BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Former Olympian-turned-reality TV show star Bruce Jenner was in one of the cars involved in a 4-car crash that killed a woman in Malibu, California Saturday afternoon. LAPD reports that 7 others sustained minor to moderate injuries. Jenner’s publicist says Jenner was unhurt, but offers no additional details. Police deputies add that Jenner was NOT being chased by paparazzi at the time, contrary to early reports. 65-year-old Jenner has been much in the news in the past few months due to speculation he’s making the transition from male-to-female.
– USAToday.com
★ “NBC Nightly News” anchor Brian Williams informed colleagues on Saturday he’s voluntarily going off-air for several days while his network investigates circumstances around his false claim that his helicopter was forced to land after being shot during the Iraq War in 2003. The investigation of potential false reports by Williams, who for more than a decade has been a trusted voice and NBC anchor, will be led by Richard Esposito, the senior executive producer at NBC Investigations. A ‘truth squad’ team of reporters and producers may also be involved in reviewing his statements about other past experiences.
– “New York Post”
★ Rosie O’Donnell has split from her wife Michelle Rounds, and is set to quit her role on daytime TV show “The View” (ABC) to ‘concentrate on her family’. She returned as co-host only 6 months ago following a 7-year break. This week will apparently be her last on the show. A statement from her publicist reads: “ABC has been wonderfully understanding and supportive of her personal decision to leave ‘The View’.” BS translation: They turfed her due to saggy ratings.
– WENN.com
★ And the photo of “Scandal” star Kerry Washington on the new cover of “InStyle” magazine is raising an online ruckus, many claiming the actress’s skin has been intentionally lightened. The mag responds: “While we did not digitally lighten Kerry’s skin tone, our cover lighting has likely contributed to this concern.” Hmm, believe them? And if that cover isn’t controversial enough for you, check out the next issue of “Vanity Fair”, featuring actress Jennifer Lawrence looking red hot while sprawling on a wooden floor, wearing nothing but a snake on her back.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/le86sjm
– TheGlobeandMail.com / Splash News

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Celebrity Apprentice” (NBC) – The finalists travel to Orlando FL to complete their biggest task yet, selling vacation resort packages.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Punch Bros (“The Phosphorescent Blues”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Ed Sheeran (“X”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – ‘Mash Up Mondays’ series continues, pairing up different acts to perform together. Tonight it’s Morris Day & The Time with Haim.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – The Bots (“Pink Palms”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Christina Perri (“Head or Heart”).
• “Meredith Vieira Show” (syndicated) – Common (“Glory”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Brad Paisley – He’s announced his “Crushin’ It World Tour” begins May 15th in Philadelphia PA.
• fun. – Amid breakup rumors, they’ve released a statement on Facebook to reassure fans the 3 band members are all currently working on their own projects, but the group hasn’t split up.
• Garth Brooks – His “World Tour” rolls on, with 2 shows in Sacramento CA announced for March 27-28. He’s typically added more dates to each city he has played since the tour started.
• Imagine Dragons – Their 39-city North American tour in support of their upcoming album “Smoke + Mirrors” begins June 3rd in Portland OR. Metric is the tour’s opening act.
• Luke Bryan – He’s #1 again on the new ‘Billboard Hot Country Songs’ with “I See You”.
• Meghan Trainor – RIAA has announced “All About That Bass” has now been certified 6X Platinum.
• Sam Hunt – “Montevallo” is 1st again on this week’s ‘Top Country Albums’ chart in “Billboard”.
• Sophie B Hawkins – The “Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover” (1992) singer-songwriter is pregnant with her 2nd child … at age 50. She conceived using a sperm donor and her own frozen embryo, saying she wants to expand her family for the sake of her 6-year-old son.
• TV On the Radio – The indie rockers have canceled their European tour after drummer Jahphet Landis was recently hospitalized for an undisclosed illness. They were slated to play 12 shows in 9 countries this month. The tour is now scheduled to re-up March 15th in Houston TX.
• Van Halen – They’re set to release just the 2nd live album of their career this Spring, and the first-ever with David Lee Roth on vocals. “Tokyo Dome Live In Concert” was recorded in June 2013. “Rolling Stone” reports it will be out March 31st.

