Thursday, February 3, 2011        Edition: #4439
Here’s More Bull Roar!

38-year-old actress Gwyneth Paltrow is set to sing again, performing a cleaned-up version of “F— You” at this year’s Grammy Awards (February 13th) alongside Cee Lo Green and (huh?) The Muppets (why won’t she go away?) . . . Reality TV star Kim Kardashian (“Kourtney & Kim Take New York”) has vowed to ‘never pose nude again’ after accusing “W Magazine” of failing to depict her ample, silver-painted body tastefully (you took your clothes off in front of a camera – what did you expect?) . . . 50-year-old “Glee” star Jane Lynch will discuss her sexuality and her battle with alcoholism (from age 14-to-31) in her autobiography “Happy Accidents”, set be released in September (the happiest accident has got to be “Glee”) . . . The $30-million mini-series “The Kennedys”, starring Greg Kinnear & Katie Holmes, that was axed from the History Channel in America (thanks to complaints from real-life Kennedys) will now be shown on cable network ReelzChannel (uh, where the heck dat?) . . . And “Golden Globes” organizers are saying that irreverent Brit comedian Ricky Gervais is lying when he says they’ve asked him to host their gala again, leading Gervais to clarify that it was an NBC-TV executive who told him ‘don’t rule out a 3rd gig’ (a snowball’s chance in Hollywood of that happening!).

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Interpol (“Interpol”).
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Vanilla Ice (aka Robert VanWinkle).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – One EskimO (“One Eskimo”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Off! (“First Four EPs”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Ricky Martin (“Musica + Alma + Sexo”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Naughty By Nature (“Anthem Inc”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Justin Bieber (“Never Say Never”, opening February 11th).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – OK Go (“Of the Blue Colour Of the Sky”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Bobby Long (“A Winter Tale”).

• Arcade Fire – Filmmaker Vincent Moon, who recently completed a tour documentary about the group called “Miroir Noir”, has blurted out that they’re ‘not good people’ and they’re not an indie band as they’ve been marketed, but a mainstream concern making things on a very big level.
• Kanye West – He’s set to play the bad guy in “The Black Mamba”, a promotional movie for NBA superstar Kobe Bryant’s new line of Nike sneakers. Directed by Robert Rodriguez (“Sin City”), the project will also star Bruce Willis & Danny Trejo (“Machete”). It premieres online February 19th.
• Katy Perry – It’s been announced the opening dance number by the ‘Cheerios’ in the much-hyped post-Super Bowl “Glee” episode is set to Perry’s “California Gurls” and promises ‘more bikinis than “Jersey Shore”.’
• Mariah Carey – She & hubby Nick Cannon are expecting a boy & a girl when their twins are born in April. Canon says they’ll be given ‘unique names’ … but nothing crazy like ‘Carburetor’.
• Rihanna – Her spicy video “S&M”, which has been classified ‘inappropriate for viewers under 18’ on YouTube, is now posted in an unrestricted version on her website. Meantime, MTV has announced her “Rude Boy” was the most played music video on MTV channels around-the-world in 2010, with over 20,000 screenings.
• Rolling Stones – According to “Hollywood Reporter”, a potential new Stones tour is a sticking point in a lawsuit between tour promoter Michael Cohl and Live Nation. As part of the suit, Cohl alleges his former employer attempted to ‘destroy’ his chance to promote a 2011 Stones tour.
• U2 – They could potentially be releasing a new album in May, according to the German site. No official release date for a new project has officially been announced, but the German version of Amazon lists it as May 27th.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Gambit” – Colin Firth (“The King’s Speech”) & Cameron Diaz (“The Green Hornet”) are set to star in a remake of the 1966 film about a British art curator who tries to con a wealthy collector into buying a phony Monet painting. The movie will start shooting in London in May.
• “Invasion Earth!” – This alien invasion concept is being pitched as both a feature film & videogame. The story revolves around an astronaut who, after years of isolation in space, returns to a chaotic Earth where mankind is suddenly at the bottom of the food-chain.
• “Lidsville” – DreamWorks Animation is developing a bigscreen 3-D version of Sid & Marty Krofft’s characters from the 1970s TV series about a rebellious kid who falls into an alternate reality world of living hats and talking caps. It will be the first Krofft series made into a movie.
• “RIPD” – Zach Galifianakis (“Dinner for Schmucks”) is in negotiations to join Ryan Reynolds in this supernatural thriller about a police force called the ‘Rest In Peace Department’, made up of … dead officers. A recently-slain cop joins the force in order to find the man that murdered him.
• “Snow White & The Huntsman” – “Twilight Saga” star Kristen Stewart has been approached to play the lead in a fantasy film adaptation of the popular fairy tale. Charlize Theron has already been cast as the evil queen, and Viggo Mortensen has been linked to the ‘Huntsman’ role.

