Friday, February 7, 2014        Edition: #5155

Don’t Take Any Sheet, Unless It’s Pure Bull!

★ Today in NYC actor Philip Seymour Hoffman is scheduled to be laid to rest in a private funeral ceremony for close friends and family only. Another more public memorial service is being planned to take place later this month, also in New York. The 46-year-old was discovered dead in his Manhattan apartment last Sunday with a heroin syringe still in his arm.
★ Today actor Neil Patrick Harris is honored as Harvard University’s Hasty Pudding Theatricals’ ‘Man Of the Year’ for his lasting and impressive contributions to the world of entertainment. Harris will be given his honorary pudding pot following a parade through Harvard Square and a celebrity roast. Actress Helen Mirren was awarded this year’s female honors last month.
– AP
★ And before Season 2 of “House of Cards” debuts on Netflix February 14th, it’s already been announced the show is being renewed for a 3rd season. The drama about a corrupt congressman (Kevin Spacey) has won a lot of critical praise, but because the Netflix model doesn’t depend on ratings, the size of its audience has never been announced. (Note: The 20-year-old Brit version is also on Netflix. As the storyline is similar, watching its 3 seasons may spoil the Spacey version.)

• “Arsenio Hall” (syndicated) – Tonight Don Felder (ex-The Eagles).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today American Authors (“Oh, What a Life”, out March 4th).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Motley Crue (“Saints of Los Angeles”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Fallon’s final “Late Night” show, with Andy Samberg and The Muppets.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight Lauryn Hill (“Letters From Exile”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (ABC/CTV) – Today Babyface w/Toni Braxton (“Love, Marriage & Divorce”).
• “The Night That Changed America: A Grammy Salute To The Beatles” (CBS) – On February 9, 1964 more than 73 million people (45% of the US population) tuned in to see The Beatles’ American TV debut. Sunday’s 2-hour pre-recorded special airs exactly 50 years after that iconic 5-song performance on the “Ed Sullivan Show”. Performances from surviving Beatles Paul McCartney & Ringo Starr, as well as Alicia Keys, Dave Grohl, Katy Perry, Pharrell Williams, Stevie Wonder and others.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Tonight part 2 of Merry Clayton, Darlene Love (“20 Feet From Stardom”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Today former panel member Rosie O’Donnell returns as a guest.
• “The Walking Dead” (AMC) – Sunday the 2nd half of Season 4 debuts, as episodes 9-through-16 finally begin airing.
• “Winter Olympics” (CBC/NBC) – Today the official Sochi Games opening ceremony live at 10 am, repeated later in primetime.

• Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band – Tonight they begin a tour Down Under, their most extensive to date. It kicks off with their first-ever visit to Perth, Australia and runs through March 1st in Auckland NZ, where they have not played in a decade.
• Clay Aiken – The former “American Idol” star has announced a run for US Congress. He’s announced his candidacy for a seat in North Carolina’s 2nd district via a YouTube video. He’s running as a Democrat.
• Demi Lovato – Sunday she launches her 27-city “Neon Lights Tour” in Vancouver BC. The North American trek in  support of her latest album, “Demi”, features special guests Little Mix and Fifth Harmony.
• Dierks Bentley / OneRepublic – The 2 acts will meet and collaborate for the first time on an episode of CMT’s “Crossroads” which will air in mid-March. Bentley is currently preparing to release the new album “Riser” on February 25th.
• “Frozen” – It’s become the longest-running #1 film soundtrack of the last decade. The last one to spend 4 weeks atop the chart was “Bad Boys II” in August 2003, according to
• Imagine Dragons – Saturday in Boise ID they embark on their “Into The Night” tour that visits over 20 cities. It’s their last North American tour before returning to the studio to record a 2nd album. The Naked & Famous are the opening act.
• Pearl Jam – Tonight frontman Eddie Vedder begins an 8-date, 6-city solo tour of Australia in Perth. The tour follows Pearl Jam’s recent headlining stint in the 2014 version of the Big Day Out traveling festival.
• Sting / Paul Simon – Saturday in Houston TX they link up for a North American tour, during which they will perform some of their best-known songs individually and as a duo. 21 dates are scheduled through March 16th in Orlando FL.

