Tuesday, February 24, 2015        Edition: #5404

Another Sheetload of Bull!

“The Bull Sheet” is on Spring Break from March 2-13 inclusive. All subscribers will receive account credits for missed service days.

★ This is how reality TV works: Kim Kardashian pisses off Kris Jenner so much by not letting her in Kim & Kanye’s new house, the matriarch throws a rock through her window … according to the script for an upcoming episode of their reality show. An inside production source says that’s the gist of a detailed outline for a scene during Season 10 of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians”. The scene purportedly ends with Jenner screaming, “You won’t get rid of me this easily.” The best part … it’s so scripted that North West cries on cue.
– TMZ.com
★ The new book “Bits: A Comedy Writer’s Screams of Consciousness” by Kenny Solms offers some juicy behind-the-scenes info on some of the biggest names in show biz. For instance, when he produced the 1985 TV special “Disneyland’s 30th Anniversary Celebration”, he had a few problems with co-host Drew Barrymore. For one thing, she was always drunk. For another, she was 9-years-old. He also relates stories about late comedian Joan Rivers, whom he says once told him that if anything ever happened to her, he shouldn’t resuscitate her “unless she could perform at least a 90-minute set onstage.”
– NYPost.com
★ She was one of Hollywood’s most glamorous stars but screen legend Elizabeth Taylor died practically ‘broke’ after her estate was drained by family and associates in her final days. That revelation has come to light in court documents filed in a bitter divorce battle between Elizabeth’s daughter Maria Burton and her husband Thomas McKeown. The couple has been married 14 years but now McKeown is threatening to expose family secrets in a tell-all book. His leaked emails are promising more juicy tidbits to come. Taylor died at age 79 in 2011.
– NationalEnquirer.com

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Little Big Town (“Pain Killer”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Prince Royce (“Soy el Mismo”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Dave Hause (“Devour”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – JD McPherson (“Let the Good Times Roll”).
• “Marvel’s Agent Carter” (ABC/CTV) – In the 1st-season finalé, ‘Peggy’ (Hayley Atwell) has to save the world … of course. “Agents of SHIELD” returns to this time slot next week.
• “Meredith Vieira Show” (syndicated) – Marc Anthony (“3.0”).
• “Parks & Recreation” (NBC/CityTV) – In the series finalé after 7 seasons, the gang completes one last task before we say goodbye to ‘Pawnee’. It’s nice that Amy Poehler’s sitcom gets a proper sendoff, although ratings suggest even hardcore fans have left it behind at this point.
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Big Sean (“Dark Sky Paradise”, out today).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Charlie Wilson (“Love, Charlie”).
• “TV’s Hottest Commercials Countdown” (CW) – Hosts Ivonne Coll & Kevin Frazier countdown the 20 sexiest ads from around-the-world.
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – The new season continues with more blind auditions.

• Beyoncé & Jay Z – They’ve reportedly signed a lease to rent a mansion in LA after losing out in a bidding war on a $70-million property in Beverly Hills. The rental in Holmby Hills is said to rent for $150,000 a month. They previously leased it for a short period last Summer.
• Ed Sheeran – He’s set to debut a new song at the “BRIT Awards” at London’s O2 Arena on Wednesday night.
• Kanye West – He’s said to be lobbying Drake to head into the studio for a collaborative album. They previously discussed the idea in 2011, but talks got sidelined because Drake was already working on music with Lil Wayne, and Kanye & Jay Z were working on “Watch the Throne”.
• Kid Rock – His new album, “First Kiss”, is out today. It’s his 10th studio album, which was mostly produced by Kid Rock himself at his studio in Michigan.
• Rihanna – She’s still putting together her 8th studio album and has snapped up a new song for the project penned by Prince. It’s thought she may debut the track at tomorrow night’s “BRIT Awards” in London.
• Rob Zombie – Today he releases the new concert album, “Spookshow International Live”, recorded during last year’s worldwide tour. He’s also working on his next studio album, due to be released later this year.
• Sam Smith – The 22-year-old multiple Grammy-winner tells “The Observer” he’s trying to stay grounded while his music propels him to worldwide fame. Quote: ”I’ve spent as much energy this past year trying not to go mental as I have plugging my record. You have to. It’s like your body’s trying to float away from you. And you’re hanging on for dear life.”

