Tuesday, February 22, 2011        Edition: #4447
Get a Load of This Sheet!

Actress Jennifer Aniston is hoping to celebrate her 42nd year with a $42-million windfall generated by the sale of her newly-listed Beverly Hills CA estate (only screened potential buyers get to view the property) . . . Journalist Joe Klein is reporting that Glenn Beck is close to being canned by Fox News (is it possible he’s not bombastic enough?) . . . Producers of “Anna Nicole”, a controversial opera chronicling the life of late model Anna Nicole Smith, are facing a potential lawsuit for staging the show at London’s Royal Opera House without permission from her estate (they should at least be sued for bad taste) . . . 45-year-old actress Sarah Jessica Parker tells “Los Angeles Times” she’s considering a 3rd “Sex & The City” movie but fans will have to wait at least 5 years for it (so basically this is an early warning?) . . . 57-year-old actor Tim Allen, best known for the sitcom “Home Improvement” (1991-99), has signed on to star in a new comedy pilot for ABC-TV tentatively titled “The Last Days of Man”, about a guy ‘struggling for his manhood’ in a world dominated by women (can they show a guy actually ‘struggling for his manhood’ on broadcast TV?) . . . “Glee” star Dianna Agron (‘Quinn Fabray’) has reportedly split with her Brit actor-boyfriend Alex Pettyfer, moving out of the home they shared (just 2 weeks ago, the rumor was they were getting married) . . . And after several failed attempts at remaining in show biz, 33-year-old Jon Gosselin (former star of “Jon & Kate Plus 8” on TLC) has become a construction worker, installing solar panels on roofs for Pennsylvania-based company Greene Pointe Energy (proving sometimes life works out exactly the way it should).

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Jason Aldean (“My Kinda Party”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Kelly Clarkson (“All I Ever Wanted”); and in another appearance Jason Aldean (“My Kinda Party”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Cake (“Showroom of Compassion”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Menomena (“Mines”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Destroyer (“Kaputt”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Deerhunter (“Halcyon Digest”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – 30 Seconds To Mars (“This Is War”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Anberlin (“Dark Is the Way, Light Is a Place”).

• Ja Rule – In what’s become de rigeur for troubled rappers, he’s been filming an as-yet-untitled reality TV series with his family to document his life before he begins a prison sentence. He’s due to serve 2 years after pleading guilty to a gun charge relating to a 2007 arrest in NYC.
• Jonas Bros – Joe Jonas gave actress-girlfriend Ashley Greene (“Twilight Saga”) a gold Chanel bracelet for her birthday. She turned 24 yesterday.
• Justin Bieber – Domenico Dolce & Stefano Gabbana say they are very happy to dress the 16-year-old pop star in their upscale Dolce & Gabbana duds because he represents ‘the epitome of the new generation of music talents’. (Which they read very well from the cue card.)
• Lady Gaga – She says she’d love to see actress Marisa Tomei (“The Wrestler”) play her if a biopic was ever to be made because they have a lot of the same traits, being New Yorkers with a fiery attitude. (One big difference: Gag’s 24; Tomei’s 46.)
• R Kelly – The first band he was in was called MGM (Musically Gifted Men).

• “Due Date” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Robert Downey Jr plays an expectant father racing across the country to be home in time for his child’s birth, but his meticulous plans are hampered by an oddball man-child (Zach Galifianakis). Co-stars Michelle Monaghan, Juliette Lewis, Jamie Foxx.
• “Get Low” ( PG-13 Dramedy ): Robert Duvall stars as a hermit who, after living alone in the Tennessee woods for 40 years, decides to plan his own funeral. Co-stars Bill Murray, Sissy Spacek. Based on a true story.
• “Stieg Larsson’s Dragon Tattoo Trilogy” ( R-Rated Compilation ): All 3 films (“The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo,” “The Girl Who Played With Fire”, “The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest”) in Swedish w/subtitles. A Hollywood version of the first story hits theaters December 21st.
• Also released today: “Car 54, Where Are You?: The Complete 1st Season” (Vintage TV); “Eddie Griffin: You Can Tell ‘Em I Said It” (Comedy); “Last Train Home” (Documentary); “Les Miserables: The 25th Anniversary Concert”; “Nurse Jackie: Season 2” (TV); “Timmy Time: Timmy Steals the Show” (Animation); and “Two In the Wave” (Documentary).

