Monday, February 29, 2016        Edition: #5636

Monthly Planning Calendar in Today’s “BS”!

★ The new TV channel Viceland debuts today in the US and Canada. Viceland is described as a boundary-pushing lifestyle channel, by and for socially-conscious young adults who’d like to change the world not just observe it. The creative director of the new venture is filmmaker Spike Jonze (“Where the Wild Things Are”). Many of the new shows on Viceland are getting a sneak peak tonight, including “Gaycation”, in which actress Ellen Page and her best friend Ian Daniel embark on a personal journey to explore LGBT cultures around-the-world.
★ 49-year-old actor-turned-director Tom McCarthy (“Spotlight”) is set to work on Selena Gomez’s new TV series “13 Reasons Why”. The singer/actress snapped up screen rights to Jay Asher’s 2007 novel a year ago and it has since been optioned by Netflix. The story follows a youth who discovers recordings made by his dead school crush. On the tapes, she details the 13 reasons she’s decided to end her life. McCarthy is helming the first 2 episodes as well as executive producing the entire 13-episode project.
★ And FOX-TV has renewed “Bones” for a 12th and final season, which will consist of an abbreviated 12-episode run instead of the usual 22. The long-running procedural program stars Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz. Season 11 of the series returns from midseason hiatus on Thursday, April 14th, followed by the debut of the new military-inspired competition series “American Grit”, starring the WWE’s John Cena.

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Rock veteran Peter Frampton (“Acoustic Classics”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Nada Surf (“You Know Who You Are”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Fifth Harmony (“Reflection”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Steve Martin & Edie Brickell (“So Familiar”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – In the Season 10 premiere, tag-team judge Christina Aguilera is back on the panel with Adam Levine, Blake Shelton, and Pharrell Williams. Miley Cyrus serves as a key advisor. Other advisors include alternating judge Gwen Stefani, Patti LaBelle, Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs, and Tori Kelly.

• Adele – Tonight the first leg of her “25” tour through the UK and Ireland begins in Belfast, Northern Ireland. It includes a 4-night stand at London’s O2 Arena. The 2nd leg runs through the rest of Europe from the end of April until mid-June.
• The Beatles – A rare early recording is going up for sale March 22nd. The 1962 record, featuring the songs “Till There Was You” and “Hello Little Girl”, was the last the band cut before rising to international fame. Omega Auctions estimates it will sell for upwards of $14,000.
• Dierks Bentley – “Somewhere On a Beach”, the lead single from his forthcoming 8th studio album “Black”, is the fastest rising of his career.
• DNCE – Joe Jonas’s band is opening for Selena Gomez on her 2016 “Revival Tour” that begins in Las Vegas May 6th and runs up to July 8th in Los Angeles.
• Eagles Of Death Metal – They’ve now scrapped the rest of their European tour so frontman Jesse Hughes can recover from a finger injury. They had been scheduled to perform in Treviso, Italy on Saturday and play further concerts in France and Spain. Earlier this month, they returned to Paris to play their 1st full concert since the November terror attacks at the Bataclan.
• Katy Perry – There’s a wild conspiracy theory circulating online that she’s really child murder victim JonBenet Ramsey (1990-96) and that Ramsey’s family faked her death in order to boost her career as a pop star. Sorry folks, the timeline is a little askew; Katy was born in 1984.
• Lorde – The 19-year-old singer and 37-year-old DJ Diplo are rumored to be dating after they were photo-ed holding hands and embracing following last week’s Brit Awards as they headed to an afterparty. Diplo previously dated MIA and has been more recently linked to Katy Perry.
• Metallica – They’ve been named the official ambassadors for this year’s Record Store Day, set for April 16th. The annual event champions independent record stores with special releases, primarily on vinyl.

