Thursday, February 24, 2011        Edition: #4449
Another Sheetload of Bull!

57-year-old actor John Travolta has been spotted on vacation in Hawaii, lounging in a hammock – without his hairpiece on (he should kill that critter – he looks SOOOO much better without it) . . . UK’s Prince William, who’ll wed longtime girlfriend Kate Middleton April 29th, is set to celebrate his bachelor party on the south coast of Britain with a day of watersports, followed by a barbeque & pub crawl (no mention of dancing girls) . . . Tea Party candidate Christine O’Donnell is close to a deal to join the contestant cast on “Dancing With the Stars” (must be witchcraft!) . . . For the first time ever 43-year-old actress Nicole Kidman has been talking about her fertility issues (seems her Oscar campaign is in full swing) . . . Ted ‘Golden Voice’ Williams has inked a deal to star in his very own reality TV show called “Second Chances at Life”, which will document how he went from a promising radio career to living on the streets to becoming a YouTube sensation (it begins shooting in 2 weeks) . . . And a cinemagoer in Latvia has been shot dead during a screening of the Oscar-nominated movie “Black Swan” – for munching on popcorn too loudly (don’t even think about using your smartphone in this theater!).

• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – 20 semifinalists are chosen.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Adele (“21”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Adele (“21”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Broken Bells (“Broken Bells”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Laurie Anderson (“Homeland”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Bright Eyes (“The People’s Key”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Hanson (“Shout It Out”).

• AC/DC – Frontman Brian Johnson says a new live CD/DVD that was recorded at Buenos Aires’ River Plate Stadium in December 2009 is on the way ‘in about 6 weeks or something’.
• Adele – The British singer has become the first living artist since The Beatles to have 2 titles simultaneously in the top 5 of both the UK singles (“Someone Like You”, “Rolling In the Deep”) and album charts (“21”, “19”).
• Britney Spears – “Wall Street Journal” reports that her $18.9 million, 20,000-square-foot, 10-bedroom new home in Hidden Hills CA is actually just a rental, for which she’s paying $25,000-per-month.
• Chris Brown – The 5-year restraining order prohibiting him from being within 100 yards of ex-girlfriend Rihanna is being relaxed, meaning they can now be in the same building and interact with one another … as long as he doesn’t ‘harass, bother or molest’ her.
• Eminem – He’s joined an elite club on YouTube, becoming the 3rd recording artist (and first rapper) to have his videos reach 1 billion views on the site, following Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga. Rihanna is at 979 million views, so won’t be far behind.
• Madonna – 14-year-old daughter Lourdes complains to “Access Hollywood” that her 52-year-old mom is constantly borrowing her clothes without asking, particularly shoes and accessories.
• Rihanna – New reports claim she’s been secretly dating actor Ryan Phillippe. If true, it likely won’t last long. The former Mr Reese Witherspoon is a notorious Hollywood womanizer.
• Robyn – The Swedish pop star will join Katy Perry on the North American run of her “California Dreams Tour”, opening the show on 20 dates.
• Taylor Swift – This week she wrapped the Asian leg of her world tour in Hong Kong, where she was presented with a slew of platinum plaques for sales of her albums throughout the region.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Escaping The Game” – Hard to believe but 24-year-old Lindsay Lohan is being considered to star as an investigator who is looking into suspicious celebrity deaths and disappearances. Not that she couldn’t use the money – it’s estimated she’s blown through $700,000 in legal fees and rehabilitation bills over the past 4 years. The film begins production later this year.
• “Great Hope Springs” – 48-year-old “The Office” star Steve Carell is in talks for this romantic comedy co-starring Meryl Streep. He’d play a marriage therapist who tries to help a husband & wife rekindle their 31-year relationship. While Streep has signed up to play the wife, it is not yet known who will play her husband, though Jeff Bridges is reportedly on the wish-list.
• “Inherent Vice” – Robert Downey Jr is in talks to take on the lead role in this adaptation of the 2009 Thomas Pynchon novel about a drug-addled detective who becomes immersed in a number of mysteries in Los Angeles. It’s set during the year 1969, with the Manson Family murder trial looming large in the background.
• “Major League 4” – Charlie Sheen tells TMZ he’s eager to reprise his ‘Wild Thing’ character in yet another sequel to the baseball comedy but is disappointed acting-pal Corbin Bernsen, who played ‘Roger Dorn’ in the first 3 films, is not yet included in the script. The original came out in 1989, followed by “Major League II” in 1994 and “Major League: Back To the Minors” in 1998.
• “Playing the Field” – Gerard Butler stars in this sports comedy as a former soccer player whose guilt over his wild partying lifestyle leads him to agree to coach his son’s team. But his flirtations with a number of soccer moms (including Uma Thurman) get him into further trouble. Jessica Biel co-stars as the coach’s long-suffering ex-wife. Pre-production is now underway.

A BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … not only do gorillas play games, they play a game you did as a child. Among their favorite games is ‘tag’. (We’re guessing when your opponent’s arms are 6-feet-long, you’re ‘it’ a lot.)
– “Reader’s Digest”
• Scientists say … the idea that ‘midlife crisis’ is a phase we all go through is a myth. A Brandeis University psychologist says there is no specific time in life that predisposes one to crisis, it can happen at any age. (Yeah, I’ve been going though ‘full-life crisis’.)
• Scientists say … putting on a ‘game face’ and faking a smile at work may have unexpected negative consequences, worsening your mood and causing you to withdraw from the tasks at hand. (Be grumpy and succeed!)
– “New York Times”

The new ‘Breakup Notifier’ app lets you select people whose love lives you want to monitor and, whenever they change their relationship status on Facebook, it sends you an email. The service’s tag line: “You like someone. They’re in a relationship. Be the first to know when they’re out of it.” Jumping off of Facebook, ‘Breakup Notifier’ lets you log in, check off the friends you’re interested in, and then emails you once they’re no longer taken. The app checks for breakups every 10 minutes. (Let’s see, George Clooney …. still taken.)
– ABC News

• Romania – A 35-year-old con man has finally been arrested after a decade on-the-run. The convicted fraud artist has evaded detection since 2001 by getting married abroad and adopting his wife’s name. He was finally nabbed after police investigating a minor traffic offence discovered the undercover felon working as … a primetime TV anchorman.
• New Jersey – A Millville man busted for shoplifting has explained he did it because he lost a bet and had to choose between stealing $50-worth of merchandise at Walmart or running naked through the streets. Cops say the 58-year-old expressed regrets for his choice as the fine for public nudity would have been less. The mathematically-challenged loser didn’t even live up to the conditions of the wager … his loot only totaled $43.82.
• Britain – UK citizens who are getting sick of all the sappy publicity surrounding the ‘Wedding of the Year’ can now buy … a royal barf bag. The ‘Throne Up’ bag, which sells for $4.75, includes drawings of Prince William & Kate Middleton along with the words ‘Royal Wedding Sick Bag’.
• Germany – German children may soon get the legal right to scream. The government is so anxious to encourage its citizens to reproduce that it has introduced a bill allowing anyone under 6 to laugh, shout, and play at any volume. The move comes after a senior citizens’ chapter sought to ban kindergartens from residential areas because they are too loud.
– AP

A company called Sprout Home sells superhero comic books that, if you plant them in the ground, grow herbs. Each is packed in a clear plastic sleeve (keeping it in mint condition) with simple graphic instructions on the back. The 2-seed paper pages are embedded with mixed herb seeds. Among the superheros featured: “The Gardener” and “April Showers”.

‘Smokey the Cat’ of Pitsford, England is thought to have the ‘Loudest Purr in the World’. Owners Ruth & Mark Adams say her deafening purrs make it impossible for them to hear the radio or TV when she’s in the room and they struggle to have phone conversations. What’s more, she purrs at some level nearly all the time, even while she eats. The only time she’s quiet is when she’s asleep. Smokey’s purr has been measured at 90 decibels … as loud as a lawnmower or an airplane landing.

