Friday, February 27, 2015        Edition: #5407

Monthly Planning Calendar in Today’s BS!

“The Bull Sheet” is on Spring Break from March 2nd-13th inclusive. All subscribers are receiving account credits for missed service days. Next issue is for Monday, March 16th.

★ Actor Jamie Dornan’s rep is now denying published claims that the actor won’t star in the “Fifty Shades of Grey” sequels … because his wife doesn’t want him to. Reports of trouble in the marriage emerged after an Australian publication claimed Amelia Warner was unhappy with her 32-year-old husband starring in explicit sex scenes as ‘Christian Grey’. Jamie’s spokeswoman says simply, ”There’s no truth to this fabricated rumor.’ In fact, she claims, the movie studio hasn’t even committed to a sequel as yet.
– “The Sun”
★ Bobbi Kristina Brown is still in a coma. The 21-year-old daughter of Bobby Brown and the late Whitney Houston was taken off some medications to bring her back to consciousness this week, but began having seizures so doctors had to put her back on the drugs. An inside source says this is a big setback as everyone around her was hopeful that the drug reduction was a sign she’d turned the corner on recovery. Bobbi was placed in a medically-induced coma after she was found unresponsive in a bathtub at her Atlanta GA home on January 31st.
– “People”
★ “Avatar” filmmaker James Cameron & actress-wife Suzy Amis Cameron are planning to turn the school they opened in 2006 – The Muse School in Calabasas, California – into the first all-vegan educational institution in America. The private school’s main mandate is teaching kids to take care of the environment. This Fall a new meal plan will be introduced, banning all meat. Cameron quote: “The average person would say vegan, but we say whole food, plant-based. It’s about raising kids who don’t think it’s strange or exotic or worthy of a pat on the back to be doing the right thing for the living biosphere.”
– “Hollywood Reporter”

• “The Amazing Race” (CBS/CTV) – Tonight in Part 2 of the 26th-season debut, the teams race through Nagano, Japan.
• “Canadian Screen Awards” (CBC) – Sunday sketch comedy legend Andrea Martin hosts the ‘Screenies’, honoring excellence in Canadian film, TV, and digital. Xavier Dolan’s “Mommy” leads movie nominations 13, followed by David Cronenberg’s “Maps To the Stars” with 11. On the TV front, “Orphan Black” has a category-leading 13 nominations.
• “Downton Abbey” (PBS) – Sunday the most popular show in PBS-TV history wraps its 5th season in a 2-hour episode in which ‘The Crawleys’ attend a shooting party at a castle.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Nicki Minaj (“The Pinkprint”). Rerun.
• “House of Cards” (Netflix) – Today the entire Season 3 is released. The opener picks up where Season 2 ended, with evil ‘Frank Underwood’ (Kevin Spacey) and equally devious wife ‘Claire’ (Robin Wright) ensconced in the White House as President and First Lady.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Saturday a primetime rerun of this week’s post-Oscars special, with guest Benedict Cumberbatch, Neil Patrick Harris.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight King Tuff (“Black Moon Spell”). Rerun,
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Tonight The Mavericks (“Mono”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Tonight Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings (“Give the People What They Want”). Rerun,
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Today Echosmith (“Talking Dreams”).
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Dakota Johnson (“Fifty Shades of Grey”); musical guest Alabama Shakes (“Sound & Color”, out April 21st).
• “Shania: Still the One Live From Vegas” (ABC/CTV) – Saturday a concert special that recaps Canadian pop/country star Shania Twain’s 2-year residency in Las Vegas, which ended in December after 105 shows. The special also sets up a live CD and DVD release, of course.
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Today Jennifer Lopez (“American Idol”). Rerun.