Seems it’s still a good time to be 8. According to a recent poll of close to 18,000 children in 16 countries around-the-world, most 8-year-olds are happy with their lives as a whole. The UK-based Children’s World Survey also finds that 8-year-olds are more likely to enjoy going to school than older age groups. 62% say they like school, compared to just 42% of 12-year-olds. But the insights aren’t all positive. Many children report concerns about bullying, and over a third of the kids polled say they ‘often’ or ‘always’ worry about money. Additionally, while the majority of children report satisfaction with life, a full 6% report low well-being, which is a significant number considering how many children have been polled.
– Condensed from

A few Monday morning brain-busters to get you going …
✓ Jason’s mother had 3 children. The 1st child was named April. The 2nd child was named May. What was the 3rd child’s name? [Answer: Jason, of course.]
✓ The clerk at the butcher shop is 5′-10″ tall and wears size 13 shoes. What does he weigh? [Meat.]
✓ How much dirt is there in a hole that measures 2 feet by 3 feet by 4? [There is no dirt in a hole whatsoever.]
✓ What word in the English language is always spelled incorrectly? [‘Incorrectly’.]
✓ In Canada, you cannot photograph anybody with a wooden leg. Why not? [You need a camera/phone to take a picture, not a wooden leg.]

When Montenegro gained independence from Yugoslavia, its Internet domain name went from .yu to .me


1960 [14 or 56] Tony Robbins, North Hollywood CA, motivational speaker/author (“Awaken the Giant Within”)

1972 [11 or 44] Antonio Sabato Jr, Rome, Italy, TV actor (“The Bold & The Beautiful” 2005-06, “General Hospital” 1992-95)/fashion model (Calvin Klein)

1976 [10 or 40] Ja Rule (Jeffrey Atkins), Queens NY, rapper (“Livin’ It Up”, f/Ashanti-“Mesmerize”)/sometime movie actor (“The Fast & The Furious”)

1984 [8 or 32] Mark Foster, Cleveland OH, indie pop-rock musician (Foster the People-“Pumped Up Kicks”)

• “Leap Year Day”, the calendar correction that occurs every 4 years. A few facts …
– In Leap Years (aka ‘bissextile’ years), a day is added to bring our Gregorian calendar more into accord with Earth’s orbital period … roughly 365.2422 days.
– If we didn’t have Leap Year, our calendar would become so out-of-line it would need a major adjustment like in 1582, when Pope Gregory XIII declared October 5th to be October 15th and 10 entire days instantly disappeared.
– A person born on a Leap Day is called a ’29er’, a ‘leapling’ or a ‘leaper’. The odds of being born on February 29th are 1-in-1,461.
– Leap Day has often been celebrated as “Bachelors’ Day” or “Sadie Hawkins Day”, traditionally when girls can ask a guy out. The tradition of women proposing to men on this day dates all the way back to 5th-Century Ireland.
– On the Chinese calendar, this day only occurs in years of the ‘dragon’, ‘monkey’ (as is this year), or ‘rat’.
– Years that are divisible by 100 but not by 400, do NOT contain a leap day. So 1900, no; 2000, yes.
– In Greece, it is considered unlucky to marry on Leap Day.
– What is the official name for a non-Leap Year? It’s called a ‘Common Year’.
– The ‘Honor Society of Leap Year Day Babies’ is an association with several goals, including having Leap Day printed on calendars like holidays are.
– Every year in which Summer Olympics are held is coincidentally also a Leap Year.
– Leap Day effects us in many ways, ie: inmates serve an extra day in jail, but it’s unlikely your bank will give you an extra day’s interest. And this may make you want to take the day off … unless you get paid by the hour or per diem, you’re working for free today.

• “International Repetitive Strain Injuries Awareness Day”, the 16th annual sponsored by the Industrial Accident Prevention Association. The organization notes that while it takes a worker an average 47 days to recover from a broken bone, a worker suffering from an ‘RSI’, such as tendinitis or carpal tunnel syndrome, takes an average 52 days or 71 days, respectively.

• “International Underlings Day”, recognizing the insignificant peons that surround us. So buy your co-host a coffee.

