Wednesday, February 22, 2017 – Edition: #5917

Get a Load of This Sheet!

★ Throughout this year’s awards season, presenters and winners have used their podiums to cast their ire at the current political situation. But 49-year-old Oscars host Jimmy Kimmel says he plans to stay away from politics at Sunday night’s awards gala at Hollywood’s Dolby Theater. Kimmel is trying to be a good host for everyone in attendance, and not everyone there may be as liberal as say … Meryl Streep. Kimmel advises that celebs dial it down following her speech at the Golden Globes. Quote: “I think I’d be intimidated by how good Meryl Streep’s speech was, so I’d probably keep my mouth shut.”
– “Hollywood Reporter”
★ Keanu Reeves says he’s keen to bring his ‘John Wick’ character back for another outing and has already been coming up with plot ideas for “John Wick 3”. The 52-year-old Canadian actor-producer has reprised his role as the titular ex-hitman in “John Wick: Chapter 2″ and its success at the box office means another sequel is in the cards. Meanwhile Reeves’ stunt-coordinator-turned-director Chad Stahelski says: ”If we were so lucky to continue the series, I’d like to expand the world maybe another 25% (and) go deeper into the world that people already know another 50%.” (BS translation: We’re running out of people to shoot.)
– “Empire Magazine”
★ Nicole Kidman tells Australia’s “Studio 10” that she turns down work in favor of spending time with her family. The “Big Little Lies” actress says her time has grown increasingly more ”precious” as she’s gotten older and she cherishes the days she has with husband Keith Urban and their daughters Sunday (8) and Faith (6). For that reason she fits in her film projects around the school year. Nicole, who turns 50 this year, also has Isabella (24) and Connor (22) with ex-husband Tom Cruise.
★ 41-year-old director-actress Angelina Jolie is currently in Cambodia promoting her new movie “First They Killed My Father” and has shown her family some of the local delicacies, including crickets, scorpions, and … tarantulas. Angelina first tried insects and arachnids when she adopted her son Maddox from Cambodia as a baby (he’s now 15). Angelina says she prefers eating spiders to scorpions because they have ”good flavor” and are easier to chew. With tarantula, you have to take the fangs out first before tucking in. Another of her kids, 8-year-old Knox, says: ”It tastes like dry flavorless chips.” (Dude, you forgot the tangy venom sauce!)
– Bang Showbiz
★ And TV’s first ‘gender non-binary’ character is being introduced in Sunday’s Season 2 premiere of “Billions” on Showtime. The high-finance drama is focused on the dueling testosterone-soaked worlds of ‘Axe Capital’ hedge fund (led by Damien Lewis’ scheming ‘Bobby Axelrod’) and the Southern District of New York’s US Attorney’s office (commanded by Paul Giamatti’s ‘Charles Rhoades’). The new character is played by Asia Kate Dillon (who also does not identify as either gender). The role of ‘Taylor’ is a hyper-smart rising star intern at ‘Axe Capital’ who disrupts hedge fund world with their unique presence (and yes, ‘they’ is the pronoun, as ‘Taylor’ crisply informs ‘Axelrod’ as they first meet).

• “Brit Awards” (ITV) – Dermot O’Leary & Emma Willis co-host the UK’s annual music honors at London’s O2 Arena. Rihanna, Little Mix, and Skepta lead nominations with 3 apiece. David Bowie and Leonard Cohen are nominated posthumously. Robbie Williams receives the ‘Icon Award’ for outstanding contributions to music. Performers include: Bruno Mars, Ed Sheeran, Emeli Sande, Katy Perry, and The 1975.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – The Head & The Heart (“Signs of Light”). Rerun.
• “Ellen” (syndicated/CTV2) – Demi Lovato (“Confident”).
• “Harry” (syndicated) – Ricky Martin (“A Quien Quiera Escuchar”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Coldplay (“A Head Full of Dreams”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/CTV) – Bebe Rexha (“I Don’t Wanna Grow Up”)/Lionel Richie (“The Definitive Collection”).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Lemon Twigs (“Do Hollywood”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Ariana Grande (“Dangerous Woman”).
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo) – Ricky Martin again.

