Thursday, February 6, 2014        Edition: #5154

Sheet Rocks!

★ After 17 seasons of music by bandleader Harold Wheeler (70) and the “Dancing With the Stars” orchestra, ABC-TV and BBC Worldwide Productions has sent them packing. When Season 18 kicks off in March, the 28-member group of musicians and singers will all be gone. Executive producer Conrad Green has said previously that recorded music sometimes makes more sense for the show (especially financially). The American Federation of Musicians has already protested the move. (You dance with the girl you brought to the ball, greed-monsters.)
★ “Glee” star Lea Michele is following up her new album with a debut book. The actress/singer has revealed her new illustrated memoir and lifestyle tome, “Brunette Ambition”, will be available in May. The illustrated book is described as part memoir, part how-to, and part style guide. It promises to share her experiences and insider tips on beauty, fashion, and inner strength. Meantime, Michele’s debut album, “Louder”, will be released on February 28. (Love her or hate her, you gotta admit the woman soldiers on despite tragedy.)
★ Oft-incarcerated rapper DMX is set to fight George Zimmerman in a so-called boxing match, courtesy of promoter Celebrity Boxing. The hip-hop artist, aka Earl Simmons, will take on the Neighborhood Watch-man known for the fatal shooting of teen Trayvon Martin in February 2013 and the ensuing high-profile court case. The rapper promises he’ll ‘beat the living s[heet]’ out of Trayvon’s killer. A press conference will be held next Wednesday to confirm the date, time, and location of the fight. (Entertainment just reached a new low.)
★ 52-year-old actor George Clooney says he just isn’t cut out for Twitter. The “Monuments Men” star doesn’t want a social networking account because he likes to have a drink at night and could easily say something stupid. He also doesn’t think show biz people need to be that available. It’s not the first time he’s downplayed the value of Twitter to cele bs. He’s previously quoted as saying: ”I think anyone who is famous is a moron if they’re on Twitter. It’s just stupid.” (Amen, brother.)
– Bang Showbiz
★ And Selena Gomez secretly spent a stint in rehab last month, her rep has just now confirmed. The 21-year-old,  who’s had an on/off relationship with Justin Bieber, was admitted to Arizona’s Dawn At The Meadows January 5th and spent 2 weeks at the recovery facility which treats those struggling with ’emotional trauma, addiction, or dual diagnosis concerns’. Word has it she was urged to seek help by those close to her amid concerns her partying was getting out of control. (Seems whatever Bieber’s got is contagious.)

• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV2) – Solo and group performances in Los Angeles.
• “Arsenio Hall” (syndicated) – Jason Derulo (“Tattoos On My Heart”); (“#willpower”).
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – White Denim (“Corsicana Lemonade”).
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Sam Roberts (“Lo-Fantasy”, out February 11).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Flaming Lips w/Sean Lennon (“The Terror”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (ABC/CTV) – Karmin (“Hello”).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Merry Clayton, Darlene Love (“20 Feet From Stardom”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Leno exits his 22-year run as host with guest Billy Crystal, who was also Jay’s 1st guest when he took over on May 25, 1992. Garth Brooks is the final musical guest (“Blame It All On My Roots”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Vince Gill (“Bakersfield”).
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Little Mix (“Salute”).
• “Winter Olympics” (CBC/NBC) – Competition gets underway in Sochi, Russia even though the official opening is tomorrow. Tonight figure skating; snowboarding; freestyle skiing.

• Bruce Springsteen – His 22-year-old daughter Jessica has become an ‘equestrian ambassador’ for Gucci. The luxury band is retooling for the horsey set, and Jessica Springsteen just happens to be a champion show jumper. (The Boss + hoss = Gucci.)
• Bruno Mars – It’s official. His was the most watched Super Bowl halftime show in history, drawing a record-breaking 115.3 million viewers. That surpasses the 110.8 million delivered by Beyoncé last year and the prior record of 114 million set by Madonna 2 years ago.
• Jason Aldean – A Kentucky man is charged with 2 counts of theft after falsely claiming he represented the singer in setting up a fundraising concert there for a 3-year-old girl with leukemia. The creep scooped $6,000 from a local business and another $3,000 from the family of the girl to finance the bogus concert. He was not tied to Jason in any way.
• Jason Mraz – The singer-songwriter says he owes his entire success to the Internet. He emerged from the San Diego CA coffee house circuit in 2006 to garner more than 2 billion views and counting for his music on YouTube. He also has 14 million Facebook followers and 1 million on Instagram.
• Ke$ha – She’s announced she’s postponing her upcoming March and April tour dates to continue her time in rehab for an eating disorder. The “Timber” singer has been in a Chicago-area rehab since January 3rd.
• One Direction – UK’s “Daily Star” reports they’re set to launch their own café chain, with the first opening in Shibuya, Japan as early as this month. Those in the know say the cafés will be kid friendly and stocked with 1D merch.
• U2 – Bono says before beginning work on their upcoming album they listened to extraordinary music from the late ’70s that took them back to why they wanted to be a band in the first place. Quote: “It opened up a whole valve for me writing and it was a dam burst of sorts.”