• “Rare Disease Day”, established in 2008 as an annual observance on the last day of February to raise awareness for rare diseases and improve access to treatment. A disease or disorder is defined as rare in Europe when it affects less than 1-in-2000 people; and in the USA if it affects fewer than 200,000 in total.

• “Worldwide Leap Year Festival” in Anthony TX, the self-proclaimed ‘Leap Year Capital of the World’. Since 1988 ‘leapers’ have come from all over to celebrate their special birthday in this little town that sits on the border with New Mexico.

2004 [12] “The Lord Of the Rings: The Return Of the King” wins 11 Academy Awards, sweeping every category in which it’s nominated (ties the record haul of “Ben-Hur” and “Titanic”)

2012 [04] Former teen idol Davy Jones of The Monkees dies at age 66 from a heart attack

1996 [20] Calgary-based discount airline WestJet 1st takes to the skies

2012 [04] Tokyo Skytree is completed, the tallest tower in the world at 634 meters (2,080 feet) and 2nd-tallest man-made structure, next to the Burj Khalifa (Dubai UAE)

[Mar 1] Peace Corps Day / Horse Protection Day / Peanut Lovers Day / Pig Day / Plan a Solo Vacation Day / Refired, Not Retired Day / Saint David’s Day / World Compliment Day / Zero Discrimination Day
[Mar 2] Dr Seuss Day / American Music Prize announced
[Mar 3] I Want You to Be Happy Day / International Ear Care Day / World Book Day / World Wildlife Day
[Mar 4] “House of Cards” 4th season debut (Netflix) / “Loretta Lynn: Still a Mountain Girl” (PBS) / Courageous Follower Day / Dress in Blue Day / Employee Appreciation Day / National Day of Unplugging / March Forth-Do Something Day / Grammar Day / “London Has Fallen”; “Whiskey Tango Foxtrot”; “Zootopia” open in movie theaters
[Mar 5] Frozen Food Day / Absinthe Day
[Mar 6] Day of The Dude / Daughters & Sons Day / Namesake Day / Oreo Cookie Day / Girl Scout Sunday / Mothering Sunday (UK)
[Mar 7] Cereal Day / Fun Facts About Names Day / Be Heard Day
[Mar 8] “Of Kings & Prophets” series premiere (ABC) / “Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD” season debut (ABC) / International Women’s Day / Girls Write Now Day / Proofreading Day / Peanut Cluster Day / Organize Your Home Office Day / Unique Names Day
[Mar 9] Barbie Day / Discover What Your Name Means Day / Get Over It Day / Registered Dietitian Day
[Mar 10] International Bagpipe Day / International Day of Awesomeness / Mario Day / Name Tag Day / World Kidney Day
[Mar 11] South by Southwest Film Festival begins (Austin TX) / “Flaked” series premiere (Netflix) / Middle Name Pride Day / World Plumbing Day / World Sleep Day / “The Brothers Grimsby”; “The Perfect Match”; “10 Cloverfield Lane” open in movie theaters
[Mar 12] “Kids’ Choice Awards” (Nickelodeon) / Genealogy Day / International Fanny Pack Day / Urban Ballroom Dancing Day
[Mar 13] Canadian Screen Awards (Toronto ON) / Daylight Saving Time begins / Check Your Batteries Day / Digital Learning Day / Donald Duck Day / Earmuffs Day / K-9 Veterans Day / Open An Umbrella Indoors Day / Smart & Sexy Day
[Mar 14] Fill Our Staplers Day / International Ask a Question Day / International Day of Action for Rivers / Napping Day / Potato Chip Day / Pi Day
[Mar 15] Buzzards Day / Ides of March / International Day of Action Against Canadian Seal Slaughter / Agriculture Day / Shoe the World Day / True Confessions Day / World Consumer Rights Day
[Mar 16] “Nashville” season premiere (ABC) / “The Life & Songs of Kris Kristofferson” (Nashville TN) / Freedom of Information Day / Brain Injury Awareness Day / Kick Butts Day / Lips Appreciation Day / No Selfies Day / St Urho’s Day
[Mar 17] St Patrick’s Day / Absolutely Incredible Kid Day / Companies That Care Day / Irish Coffee Day
[Mar 18] Awkward Moments Day / Forgive Mom & Dad Day / Biodiesel Day / “The Bounce Back”; “The Divergent Series: Allegiant”; “Midnight Special” open in movie theaters
[Mar 19] Corn Dog Day / Earth Hour / International Sports Car Racing Day / Poultry Day / Quilting Day
[Mar 20] Spring arrives / Alien Abduction Day / Atheist Pride Day / Great American Meat-out Day / International Astrology Day / International Day of Happiness / Kiss Your Fiancée Day / Naw-Ruz (Persian) / Proposal Day / World Storytelling Day
[Mar 21] International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination / International Day of Forests & The Tree / Memory Day / Common Courtesy Day / Day of Action on Syringe Exchange / Renewable Energy Day / Single Parent Day / Poetry Day / Twitter Day / Well-Elderly Day / World Down Syndrome Day
[Mar 22] As Young As You Feel Day / International Day Of the Seal / Goof-off Day / World Water Day
[Mar 23] Full ‘Worm’ Moon / Holi (Hindu) / Puppy Day / Tamale Day / Near-Miss Day / World Meteorological Day
[Mar 24] “The Catch” series debut (ABC) / Chocolate Covered Raisins Day / Purim (Jewish) / World Tuberculosis Day
[Mar 25] Good Friday (Christian) / International Day of Remembrance Of the Victims of Slavery / International Day of Solidarity with Detained & Missing Staff Members / Pecan Day / Tolkien Reading Day / Waffle Day / World Marbles Day / “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice”; “The Disappointments Room”; “My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2”; “I Saw the Light” open in movie theaters
[Mar 26] International Sister Cities Day / Legal Assistants Day / Make Up Your Own Holiday Day / Purple Day / Spinach Day
[Mar 27] Easter Sunday / Plum Pudding Day / Celebrate Exchange Day / Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day / Viagra Day
[Mar 28] Be Mad Day / Dyngus Day / Virtual Advocacy Day / Weed Appreciation Day
[Mar 29] Mom & Pop Business Owners Day
[Mar 30] “Empire” season debut (FOX) / Doctors Day / Manatee Appreciation Day / World Bi-polar Day
[Mar 31] David Bowie Tribute Concert (NYC) / Bunsen Burner Day / She’s Funny That Way Day


