February 7, 2011

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Monday, February 7, 2011        Edition: #4441
Don’t Take Any Sheet, Unless It’s Pure Bull!

WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• Today the LA County DA is expected to charge trouble-magnet Lindsay Lohan with felony grand theft for allegedly stealing a $2,500-necklace from a Venice CA store. The missing item was apparently turned over to police by one of Lohan’s associates last week. Store surveillance video shows Lohan trying on the necklace and subsequent photos show her wearing what seems to be the same item a week later. Lohan’s lawyer maintains she took the item ‘on loan’.
– TMZ.com
• Reports say one reason actress Halle Berry doesn’t want her ex, Canadian model Gabriel Aubry, to have partial custody of their daughter Nahla is his sometime relationship with TV reality star Kim Kardashian. Despite no signs of a romance between the pair, Berry reportedly became upset at the idea of ‘someone like that’ being in her daughter’s life.
– People.com
• Cops were called after a fight broke out between 24-year-old “Transformers” actor Shia Labeouf and another patron at a sports bar in Sherman Oaks CA Friday night. Labeouf was handcuffed by police as the combatants were detained for 20 minutes, then allowed to leave the scene. According to witnesses, Labeouf was punched in the face during the scuffle.
– HollyScoop.com
• Former “The Hills” star Lauren Conrad has confirmed her new MTV reality show has been scrapped. Her latest venture focuses on her efforts as a fashion designer and author since leaving the hit series in 2009. But the project, which kept her private life off-limits, failed to thrill MTV execs. Why? According to Conrad, the finished product was ‘too highbrow’. Yeah, that’s it.
– “Hollywood Reporter”
• Moviemaker Christopher Nolan & screenwriter Aaron Sorkin were the toast of Hollywood on Saturday after claiming the top trophies at the annual “Writers Guild of America Awards”. Nolan’s “Inception” won the ‘Original Screenplay’ honor, Sorkin’s “The Social Network” the award for ‘Best Adapted Screenplay’. By the way “The King’s Speech”, considered an Oscar favorite for ‘Original Screenplay’, was ineligible under WGA rules.
– StudioBriefing.net
• And if you’ve ever doubted that awards are often handed out based on who agrees to show up and accept them, check out these ‘winners’ at the weekend “Golden Camera Awards” in Germany: John Travolta (‘Best International Actor’); Renee Zellweger (‘Best International Actress’); Michael J Fox (‘Lifetime Achievement in Film’); Gloria Gaynor (‘Lifetime Achievement in Music’). Apparently Germany is stuck in some kind of time warp?
– ContactMusic.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Far East Movement (“Free Wired”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Nelly (“5.0”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Interpol (“Interpol”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead (“Tao Of the Dead”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Steel Magnolia perform “Last Night Again”.
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Jamie Foxx (“Best Night Of My Life”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – James Blunt (“Some Kind Of Trouble”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• “American Idol” – “American Idol 10th Anniversary – The Hits”, a ‘best-of’ compilation album is coming March 15th. It includes tunes from Adam Lambert, Carrie Underwood, Clay Aiken, Daughtry, Fantasia, Kelly Clarkson and more.
• Bob Marley – Director Kevin McDonald (“The Last King of Scotland”) is helming a new documentary about the reggae legend, which includes the input of the Marley family. It’s slated for release around the 30th anniversary of Marley’s death, May 11th.
• The Cars – The reunited late ‘70s New Wave band will finally offer up their new album, “Move Like This”, on May 10th.
• Dierks Bentley – He’s producing a special version of his #1 hit “Sideways” for NASCAR coverage on FOX Sports. He’ll debut the tune live at the Daytona 500 on February 20th.
• Limp Bizkit – There’s an online campaign to rename the Solid Waste Services Department in Austin TX the ‘Fred Durst Society Of the Humanities & Arts’. Word has it Durst himself has voted … 3 times.
• Motley Crue – Vince Neil’s jail term for DUI doesn’t begin until February 15th but he says he’s already learned his lesson and needs to get past the experience and move on. His band will move on to play NJ’s Bamboozle Festival in April , then venues in Argentina and Mexico in May.
• U2 – Power cables have been stolen, causing damage to generators and other equipment at FNB Stadium in Johannesburg, South Africa, which hosts the “360 Tour” next week. Fans have been reassured that repairs will be made in time for the concert that’s expected to draw 98,000, more than the World Cup soccer final in July.

SAD STATE OF AFFAIRS:
A study by Britain’s University of Warwick of some 2 million people in 80 countries has found that depression universally hits its peak at an average age of 44. Researchers say the finding is consistent for single & married, rich & poor, and for those with & without children. The study has also found that the USA is the only country that records a difference based on gender. In America, unhappiness hits a peak at age 40 for women and age 50 for men. (Living with women 10 years younger.)
– BBC News

MONA LISA WAS A GUY?
Most scholars think Leonardo da Vinci’s most famous portrait depicts Lisa Gherardini, wife of a Florentine merchant. But Silvano Vinceti, head of Italy’s National Committee For the Preservation of Cultural Heritage, believes the painting was inspired by Gian Giacomo Caprotti, who began working with Da Vinci as a boy and became one of his closest companions. Several of Leonardo’s works are based on the slim, effeminate youth with curly hair. Vinceti claims there are striking similarities between them and the Mona Lisa, particularly in the depiction of the mouth and nose. Furthermore, Vinceti thinks the young model was da Vinci’s ‘male lover’. (Now we’re getting closer to developing a screenplay!)
– Celebrifi.com