• “The LEGO Movie” ( PG Family Animation ): In this Warner Bros fantasy, an ordinary LEGO mini-figure, mistakenly thought to be the extraordinary ‘MasterBuilder’, is recruited in a quest to stop an evil LEGO tyrant from gluing the universe together. Voice cast includes Will Arnett, Elizabeth Banks, Craig Berry. Cameos from Will Ferrell, Morgan Freeman, Jonah Hill.
• “The Monuments Men” ( PG-13 War Drama ): George Clooney directs and stars in this story of an unlikely World War II platoon that is tasked to rescue art masterpieces from Nazi thieves and return them to their owners. The ensemble cast also includes Matt Damon, Bill Murray, Cate Blanchett, John Goodman. Based on a true story.
• “Vampire Academy” ( PG-13 Fantasy Action Comedy ): Based on the Richelle Mead novel, the story of a half-human/half-vampire whose legacy is to protect the world from bloodthirsty, immortal vampires. Stars Zoey Deutch, Lucy Fry.
• Opening in limited release: “A Fantastic Fear of Everything” (Comedy); “A Field in England” (Historical Thriller); and “The Pretty One” (Dramedy).

Select Comfort’s new tricked-out bed becomes available Saturday. Its sensors measure breathing rate, movement, and heart rate, while displaying all of your sleep data in companion apps for smartphones. Plus a technology dubbed ‘Sleep iQ’ rates your slumber and offers tips for improving it. In addition to being packed with sensors, the bed has a ‘Partner Snore’ button that allows you to raise your sleepmate’s headrest to ease snoring. Plus it responds to voice commands, and features an under-the-bed light for late-night bathroom runs. You can also modify the firmness of the mattress. (One of these hi-tech babies will set you back $7,999.99.)

A new ranking of cars in the “2014 Consumer Reports Car-Brand Perception Survey”, based on public perception of quality, safety, value, performance, fuel economy, design, and innovation. The key word here is ‘perception’, as influenced by word-of-mouth, marketing, and hands-on experience.  A well-regarded car brand could actually be selling bad vehicles … and vice versa.
1. Toyota
2. Ford
3. Honda
4. Chevrolet
5. Tesla
35. Scion
36. Rolls-Royce
37. Jaguar
38. Maserati
39. Land Rover
(One industry observer says that cars are like women … you might think a particular super-model is hot, but you’re realistic enough to realize she’s not wife material.)

• We all know the 4th-place finisher does not get a medal, but he/she does not go home empty-handed. The first 8 athletes in each event receive a diploma from the IOC.
• During its 63,000-km epic journey to these games, the Olympic flame was carried to the bottom of a lake, to the North Pole, and even to the International Space Station.
• The official Sochi Olympic Games tagline is “Hot. Cool. Yours.”
• Russia has spent an Olympic record $51 billion to stage the 2014 games, 3 times the budget of the 2012 London Summer Games.
• The IOC selects cities 7 years in advance. Sochi was selected in 2007 and beat out Salzburg, Austria and Pyeongchang, South Korea.
• These games feature 8 new events, including women’s ski jump, biathlon mixed relay, a figure skating team event, a luge team relay, the ski half-pipe, ski & snowboard slopestyle (a tricks competition), and a snowboard parallel slalom.
– Extrapolated from Travel Channel


1960 [54] James Spader, Boston MA, TV actor (“The Blacklist” since 2013; “The Office” 2011-12, “Boston Legal” 2004-08)/movie actor (“Lincoln”, “sex, lies & videotape”)

1962 [52] Garth Brooks, Tulsa OK, country singer (“More Than a Memory”, “Friends in Low Places”)/Las Vegas entertainer/married to country singer Trisha Yearwood since 2005

1962 [52] David Bryan (Rashbaum), Perth Amboy NJ, pop-rock keyboardist (Bon Jovi-“It’s My Life”, “Always”)

1965 [49] Chris Rock, Andrews SC, comedian/movie actor (“Grown Ups”, “Madagascar” films)

1978 [36] Ashton Kutcher, Cedar Rapids IA, TV actor (“Two-And-a-Half Men” since 2011, “That ’70s Show” 1998-2005)/movie actor (“Jobs”, “No Strings Attached”)

1978 [36] Tom Blankenship, Louisville KY, rock bassist (My Morning Jacket-“Friends Again”, “Holdin’ On to Black Metal”)

Author John Grisham (“The Firm”) is 59; Rock singer Vince Neil (Motley Crue) is 53; Rock guitarist Keith Nelson (Buckcherry) is 45; House musician Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo (Daft Punk) is 40; Rock bassist Dave ‘Phoenix’ Farrell (Linkin Park) is 37; Rock bassist Jeremy Davis (Paramore) is 29.