According to the Global Study of Sexual Attitudes & Behaviors, Brazil tops the list of countries where 40-to-80-year-olds have sex at least once a week, with an impressive 75% participation rate. Italy, France, and Australia tie for 2nd at 69%. The USA ties the UK at 59%. Japan ranks last, as just 21% of so-called ‘mature citizens’ get physical weekly. Older Spaniards and Belgians topped the list of those claiming they enjoy sex at least … once-a-day. (Canadians lead the list of those who’ve made love in a canoe … while wearing a snowmobile suit.)
– PA News

• As of this month, YouTube has 490 million unique users worldwide monthly, who rack up an estimated 92 billion page-views. We collectively spend around 2.9 billion hours on YouTube in a month … over 325,000 years. And those stats are just for the main YouTube website. They don’t incorporate embedded videos or video watched on mobile devices.
• The founding trio didn’t come up with the YouTube concept right away. Legend has it YouTube began life as a video dating site dubbed ‘Tune In Hook Up’, said to be influenced by ‘HotorNot’. The inspiration for YouTube as we know it today is credited to 2 different events: The inability to find online footage of Janet Jackson’s infamous Super Bowl ‘wardrobe malfunction’; and the founders’ desire to share video footage of a dinner party.
• Social media-related YouTube stats are just as impressive. YouTube says that on average there are more than 400 tweets per minute on Twitter containing a YouTube link. Meanwhile, over on Facebook over 150 years worth of YouTube videos are watched every single day.
• YouTube has a fun Easter egg that will let you play a “Snake”-esque game within the video window. To find it, go to YouTube, click on a recent video from any category, pause it, then hit the ‘left’ and ‘up’ arrow keys at the same time. Voila!
– Mashable.com

As many as 65% of expectant fathers report experiencing at least one symptom of pregnancy, studies show. It’s estimated that more than 20% of expectant dads have actually sought medical care because of it. Scientists have now shown that normal, healthy men often undergo real bodily changes when they’re expecting children. What for years we’ve considered to be a disorder of the mind is actually a natural physiological reaction to impending fatherhood. Researchers say that’s because men’s hormones begin to swing when they are expecting a baby … often in sync with their wives’ hormonal changes. (Man, that morning sickness is a killer.)
– PLOS.org

TV’s Dr Oz shares some of his favorite (and little-known) weight-loss tips …
• Snack on Pickles – “Jersey Shore’s” Snooki is onto something! The acidity in these crunchy veggies can kill sugar cravings. It sounds strange but when the 3 pm urge to hit the vending machine strikes, try reaching for a pickle instead.
• Sip on Banaba Leaf Tea – This tea (yes, it’s banaba, not banana) hasn’t gotten much attention yet, but it’s gaining popularity thanks to its ability to lower blood sugar. Why is that a good thing? Too-high blood sugar can lead to weight-gain and, in extreme cases, even diabetes.
• Swap Tonic Water/Club Soda for Seltzer – Many assume these 3 sips are similar, but tonic is high in sugar (120 calories/serving) and club soda is often high in added salt. Stick to seltzer, which has a similar taste but is the closest to drinking plain old water.
– Condensed from Cosmopolitan.com

Forgive and forget, the old saying goes. But a new University of Tennessee study suggests that’s not always a great idea. Why? Spouses who are forgiven for negative behaviors are more likely to keep repeating them. In fact, the research finds that spouses who forgive their partners are almost twice as likely to report a repeated incident the following day as those who hold a grudge. So what to do? An expert in family therapy suggests spouses should confront negative behaviors and deal with the causes behind them before forgiving their spouses.
– “Knoxville News Sentinel”

• At General Motors’ research lab in Detroit MI, scientists are investigating how a vehicle might make up for our physical shortcomings by enhancing drivers’ senses. They are developing a prototype windshield called the ‘Advanced Vision System’ which they hope will give drivers a kind of ‘superhuman’ vision. (Enabling to more clearly see how much over the speed limit you’re going.)
– BBC News Magazine
• Demeter Fragrance Library offers a body scent that will take you back to your childhood. Yes, grown-up kids, you can be the hit of your adult playground with the yummy new ‘Play-Doh Cologne’. Other unusual aromas offered by this company include ‘Glue’, ‘Laundromat’, and – mmm – ‘Saddle’.
NET: http://bit.ly/UUmrB
– Neatorama.com
• Lonely astronauts on the International Space Station may soon be getting an android friend from Japan. That country’s space agency, JAXA, is looking at sending a humanoid robot to the station in 2013. It would watch the mission while astronauts are asleep, monitor their health and stress levels, and communicate with Earth through Twitter. It would also provide astronauts with ‘comfort and companionship’. (Get your hand off my knee, Hal.)
– AP