• Dan + Shay – Saturday they launch the new leg of their “Where It All Began Tour” in Knoxville TN, a trek runs through April 25th in Chicago IL. Canaan Smith is the opening act.
• Dead Daisies – Saturday this mash-up group featuring Richard Fortus and Dizzy Reed (Guns N’ Roses) and Marco Mendoza (Thin Lizzy/Whitesnake) concludes the first visit to Cuba by a US rock act since the relaxation of travel & trade rules with a performance at the “Cuba Rocks For Peace” concert at Havana’s Salon Rosado de la Tropical.
• Elvis Costello – Sunday he embarks on a brief solo “Detour”, which will take him to 13 cities starting in Boulder CO and ending March 18 in Ft Lauderdale FL.
• Fifth Harmony – Tonight their “2015 Reflection Tour” begins in San Francisco CA, with dates booked through March 27th in Philadelphia PA. The trek supports their new “Reflection” album.
• Garth Brooks – “The Garth Brooks World Tour” rolls on, with the 2nd of 2 weekends at Joe Louis Arena in Detroit MI tonight and tomorrow. As usual, Trisha Yearwood is also on the bill.
• Lady Antebellum – Saturday their “Wheels Up 2015” tour takes off in Oslo, Norway and wends its way through Sweden, Ireland, Scotland, the UK, and Australia before the North American leg begins on May 1st in Lubbock TX (w/Hunter Hayes, Sam Hunt).

• “Focus” ( R-Rated Crime Comedy ): In this tale of ex-lovers and double-crossing con artists, Will Smith stars as a veteran con-man whose latest scheme is thrown for a loop when a woman from his past shows up, now an accomplished femme fatale. Co-stars Margot Robbie, Rodrigo Santoro, Adrian Martinez.
• “The Lazarus Effect” ( PG-13 Thriller ): Olivia Wilde stars in this retro-sounding story about a group of medical students who discover a way to bring dead patients back to life. It’s been described as a creepy cross between “Flatliners” and “Pet Cemetery”. Co-stars Mark Duplass, Evan Peters, Sarah Bolger.
• “Maps To the Stars” ( R-Rated Drama ): Director David Cronenberg’s latest premiered at the 2014 Cannes Film Festival. It follows a Hollywood family chasing celebrity, one another, and the ghosts of their pasts. Stars Julianne Moore, Mia Wasikowska, Robert Pattinson, John Cusack.
• Opening in limited release: “Everly” (Action Thriller); ” My Life Directed by Nicolas Winding Refn” (Documentary); and “’71” (Action Thriller).

Imagine waking up to Godzilla’s giant eyeball peering into your bedroom. That’s the terrifying opportunity the Hotel Gracery in Tokyo, Japan’s Shinjuku neighborhood is about to offer guests beginning April 24th. The hotel, located above Toho Cinema, will celebrate its grand opening by installing a large Godzilla head on its lower roof deck. A handful of rooms will also be themed around the world’s most famous city-destroying monster. In the honeymoon suite, for instance, a romantic couple can enjoy the company of a human-sized Godzilla statue, and savor the tingles elicited by a humongous Godzilla hand that threatens to smash them into their bridal bed. (Likely the only ‘monster’ that’ll show up on your honeymoon.)

Our senses have warning systems to alert us to possible dangers. A bitter taste warns us away from poisons. A putrid smell alerts us that food may not be safe to eat. Our eyes close automatically when exposed to a flash of light. Pain receptors in our skin warn us to pull away from something hot. But what about hearing? Northwestern University researchers think they have discovered a pain receptor system in the ears, and it may be why we instinctively put our fingers in our ears or clap our hands over them when we hear an ambulance or a jackhammer or other loud noise. It’s thought a neural pathway from the inner ear to the brain may serve as an auditory alarm system. Studies show its neurons aren’t activated by normal levels of sound, only by noxious or dangerous noise. (Aunt Agnes letting out a belly laugh, for instance.)

Hippos and whales are cousins.
– “Discovery Magazine”


1971 [44] Rozonda ‘Chilli’ Thomas, Atlanta GA, pop singer (TLC-“Unpretty”, “No Scrubs”)

1981 [34] Josh Groban, LA CA, pop singer/operatic baritone (“Brave”, “You Raise Me Up”)

1983 [32] Jared Champion, Bowling Green KY, rock drummer (Cage The Elephant-“Come a Little Closer”, “Shake Me Down”)

1983 [32] Kate Mara, Bedford NY, TV actress (“House of Cards” 2013-14, ”American Horror Story” 2011) UP NEXT: Plays ‘Invisible Woman’ in “The Fantastic Four”, opening August 7th.

Comedian/actor Gilbert Gottfried (“A Million Ways to Die In the West”) is 60; Movie actor John Turturro (“Transformers: Dark Of the Moon”) is 58; Pop singer Pat Monahan (Train) is 46;  Country singer Jason Aldean (“Burnin’ It Down”) is 38.

