Friday, February 24, 2017 – Edition: #5919

Another Sheetload of Bull!

★ Just when it seemed like one of ‘your stories’ was getting the ax, there’s good news for daytime TV fans. NBC-TV has announced it has reconsidered and is renewing the long-running soap “Days of Our Lives” for a 52nd season. Set in the fictitious Midwestern town of ‘Salem’, it aired its 13,000th episode in January. The soap is one of the longest-running scripted TV shows in the world, debuting on November 8, 1965. (Before most of the current cast was born.)
– “Hollywood Reporter”
★ Director Martin Scorsese and actor Robert De Niro’s long-awaited mob movie “The Irishman” is heading to the small-screen thanks to a deal with streaming service Netflix. The longtime collaborators (“Raging Bull”, “Goodfellas”) were first linked to the bio-pic about real-life union official-turned-mafia hitman Frank ‘The Irishman’ Sheeran in 2008, but production plans stalled. Shooting is now set to roll later this year. A release date has yet to be announced.
★ Almost as intriguing as who will win Oscars on Sunday is the annual rundown of what’s included in the stars’ infamous ‘swag bags’. This year top Oscar nominees are getting freebies worth $100,000. They include: a week-long stay at California’s Golden Door Spa; a 3-day stay at Lost Coast Ranch; 10 sessions with a personal trainer; a Pelvic Floor Exercise Tracker (?!?); and Cellulite Mats that promise to get rid of fat when you sit on them. Perhaps most useful gift is a personalized CPR training session by the American Heart Association. (In case you win.)

• “Daytona 500” (FOX) – Sunday NASCAR season kicks off with the 59th ‘Great American Race’ in Daytona Beach FL. FOX-TV has been attempting to make it into a an excuse for a big party like the Super Bowl. Think “Daytona Day” will catch on?
• “Ellen” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today John Mayer (“The Search for Everything: Wave One”).
• “Independent Spirit Awards” (IFC) – Saturday “American Honey”, “Manchester By the Sea”, and “Moonlight” lead this year’s indie film nominations. For the past 3 years, the winner has gone on to win the Oscar for ‘Best Picture’ (“12 Years a Slave”, “Birdman”, and “Spotlight”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Foals (“What Went Down”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/CTV) – Tonight OK Go (“Hungry Ghosts”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Tonight Mastodon’s Brann Dailor sits in. Rerun.
• “The Oscars” (ABC/CTV) – Sunday Jimmy Kimmel hosts the 89th honors at LA’s Dolby Theatre. With 14 nominations, “La La Land” ties 2 other films (“All About Eve”, “Titanic”) for most ever. Musical performances by Justin Timberlake, John Legend, Sting, and Lin-Manuel Miranda. Some are saying this year’s event could be the most political ever. Hope not.
• Razzie Awards (Hollywood CA) – Saturday the 37th Golden Raspberry Award ‘winners’ are announced for the worst films of the year. “Zoolander 2” and “Batman vs Superman” have the most nominations, but there are lots of other stinkers to choose from, ie: “Dirty Grandpa”.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Chronixx (“Dread & Terrible”).
• “Ultimate Beastmaster” (Netflix) – Today the debut of an international obstacle-course competition series produced by Sylvester Stallone and Dave Broome. The competing countries are Brazil, Germany, Japan, Mexico, South Korea, and the USA.
• “Z: The Beginning of Everything” (Amazon) – Debut of a fictionalized bio series about Zelda Fitzgerald (played by Christina Ricci) & her author-husband F Scott Fitzgerald (Gavin Stenhouse), when they were the ‘it’ couple of the 1920s Jazz Age.

• Florida Georgia Line – Alongside Nelly and Chris Lane, they’re set to reprise the “This Is How We Roll Summer Series 2014” with the launch of “The Smooth Tour 2017”. Opening June 2nd in Austin TX, the 4-month trek is hitting 40 markets.
• Future – Only a week after releasing his new self-titled album, he’s dropping another new album today, a 17-track recording called “HNDRXX”. While no track titles have been revealed, both Rihanna and The Weeknd are tagged on Future’s Instagram announcement.
• George Harrison – Today the late Beatle’s solo catalogue is being reissued in a deluxe box set. “George Harrison: The Vinyl Collection” compiles his 12 solo albums, the “Live in Japan” recording, and a pair of 12″ singles. Saturday is the 74th anniversary of his birthday.
• Jay Z – He’s going to be the 1st rapper inducted into the Songwriters Hall of Fame, “Billboard” reports. Jay’s on the list of 2017 inductees alongside Max Martin (who’s written more #1 songs than anyone not involved with The Beatles) and Motown founder Berry Gordy.
• Lady Antebellum – The new single “You Look Good” is from their “Heart Break” album, due out June 9th. The country trio’s new tour kicks off May 26th in Bakersfield CA.
• Nelly Furtado – She tells “Cosmopolitan” she was “broken” and ”really empty” before writing her new album but she believes that has led her to ”write good stuff”. The 38-year-old singer-songwriter is set to release “The Ride” on March 31st.
• Reba McEntire – Her new album “Sing It Now: Songs of Faith & Love” is predicted to remain atop the new ‘Billboard Country’ and ‘Christian/Gospel’ charts for a 2nd consecutive week.
• Twenty One Pilots – “Heathens” has broken the record for most weeks at #1 on the ‘Billboard Hot Rock Songs’ chart. The tune has just landed 28 weeks at the top, eclipsing Walk the Moon’s “Shut Up and Dance”, which spent 27 weeks at #1 in Summer 2015.

