Monday, February 28, 2011           Edition: #4451
Monthly Planning Calendar in Today’s Issue!

• Now unemployed actor Charlie Sheen is reportedly hunting for a publishing deal to release his memoirs, tentatively titled “When The Laughter Stopped”. Sheen says he will reveal all about behind-the-scenes events but wants negotiations with publishers to start at … $10 million.
• Meantime, reports surfaced Friday that producers will not be paying Sheen for the balance of the season of “Two-and-a-Half Men” due to his ‘conduct & condition’. But Sheen tells interviewer Pat O’Brien that he WILL be paid and defeat is not an option. Quote: “Find the most comfortable seat in the house, lean back and watch … it’s about to get really gnarly.”
• M Night Shyamalan’s “The Last Airbender” cleaned up Saturday night at the 31st annual “Golden Raspberry Awards” with 5 trophies, easily outpacing “Sex & The City 2” (3), “Valentine’s Day” (2), “Little Fockers” and “Twilight Saga: Eclipse” (1 apiece). Shyamalan’s career was also ‘honored’ during the spoof awards ‘In Memoriam’ segment. The ‘Razzies’ celebrate the worst Hollywood movie offerings each year. Unlike last year when Sandra Bullock showed up, no celebrity had the cojones to appear in the flesh at this year’s event.
– QMI Agency
• Last night’s ‘after-parties’ following the “Academy Awards” included the glamorous “Vanity Fair” party at the Sunset Tower Hotel, another bash hosted by singer Madonna & actress Demi Moore at the home of the pop queen’s manager Guy Oseary; and Oscars co-host James Franco’s late night get-together at Hollywood’s Supper Club, which was expected to draw a huge crowd.
• Former “Frasier” star Kelsey Grammer, just 18 days past his latest divorce, said ‘I do’ once again Friday in a Broadway marriage to wife #4. The 56-year-old “Tony Award” nominee exchanged vows with British flight attendant Kayte Walsh (29) on the Longacre Theater stage, where he just finished a critically praised run in “La Cage Aux Folles”.
• And movie star Brad Pitt arrived at LAX Saturday wearing a diamond pendant that actress-partner Angelina Jolie personally designed for him. She’s launching a new line of bling called ‘The Style of Jolie’ with London jeweler Robert Procop, and created the special pendant with a secret, hidden message lasered on. Unlike the one she once gave her ex, Billy Bob Thornton, this one contains no blood.

• “The Bachelor” (ABC/CityTV) – Brad & the 3 remaining contestants travel to South Africa; Brad chooses the final two.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Fitz & The Tantrums (“Pickin’ Up The Pieces”).
• “The Event” (NBC) – Oscar-nominated actress Virginia Madsen joins the cast as the sci-fi drama returns after a 3-month hiatus. It follows a group of extra-terrestrials detained by the US government.
• “Gayle King” (OWN) – Justin Bieber (“Never Say Never”).
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Rerun of the “Polar Bears Special”, featuring Chantal Kreviazuk; Raine Maida (Our Lady Peace).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Esperanza Spalding (“Chamber Music Society”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Off! (“First Four EPs”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Glasser (“Ring”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Zac Brown Band (“You Get What You Give”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Michael Franti (“The Sound of Sunshine”).

• Celine Dion – For Las Vegas’ 100th anniversary, “Nevada” magazine has compiled a list of the all-time most influential artists on the Vegas Strip. Dion shares the spotlight with Cirque du Soleil, Frank Sinatra, and Elvis Presley. She’s is set to debut her new show at The Colosseum on March 15th and recession-wracked Vegas is happy she’s back.
• Elton John – The first ‘play date’ for his new baby son Zachary was with the twin sons of “How I Met Your Mom” star Neil Patrick Harris, Harper & Gideon. Harris was apparently one of the first to congratulate Elton & partner David Furnish on the arrival of their tot via a surrogate mother in December. His twins with partner David Burtka are 2 months older.
• Eminem – He’s surpassed Lady Gaga with 28.88 million ‘likes’ on Facebook, making him the most liked living artist. At 29.1 million, Michael Jackson remains the most ‘liked’ artist overall.
• Justin Bieber – For the past few months while in LA, he’s been sweating it out at daily hour-and-a-half dance lessons at Hollywood CA studio Millennium, the same place where Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, and Miley Cyrus have attended classes.
• Lady Gaga – The official release date and time for the premiere of her “Born This Way” video has been announced as today at 11 am EST on Perez Hilton’s website. She says she’s also putting together a stripped-down version that will be released on iTunes, with a portion of sales earmarked for an anti-bullying charity.
• Motley Crue – On Friday, Vince Neil walked free from Clark County Detention Center in Nevada, after serving just 10 days of his 15-day sentence for a DUI charge. He’ll now spend 15 days under house arrest as part of his sentence.
• Taylor Swift – She’s prompted speculation she’s dating “Glee” actor Chord Overstreet (‘Sam Evans‘) after attending a Los Angeles Kings NHL hockey game with him in LA.