Movie director Ron Howard (“Da Vinci Code”) is 61; TV actor George Eads (“CSI”) is 48; Movie actor Javier Bardem (“Skyfall”) 46; Pop-rock guitarist Ryan Peake (Nickelback) is 42; Pop singer Ke$ha (“Timber”) is 28; Movie actress Lupita Nyong’o (“12 Years a Slave”) is 22; Pop singer Justin Bieber (“Baby”) is 21.

• “International Polar Bear Day”, as declared by non-profit conservation group Polar Bears International to heighten awareness of the declining population of the big white guys of the Far North.
• “No Brainer Day”, when we’re encouraged to slack off. Any activity attempted should be something done without serious thought … a ‘no brainer’ activity.

• “International Floral Design Day”, focusing on the art of flower arranging, both as a profession and as a hobby.
• “Open That Bottle Night” … you know, the one that’s gathering dust in your wine cellar, or maybe that 20-year-old bottle of Scotch you were given as a gift. What are you saving it for?
• “Rare Disease Day”, established in 2008 as an annual observance on the last day of February to raise awareness of rare diseases and improve access to treatment. A disease is ‘rare’ in Europe when it affects less than 1-in-2,000; in the USA if it affects fewer than 200,000 in total.
• “Tooth Fairy Day”, honoring the devious dental donor who leaves money under kids’ pillows for lost teeth. No one knows the origin for sure but there was a fairytale In 18th-century France about a ‘tooth mouse’ who hides under pillows. While average kids now get paid over $2 for prime enamel, 10% of children who tuck a tooth beneath their bolster get … nothing.

• “Horse Protection Day”, to raise awareness about the abuse, neglect, homelessness, and slaughter of horses and to promote adoption events to help unwanted horses find a home.
• “Namesake Day”, kicking off “Celebrate Your Name Week”, a day to research the origin of your name and reflect on whomever you may be named after.
• “Peanut Butter Lovers’ Day”, a good day to have phone contestants try a tongue twister with a mouthful of smooth or crunchy. BS FACTOID: “USA Today” reports new evidence suggests that feeding peanuts to babies might help them beat peanut allergies.
• “Pig Day”, honoring the ‘most intelligent and useful of domesticated animals’. Studies show pigs are much smarter than horses (… but harder to ride).
• “Plan a Solo Vacation Day”, to inspire singles to spice up their lives by checking out solo travel options. What’s the biggest thing that would dissuade you from traveling on your own?
• “St David’s Day” in Wales. The Welsh celebrate their patron saint by taking a leek … and wearing it.

2013 [02] Former NBA star Dennis Rodman makes headlines for his attendance at a basketball game in North Korea with his controversial pal, North Korean leader Kim Jung Un

1980 [35] “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor wins the first – and last – Grammy ever awarded for ‘Best Disco Recording’

2003 [12] Oprah Winfrey becomes the 1st African-American woman to make the “Forbes” magazine annual list of billionaires

2014 [01] Italy’s Arturo Licata is named Guinness World Records ‘Oldest Living Man’ at 111 years and 302 days (then dies April 24th)