Sharks launched 79 unprovoked attacks on humans in 2010, the highest number in a decade. But the rate of attacks is not necessarily going up – population is rising and the interest in aquatic recreation is growing. That means more people-food swimming in the ocean.
– BBC News


1959 [52] Kyle MacLachlan, Yakima WA, TV actor (‘Orson Hodge’ on “Desperate Housewives” 2006-11, “Sex & the City” 2000-02)

1967 [44] Paul Lieberstein, Westport CT, TV actor (‘Toby Flenderson’ on “The Office” since 2005)

1968 [43] Jeri Ryan (Zimmerman), Munich, Germany, TV actress (“Leverage” since 2009, “Shark” 2006-08, “Boston Public” 2001-04, “Star Trek: Voyager” 1997-2001)

1974 [37] James Blunt, Tidworth UK, pop singer (“1973”, “You’re Beautiful”)

1975 [36] Drew Barrymore, Culver City CA, movie actress (“Grey Gardens”, “50 First Dates”)/film director-producer (“Whip It”)

1979 [32] Tom Higgenson, Villa Park IL, pop singer (Plain White T’s-“1,2,3,4”, “Hey There Delilah”)

1985 [26] Zach Roerig, Montpelier OH, TV actor (‘Matt Donovan’ on “The Vampire Diaries” since 2009)

• “Be Humble Day”. Just for one day try not to brag or to boast; and try not to talk about your success or accomplishments. Why? Because humility is a good thing.

• “Single Tasking Day”, a day to focus on one project at a time. Studies show you’ll likely end up accomplishing more.

• “Spay Day USA”, an annual campaign on the last Tuesday of February by Humane Society International to inspire people to save animal lives by spaying or neutering pets and feral cats.
NET: http://www.humanesociety.org/issues/spay_day

• “World Thinking Day”, an annual celebration of Girl Scouts/Girl Guides founders Lord & Lady Baden-Powell’s joint birthday. Scouts & Guides are encouraged to ‘think’ of good deeds. Many will wear their uniforms to school today (if you remind them).

1949 [62] The debut of ‘Modern Professional Wrestling’ as Gorgeous George beats Ernie Dusek at NYC’s Madison Square Garden using fake moves and lots of other razzamatazz

1989 [22] “Grammy Awards” reach a whole new low by citing Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry Be Happy” as both ‘Best Record’ & ‘Best Song’; lip-sync scammers Milli Vanilli as ‘Best New Artist’; and Jethro Tull as the 1st-ever winner of the ‘Heavy Metal Award’

1992 [19] Rockers Kurt Cobain (Nirvana) & Courtney Love (Hole) get married

1959 [52] 1st ‘Daytona 500′ auto race (won by Lee Petty, father of legendary racer Richard Petty)

[Wed] Curling is Cool Day
[Wed] Inconvenience Yourself Day
[Thurs] Introduce a Girl to Engineering Day
[Thurs] Chili Day
[Thurs] Personal Chefs Day
This Week Is … Telecommuter Appreciation Week
This Month Is … Care About Your Indoor Air Month


• The box is perched at the edge of a cliff.
• It is hailing outside the box.
• The box has a working fireplace and a Jacuzzi.
• The box is a mess, you’re expecting company any minute now, and you haven’t even showered.
• You might bump into the shifty guy from the adjacent box who’s always up all night.
• The box came from IKEA and you have to put the damn thing together first.
• It’s the day they’re installing cable in the box, and you don’t know when they’ll show up.
• You’re not paid to think.
– Thanks to Michael Rodman

Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.

• You know what ‘psych!’ means.
• You know that another name for a musical keyboard is a ‘synthesizer’,
• You’ve actually heard of ‘Mr T’.
• You ever wore fluorescent, neon clothing.
• You could breakdance, or wish you could.
• You thought that “Transformers” were ‘more than meets the eye’.
• You owned an ATARI but wanted a Commodore 64.
• You know what leg warmers are and probably had a pair, or once wore bicycle shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish.
• You remember when ‘Happy Meals’ came in a box, not a paper bag.
• You hated ‘Scrappy Doo’.
• You remember the first time you went to a video store to rent a movie.

Among the ancient Incas, brides had to peel a potato to prove they would be a good wife. What would be a good test today? And for a husband?

Today’s Question: More than half of men exaggerate THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Their flu symptoms.

Beware of dark rooms … they might be the morgue.

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