Country singer Travis Tritt  (“Love Of a Woman”) is 51; Pop-rock singer Chad Wolf (Carolina Liar) is 38; Rock singer-guitarist Richard On (OAR) is 35; Movie actress Zhang Ziyi (“Memoirs Of a Geisha”) is 35; Movie actor Michael B Jordan (“That Awkward Moment”) is 27.

• “Ballet Day”, an annual celebration of the artistic dance-form that keeps people on their toes.
• “Fettuccine Alfredo Day”, an annual appreciation of the pasta dish that involves tossing fettuccine noodles with heavy cream & cheese. (Which sits in your stomach like a bowling ball.)
• “Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbors Day” … instead of just the middle one. (And they’ll be wondering, “What the heck does that idiot want now?”)
• “Wear Red Day”, the 11th annual observance for women created by the Heart Association to raise awareness about heart disease, the #1 cause of death among women in North America.

• “Laugh & Get Rich Day”, in recognition of laughter’s power to add to the bottom line. It’s claimed that people who laugh a lot are more effective and tend to remember things better.
• “Opera Day”, for those who like listening to every word of a story being sung. (Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.)

• “Autism Sunday”, observed annually on the 2nd Sunday of February, a day of awareness for Autism & Asperger Syndrome, which affects an estimated 60 million people around-the-world.
• “Bagels & Lox Day”, a food holiday celebrating the deli favorite that involves topping a fresh-baked bagel with salmon fillet that has been cured.
• “Man Day”, a day for men to stand together as a united front and take part in ‘man things’.
• “Read In the Bathtub Day”, an excuse to luxuriate in a steamy tub with a great novel. (Not on your eReader …. zap!)
• “Stop Bullying Day”, the kickoff of “Stop Bullying Week”, when schools are encouraged to conduct classes on how to stop bullying in schools and neighborhoods.
• “Toothache Day” in honor of the feast day of St Apollonia, patron saint of dentists and those suffering from toothaches.
• “World Marriage Day”, an annual recognition of married couples on the 2nd Sunday of February, with particular attention focused on those married longest.

1914 [100] Charlie Chaplin debuts his iconic alter ego ‘The Little Tramp’ in the silent film “Kid Auto Races at Venice” (that character remains the way we picture Chaplin today)

1964 [50] The Beatles arrive in NYC for their 1st North American tour, kicking off the so-called ‘British Invasion’

1984 [30] 1st ‘human satellite’ as US Navy Captain Bruce McCandless exits space shuttle Challenger and maneuvers untethered in space for 90 minutes using a bulky white rocket pack

1976 [38] Toronto Maple Leafs’ Darryl Sittler scores an NHL-record 10 points in a single hockey game, including 6 goals (vs Boston Bruins)

[Mon] Clean Out Your Computer Day
[Mon] Random Acts of Kindness Week begins
[Tues] Get Out Your Guitar Day
[Tues] Pro Sports Wives Day
[Tues] Extraterrestrial Visitor Day
This Week Is … Freelance Writers Appreciation Week
This Month Is … Pet Dental Health Month


● No in-laws.
● There may be toe-nail clippings in the bed, but at least they’re yours.
● You can leave crappy parties whenever you want to.
● You get all of the hot water.
● You get to keep your surname without any snarky comments.
● You don’t have to shave your legs every day.
● You can buy as many shoes as you like.
● The closet is all yours … so’s the bed.
● The seat stays down.
● When you wake up in the morning with a clammy tongue in your mouth, you know it’s your own.
● You get great sex.
– Adapted from

It was so cold, [your least favorite Senator] was spotted with his hands in his own pockets.

Which of the following is NOT a move performed in Olympic figure skating?
a. Layback.
b. Flying Camel.
c. Death Squat. [CORRECT. May have something to do with eating at Taco Bell.]

☎ What’s the best ‘perk’ of your job?

Question: If a man has THIS, a woman is more likely to give him her phone number.
Answer: A guitar.

A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.

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