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Bleed for This” – Aaron Eckhart & Miles Teller are set to star in this new boxing biopic based on the life of world champion Vinny Pazienza. After a near-fatal car crash, the boxer defied doctor’s orders and embarked on a remarkable comeback from his life-threatening injury. Martin Scorsese is executive producer on the pic.
• “College Republicans” – Dane DeHaan has reportedly been cast as aspiring politician Karl Rove who is running a dirty campaign for national College Republican Chairman and is working closely with campaign manager Lee Atwater (Daniel Radcliffe). The actors previously worked together on the 2013 biographical drama “Kill Your Darlings”, about famed poet Allen Ginsberg.
• “The Lobster” – Colin Farrell & Rachel Weisz have the lead roles in Greek filmmaker Yorgos Lanthimos’ upcoming first English-language film. His drama “Dogtooth” scored an Oscar nomination in 2009. This new sci-fi flim is an unconventional love story set in a dystopian future. It begins filming in Ireland next month.
• ‘Mangano’ biopic – “American Hustle” director David O Russell is in talks to write & direct the true story of entrepreneurial superstar Joy Mangano, inventor of the ‘Miracle Mop’. Word has it he wants Jennifer Lawrence to star, which would make it their 3rd collaboration. Their first, 2012’s “Silver Linings Playbook”, garnered J-Law her first Oscar win for ‘Best Actress’.
• “Silence” – 61-year-old actor Liam Neeson will reunite with his 2002 “Gangs Of New York” director Martin Scorsese to play a 17th-century Portuguese Jesuit priest who is traveling undercover to Japan.  Neeson has been cast alongside “Amazing Spider-Man” star Andrew Garfield and “Inception” actor Ken Watanabe. Production begins in Taiwan later this year.

Israeli company Given Imaging has developed an ingestible pill camera designed to help doctors spot polyps and other early signs of colon cancer. The FDA has now cleared the device for patients who have trouble with the cringe-inducing colonoscopy procedure, which involves probing the large intestine with a tiny camera embedded in a 4-foot-long flexible tube. The tiny battery-powered camera takes high-speed photos as it slowly winds its way through the intestinal tract over 8 hours. The images are transmitted to a recording device worn around the patient’s waist and later reviewed by a doctor. (So let’s see, swallow a capsule or be impaled on a cattle prod … hmm …)
– AP

• Look for a clean garage. A cluttered floor filled with dirty rags may be a red flag.
• Be wary of scare tactics, especially when they claim they wouldn’t drive your car another inch.
• Although it seems obvious, never sign a blank work authorization. Always have a specific estimate for each job first.
• If the mechanic claims they don’t need fancy equipment like a basic engine analyzer, go elsewhere.
• Coolant flushes are usually a gimmick; same with power steering flushes. Many of your car’s fluids are designed to last up to 100,000 miles.
• If they show you an air filter full of dirt and debris, make sure it actually came from your vehicle.
• Always ask for your old parts back. At least you’ll know they’ve been changed.
• Bring your car in on a Monday. On Friday mechanics rush jobs to get done for the weekend.
– Condensed from

Watching a movie about other couples who fight and then talking about it afterward could save your relationship. In fact, it can be as effective as traditional marriage counseling, according to new University of Rochester research. The ‘movie method’ helped cut the divorce rate of sample newlywed couples from 24% to 11% at the 3-year mark … the same success rate as sessions with trained therapists. It would seem the movies are just the catalyst. The study’s lead author admits that taking time to discuss your relationship with your partner is going to be helpful for any couple at any stage. But if you want to try their list of movies …

• Canadians have more sex outdoors than Americans.
• At $50 billion-plus, Sochi will be the most expensive Winter Olympics … by a longshot.
– CBC News