GUYS & GAMES:
Men become addicted to playing computer games because they satisfy a primal urge to conquer, according to a recent study. It seems gaming activates parts of the male brain linked to rewarding feelings. Stanford University researchers say males are motivated to win because historically they are the ‘conquerors and tyrants’ of our species.  (And this explains ‘FarmVille’?)
– Telegraph.co.uk

DID YOU KNOW?
• Blackberry-maker Researcher in Motion’s career portal was (briefly) called ‘RIM.jobs’. We’re told they also own the domains ‘RIM.me’ and ‘RIM.us’.
– PopBitch.com
• 1-in-10 of the world’s adults is now obese. That’s 700 million fatsos.
– BBC Health
• Research shows that ‘good cops’ are better at getting confessions than ‘bad cops’.
– “Daily Mirror”

BS CHRONOMETER 02.07.11

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1960 [51] James Spader, Boston MA, movie actor (“Stargate”, “sex, lies & videotape”)/TV actor (“Boston Legal 2004-08, “The Practice” 2003-04)

1962 [49] Garth Brooks, Tulsa OK, country singer (“More Than a Memory”, “Friends in Low Places”)/married to country singer Trisha Yearwood (2005)

1962 [49] David Bryan (Rashbaum), Perth Amboy NJ, rock keyboardist (Bon Jovi-“It’s My Life”, “Always”)

1965 [46] Chris Rock, Andrews SC, comedian/movie actor (“Grown Ups”, “Madagascar” films)

1968 [43] Sully (Salvatore) Erna, Lawrence MA, heavy metal singer (Godsmack-“Whiskey Hangover”, “Speak”)

1974 [37] Steve Nash, Johannesburg, South Africa [raised Victoria BC], NBA star (Phoenix Suns)/Order of Canada (2007)

1975 [36] Wes Borland, Richmond VA, rock guitarist (Limp Bizkit-“Re-Arranged”, “Nookie”)

1978 [33] Ashton Kutcher, Cedar Rapids IA, movie actor (“No Strings Attached”, “Killers”)/TV producer (“Opportunity Knocks”, “Punk’d”)/TV actor (“That ’70s Show” 1998-2005)/married to actress Demi Moore (2005)  UP NEXT: The romantic comedy “New Year’s Eve”, opening December 9th.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Ballet Day”, an annual celebration of the artistic dance-form that keeps people on their toes.

• “Charles Dickens Day”, celebrating the legendary British author (“Oliver Twist”, “David Copperfield”, “A Christmas Carol”) on the anniversary of his birth in 1812.

• “Fettuccine Alfredo Day”, an annual food holiday in appreciation of the pasta dish that involves tossing fettuccine noodles with heavy cream & cheese. (Which then sits in your stomach like a bowling ball.)

• “Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbors Day” … instead of just the middle one. (And they’ll be wondering, “What the heck does that idiot want now?”)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1988 [23] 1st episode of “America’s Most Wanted” on FOX-TV (credited with the capture of over 1,100 fugitives)

2010 [01] Super Bowl 44 (CBS) breaks TV ratings record with 106.5 million viewers, edging out 1983 series finalé of “M*A*S*H” (105.94 million)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1964 [47] The Beatles 1st North American tour begins in NYC, the so-called ‘British Invasion’

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1875 [136] 1st ‘Tattooing Machine’ (Samuel O’Reilly, NYC)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1976 [35] Toronto Maple Leaf Darryl Sittler scores an NHL-record 10 points in a single hockey game, including 6 goals (vs Boston Bruins)

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Extraterrestrial Culture Day
[Tues] Laugh & Get Rich Day
[Wed] Stop Bullying Day
[Wed] Read In the Bathtub Day
[Wed] Taylor Swift’s “Speak Now World Tour 2011” begins (Singapore)
[Wed] Bon Jovi’s “Live 2011 Tour” begins (University Park PA)

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Week / Dump Your Significant Jerk Week / Freelance Writers Appreciation Week / Green Week / International Coaching Week / Jell-O Week / Just Say No to PowerPoint Week / International Networking Week / International Snow Sculpting Week / Publicity for Profit Week / Risk Awareness Week / School Counseling Week

BULL’S BITS

BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 17 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS SIGNS YOU WENT TO A CRAPPY SUPER BOWL PARTY:
• The enticing theme ‘Watch the Super Bowl from the Met Life Blimp’ turned out to be a lame excuse for a lousy 12-inch TV.
• You missed most of the first half listening to the host’s Tupperware presentation.
• The only ‘finger food’ was a tattered pack of lemon-honey throat lozenges.
• All the women looked like Troy Polamalu.
• The host served hot dogs by hiking them between his legs.
• They held it on Saturday night so everyone could make it.
• And the surest sign you went to a crappy Super Bowl party … you remember it!
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Bad breath is better than no breath.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What is it that men over 30 should NEVER do?

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
In 1895, Holyoke, Massachusetts YMCA director William Morgan invented a game that he called ‘Mintonette’. What do we call it these days?
a. ‘Floor Hockey’
b. ‘Volleyball’ [CORRECT]
c. ‘Badminton’
d. ‘Truth or Dare’
– “Grolier’s Encyclopedia”

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: To save gas and speed up car trips, experts say you should avoid THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Turning left (or turning right in Britain).

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Teaching is the art of assisting discovery.

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