Friday, February 4, 2011        Edition: #4440
Sheet Rocks!

“National Enquirer” is reporting that Chelsea Clinton’s new husband Marc Mezvinsky has quit his cushy Wall Street job and walked out on her after a fight over starting a family, and now the former First Daughter wants an annulment (that multi-million-dollar wedding 6 months ago was nice though, eh?) . . . After months of rumors it’s official: “Beavis & Butt-Head”, the animated series which aired from 1993-97, is scheduled to return to MTV later this year (what can we say but “heh heh heh”) . . . New stats show that producer/director James Cameron cashed in on the worldwide box office success of “Avatar” to become the top Hollywood movie earner of 2010, raking in an estimated $257 million to easily outdistance actor Johnny Depp (a paltry $100 million) . . . On the female side of things, Kristen Stewart (“Twilight Saga”) was the highest-paid actress of 2010, earning $28.5 million, more than Angelina Jolie & Jennifer Aniston (using the term actress loosely) . . . “Two-and-a-Half Men’s” hiatus won’t go on long if the current plan for Charlie Sheen to finish rehab and go back to work in the next 3-to-4 weeks works (dream on!) . . . The Halle Berry-Gabriel Aubry custody battle is getting messy, Berry claiming their daughter is terrified of Aubry, Aubry saying he’s recorded several of Berry’s ‘jealous rages’ (best solution: give the kid to a normal couple) . . . 48-year-old “Late Late Show” host Craig Ferguson confirms he & art dealer-wife Megan are proud parents of a new baby boy named Liam James (always under the radar, Fergie’s one of the normal people in the biz) . . . CNN’s Anderson Cooper was punched & kicked during the riots in Egypt (a lot of people are okay with that) . . . And (surprise, surprise) Lindsay Lohan is in trouble again as a warrant for her arrest has been issued after a $2,500-necklace was snatched from a store in her new neighborhood of Venice Beach CA (hey, if you’re stuck wearing prison orange all the time, you gotta accessorize!).

• “Glee” (FOX) – Sunday the first new episode since December 7th follows the “Super Bowl”. It features tunes from Black Eyed Peas, Katy Perry, Lady Antebellum, and Michael Jackson.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Cold War Kids (“Mine Is Yours”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight A Perfect Circle (“Deep Cuts”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Lissie (“Catching a Tiger”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Tonight Robert Plant (“Band of Joy”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Today Justin Bieber (“Never Say Never”, opening February 11th).
• “Modern Marvels” (History) – Tonight Brad Paisley’s “H2O Tour” is highlighted in a show about American trucking. Cameras go behind-the-scenes to reveal what it takes to move a huge production from one city to another in a few short hours.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Dana Carvey (“Jack & Jill”); musical guest Linkin Park (“A Thousand Suns”).
• “Super Bowl 45” (FOX/CTV) – Sunday the NFL Championship pitting Green Bay Packers vs Pittsburgh Steelers @ Cowboys Stadium in Arlington TX. Coverage begins at 2 pm ET; Keith Urban, Maroon 5 perform during pregame festivities; “Glee” actress Lea Michele performs “America the Beautiful”; Christina Aguilera sings the anthem; Black Eyed Peas perform a 15-minute medley of hits at halftime.
• “Who Do You Think You Are?” (NBC) – Tonight the 2nd season debut of the Lisa Kudrow-hosted program on which celebrities trace their family roots. Vanessa Williams guests tonight; others scheduled this season: Ashley Judd, Gwyneth Paltrow, Lionel Richie, Tim McGraw.

• Amos Lee – The Philadelphia-born singer/songwriter has scored the highest chart position of his career as his 4th album, “Mission Bell”, has debuted at #1, according to Nielsen Soundscan.
• Britney Spears – She’s decided to call her 7th studio album “Femme Fatale”, although it still doesn’t have an official release date.
• Elton John – He tells the new issue of “Rolling Stone” his sometime tour mate Billy Joel has never overcome personal problems because he settles for ‘rehab light’. He also claims Joel doesn’t write new music due to ‘fear or laziness’. For his part, Joel responds to “Elton is just being Elton.”
• Foo Fighters – Their still-untitled 7th album will be out April 12th. It’s been produced entirely on analog tape in Dave Grohl’s garage at his home in California’s San Fernando Valley.
• Kenny Chesney – He’s been named the Tennessee Sports Hall of Fame’s ‘Tennessean Of the Year’, thanks to his ESPN sports documentaries “Boys of Fall” and “The Color Orange: The Condredge Holloway Story”.
• Rihanna – On her Twitter account she’s now owning up to those topless cellphone photos that were floating around a few weeks ago, perhaps because she looks hot in them.
• White Stripes – On their official website they’ve announced they are splitting up ‘for a myriad of reasons‘. Jack & Meg White released 6 studio albums and one live recording, “Under Great White Northern Lights”, their last release in 2010.