• The Beatles – Ringo Starr has revealed on social media that Paul McCartney has recently joined him in the studio, along with his brother-in-law Joe Walsh of The Eagles. Ringo is working on his next album release.
• Chris Brown – He’s refused to sign a contract for a proposed boxing match with Soulja Boy, causing the fight to be cancelled. The pair were due to settle personal differences in an organized Pay-Per-View bout. Brown was to be coached by Mike Tyson; Soulja Boy by Floyd Mayweather.
• Cole Swindell – Before he signed his record deal he was just another songwriter sending pitch emails to artists. One of them was the song “Flatliner”, which he sent to Dierks Bentley in 2013. Now Cole’s on tour with Dierks, and his 7th single on country radio has Dierks on it.
• Selena Gomez –She now has a paint color named for her. The 24-year-old singer has teamed up with LA-based Portola Paints & Glazes to develop a rich purple hue called “Revival”, named after her latest album.
• Zac Brown – Today he’s receiving the Country Radio Broadcasters ‘CRS 2017 Artist Humanitarian Award’ at the organization’s annual conference in Nashville TN. Founded in 1990, the honor is presented annually to musicians who use their careers to serve others in need and contribute to the greater good.

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 88% of women polled say it’s important to have a ‘personal rapport’ with their hairstylists.
• 70% of smartphone users admit to having stored content that they wouldn’t want others to see.
• 51% of people who have a sunroof or convertible top have never used them.
• 29% of pet owners have tasted their critter’s food.
• 24% of drivers do not allow other drivers to merge.
• 15% of kids have been grounded in the Winter for throwing a snowball.

Historians still don’t know how Vincent van Gogh lost his left ear, or for that matter, how much of it was actually lopped off. However, online art community Today Is Art Day has decided to take historic liberties in the name of nerdy fun and have created a 5-inch PVC van Gogh action figure … complete with 2 detachable ears. In a new Kickstarter campaign, backers who contribute CDN $28 can score their own mini-van Gogh action figure, which comes in a box decorated with little cut-out replicas of one of his painting “Sunflowers” (1888) and “The Starry Night” (1889). The campaign ends March 16th and orders are being shipped by July.

The limited-edition ‘Peeps Oreo’ is new for this Easter. Marshmallow Peeps bring out strong opinions … some folks love them, some hate them. Some won’t touch the Easter basket staple until they’ve sat around for a few weeks and settled into a tougher, more chewable consistency. But this year, Marshmallow Peeps have run headlong into another sweet treat … Oreo cookies. This new Oreo variety uses the golden vanilla sandwich cookies, not the traditional chocolate, and fills them with a sparkly pink Peep-inspired crême. Easter isn’t until April 16th this year, but the new cookies apparently already debuted last week. (A dental coupon should be enclosed.)

Cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Helveticize’ – To make things bland, boring, or generic. Comes from using the Helvetica font.
• ‘JAM’ (Just About Managing) – Used in the UK to describe people who have just enough money to survive … but nothing more.
• ‘Social Menopause’ – The time in a woman’s life when she no longer wants to stay out late, go to parties etc. And this would be when? Late-20s?

Between all her royal waving and Corgi-walking, one could hardly expect Britain’s 90-year-old Queen Elizabeth II has time to fire off a 140-character commentary on her day to the 2.77 million fans who follow @RoyalFamily on Twitter. Though she did send the account’s first tweet back in 2014, she’s now in need of some social media help. The Royal Household is looking for a ‘Digital Communications Officer’ to manage her social media, as well as her personal website. In addition to an annual salary of $37,500, the job includes a comprehensive benefits package, and 33 days leave. But like a lot of gigs these days, it isn’t permanent; it’s a year-long posting to cover a maternity leave. (But think of all the juicy damage you could do!)
– “Evening Standard”

When asked to describe a perfect partner, most people include the phrase “a good sense of humor”. As it turns out, when we say “good”, we may just mean “exactly like mine”. A new University of Kansas research paper finds that most people just want someone who laughs at the same jokes they do. The analysis of 15,000 participants in 39 different studies about humor in relationships has found that being funny is good, but getting your partner’s jokes is even better. Also important: laughing with your partner, not at them. So be silly but be nice, and look for ways to find some comedic common ground. The research concludes it’s good to have humor; it’s better to see it in your partner; and it’s best to share it. (“This 17-year marriage is a joke.”)
– “Mental Floss”

• Eating a lot of fat is worse for men than women.
– BBC Health
• Honeybees let out a ‘whoop!’ when they bump into each other.
– “New Scientist”


1959 [58] Kyle MacLachlan, Yakima WA, TV actor (‘Dale Cooper’ on “Twin Peaks” 1990-91 and the 2017 reboot, “Agents of “SHIELD” 2014-15)

