that he is coming out of retirement to return to the NHL’s Nashville Predators. The 37 year-old hung up his skates at the end of last season.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Winchester” (PG-13, Drama/Mystery): An eccentric firearm heiress believes she is haunted by the souls of people killed by the Winchester repeating rifle. (Helen Mirren, Sarah Snook, Jason Clarke)
• “The Cage Fighter” (Not Rated, Action/Adventure): A blue-collar family man breaks the promise he’d made to never fight again. Now forty years old, with a wife and four children, Joe Carman risks everything to go back into the fighting cage and come to terms with his past. (Vernon Beach, Callie Carman)
• “Scorched Earth” (R-Rated, Action/Adventure): A bounty hunter named Atticus Gage tracks down criminals in a post-apocalyptic Earth. (Gina Carano, John Hannah)
• “Braven” (R-Rated, Action/Adventure): A logger defends his family from a group of dangerous drug runners. (Jason Momoa, Jill Wagner)
• “Lies We Tell” (Not Rated, Mystery/Suspense): A trusted driver must deal with his dead boss’ Muslim mistress, her dark past pulling him into a life-and-death showdown with her notorious gangster cousin/ex-husband. (Gabriel Byrne, Sibylla Deen)

BARNYARD GATES:
Yes, Bill Gates is a very philanthropic man. His willingness to donate to various causes and positive initiatives is legendary. In fact, he has given away so much money that he is no longer the richest man in the world. But he’s still rich. Rich enough to invest $40 million toward coming up with a better cow. Yes, Bill Gates has made another huge stride toward his goal of ridding the world of poverty by sinking $40 million, through his ‘Gates Foundation’, into a plan to create a “super cow” that can produce more milk. The project extracts genes from British cattle and infuses them with DNA from African breeds to create a cow that can survive and produce anywhere. British Holstein-Friesians breed cattle can produce up to 40 pints of milk per day, while African cows can only make three and a half, but can withstand intense heat and get by on much less food. This investment could be a game-changer for the 750 million people in low- and middle-income countries who depend on livestock farming.
(Well, you do want to milk it for all its worth!)
(So, like a cash-cow?)
(See, to me, a ‘super cow’ would be one that scoops its own poop!)
-Reuters

WHAT’RE THE ODDS?
According to stats released by the American Gaming Association, there will be about $138.5 million worth of betting on Sunday’s Super Bowl. Does that sound a bit low? Well, that’s just betting of the LEGAL kind. They figure that nationwide, about $4.6 billion worth of ILLEGAL betting will go down. That’s right. Only 3% of wagering done on the Super Bowl will be legal.
The Gaming Association points out that this would not be the case if the government passed legislation which would make sports betting legal, and “put the illegal sports betting market out of business”. That’s right…that office pool that you threw $20 into? Federal offence!
(And we’re betting they might have something to gain by making this suggestion?)
(Great idea. But I’m not going to be the one to tell my bookie about this!)
-AmericanGamingAssociation

HOMER SIMPSON’S D’OH!s…BY THE NUMBERS:
• Total D’oh!s: 1130 (28 seasons)
• Most in a season: 100 (season 4)
• Longest time between D’oh!s: 272 days (Dec 20, 1994-Sept 17, 1995)
• Average screen time between D’oh!s: 12 minutes
• Year D’oh was accepted into the Oxford English Dictionary: 2001
-MentalFloss

BS CHRONOMETER 02.02.18

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1953 [65] Duane ‘Dog’ Chapman, Denver CO, reality star (“Dog the Bounty Hunter” 2003-2012, “Dog and Beth: On the Hunt” 2013)

1954 [64] Christie Brinkley, Monroe MI, model (spent 25 years as the face of “CoverGirl” cosmetics, ex-wife of singer Billy Joel)

1966 [52] Robert DeLeo, Glen Ridge NJ, rock bassist (Stone Temple Pilots-‘Plush’, ‘Lady Picture Show’)

1977 [41] Shakira (Ripoll), Barranquilla, Columbia, pop singer (f/Wyclef Jean-‘Hips Don’t Lie’, ‘Whenever, Wherever’) BS FACTOID: Shakira is Arabic for ‘full of grace’.

1988 [30] Zosia Mamet, Randolph VT, TV actress (‘Shoshanna Shapiro’ on “Girls” 2012-2017)

SATURDAY-
1956 [62] Nathan Lane, Jersey City NJ, Broadway actor (“The Producers”, “Guys & Dolls”)/movie actor (“Swing Vote”, “The Birdcage”)

1965 [53] Maura Tierney, Boston MA, TV actress (‘Helen Solloway’ on “The Affair” since 2014, “The Good Wife” 2012-13)/movie actress (“Baby Mama”, “Semi-Pro”)

1976 [42] Isla [‘EYE-luh’] Fisher, Muscat, Oman, movie actress (“Rise Of the Guardians”, “Wedding Crashers”)/wed to comedian-actor Sacha Baron Cohen since 2010

1990 [28] Sean Kingston (Kisean Anderson), Miami FL, reggae-pop singer/rapper (‘Fire Burning’, ‘Beautiful Girls’)

SUNDAY-
Classic rocker Alice Cooper is 70; Rock bassist Duncan Coutts (Our Lady Peace) is 49; Rock bassist Rick Burch (Jimmy Eat World) is 43; Pop singer Gavin DeGraw is 41

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Groundhog Day”, a 132-year tradition that perpetuates the hogwash that a hibernating groundhog prodded from its burrow can forecast 6 more weeks of Winter by seeing its shadow. This annual oddity stems from the Christian celebration of “Candlemas”. An old Scottish poem proclaims, “If Candlemas is fair and clear, there’ll be two winters in the year.” In Mexico, today is known as “Dia de la Candelaria”, a big day for bullfights and festivals.
– Canada’s best known groundhog prognosticator is ‘Wiarton Willie’.
– ‘Punxsutawney Phil’ is America’s original forecaster and most famous hog.
NET: http://www.groundhog.org

• “Crêpe Day” (aka “La Chandeleur”) in France, when the traditional thin pancakes are served, filled with either sweet or savory goodies. On this day it’s customary to hold a coin in one hand and the crêpe pan in the other as you flip the crêpe into the air. If you manage to catch it in the pan, it’s said that your family will be prosperous for the rest of the year.