• “The Roommate” ( PG-13 Thriller ): Minka Kelly (“Friday Night Lights”) plays a college student who finds her safety jeopardized after she’s assigned to a dorm room with a new roommate who seemingly has a ‘killer personality’ (“Gossip Girl’s” Leighton Meester). Co-stars Cam Gigandet (“Burlesque”), Billy Zane.
• “Sanctum” ( R-Rated Action Adventure ): Producer James Cameron goes 3-D under the sea for this adventure involving a diving team that faces a life-threatening crisis during an expedition in an unexplored cave system. Shot in Queensland, Australia. Cast includes Ioan Gruffudd, Rhys Wakefield, Allison Cratchley. Based on a true story.

Scientists say the volume of abandoned rockets, shattered satellites, and missile shrapnel in Earth’s orbit is reaching a ‘tipping point’ and is now threatening the $250-billion space services industry. Why? A single collision between 2 satellites or large pieces of ‘space junk’ could send thousands of pieces of debris spinning into orbit, each capable of destroying further satellites. That has the potential to interrupt many services we’re now used to having, including GPS systems, international phone connections, TV signals, and weather satellites. (Not to mention blocking out the Sun.)

‘Titletown USA’ has a better ring to it than ‘Toilet Paper Capital Of the World’, but both are nicknames for the city of Green Bay, Wisconsin. ‘Titletown’, obviously, because the Packers have laid claim to 12 NFL titles. The, um, crappier nickname is because Northern Tissue – a precursor to Quilted Northern – invented the first ‘splinter-free’ paper in its plant there. (Toilet paper with splinters? Yikes!)

A new study for the  Girls’ Day School Trust, a group of 26 independent British schools, has found that boys and girls do better in classes with different room temperatures. Males work best in rooms where the temp is kept a constant 21 C (70 F). Females, on the other hand, seem to excel in rooms where it’s warmer … 24C (75 F). On top of all the other differences, this presents yet another problem in trying to teach boys and girls in the same classroom. (Office poll: Do women want it warmer?)
– “The Guardian”

The new ‘Skin Gun’ isn’t sci-fi, it’s a real prototype medical device that literally sprays skin cells onto burn victims to re-grow skin. Old methods like skin grafts took weeks to heal; the skin gun needs about … an hour. Though it’s still technically in an experimental stage, the skin gun has already successfully treated over a dozen burn victims. It works by using stem cells from the patient’s healthy skin and mixing them with a solution. Doctors say skin cell spraying is a simple process, akin to spraypainting. (Kim Kardashian knows all about spraypainting skin.)

The tiny Himalayan country of Bhutan is determined to become the world’s first smoke-free nation. The foundation of that plan is in a 2005 law that banned the sale of all tobacco products. Another law gives police sweeping powers to enter homes and search for tobacco. Authorities admit, however, that booming contraband traffic from neighboring India has largely undermined the tobacco ban. (Even so, sales of souvenir ashtrays are way down.)
– BBC News

• 30% of the world’s oil passes through the Suez Canal. While Egypt is not a major oil producer, some Bedouin tribesman in the region have threatened to attack the canal if Hosni Mubarak does not step down.
• On the outskirts of Cairo, tens-of-thousands of people called the Zabbaleen (‘garbage people’) live in a slum where they sort the city’s garbage  by hand. An astonishing 80% of what they collect they recycle.
– Excerpted from “The Toilet Paper”

• “I was in Italy once and this old man came up to me and said, ‘I had the best time in Nashville
because of Goop’.” (Gwyneth Paltrow)
• “Guy can’t have a great time and do his job also? Bunch of turds.” (Charlie Sheen)


1948 [63] Alice Cooper (Vincent Furnier), Detroit MI, classic rocker (“School’s Out”, “Eighteen”)/syndicated radio personality (“Nights With Alice Cooper”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2011)

1962 [49] Clint Black, Long Branch NJ, country singer (“When I Said I Do”, “The Shoes You’re Wearing”)

1963 [48] Noodles (Kevin Wasserman), LA CA, rock guitarist/vocalist (The Offspring-“You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid”, “Hit That”)

1969 [42] Duncan Coutts, St Catharines ON, rock bassist (Our Lady Peace-“Somewhere Out There”, “Clumsy”)  UP NEXT: A new studio-album follow-up to “Burn Burn” is in the process of being recorded and is expected to be released in 2011.

1975 [36] Natalie Imbruglia, Sydney, Australia, pop singer (“Torn”)/former Mrs Daniel Johns (Silverchair) 2003-08

1975 [36] Rick Burch, Mesa AZ, rock bassist (Jimmy Eat World-“Pain”, “The Middle”)

1977 [34] Gavin DeGraw, South Fallsburg NY, pop singer (“In Love With a Girl”, “I Don’t Want to Be”)

TV personality Don Cherry (“Hockey Night in Canada”) is 77; Actor-director-comedian Christopher Guest (“This Is Spinal Tap”) is 63; Rock bassist Duff McKagan of (Jane’s Addiction) is 47; Country singer Sara Evans (“Suds In the Bucket”) is 40; Soccer superstar Cristiano Ronaldo (Real Madrid, Portugal National Team) is 26.