CREATIVE EXCUSES: says the most common excuses we give for being late at work are ‘traffic problems’, ‘sleep issues’, ‘bad weather’, and ‘issues transporting our children’. However, a recent online survey of some 2,500 employers has turned up some more unusual excuses …
• A tardy employee called in to say he’d be 2 hours late because his car was infested with bees.
• One ingenious worker claimed he was on-time; it was the company clock that was wrong.
• A late commuter produced a note about public transportation difficulties signed by ‘The Bus Driver’.
• And a female worker who arrived late used the excuse that her ‘karma was out of sync’.

A new ranking of music’s highest earners over the past year, based on each artist’s share of revenue generated (rounded off to nearest hundred-thousand) …
10. Metallica … $25.5 million.
9. Kenny Chesney … $26.6 million.
8. Coldplay … $27.3 million.
7. Jonas Bros … $33.6 million.
6. Pink … $36.3 million.
5. Britney Spears … $38.9 million.
4. AC/DC … $43.7 million.
3. Madonna … $47.2 million.
2. Bruce Springsteen … $57.6 million.
1. U2 … $108.6 million.
(As usual, touring is the prime fattener of recording artists’ bank accounts.)

Brain fitness can be enhanced by a combination of consuming dark chocolate and getting sufficient sleep. Those are among recommendations from the Neurological Foundation to  maintain a healthy brain. Why? Dark chocolate activates brain systems which assist it to learn better and retain more knowledge in memory. Plenty of sleep helps the brain effectively store new info in its long-term memory. The foundation also recommends incorporating fish into the diet and doing brain-busting activities to improve the organ’s function. (Videogames maybe?)

Last year 69 new toothpastes hit store shelves, down from 102 in 2007, according to  market-research firm Mintel. Why the decrease? An explosion of specialized toothpastes and gels seems to be confusing consumers. Some brag about their powers to whiten teeth, reduce plaque, curb sensitivity, and fight gingivitis; others claims to do all that at the same time. Add in all the flavors and sizes and the simple act of buying toothpaste turns into sensory overload. That’s the reason manufacturers are now putting the brakes on new product introductions. (Good old fashioned basic toothpaste, if you can find it, is still usually less than a buck.)
– “Wall Street Journal”

• England – A postcard from a First World War British soldier about to be shipped off to France has finally arrived, 95 years late. 19-year-old Alfred Arthur wrote the postcard to his sister Ellen in January 1916. He became a war casualty in 1918; his sister died in 1964. But the card has now finally been delivered … to the wrong house, across the street. (With £872,000 in postage owing.)
– “Globe & Mail”
• Germany – An armed robber is suing police in Aachen, after they paraded him down a street in his boxer shorts after a bungled bank robbery. He was handcuffed and marched down the road with his jeans around his ankles and his sweater over his head. His lawyer claims this is clearly a breach of human rights which caused the perp ‘needless humiliation and embarrassment’. (Likely more effective than a few days in the slammer.)
• Brazil – A woman in Parauapebas has been shocked to find her 3-year-old son behind the sofa … petting an alligator. The woman snatched the child away and called firefighters, who trapped the 1.5 m-long (5-ft) gator and released it in another area. The fire captain says the family was lucky the reptile wasn’t hungry as it could have seriously hurt or even killed the boy. (What do you yell when you spot a gator in your living room? Fire!)
– BBC News

The earliest-ever version of the board game ‘Monopoly’ has sold in a Sotheby’s auction for a whopping £90,360 (about $145,000). The set was one of 5,000 made in 1933 by inventor Charles Darrow and is the only one to have survived to this day. The dog-eared board is made of oilcloth in the form of a circle 33 inches in diameter. The game remained in the Darrow family until 1992 when it was acquired by the family of late publishing magnate Malcolm Forbes.

• Convicted Lockerbie bomber Abdelbaset al-Megrahi has reportedly requested to be returned from Libya to the prison in Scotland from where he was released … for his safety.
• In spite of their criticism of unions in Wisconsin, it’s been confirmed that leading right-wing pundits Bill O’Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, and Sean Hannity are all members of the American Federation of Television & Radio Artists union.