5. Miranda Kerr (Victoria’s Secret model & Mrs Orlando Bloom).
4. Selita Ebanks (“Sports Illustrated”, Victoria’s Secret fashion model).
3. Sofia Vergara (“Modern Family”).
2. Mila Kunis (“Black Swan”).
1. Blake Lively (“Gossip Girl”, Ben Affleck’s “The Town”).

• The price of gas is soaring in the African country of Malawi … but it’s not the kind you use to run a car! The government is planning to fine people who fart in public. It’s unclear how they’ll identify a culprit in a large crowd.
• She must have really ticked him off! A British immigration officer has been fired after it was discovered he’d placed his wife on the terrorist watch list so she couldn’t fly home from a trip aborad. When she called him he promised to look into it, but instead left her stuck in Pakistan … for 3 years.
• She didn’t have to go far to file a claim! A woman has accidentally crashed her car into the same Tampa FL insurance office that issued her policy. No one in the building was hurt, but the woman suffered minor injuries. It’s not known if the agency plans to renew her policy.
• At this grocery store, you can shop for a mate! Customers at Britain’s ASDA supermarkets can now sign up for a dating service right at the store. They’re asked 30 questions about their favorite foods, and the answers are used to generate potential matches.

The ‘Campaign to End Loneliness’ is being organized by a consortium of non-profit groups in the UK. Their claim is that loneliness is the ‘hidden killer’ of the elderly which threatens health as much as obesity or smoking. They say the emotional cost may be known, but the physical damage has been neglected. Stats show almost 1-in-10 elderly people suffers ‘intense’ loneliness, leading to increased depression, lack of exercise, and poor eating habits. (Call mom … right now.)

Experts say these foods, drinks, and herbs can ease cold & flu symptoms and may even cut your suffering short …
• Liquids – Cold & flu bugs thrive in dried-out throats and nasal passages, but drinking plenty of fluids throughout the day can help keep your mucous membranes moist so they’re better able to trap viruses. Aim for 8 glasses of water or other fluids a day, more if you have a fever.
• Spices – Cinnamon, coriander, and ginger promote sweating and have traditionally been used to help break a fever. Cayenne, horseradish, and wasabi can shrink the blood vessels in your nose and throat to temporarily relieve congestion.
• Garlic – The pungent cloves contain allicin, a potent anti-microbial that can fend off bacteria, viruses, and fungi. If you can stand it, chew a clove every 3-to-4 hours. You can also cut the cloves into pieces and swallow them like pills.
• Chicken Soup – Grandma’s favorite cold-fighter is a good one though  researchers are just beginning to figure out why it may work. What is known is that it raises the temperature in your nose & throat; thins out mucus; and inhibits white blood cells that cause congestion.
– “Food Cures”

A dog owned by Japanese medical researchers has a remarkable gift for detecting colon cancer victims by … sniffing their excrement. In a recent study, the retriever performed as well as a colonoscopy. It correctly spotted which samples were cancerous and which were not in 95% of 36 breath tests and in 98% of stool tests. (Yeah, but it has a really, really depressing life.)
– “Popular Science”

A new ranking of the best-ever pigskin pics to get you in the mood for Sunday’s Super Bowl …
5. “Rudy” (1993).
4. “The Program” (1993).
3. “Varsity Blues” (1999).
2. “Remember the Titans” (2000).
1. “Any Given Sunday” (1999).