1969 [48] Clinton Kelly, Panama City, Panama, TV co-host (“The Chew” since 2011, “What Not to Wear” 2003-13)

1974 [43] James Blunt, Tidworth UK, pop singer (“Bonfire Heart”, “You’re Beautiful”)

1975 [42] Drew Barrymore, Culver City CA, TV actress (‘Sheila Hammond’ on “Santa Clarita Diet” 2017, “Grey Gardens” 2009)/movie actress (“50 First Dates”)

1979 [38] Tom Higgenson, Villa Park IL, pop singer (Plain White T’s-“1234”, “Hey There Delilah”)

1985 [32] Zach Roerig, Montpelier OH, TV actor (‘Matt Donovan’ on “The Vampire Diaries” since 2009) BS FACTOID: “The Vampire Diaries” series finalé airs March 10th.

• “Be Humble Day”. Just for one day try not to brag or to boast; and try not to talk about your success or accomplishments. Why? Because humility is a good thing. (Better yet … be “Humble and Kind”.)

• “Cook a Sweet Potato Day”. And the best way to do that? Sweet badayda fries. Mmm!

• “Inconvenience Yourself Day”, observed the 4th Wednesday of February to encourage us to pay attention to our actions, understand how they impact others, and adjust those which have a negative affect on others.

• “Margarita Day”. Tequila, triple sec, lime juice, and ice are everything you’ll need to celebrate … well, that and some good friends. And a tropical beach wouldn’t hurt.

• “Walking the Dog Day”. But wait a minute, don’t you walk your dog just about every day?

• “World Thinking Day”, an annual celebration of Girl Scouts/Girl Guides founders Lord & Lady Baden-Powell’s joint birthday. Scouts & Guides are encouraged to ‘think’ of good deeds.

2015 [02] At the 87th Academy Awards, “Birdman” is awarded ‘Best Picture’; Eddie Redmayne ‘Best Actor’ (“A Theory of Everything”); and Julianne Moore ‘Best Actress’ (“Still Alice”)

2006 [11] Apple’s iTunes store sells it’s 1 billionth song

2012 [05] 5 months after debuting “Call Me Maybe” in her native Canada, Carly Rae Jepsen releases it in America where it hangs around long enough to become the song of the Summer

2014 [03] After her gold medal at Sochi, Norwegian cross-country skier Marit Bjoergen sets a new record for most Winter Olympics medals awarded to a female, with a total of 10

[Thurs] Digital Learning Day
[Thurs] Great American Spit Out
[Fri] “Collide”; “Get Out”; “Rock Dog” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Girl Scout/Guide Cookie Weekend
[Sat] “Independent Spirit Awards” (IFC)
[Sat] Razzie Awards announced (Hollywood CA)
[Sun] “The Oscars” (ABC/CTV)
[Sun] “Daytona 500” (FOX)
This Week Is … Eating Disorders Awareness Week
This Month Is … Mend a Broken Heart Month


• “My Kids Keep Drawing on Our Cave Walls … And I Couldn’t Be Happier!”
• “What I Said Wrong (and Right) when My Son Came Out as a Gatherer”
• “14 Ways the Wheel is Making Our Kids Lazy”
• “Managing Scream Time: Are We Letting Kids Watch Too Many Gladiator Decapitations?”
• “A Letter to My Unmarriable Daughter as She Heads Off to Convent”
• “Overcoming Disappointment When Your Child’s Crusade Fails”
• “To the Woman Staring as I Dumped My Child’s Plague-Ridden Body Into the Street”
• “While Switching to the Gregorian Calendar, Don’t Forget to Schedule Some ‘Me’ Time”
• “Helping Your Son Pick the Indentured Servitude That’s Right for Him”
• “The Simple Trick I Used to Get My Kids Off the Couch and Back Into the Factory”
– Thanks to Pete Lynch

Abandoning my search for truth, I am now looking for a good fantasy.

Which actor is the longest-serving ‘James Bond’, based on the total number of days associated with the role?
a. Sean Connery [3,049 days]
b. Daniel Craig [4,149 days, counting today.]
c. Roger Moore [CORRECT. 5,118 days.]

Which do you think is the toughest sport? (According to “Men’s Fitness”, based on risk of injury and the fitness, intelligence and skill required, the toughest sports are – gymnastics, triathlon, rock climbing, and hockey.)

Question: The average person does THIS 7,600 times in a lifetime.
Answer: Showers.

Never make anything simple and efficient when a way can be found to make it complex and wonderful.

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