Movie actor Rip Torn (“Men In Black”) is 80; Former NBC-TV news anchor/author Tom Brokaw (“The Greatest Generation”) is 71; Pop singer Natalie Cole (“Unforgettable”) is 61; Rock singer Axl Rose (Guns ‘N Roses) is 49; Cheesy oldies singer Rick Astley (“Together Forever”) is 45.

• “Bubble Gum Day”, an annual FUN-draising idea in which kids & teachers who donate to a charity get to chew bubble gum at school.
• “Halfway Point of Winter” as 45 days of the season have passed and the equivalent remain before the beginning of Spring. (Did we hear a giant sigh?)
• “Solo Diners Eat Out Weekend”, a time to enjoy a solitary meal in a restaurant or at home. After all, sooner or later, everyone faces the challenge of eating alone.
• “UN Torture Abolition Day”. In observance, shouldn’t “Two & a Half Men” be cancelled?
• “Wear Red Day”, the 8th annual observance for women created by the Heart Association to raise awareness about heart disease, the #1 cause of death among women in North America.
• “Winterlude” through February 21st, the 33rd annual celebrating the season outdoors in the capital region of Ottawa-Gatineau. Highlights include ice sculptures, a playground made of snow, and best of all, the Rideau Canal … touted as the world’s longest skating rink.
• “World Cancer Day”, an annual observation to encourage the prevention, detection, and treatment of cancer. It is led by the International Union Against Cancer, a global consortium of more than 280 cancer-fighting organizations in over 90 countries.

• “Constitution Day” in Mexico, honoring the country’s ‘Political Constitution of the United Mexican States’ approved on this date in 1917.
• “Weather Forecasters Day”, commemorating the 1744 birth of Boston MA physician Dr John Jeffries, one of the first to keep detailed records of weather conditions (1774-1816).
• “World Nutella Day”, the 5th annual celebration of the chocolate-y hazelnut spread that’s best eaten right out of the jar … by the handful.

• “Dump Your Significant Jerk Day”, a time to clean house before suffering through an awkward “Valentines Day”.
• “Reggae Day”, in celebration of the spirit of the music made popular worldwide by Bob Marley, who was born on this day in 1945 (died May 11, 1981). It’s celebrated as “Bob Marley Day” in Rastafarianism (Jamaica and Ethiopia).
• “Scout Sunday”, an annual recognition of the contributions of both young people and adults to the Boy Scout & Girl Scout movement that’s turning 103-years-old this year.
• “Waitangi Day” in New Zealand (aka “New Zealand Day”), commemorating the signing of a treaty in 1840 by a group of Maori chiefs and the British Government. It’s a national holiday.

2004 [07] Online social networking site Facebook is founded by Mark Zuckerberg

2008 [03] NASA transmits The Beatles’ “Across the Universe” in the direction of the star Polaris, 431 light years from Earth, to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the song’s recording, the 45th anniversary of the Deep Space Network, and the 50th anniversary of NASA

1920 [91] 1st ‘Snickers’ candy bars go on sale (now the most popular snack sold in vending machines worldwide)

1924 [87] Canada’s 1st Winter Olympic gold medal as Toronto Granite Club hockey team wins at the 1st Winter Games in Chamonix, France

1982 [29] ‘Indoor Distance Record for a Paper Airplane’ set at 154 ft or 47 m (Tacoma WA)

[Mon] Ballet Day
[Mon] Wave All Your Fingers At Your Neighbors Day
[Tues] Extraterrestrial Culture Day
[Tues] Laugh & Get Rich Day
[Wed] Stop Bullying Day
[Wed] Read In the Bathtub Day
This Week Is … Children’s Authors & Illustrators Week
This Month Is … Bake for Family Fun Month


• “Hey, who licked the tasty powdery stuff off the Doritos?”
• “Sorry, the clam dip has been unrefrigerated since the AFC Championship.”
• “There’s no Packers fans here and no Steelers fans … just ‘Glee’ fans!”
• “Yeah, we’ve got a much bigger screen TV in the rec room, but the wife’s using it to watch a rerun of ‘The Golden Girls’.”
• “We’re out of chicken wings but we’ve got some pigeon wings coming.”
• “Uh, why are we watching golf?”
• “Louie says if the Packers beat the spread, you get to keep your house.”
• “Gee, I hope CTV airs that clever network promo with those stormtrooper guys playing football another couple thousand times.”
• “Gee, I hope CTV airs yet another network promo voiced by Lee Marshall another couple thousand times. I love it when he really pulls his voice and drags out CEE-TEE-VEE.”
• “Surprise! Welcome to your intervention!”

Who’s the coolest athlete of all-time? Ali? Jordan? Namath?

Here’s further proof Britain’s upcoming royal wedding really is getting way over-the-top …

If there is a 50-50 chance, 95% of the time you will choose the wrong one.

Today’s Question: New stats show the average couple bickers more than 300 times a year and THIS is the #1 trigger for squabbles.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Use of the bathroom.

To every exception there is a rule.

Printer Friendly Version