• With more than 18% of adults suffering from an anxiety disorder in any given year, the USA is now the most anxious nation in the world, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. (The good news is, depression has slipped to #2.)
• Most marital arguments are said to take place within 15 minutes of spouses walking in the door. (Walmart has greeters, why not your house?)
– “More Magazine”
• In a survey of 275 corporations, only 8% say they include the word ‘fun’ as part of their mission statement. (“Here at Macabre & Sons Funeral Home our mission is …”)


1956 [55] Nathan Lane, Jersey City NJ, Broadway actor (“The Producers”, “Guys & Dolls”)/movie actor (“Swing Vote”, “The Birdcage”)

1965 [46] Maura Tierney, Boston MA, movie actress (“Baby Mama”, “Semi-Pro”)/TV actress (“ER” 2000-08)

1976 [35] Isla [‘EYE-luh’] Fisher, Muscat, Oman, movie actress (“Confessions Of a Shopaholic”, “Wedding Crashers”)/wed to comedian-actor Sacha Baron Cohen since 2010

1982 [29] Jessica Harp, Kansas City MO, country singer (The Wreckers-“Leave the Pieces”)

1990 [21] Sean Kingston (Kisean Anderson), Miami FL, reggae/pop singer/rapper (“Fire Burning”, “Beautiful Girls”)

• “Chinese New Year” celebrations begin, according to the Chinese lunar calendar. It’s a ‘Year Of the Rabbit’, the 4th symbol of the Chinese Zodiac. That promises a placid year, very much welcomed after the ferocious ‘Year Of the Tiger’. People born in a Rabbit year (Western counterpart – Pisces) are said to be articulate, talented, and ambitious. They are also virtuous, reserved, and have excellent taste.

• “Risshun”, the “Setsubun” (season starting) festival before Spring in Japan, when the male head of the household throws roasted soybeans either out the door or at a member of the family wearing a mask, while others chant ‘Demons out! Luck in!’. (We aren’t making this up.)

• “Thank a Letter Carrier Day”. (Yeah, thanks for the bills, dude.)

2001 [10] The XFL (Xtreme Football League), founded by WWE mastermind Vince McMahon in cooperation with NBC-TV, plays its first games (folds after 1 season, leaving only the remote-control overhead camera as its legacy)

1979 [32] “YMCA” by the Village People peaks at #2 on the pop singles chart

1984 [27] World’s 1st baby conceived by ‘Embryo Transplant’, in Long Beach CA (“Here, let me carry that for you …”)

1947 [64] North America’s ‘Coldest Recorded Temperature’, -63 C (-81.4 F) at Snag, Yukon Territory

2010 [01] A cast of the sculpture “L’homme Qui Marche I” by Swiss sculptor Alberto Giacometti sells for $103.7 million, setting the record for ‘Most Expensive Sculpture Sold at Public Auction’

[Fri] Bubble Gum Day
[Fri] Wear Red Day
[Fri] World Cancer Day
[Fri] “The Roommate”; “Sanctum” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Weather Forecasters Day
[Sat] World Nutella Day
[Sun] Super Bowl 45 (Dallas TX)
[Sun] Dump Your Significant Jerk Day
This Week Is … Patient Recognition Week
This Month Is … Celebration of Chocolate Month


Why, it’s so cold that …
• Megan Fox has been downgraded from ‘hot’ to ‘lukewarm’.
• Local working girls are charging 20 bucks just to blow on your hands.
• People sitting on concrete steps are getting Polaroids.
• Donald Trump’s hair has been spotted shivering & rubbing its paws together.
• Angry drivers are giving each other ‘the mitten’.
• Tim Hortons drive-thru is extra busy with customers wanting to spill scalding coffee on their laps.
• The Old Spice guy actually put on a shirt.
• Apple has just introduced the ‘iScarf’.
• Charlie Sheen has started snorting tomato soup.
• Even guys are watching “Oprah” … for the artificial warmth.

Finish this sentence: “I hate it when my significant other …”

So I asked her, “Are you into casual sex, or should I dress up?

(A word that isn’t a word but should be.)
• ‘Fenderberg’ – The large glacial deposits that form on the insides of car fenders during snowstorms.

Today’s Question: It’s not clear why but not a single billionaire in the listing of the top 100 wealthiest is married to a woman with THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Red hair.

A child educated only at school is an uneducated child.

Printer Friendly Version