• “Collide” ( PG-13 Action Thriller ): An American backpacker in Europe becomes involved with a ring of drug smugglers. After serving as their driver, he winds up on the run from his employers across the city of Cologne and on Germany’s high-speed high-speed Autobahn. Stars Nicholas Hoult, Felicity Jones, Anthony Hopkins, Ben Kingsley.
• “Get Out” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): The feature film directorial debut from comedian-writer Jordan Peele is an offbeat horror comedy that begins with a young interracial couple’s visit to a creepy family estate. Many of its residents, who are black, have gone missing, and one who isn’t yet warns them: “Get out!” Stars Daniel Kaluuya, Allison Williams, Bradley Whitford.
• “Rock Dog” ( PG Animated Family Comedy ): When a radio falls from the sky into the hands of a wide-eyed Tibetan Mastiff, he leaves home to fulfill his dream of becoming a musician, setting into motion a series of unexpected events. Voices include Luke Wilson, Eddie Izzard, JK Simmons, Lewis Black. An adaptation of the Chinese graphic novel “Tibetan Rock Dog”.
• Opening in limited release: “As You Are” (Mystery); “Bitter Harvest” (War Drama); and “Punching Henry” (Comedy).

Samsung is making an appearance at this weekend’s Mobile World Congress trade show in Barcelona, Spain and is expected to announce a new product during a press conference on Sunday. Rumors suggest the product may be a refresh to its premium tablet line, the Galaxy Tab S3. A recent leak detailed the tablet may feature a thin frame and Android 7.0 Nougat. While Samsung is not expected to unveil the new Galaxy S8 smartphone until late March in NYC, the manufacturer may give the press a preview of the device during this weekend’s event. The Galaxy S8 is expected to come in 2 screen sizes, to have no home button, and feature a fingerprint scanner on the back panel. (It also no longer features an Improvised Explosive Device.)

Imperial College London and the World Health Organization have analyzed lifespans in 35 industrialized countries and found that South Korean women will be the first in the world to have an average life expectancy above 90, and that will occur by 2030. So what is South Korea doing to extend life? South Koreans are better at dealing with hypertension and have some of the lowest obesity rates in the world. And things that benefit people there – education, good nutrition, etc – tend to benefit most people, not just an elite few. The study predicts all of the countries will see people living longer in 2030 and the gap between men and women will start to close. The researchers say the findings pose big future challenges for pensions and elderly healthcare. (Your monthly government pension in 2030 … $3 and a can of cat food.)
– BBC Health

A French artist is entombing himself inside a giant rock at a Parisian modern art museum for a week before attempting to … hatch a dozen eggs. Abraham Poincheval has hollowed out a hole in a 12-tonne chunk of limestone that’s just big enough for him to fit inside. For months, he’s been preparing himself mentally and physically for life inside the artwork “Stone”, where he’s planning to sit up with his arms outstretched. Air-holes have drilled into the rock and there are cables for a heart monitor and an emergency phone line. Food-wise, he’s planning to eat dried meat and liquidized foods. After “Stone”, his next performance “Egg” will begin on March 29th and will involve Abraham sitting on 12 eggs for up to 4 weeks until they hatch. Quote: “I think of it as an inner journey to find out what the world is.” (BS translation: I’m Looney-Tunes.)

People are now getting freckles tattooed on their faces. Freckle-free people often have to put up with freckled friends bashing their spots, saying they wish they didn’t have them. But it seems many freckle-less souls are wishing they did have them. Hence, freckle fakes made with semipermanent tattoos. When first tattooed across the nose and cheeks the ink appears dark and slightly raised, but it gradually fades to a more natural tone over a few months. Eventually the tattoos fade completely, so you’ll need to get them topped up. It might be easier than penciling on freckles every morning, but considering the treatment is priced in the hundreds, is it worth it? (Cheaper alternative … eat chocolate, grow zits.)
– “Allure Magazine”

There is a big health benefit to tying the knot: married people have lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol compared to those who remain single. Too much cortisol can spike inflammation, setting the stage for a number of diseases.
– “Men’s Health”


1966 [51] Billy Zane, Chicago IL, movie actor (“Zoolander”, “Titanic”)

1977 [40] Floyd Mayweather Jr, Grand Rapids MI, boxing champ/world’s highest-paid athlete in 2015

1983 [34] Matt McGinley, Geneva NY, rock drummer (Gym Class Heroes-“Cupid’s Chokehold”)

1991 [26] O’Shea Jackson Jr, LA CA, movie actor (“Straight Outta Compton”)/son of rapper Ice Cube

TV actress Téa Leoni (“Madam Secretary”) is 51; Movie actor Sean Astin (“Lord Of the Rings”) is 46; Netflix personality Chelsea Handler (“Chelsea”) is 42; TV actress Rashida Jones (“Angie Tribeca”) is 41; Country singer Shawna Thompson (Thompson Square) is 39.