Out today on DVD, Netflix, Google Play and/or other video providers …
• “Big Hero 6” ( PG Family Animation ): Disney’s “Frozen” follow-up centers on the special bond that develops between a plus-sized inflatable robot (‘Baymax’) and a hi-tech prodigy (‘Hiro Hamada’). The film just won the Oscar for ‘Best Animated Feature Film Of the Year’.
• “Horrible Bosses 2” ( R-Rated Comedy ): In this follow-up to the 2011 film, ‘Dale’, ‘Kurt’ and ‘Nick’ decide to start their own business but things don’t go as planned because of a slick investor, prompting the trio to pull off a harebrained kidnapping scheme. Stars Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis, Charlie Day, Jennifer Aniston.
• “Whiplash” ( R-Rated Musical Drama ): Miles Teller stars as a promising young drummer enrolled at a cut-throat music conservatory where his dreams of greatness are mentored by an instructor who will stop at nothing to realize a student’s potential. That role just won JK Simmons the Oscar for ‘Best Performance By an Actor In a Supporting Role’.
• Also released today: “The Carol Burnett Show: Together Again” (Vintage TV); “Mountain Men: Season 3” (TV); “My Little Pony – Friendship Is Magic: Adventures Of the Cutie Mark Crusaders” (Children); “Sons of Anarchy Season 7” (TV); and “Zombieworld” (Compilation Anthology).

✓ Guys apparently prefer longer messages. When a woman sends a message, it’s 40% more likely to get a response if it’s longer than a tweet (140 characters).
✓ Women who make the first move are more likely to get a response. If you mention ‘dinner’, ‘drinks’, or ‘lunch’, you’re 73% more likely to get a response.
✓ Famous people who’ve reportedly given online dating a whirl include Adele, Ashton Kutcher, Britney Spears, Jenny McCarthy, Joan Rivers, and Orlando Bloom.
✓ The most mentioned buzzword in online dating messages is ‘basic’. On a brighter, less basic side, ‘lumbersexual’ is poised to take over in 2015, which is amazing.
✓ If you message someone a smiley with a nose :-), you’re 13% more likely to get a response. If your smiley doesn’t have a nose :), it’s 66% less likely to spur a return message.
✓ Outdoorsy things are the subject of 380 of the 1,000 most commonly used words in profiles. Among them: ‘athlete’, ‘skiing’, ‘surfing’, and ‘yoga’.
✓ 66% of users have now actually gone on a real-life date with someone they met through a dating site or dating app, which is up from 43% in 2005.
✓ Bad grammar is looked down upon by both genders; it’s a total turn-off for 43% of users.
✓ 84% of users favor selfies over formal portrait pictures in other people’s profiles.
✓ Researchers think too much online communication before a first date may cause a person to idealize the person they’re interacting with prior to actually meeting them face-to-face, leading to a major letdown. (So act fast!)
– Condensed from Cosmopolitan.com

• Starbucks’ new breakfast sandwich looks a ‘latté’ like Burger King’s. Last week the coffee chain rolled out the ‘Double-Smoked Bacon, Cheddar & Egg’ sandwich in an effort to beef up its food menu. The sandwich is served on a croissant-like bun and closely resembles the Burger King ‘Croissan’wich’ that’s served with the same bacon, egg, and cheese combo. Starbucks’ new colossal breakfast packs a caloric punch with 540 calories, and 32 grams of fat.
• Pizza chain Little Caesars is debuting a new ‘Bacon Wrapped Crust DEEP! DEEP! Dish’ pizza boasting 3½ feet of bacon wrapped around the crust. The 8-corner pizza (2 square pizzas served side-by-side) is then topped with pepperoni and … more bacon. A single slice of the pizza has 450 calories and 23 grams of fat. This limited-time promotion will only be on the menu through late April.
– @NYDailynews

Some of these were so bad they’ve been completely forgotten by most …
10. “Caprica” – An ill-advised remake of “Battlestar Galactica”.
9. “The Love Boat: The Next Wave” – As if the syrupy ’70s show “Love Boat” needed a reboot.
8. “Hello, Larry” – A comedy spin-off of “Diff’rent Strokes” staring MacLean Stevenson.
7. “Joey” – One of the post-“Friends” disasters, this one starring Matt LeBlanc.
6. “The Tortellis” – Based on ‘Nick Tortelli’, ‘Carla’s ne’er-do-well ex-husband on “Cheers”.
5. “Gloria” – Sally Struthers’ fully forgettable follow-up to “All In the Family”.
4. “Beverly Hills Buntz” – A spin-off from “Hill Street Blues”. Even the title sucked.
3. “AfterMASH” – A lame follow-up to one of the most popular TV comedies of all-time.
2. “The Brady Brides” – Or what do you do when “The Brady Bunch” grows up?
1. “Joanie Loves Chachi” – A spin-off from “Happy Days”. Amazingly, it lasted 19 episodes.
(And the spin-off series you love to hate is …?)
– Adapted from RollingStone.com

A recent study has found that outgoing children are more likely to succeed at school than those who are just intelligent. According to a review of the link between personality and academic achievement, personality traits that are considered ‘positive’ are found to be a better way to predict success at school than intelligence as it’s usually measured – with traditional standardized tests. In a related study from Griffith University in Australia comparing success to the personality traits of school pupils, it’s been found that the students who are rated higher in ‘openness’ and ‘conscientiousness’ tend to receive better grades. (This is obviously unfair, one reason Susan Cain’s book “Quiet – The Power of Introverts In a World That Can’t Stop Talking” has become a best seller.)
– @MailOnline