• “Winterlude” through February 19, the 40th annual, celebrating the season outdoors in Canada’s capital region of Ottawa-Gatineau. Highlights include ice sculptures, a playground made of snow, and best of all, the Rideau Canal, touted as the World’s Longest Skating Rink.
NET: http://www.canadascapital.gc.ca/celebrate/winterlude

• “Sled Dog Day”, honoring those tenacious teams of canines that pull together to provide transportation in the snowy North. (A good day to enjoy some ‘mush’!)

• “World Play Your Ukulele Day”, offering uke players a chance to ‘change the world 4 strings at a time’ by playing, sharing, and teaching others to play the mini-guitar.

• “World Wetlands Day”, observed since 1997 to raise awareness among governments, non-governmental organizations, and the public at large of the ecological value and benefit of the world’s wetlands. (Formerly known as ‘swamps’.)

SATURDAY-
• “Carrot Cake Day”, saluting an idea hatched in the Middle Ages. At that time, sugar and other sweeteners were rare and very expensive, so people used sweet vegetables for flavor.

• “Ice Cream for Breakfast Day”, a tongue-in-cheek holiday on the 1st Saturday of February intended to brighten up the dreary days of Winter.

• “Take Your Child to the Library Day”, the 7th annual event when many libraries plan special family-oriented events.

SUNDAY-
• “Dump Your Significant Jerk Day”, the focal point of “Dump Your Significant Jerk Week”, when you’re encouraged to terminate your jerk relationship before “Valentine’s Day”, thereby saving the money and awkwardness involved in faking romance.

• “World Cancer Day”, an annual observance to encourage prevention, detection, and treatment of cancer. It’s led by the International Union Against Cancer, a global consortium of more than 280 cancer-fighting organizations in over 90 countries.
• “Superbowl Sunday”, The Super Bowl is one of the most beloved events in the USA. A lot of hype comes every year for this day filled with barbecues, big-budget TV commercials, and of course a football game. Let’s take a look at some of the fun facts and trivia that you should know about before you go to a Super Bowl Party:
➠8 million pounds of guacamole is consumed on Super Bowl Sunday
➠14,500 tons of chips are eaten along with that guacamole
➠The Super Bowl is measured in Roman numerals because a football season runs over two calendar years
➠Over 700,000 footballs are produced annually for official NFL use and 72 of them are used for the Super Bowl
➠Of the top 10 most watched American television programs of all time, nine of them are Super Bowls (the other? The M*A*S*H* finale in 1983)
➠Super Bowl 49 – New England Patriots vs. Seattle Seahawks – was the most-watched sporting event in the U.S. history, with an estimated 114.4 million viewers.
➠One 30-second commercial aired during this year’s Super Bowl will cost $5 million.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2014 [04] Movie actor Philip Seymour Hoffman (“Capote”, “Hunger Games”) dies of an accidental heroin overdose at age 46 in NYC

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1993 [25] Willie Nelson settles his $17 million tax debt with the US Internal Revenue Service by paying them nine million dollars in cash and assets already seized

2008 [10] Citing “family and personal commitments”, Spice Girls announce they’ll cut short their reunion tour in Toronto ON, axing shows in Beijing, Sydney, Cape Town, and Buenos Aires (“family and personal commitments” = empty seats)

2011 [07] The White Stripes break up, “to preserve what is beautiful and special about the band and have it stay that way”

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2014 [04] At Super Bowl 48 in East Rutherford NJ, Seattle Seahawks beat Denver Broncos 43-8, the 1st NFL championship for the Seahawks in their 40-year history

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2004 [14] Swiss tennis player Roger Federer becomes the #1 ranked men’s singles player, a position he holds for a record 237 weeks (the now-36-year-old is currently ranked #2)

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK TOM BRADY FACTS:
✓ Dr. Dre spent $40 million to buy the Brady family mansion in California in 2014, when they relocated to Massachusetts.
✓ He once refused to autograph a picture because his throwing mechanics looked off in the photo.
✓ His first film appearance was in the 2003 film Stuck On You. His role? “Computer Geek # 1.”
✓ He once yelled at a QB in a charity game for “not hustling”.
✓ His favorite treat is avocado ice cream.
✓ He plans his life to such an extent that he ‘knows’ he will retire when he is 48.
-Factinate

METHODS ASIDE FROM GROUNDHOGS TO DETERMINE IF SPRING IS ON THE WAY:
• Minnesota Timberwolves mathematically eliminated from NBA playoffs.
• Wal-Mart re-labels bags of ‘tire-traction sand’ as ‘sandbox sand’.
• That nice Spring breeze … that’s blowing small cars across the parking lot.
• (Local TV forecaster) switches from tacky wool blazers to tacky polyester blazers.
• Garbage collectors start going topless.
• Look at a calendar, twit!
– First published in “BS” 1998.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
My wife left me because she says I was obsessed with football. I was shocked. I mean we were together for 5 ½ seasons…

BS PHONE STARTER:
• What’s your best sickie excuse? (‘Cause we all could use one on the Monday after Super Bowl.)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 68% of people say they get annoyed if they have to wait more than 60 seconds for this. What is it?
Answer: An elevator

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.


Printer Friendly Version