THE HARDEST PART OF DATE NIGHT SOLVED?
The person who’s going to look after your kids might be waiting on the other side of your smartphone. At least, that’s the idea behind fledgling Canadian start-up ‘DateNight’, which aims to match parents with babysitters through a downloadable app. To be clear – the company doesn’t employ babysitters, it merely helps people connect with them. Prospective sitters and parents have to give references to be included in the app’s database. They are then screened in interviews. The app, which is still in the process of being launched in Toronto, may spread if its test run is successful. (Whether you’re the parent or the sitter … would you trust a stranger?)
– TheStar.com

THE SURVEY SAYS:
■ What’s the best way to discipline kids – time-outs or spanking? Despite Pope Francis’s recent statement saying it’s OK to smack children if their ‘dignity is maintained’, 65% of parents in a “Parenting” magazine poll say time-outs are tops.
■ A poll of European countries finds the Irish spend the most on entertainment. Irish citizens spend an average of 12% of their annual income on fun. ‘Fun’ apparently comes in pints.
■ A “Self” magazine survey asks a cross-section of adults when ‘old age’ starts. Most say you’re old when you reach 70. We say ‘old’ is 20 years older than you are .. no matter your age.
■ An automotive survey finds that women are increasingly becoming more attached to their cars than men. 41% of women say they talk to their cars and 16% actually give them names.

WHAT YOUR LOVE OF HOT SAUCE SAYS ABOUT YOU:
Could your love of hot sauce reveal something about your temperament? Researchers at Penn State have shown that personality seems to be a significant player in our lust for heat or spice in our food. The study has found that people who enjoy action movies, adventure-seeking, and exploration are about 6 times more likely to enjoy the burn of a spicy meal. It also seems there are gender differences when it comes to hankering for hot sauce. Women who like spicy foods seem to be more drawn to the sting – that burn in the throat – than men. For guys, the machismo factor – the idea that tough men should be able to withstand the heat – seems to play a big role. (“Hey, look at my tongue on fire! I am a real man.”)
– NPR.org

SAY WHAT?
English-named foreign products that for some reason failed to catch on …
✗ ‘Ass Glue’ … tonic made with donkey parts (China).
✗ ‘Blue Peter’ … canned fish (Norway).
✗ ‘Green Piles’ … lawn fertilizer (Japan).
✗ ‘Krapp’ … bathroom tissue (Sweden).
✗ ‘Zit’ … soft drink (Greece).
– “Maledicta”

DID YOU KNOW?
• While ‘light’ jogging helps you live longer, running strenuously might not be better for you than no exercise at all.
– “Discovery Magazine”
• New studies confirm that money doesn’t make you happy … but it does make you less sad.
– HuffingtonPost.com
• Global sales of Asian fast food have grown by the same amount as the next 4 fast food categories (Middle Eastern, chicken, pizza, and burgers) combined.
– “Washington Post”
• Some 15,152 types of life forms have been identified … on the NYC subway.
– TIME.com

BS CHRONOMETER 02.09.15

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [72] Joe Pesci, Newark NJ, movie actor (“Casino”, Academy Award-“Goodfellas”)

1963 [52] Travis Tritt, Marietta GA, country singer (“Love Of a Woman”, “Best of Intentions”)

1976 [39] Chad Wolf, Charleston SC, pop singer (Carolina Liar-“I’m Not Over”, “Show Me What I’m Looking For”)

1979 [36] Richard On, Rockville MD, rock singer-guitarist (OAR-“Shattered [Turn the Car Around]”, “This Town”)

1979 [36] Zhang Ziyi, Beijing, China, movie actress (“Memoirs Of a Geisha”, “Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon”)

1987 [28] Rose Leslie, Aberdeen, Scotland, TV actress (‘Ygritte’ on “Game of Thrones” since 2012, ‘Gwen Dawson’ on “Downton Abbey” 2010)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bagels & Lox Day”, a food holiday celebrating the deli favorite that involves topping a fresh-baked bagel with salmon fillet that has been cured.

• “Develop Alternative Vices Day”, a day to change your habits and improve yourself.

• “Read In the Bathtub Day”, an excuse to luxuriate in a steamy tub with a great novel. (Not on your eReader … zap!)