A highlight bit culled from 22 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
There are about 4 million people worldwide who were born on February 29th. Some of the advantages they share …
• Your house isn’t all cluttered up with thoughtful birthday gifts.
• You can still pay children’s price at the movies.
• Lack of birthday cake has kept you relatively thin.
• Dumb people think you’re supernatural.
• How many other people get a car on their 4th birthday?
• Between your birthday and Groundhog Day, February’s a non-stop party!
– First published in “BS” 2012.

Donald Trump, revoiced … as a gay man. Same words, different inflection.

☎ What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

A woman walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It’s a shitzu.

Question: If you’re in a relationship, you probably did THIS for about 4 hours last month.
Answer: Argued.

Some people don’t have the discipline to relax.

SportsGuy Mike Luper @ AM 1340 KDCO Denver CO; Kirsten Ralko @ 99.9 Sun FM [CHSU] Kelowna BC; James Sorge @ B98.5 [WBBO] Ocean County NJ; Mike Nzioka @ 105.5 FM Nairobi, Kenya; Cale Tharp @ 94.3 The Wolf [WULF] Elizabethtown KY; Steve Anthony @ 99.3 County FM [CJPE] Picton ON; Brian Ross @ Y101.3 [KKYY] Sioux City IA; Larry Denor @ Vibes FM Lagos, Nigeria; and Freddie Brooks @ WJBB [The Voice of Barrow County & The 316 Corridor] Bethleham GA.

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