Rock bassist Tim Commerford (Rage Against the Machine) is 49; R&B singer Erykah Badu (“Bag Lady”) is 46; Pop singer Corinne Bailey Rae (“Put Your Records On”) is 38; Indie pop singer Nate Ruess (fun.) is 35.

• “Tortilla Chip Day”, saluting the invention by Rebecca Webb Carranza of Los Angeles during the 1940s. Rather than tossing misshaped tortillas from an automated tortilla machine into the trash, she decided to cut them into triangles, fry them, and sell them for a dime a bag. They were an immediate hit!
• “World Bartender Day”, a day designed for you to appreciate the staff at your favorite watering hole. They work hard to keep their customers happy and often don’t get paid very well.

• “Clam Chowder Day”, a day to add a little heat to your Winter with a bit of bacon, onion, and flour; some diced potatoes and a can of clams, simmered in clam juice and milk. Add lots of black pepper. And don’t forget the hot sauce!
• “International Sword Swallowers Day”, a day of recognition for practitioners of the ancient art. Demonstrations are scheduled at Ripley’s Believe It or Not! museums worldwide.
• “Open That Bottle Night” … you know, the one that’s gathering dust in your wine cellar, or maybe that 20-year-old bottle of Scotch you were given as a gift. What are you saving it for?

• “For Pete’s Sake Day”, which asks the pressing question, ‘Just who the heck is Pete, anyway, and why would we do anything for his sake?’
• “Levi Strauss’ Birthday” (1829-1902), the man who created the first Levi’s blue jeans for California’s gold miners in 1850. Without him, many of us wouldn’t have a wardrobe.
• “Personal Chefs Day”, an annual reminder to consider hiring a private chef for a day, a unique way to entertain friends and business guests in your home. It’s not as costly as you might think.
• “Tell a Fairytale Day”. Yeah, inflict some of the most violent stories ever written onto your innocent, unsuspecting child. (What’s the scariest of all-time? “Fee, fi, foe, fum …”)
• “World Pistachio Day”, apparently honoring people with pink dye all over their lips. Betcha can’t eat just one!

2011 [06] CBS-TV announces it’s suspending production of “Two-and-a-Half Men” after star Charlie Sheen airs a scathing rant about the network and show creator Chuck Lorre in a radio interview (eventually dumped for Ashton Kutcher, Sheen moves on to “Anger Management”)

2013 [04] Winners at 85th Academy Awards include: “Argo” (‘Best Picture’); Daniel Day Lewis (‘Best Actor’ for “Lincoln”); Jennifer Lawrence (‘Best Actress’ for “Silver Linings Playbook”)

2013 [04] Janet Jackson reveals that she & Wissam Al Mana, a billionaire investor from Qatar, have gotten married in a quiet, secret ceremony sometime in 2012

2014 [03] Robin Thicke & Paula Patton announce their separation after 9 years of marriage (a few months later, Thicke releases his [failed] album “Paula”, where he pours his heart out over the split)

2008 [09] Ailing 82-year-old Fidel Castro retires as President of Cuba after nearly 50 years and turns the reins of power over to his brother Raul (at the time a spry 77-year-old)

[Mon] “The Voice” season debut (NBC/CTV)
[Mon] International Polar Bear Day
[Tues] Mardi Gras/Shrove Tuesday
[Tues] Tooth Fairy Day
[Tues] Spay Day
This Week Is … Invasive Species Awareness Week
This Month Is … Plant the Seeds of Greatness Month


✓ Mention Budweiser in your acceptance speech and you get a free case a year.
✓ At a bar you can ask hotties: “Hey hon’, wanna polish my Oscar?”
✓ If you dangle it from your rearview mirror you can say goodbye to speeding tickets.
✓ You can hide a spare house key under your star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
✓ No more of that phony “It’s just an honor to be nominated” bull-crap.
✓ On camping trips, an Oscar is great for pounding in tent stakes.
✓ A lot of people don’t know this, but the head screws off and there’s booze inside.

☎ What’s your (very specific) dream job?

Ever wonder which is the proper wine to serve with Girl Guide/Girl Scout Cookies? Somebody actually took the time to figure that out …

I’ve signed up for yet another 12-step program … and I still can’t dance.

Question: Instead of police dogs, cops in China prefer to use THIS animal.
Answer: Geese. (They’re more territorial and have better eyesight.)

Ever wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges?

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