• The Facebook page with the most fans is ‘Texas HoldEm Poker’. It’s also one of the top 5 apps on Facebook. ‘Michael Jackson’, ‘Lady Gaga’, and ‘Eminem’ are the most popular people with Facebook pages, while ‘Coca Cola’ is the most popular product.
• Almost 90% of the world’s population is consistently right-handed. The remaining 10% is divided between those who consistently prefer the left hand and ‘inconsistent-handers’, those who regularly switch between right and left.
– “New Scientist”


1958 [53] Sammy Kershaw, Kaplan LA, country singer (“She Don’t Know She’s Beautiful”, “Cadillac Style”)

1966 [45] Billy Zane, Chicago IL, movie actor  (“Zoolander”, “Titanic”)/TV actor (“The Deep End” 2010, “Samantha Who?” 2009)

1955 [56] Steve Jobs, San Francisco CA, Apple Computer CEO & co-founder with Steve Wozniak in 1977 (iPad, iPhone, iPod, iMac)/Pixar Animation founder (“Up”, “Wall-E”)

1983 [28] Matt McGinley, Geneva NY, rock drummer (Gym Class Heroes-“Cupid’s Chokehold”)

• “Chili Day”, a great excuse to put together a perfect pot of spicy chili. What’s your secret ingredient?

• “Flag Day” in Mexico (“El Dia de la Bandera”), celebrating ‘La Bandera Mexicana’ created in 1821 when the country gained independence.

• “Introduce a Girl to Engineering Day”, an annual highlight of “Engineers Week”. While it’s become more popular for females to enter the filed, engineering remains a predominantly male profession.

• “Personal Chefs Day”, an annual reminder to consider hiring a private chef for a day, a unique way to entertain friends and business guests in your home. It’s not as expensive as you might think … check your want ads.
PHONER: 800.644.8389

• “Sourdough Rendezvous”, the 47th annual mid-Winter bash that celebrates Yukon’s First People through Sunday in Whitehorse. Among the events: Axe Throw; Chainsaw Chuck; Dog Races; Log Toss; and the famous ‘Mad(am) Trapper Contest’.

• “Tortilla Chip Day”, saluting the invention of Rebecca Webb Carranza of Los Angeles during the 1940s. Rather than tossing misshaped tortillas that came out of an automated tortilla machine into the trash, she decided to cut them into triangles, fry them, and sell them for a dime a bag. They were an immediate hit!

1988 [23] Campaigning as a member of the ‘Wild Party’, rocker Alice Cooper announces he’ll run for Governor of Arizona (fail)

1998 [13] (Sir) Elton John is knighted by Queen Elizabeth II

1914 [97] Clarence Crane invents “Life Savers”, which he describes as ‘a hole encased in candy’

2008 [03] Ailing 82-year-old Fidel Castro retires as President of Cuba after nearly 50 years and turns the reins of power over to his brother Raul (a sprightly 77-year-old)

1999 [12] Lauryn Hill sets Grammy Awards record for female artists with 5 trophies for her debut solo album, ”The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill” (then disappears into obscurity)

[Fri] “Drive Angry 3D”; “The Grace Card”; “Hall Pass” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Razzie Awards (Hollywood)
[Sat] Open That Bottle Night
[Sat] Levi Strauss Day
[Sat] International Sword Swallowers Day
[Sun] Academy Awards (Hollywood)
[Mon] Tooth Fairy Day
This Week Is … International Friendship Week
This Month Is … Canned Food Month


• You’re recycling your last pair of underwear by showering in them daily.
• You’ve worn your bedsheets to work because you can’t get them off of you.
• The phrase ‘Wash Me’ is visibly written on your jeans.
• Your tan T-shirt is now a green T-shirt.
• The boss pulls you aside to remind you your company’s ‘Casual Day’ policy does not allow for a college graduation gown and snorkeling fins.

I work very hard. Please don’t expect me to think as well.

While you weren’t paying attention, your celery went limp. Which will help make it crispy again?
a. Cut off both ends and rub it with salt.
b. Soak it in a pan of cold water with a few slices of raw potato. [CORRECT]
c. Coat it with a solution of oyster sauce and Viagra.
– “800 Household Hints & Tips” by Pamela Gross

What’s your absolute least-favorite vegetable? (Out of 33 veggies considered in a recent poll, 87% pick the parsnip, followed by Swiss chard and bok choi. On the other end of the scale, lettuce and salad greens are the most popular.)

Today’s Question: By the end of 2011, THIS will happen to about 2 million of the 700 million Facebook users around-the-world.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: They’re going to die. (

If you don’t care where you are, you aren’t lost.

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