In July, Random House will bring out a never-published book by Dr Seuss entitled “What Pet Should I Get”.
– “USA Today”


1966 [49] Billy Zane, Chicago IL, movie actor (“Zoolander”, “Titanic”)

1983 [32] Matt McGinley, Geneva NY, rock drummer (Gym Class Heroes-“Cupid’s Chokehold”)

1988 [27] Alexander Koch, Grosse Pointe Park MI, TV actor (‘Junior Rennie’ on “Under the Dome” since 2013)

• “Cupcake Day”, saluting those fabulous little cakes that don’t count as cheating on your diet ’cause they’re just small … right? In Canada, the day is a fundraiser in which people are asked to ‘bake a difference’ to support animal shelters, SPCAs, and Humane Societies.

• “Single Tasking Day”, a day to focus on one project at a time. Studies show you’ll likely end up accomplishing more.

• “Spay Day USA”, the 20th annual to promote spaying & neutering as a primary means of saving animal lives. Thousands of adoptable animals are killed every year simply because there are not enough homes for them.

• “Tortilla Chip Day”, saluting the invention by Rebecca Webb Carranza of Los Angeles during the 1940s. Rather than tossing misshaped tortillas that came out of an automated tortilla machine into the trash, she decided to cut them into triangles, fry them, and sell them for a dime a bag. They were an immediate hit!
NET: http://www.punchbowl.com/holidays/national-tortilla-chip-day

• “World Bartender Day”, a day designed for you to appreciate the staff at your favorite watering hole. They work hard to keep their customers happy and often don’t get paid very well.

2011 [04] CBS-TV announces it’s suspending production of “Two-and-a-Half Men” after star Charlie Sheen airs a scathing rant about the network and show creator Chuck Lorre in a radio interview (eventually dumped for Ashton Kutcher, Sheen moves on to “Anger Management”)

2013 [02] Winners at 85th Academy Awards include: “Argo” (‘Best Picture’; Daniel Day Lewis (‘Best Actor’ for “Lincoln”); Jennifer Lawrence (‘Best Actress’ for “Silver Linings Playbook”)

2014 [01] Movie/TV actor, director, and writer Harold Ramis dies at age 69 in Chicago IL (best known for “Caddyshack”, “Ghostbusters”, “Groundhog Day”, “SCTV”, “Vacation”)

2004 [11] After EMI refuses to let Danger Mouse release his “Grey Album”, a mashup of Jay Z’s “Black Album” with samples from The Beatles’ “White Album”,  he makes it available as a free download online for 1 day, known as “Grey Tuesday” (since credited with bringing ‘mashups’ to the mainstream)

2008 [07] Ailing 82-year-old Fidel Castro retires as President of Cuba after nearly 50 years and turns the reins of power over to his brother Raul (at the time a sprightly 77-year-old)

[Wed] “Survivor” 30th season debut (CBS/Global)
[Wed] Inconvenience Yourself Day
[Thurs] “Aerosmith Rocks Donington 2014” screens in movie theaters
[Thurs] Chili Day
[Thurs] Introduce a Girl to Engineering Day
[Thurs] Bacon Day
This Week Is … Invasive Species Awareness Week
This Month Is … Plant the Seeds of Greatness Month


• “Book of Mormon” – He will explain to you why something is funny.
• “Cabaret” – He has used an eyeliner pencil as a regular pencil.
• “Cats” – His fingernails are creepily long.
• “Chicago” – He calls legs ‘gams’.
• “Damn Yankees” – He has his grandfather’s baseball cards and his grandfather’s “Playboys”.
• “Fiddler On the Roof” – He has a special nickname that he calls his grandmother.
• “Guys & Dolls” – He has his own nickname for every member of the ‘Rat Pack’.
• “Hedwig & The Angry Inch” – He has pierced his own ear at least once.
• “Jersey Boys” – He and his dad have plans for that Camaro.
• “Les Miserables” – He took inspirational school assemblies very seriously.
• “The Music Man” – He logged more than 50 hours of detention in high school.
• “Phantom Of the Opera” – He keeps asking if Jenna will be at the reunion.
• “The Sound of Music” – He doesn’t understand why people don’t spank their kids anymore.
• “West Side Story” – He can’t help you if you won’t tell him what’s wrong.
– Thanks to Mara Wilson

☎ Did your teachers ever interrupt regularly scheduled learning to watch live TV in the classroom? What was the event?

Besides identification, what are fingerprints useful for?
a. Wicking away water.
b. Digital traction. [CORRECT. They help your fingers grasp things.]
c. Fingertip decor.
– “Book of Answers”

What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.

Question: It takes the average person about 5½ hours to do THIS.
Answer: Read a book.

Don’t worry about what people think of you; they don’t do it very often.

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