1948 [63] Bernadette Peters, Queens NY, Broadway actress/singer (“Gypsy”, Tony Award-“Annie Get Your Gun”)

1955 [56] Gilbert Gottfried, Brooklyn NY, comedian whose distinctive whiny voice has made him a living as a voice-over artist (“The Super Hero Squad Show: Green Goblin”, “Aladdin”)

1957 [54] John Turturro, Brooklyn NY, movie actor (“Transformers” films, “The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3”).

1969 [42] Pat Monahan, Erie PA, pop singer (Train-“Hey, Soul Sister “, “Drops Of Jupiter”)

1969 [42] Robert Sean Leonard, Westwood NJ, TV actor (‘Dr James Wilson’ on “House MD” since 2004)/Broadway actor (Tony Award-“The Invention of Love”)

1976 [35] Ali Larter, Cherry Hill NJ, movie actress (“Resident Evil” films, “Final Destination” films)/TV actress (“Heroes” 2006-10)

1977 [34] Jason Aldean, Macon GA, country singer (“My Kinda Party” , “She’s Country”)

1985 [26] Fefe Dobson, Toronto ON, pop singer (“Stuttering”, “Bye Bye Boyfriend”)

• “International Floral Design Day”, focusing on the art of flower arranging, both as a profession and as a hobby.

• “Public Sleeping Day”, saluting the luxurious treat of catching 20 winks on a subway, park bench, commuter train, on the beach or … on-the-job.

• “Rare Disease Day”, to raise awareness with policymakers and the public of rare diseases and their impact on the lives of so many. A disease or disorder is defined as rare in Europe when it affects less than 1-in-2000 people; and in the USA if it affects fewer than 200,000 in total.

• “Tooth Fairy Day”, honoring the tradition of bartering molars for moolah. Where’s it come from?  No one knows for sure but there was a fairy tale In 18th-century France about a ‘tooth mouse’ who hides under a pillow. The tooth fairy as we now know her didn’t make an appearance until the early 1900s as a generalized ‘good fairy’ with a professional specialization. So how much is she paying for prime enamel these days?

1983 [28] 106 million watch the 2.5-hour final episode of the Korean War comedy “M*A*S*H”, the most viewers ever for a single episode of a TV series (77% of the North American TV audience) which will likely never be topped due to the proliferation of cable & satellite channels (with 11 seasons, the series lasts 8 years longer than the actual Korean War)

1996 [15] “Jagged Little Pill” by Alanis Morissette wins “Grammy Award” as ‘Album Of the Year’

1998 [13] Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” hits #1 on the singles chart & sticks for 2 weeks

1854 [157] ‘Republican Party’ founded in Ripon WI (later that day … the 1st ‘union bashing’)

1940 [71] 1st ‘Televised Basketball Game’ (Fordham vs Pittsburgh at NYC’s MSG)

1977 [34] Canada’s federal government announces creation of new, publicly-owned passenger railway to be called ‘Via Rail’ (then starts tearing up railway tracks all across the country)