[Mar 2] Dr Seuss Day / Fun Facts About Names Day
[Mar 3] I Want You To Be Happy Day / International Ear Care Day / World Wildlife Day / Unique Names Day
[Mar 4] Courageous Follower Day / March Forth-Do Something Day / Grammar Day / Toy Soldier Day / Discover What Your Name Means Day / Purim begins at sundown (Jewish)
[Mar 5] Full ‘Worm’ Moon / Absinthe Day / Name Tag Day / World Book Day
[Mar 6] “Chappie” opens in movie theaters / Day Of the Dude / Oreo Cookie Day / Employee Appreciation Day / Middle Name Pride Day / Day of Unplugging / Dress in Blue Day
[Mar 7] Cereal Day / Be Heard Day / Frozen Food Day
[Mar 8] Daylight Saving Time begins / Genealogy Day / Girls Write Now Day / International Women’s Day / Proofreading Day / Check Your Batteries Day
[Mar 9] Fill Our Staplers Day / Get Over It Day / Napping Day / Panic Day
[Mar 10] International Bagpipe Day / International Day of Awesomeness / Land Line Telephone Day / Mario Day / Organize Your Home Office Day / Salvation Army Day
[Mar 11] World Plumbing Day / Registered Dietitian Day
[Mar 12] World Kidney Day
[Mar 13] “Cinderella”; “The Fear Project” open in movie theaters / Digital Learning Day / Donald Duck Day / K-9 Veterans Day / Open an Umbrella Indoors Day / Smart & Sexy Day / World Sleep Day
[Mar 14] Lollapalooza Chile begins (Santiago) / International Ask a Question Day / International Day of Action for Rivers / International Fanny Pack Day / Ballroom Dancing Day / Potato Chip Day / Pi Day / Steak & BJ Day
[Mar 15] Canada’s Juno Awards (Hamilton ON) / Ides of March / International Day of Action Against Canadian Seal Slaughter / True Confessions Day / World Consumer Rights Day
[Mar 16] “Dancing With the Stars” season debut (ABC) / Freedom of Information Day / Lips Appreciation Day / No Selfies Day / Well-Elderly Day
[Mar 17] “One Big Happy” debuts (NBC) / St Patrick’s Day / Irish Coffee Day
[Mar 18] “Hockey Wives” debuts (W) / Awkward Moments Day / Forgive Mom & Dad Day / Kick Butts Day / Agriculture Day / Biodiesel Day
[Mar 19] Companies That Care Day / Chocolate Caramel Day / Absolutely Incredible Kid Day
[Mar 20] “Insurgent”; “Persistence of Memory” open in movie theaters / Spring begins / Alien Abduction Day / Atheist Pride Day / Great American Meat Out Day / International Astrology Day / International Day of Happiness / French Language Day / Kiss Your Fiancée Day / Proposal Day / Snowman Burning Day / World Storytelling Day
[Mar 21] 26th GLAAD Media Awards (Los Angeles) / Lollapalooza Argentina begins (Buenos Aires) / Brain Injury Awareness Day / International Day For the Elimination of Racial Discrimination / Corn Dog Day / International Day of Forests & The Tree / Nowruz / International Sports Car Racing Day / Common Courtesy Day / Day of Action On Syringe Exchange / Quilting Day / Renewable Energy Day / Single Parent Day / World Down Syndrome Day
[Mar 22] As Young As You Feel Day / International Day Of the Seal / International Goof-off Day / World Day for Water
[Mar 23] Puppy Day / World Meteorological Day
[Mar 24] Chocolate Covered Raisins Day / World Tuberculosis Day
[Mar 25] International Day of Remembrance Of the Victims of Slavery / Manatee Appreciation Day / Pecan Day / Tolkien Reading Day
[Mar 26] “The Breakfast Club” re-opens in movie theaters / International Sister Cities Day / Legal Assistants Day / Make Up Your Own Holiday Day / Purple Day / Spinach Day
[Mar 27] “Gone by Dawn”; “Home”; “October Gale” open in movie theaters / Celebrate Exchange Day / Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day / Viagra Day
[Mar 28] “Kids Choice Awards” (Nickelodeon) / “Katy Perry’s Prismatic World Tour” (EPIX) / Lollapalooza Brasil begins (São Paulo) / Be Mad Day / Weed Appreciation Day / Earth Hour
[Mar 29] 2015 iHeartRadio Music Awards (Los Angeles) / Mothering Sunday (UK) / Mom & Pop Business Owners Day
[Mar 30] “Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber” airs / “The Emperor Of all Maladies: A Biography of Cancer” begins (PBS) / Doctors Day / I Am in Control Day / Pencil Day / World Bipolar Day
[Mar 31] Bunsen Burner Day / She’s Funny That Way Day


✓ Our celebrity spokesperson starred in some of your favorite movies, theirs is a deadbeat dad (or so we heard).
✓ We let our 8-year-old employees have a break every 6 hours.
✓ 4-out-of-5 dentists have never filed a lawsuit against us.
✓ The lowest percentage of rat droppings … period.
✓ Our headquarters in the Caymans means we pay less taxes, so you pay less for our product.
✓ Companies like Boeing, Ford, GE, Viacom, and Walmart all have employees who have seen commercials for our products.
✓ Animal testing shows only slight genetic modifications.
✓ Focus-group approved, European-sounding name.

After 12 years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, “No hablo inglés.”

☎ What’s your must-have small appliance in the kitchen? (Topping a Snapshot poll: toaster, slow cooker, hand-mixer, and blender.)

Question:  A new survey says the average person has only 4 of THESE.
Answer: Friends they can trust.

Anyone who starts a sentence “With all due respect …” is about to insult you.

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