1962 [52] Axl Rose (William Rose Jr), Lafayette IN, rock singer (Guns N Roses-“Chinese Democracy”, “Sweet Child O’ Mine”)

1962 [52] Richie McDonald, Lubbock TX, country singer (“How Do I Just Stop”, Lonestar-“Tell Her”)

1964 [50] Gordon Downie, Amherstview ON, rock singer (Tragically Hip-“Bobcaygeon”, “New Orleans Is Sinking”)

1966 [48] Rick Astley, Newton-le-Willows UK, pop singer (“Never Gonna Give You Up”, “Together Forever”) who enjoyed a brief resurgence thanks to the Internet meme ‘Rickrolling’

• “Canadian Maple Syrup Day”, initiated in 2010 to celebrate the upcoming ‘running of the sap’. About 75% of the world’s supply of maple syrup is produced in the province of Québec.

• “Frozen Yogurt Day”, honoring the alternative to ice cream that has (slightly) less sugar. And the best fro-yo topping is … ?

• “Pay-A-Compliment Day”, the 20th annual observance that encourages us to focus on telling people how much we appreciate their presence in our lives.

• “Reggae Day”, in celebration of the spirit of the music made popular worldwide by Bob Marley, who was born on this day in 1945 (died May 11, 1981). It’s celebrated as “Bob Marley Day” in Rastafarianism (Jamaica and Ethiopia).

• “Waitangi Day” in New Zealand (aka “New Zealand Day”), commemorating the signing of a treaty in 1840 by a group of Maori chiefs and the British Government. It’s a national holiday.

2003 [11] ABC-TV’s “20/20” features Martin Bashir’s British TV documentary “Living With Michael Jackson” in which he admits he has ‘sleep-overs’ with young boys

1952 [62] Queen Elizabeth II ascends to the British throne (she will surpass Queen Victoria’s record as longest-serving British monarch on September 10, 2015)

2006 [08] Stephen Harper is sworn in as Canada’s 22nd Prime Minister (time’s up!)

1990 [24] Steve Briers recites the lyrics of Queen’s album “A Night At the Opera” backwards in 9 minutes 58.44 seconds on BBC 4 in London, a world record for ‘backwards talking’

[Fri] “The LEGO Movie”; “The Monuments Men”; “Vampire Academy” open in movie  theaters
[Fri] Wave All Your Fingers At Your Neighbors Day
[Fri] Wear Red Day
[Sat] Opera Day
[Sun] “The Night That Changed America: A Grammy Salute To The Beatles” (CBS)
[Sun] “The Walking Dead” season premiere (AMC)
This Week Is … Boy Scout Anniversary Week
This Month Is … Jobs in Golf Month


✓ A good husband is healthy and absent.
✓ A pig accustomed to dirt turns its nose up at rice.
✓ Forgiving the unrepentant is like drawing pictures on water.
✓ If the father is a frog, the son will be a frog.
✓ Laughter is the hiccup of a fool.
✓ One man’s beard is on fire, and another man warms his hands on it.
✓ One and one are sometimes eleven.

• Boyzone [Boy-Band]
• Caught In the Act [Boy-Band]
• O Fantasma [Gay Porno]
• 183 Club [Boy-Band]
• 3 Deep [Boy-Band]
• Blackmail Boys [Gay Porno]
• Naked Boys Singing! [Gay Porno]
• Bad Boys Blue [Boy-Band]
• Skin Gang [Gay Porno]
• No Authority [Boy-Band]
– Adapted from

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

Your contestant gives you the name and phone number of 2 friends whom you will ask to vouch for the contestant as a reference. Call the 1st friend pretending to be a prospective employer. Tell the friend he’s listed as a résumé reference and you want to check some facts (list some outrageous claims of education and experience). Call the 2nd friend purporting to be a bank officer checking a loan application. Ask if the things listed as collateral (houses, vehicles, boats, jewelry) actually exist. If both friends are loyal and lie for the contestant, everybody wins prizes!

☎ What’s the most annoying thing people do on Facebook? A new survey lists the worst news feed habits as – oversharing (stop with the 24/7 selfies, please!), posting pics of people without first asking their permission (untag, untag, untag!), and people seeing posts/info they weren’t supposed to see (did you, um, forget to invite someone to that party you had?).

Question: If you do THIS you are less likely to have an argument with your spouse.
Answer: Dim the lights.

Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

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