[Mar 1] Horse Protection Day / Pig Day / Plan a Solo Vacation Day
[Mar 2] Dr Seuss Day
[Mar 3] International Sister Cities Day / I Want You To Be Happy Day
[Mar 4] Employee Appreciation Day / International Scrapbooking Industry Day / March Forth-Do Something Day / Grammar Day / Toy Soldier Day / “The Adjustment Bureau”; “Beastly”; “Rango”; “Take Me Home Tonight” open in movie theaters
[Mar 6] “Celebrity Apprentice” season debut (NBC) / Namesake Day / Snowshoe Day / Daughters & Sons Day
[Mar 7] Be Heard Day / Fun Facts About Names Day / Clean Monday / Shrove Monday
[Mar 8] International Pancake Day / Mardi Gras / Day for Women’s Rights & International Peace / Girls Write Now Day / International Women’s Day / Organize Your Home Office Day / Unique Names Day / Napping Day
[Mar 9] Ash Wednesday / Barbie Day / Get Over It Day / Lent Begins / Panic Day / 24-Hour Global Marathon For, By & About Women in Engineering & Technology / Learn What Your Name Means Day / Registered Dietitian Day
[Mar 10] International Day of Awesomeness / Mario Day / Name Tag Day / Salvation Army Day / World Kidney Day
[Mar 11] Middle Name Pride Day / “Battle: Los Angeles”; “Mars Needs Moms”; “Red Riding Hood” open in movie theaters
[Mar 12] “Rascal Flatts: Nothing Like This” (ABC) / Genealogy Day / Girl Scout Day
[Mar 13] Donald Duck Day / International Fanny Pack Day / Good Samaritan Involvement Day / K-9 Veterans Day / Open An Umbrella Indoors Day / Check Your Batteries Day / Daylight Saving Time Begins
[Mar 14] Rock & Roll Hall of Fame 2011 Induction (NYC) / International Ask a Question Day / Potato Chip Day / Pi Day
[Mar 15] “Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark” opens on Broadway / Buzzards Day / Ides of March / True Confessions Day / World Consumer Rights Day / Napping Day
[Mar 16] “SXSW” begins (Austin TX) / Curlew Day / Freedom of Information Day / Lips Appreciation Day / St Urho’s Day
[Mar 17 Absolutely Incredible Kid Day / St Patrick’s Day
[Mar 18] Awkward Moments Day / Forgive Mom & Dad Day / Biodiesel Day / “Limitless”; “The Lincoln Lawyer”; “Paul” open in movie theaters
[Mar 19] Purim begins at sundown (Jewish) / World Sleep Day / “22nd GLAAD Media Awards” (NYC) / Full ‘Worm’ Moon / Corn Dog Day / Chocolate Caramel Day / Quilting Day
[Mar 20] Spring arrives / Snowman Burning Day / Maple Syrup Day / Holi (Hindu) / Atheist Pride Day / Kiss Your Fiancé Day / Proposal Day / Agriculture Day / Naw-Ruz (Persian New Year)
[Mar 21] International Day For the Elimination of Racial Discrimination / Common Courtesy Day /
World Down Syndrome Day
[Mar 22] As Young As You Feel Day / International Day of The Seal / International Goof-off Day / World Water Day
[Mar 23] Puppy Day / World Meteorological Day / Kick Butts Day
[Mar 24] Chocolate Covered Raisins Day / World Tuberculosis Day
[Mar 25] International Day of Remembrance of The Victims of Slavery / Pecan Day / Tolkien Reading Day / “Diary Of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules”; “The Lion of Judah”; “Sucker Punch” open in  movie theaters
[Mar 26] Legal Assistants Day
[Mar 27] “40th Juno Awards” (Toronto) / Celebrate Exchange Day / Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day / Viagra Day
[Mar 28] Weed Appreciation Day
[Mar 29] Knights of Columbus Founders Day / Mom & Pop Business Owners Day
[Mar 30] Doctors Day / Pencil Day
[Mar 31] Bunsen Burner Day / She’s Funny That Way Day
[Apr 1] April Fools Day
[Apr 2] “Lollapalooza” begins (Santiago, Chile)
[Apr 3] “46th Academy of Country Music Awards” (Las Vegas)


A highlight bit culled from 17 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
If you’re pregnant and don’t want ultrasound or MRI to confirm whether it’s a boy or girl, there are oodles of traditional ways to predict it. A sampling of oddball ways to do-it-yourself …
• Acne – If you have acne during pregnancy, it is said that you are carrying a girl.
• Ask a Child – Many believe that kids under 3-years-old are intuitive and can predict correctly.
• Carry a Baby – Tradition has it that an infant likes to be carried by a mother pregnant with the opposite of its own gender.
• Food Cravings – If you crave food with sour taste, you are carrying a boy. If you have a sweet tooth, you are carrying a girl.
• Foot Temperature – It’s said that you are carrying a boy if your feet are cold. And vice versa.
• Heartbeat – If your baby has a heart rate of 140 or more, it’s more likely to be a girl.
• Make-Up – If you’re pregnant with a boy, you tend to dislike wearing makeup and dressing up.
• Mayan Prediction – The ancient Mayans believed if you add the mother’s age at conception and the year of conception and it turns out to be an even number, it’s a girl.
• Nose – If your nose widens during pregnancy, it is said that you are having a boy.
• Ring – Hang a ring on a chain & place it over your palm. If it twirls in a circular motion, it’s a girl. If it cris-crosses, it’s a boy.
• Shape – You’re having a boy if your belly is round and out to the front. If your belly is wide to the sides, it’s a girl.
(Disclaimer: None of these methods has any scientific basis whatsoever. Fun though!)
– Adapted from

Remember the Golden Rule … first one into work Monday turns the clocks ahead one hour.

You can play all 27 different laughs on this soundboard with your mouse or your keyboard.

What’s the absolute weirdest home remedy or cure you’ve ever tried? Did it work?

Today’s Question: According to a recent study, 4 seconds is all it takes for THIS to happen.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Awkward silence. (

To change and change for the better are two different things.

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