• “Stop Bullying Day”, the kickoff of “Stop Bullying Week”, when schools are encouraged to conduct classes on how to stop bullying in schools & neighborhoods. Sponsored by Hey UGLY (Unique Gifted Lovable You).
NET: http://www.heyugly.org

• “Toothache Day” in honor of the feast day of St Apollonia, patron saint of dentists and those suffering from toothaches.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1997 [18] “The Simpsons” becomes the longest-running prime-time animated TV series, besting the 6-season, 166-episode record held by “The Flintstones” (‘Bart’ and company have now notched 26 seasons … and counting)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1975 [40] “The Cher Show” debuts on CBS-TV

1985 [30] Madonna’s “Like a Virgin” album hits #1 for 3 weeks

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1960 [55] Official groundbreaking for the ‘Hollywood Walk of Fame’ (1st star belongs to actress Joanne Woodward, Academy Award winner for 1957’s “The Three Faces of Eve”)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1992 [23] World’s ‘Fastest Yodeller’ records 22 tones in a single second (Thomas School, Germany)

1997 [18] 1st NHL coach to win 1,000 career games (Scotty Bowman, Detroit Red Wings)

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Extraterrestrial Visitor Day
[Wed] Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk Day
[Wed] Get Out Your Guitar Day
[Wed] Make a Friend’s Day
[Wed] Pro Sports Wives Day
[Wed] Shut-in Visitation Day
[Wed] Satisfied Staying Single Day
[Wed] World Day Of the Sick
[Thurs] Darwin Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Celebration of Love Week / Children of Alcoholics Week / Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Week / Dump Your Significant Jerk Week / Freelance Writers Appreciation Week / Have a Heart For a Chained Dog Week / International Flirting Week / International Friendship Week / International Hoof-Care Week / Love a Mensch Week / Random Acts of Kindness Week / Risk Awareness Week / Secondhand Wardrobe Week

BULL’S BITS

BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 21 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS SIGNS YOU’RE BURNT OUT AT WORK:
• Your friends call to ask how you are, and you immediately scream, “Get off my back, jerk!”
• In your latest one-page performance report, the word ‘sucks’ appears 17 times.
• Visions of the upcoming weekend help you make it through … Monday.
• Your daytimer exploded a week ago.
• You think about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now.
• Your garbage can is your ‘in’ box.
• You’re so tired you can now only muster the energy to answer the phone, “Hell.”
– First published in “BS” 2000.

DO IT YOURSELF NAME GENERATORS:
✓ Sandwich Name: Direction you are currently facing + name of the street you are currently on + main course at your most recent holiday meal.
✓ Rock Band Name: Your least favorite color + your most recent physical ailment + high school mascot, plural.
✓ Discreet Sex Toy Name: Your favorite hard candy flavor + type of flower indigenous to your current state or province of residence.
✓ Fruit Smoothie Flavor Name: Your first name, possessive + your favorite color + the kind of fruit you most recently consumed + the worst weather conditions you’ve ever experienced while on vacation.
✓ Highbrow Circus Show Name: Your favorite smell + your least favorite time of day (both translated into French).
✓ Grocery Store Name: The street you grew up on + “Organic” (optional) + “Harvest” (optional) + “Farmer’s” (optional) + “Market”.
✓ Sitcom Name: Whatever you last screamed at your children.
– First published in “BS” 2012.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What’s the best animated Disney movie of all-time? (There are over 50 to pick from.)

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
According to Hallmark Cards, who receives more Valentines?
a. Wives
b. Girlfriends
c. Husbands
d. Teachers [CORRECT. Students – actually their parents – buy ⅔ of all Valentine cards.]

BS WEB GOODIE:
This is surprisingly addictive … random Google Street Views from around-the-world. To flip from one to the next, just click ‘go’.
NET: http://www.mapcrunch.com/

BS RANDOM JOKE:
So what if you can’t spell Armageddon. It’s not the end of the world.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: On average, we only agree to do THIS for 60 seconds before quitting.
Answer: Stay on hold before hanging up a phone call.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.

NOW ON OUR SHEET LIST:
Deongello @ Power 98.3 [KKFR] Phoenix AZ; Margaret Chinnery @ 89.9 Light FM Melbourne, Australia; Brandon Hardin @ The Sports Animal [KADS] Elk City OK; Gabe Edney @ KECO 96.5 Elk City OK; Francisca Peter @ 103.7 FM Lae, Papua New Guinea; Jimmy McBride @ Thunder 104.3 [WZTR] Dahlonega GA; Lucia Peregrim @ The Indie Authority, Scranton PA; and Joshua Red Cloud @ Online Radio, Tacoma WA.