February 13 2019

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Wednesday, February 13, 2019 – Edition: #6393

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BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
“The Bull Sheet” will not be publishing on Monday, February 18 to observe the Canadian ‘Family Day’ holiday.  All subscribers will receive credit for the missed service day.  The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday, February 19.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ The Fiji Water Girl is suing, but the company is not going with the flow.  After their former brand ambassador, who became famous by photobombing celebs at the Golden Globes, accused them of an unauthorized marketing campaign, Fiji Water is firing a fresh stream of accusations at the model. Fiji claims Kelleth Cuthbert is trying to extort the company and “capitalize on her fleeting 15 minutes of internet fame.” They say her accusations of fake signatures and unauthorized use of her likeness are “baseless.”
(I guess they can’t work this out over a drink?)
-TheBlast
★ Richard Gere is a dad again. He actor and his third wife Alejandra Silva, who will 36 in a few days, have welcomed their first child together. The couple — who married in 2018 — are the proud parents of a baby boy who was born in New York “a few days ago”. Gere is also a dad to 18-year-old Homer. She has a 6-year-old son, Albert.
-MSN
★ Lucy Liu has been tapped to star in the CBS All Access drama “Why Women Kill”. The web-series, from “Desperate Housewives” creator Marc Cherry, centers on three women — a housewife in the ’60s, a socialite in the ’80s and a lawyer in 2018 — who are dealing with infidelity in their marriages.
-TheWrap
★ Eddie Murphy’s untitled “Coming to America” sequel is scheduled to hit theaters on August 7, 2020.  Murphy is expected to return for the follow-up, although no formal deal is in place yet. The original film followed Murphy’s Prince Akeem, who travels from Africa to Queens to escape an arranged marriage and find a wife who would love him in spite of his royal title. It also starred Arsenio Hall and James Earl Jones.
-TheWrap
★ David Spade is returning to late-night TV.  He’ll host a new Comedy Central show which will debut later this year. Spade and a rotating group of his comedian and celebrity friends will break down the pop culture news of the day. It will also include field pieces that mirror Spade’s Instagram stories (he has 1.5 million followers).
-HollywoodReporter

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Rothe, Josh Groban
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV):Steve Martin, Martin Short, Tim Tebow, Avril Lavigne
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Trevor Noah, Natasha Lyonne, the Marcus King Band
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Will Forte, Second Chance Theatre
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Courteney Cox, Nick Kroll, Betty Who
• “Conan” (TBS):  Jay Baruchel
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): OMG Moments
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Rebel Wilson
• “The Talk” (CBS): Josh Groban
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Kelsey Grammer, Lana Condor
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Jennifer Lopez
• “Big Brother: Celebrity Edition” (CBS): Celebrities live together in a house; and each week one or more is voted out.
• “The World’s Best” (CBS): More world-class acts compete in the final round of auditions.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Katy Perry — Her shoe, which is under scrutiny for resembling blackface is about to be yanked. The footwear line features “faces” with two eyes, a nose and red lips on them, and they come in black and beige. The black one is problematic, because it looks a lot like classic blackface.  A source says, “In order to be respectful and sensitive, the team is in the process of pulling the shoes.”
• Kanye West – is being sued by the parents of the 4-year-old he sampled on ‘Life of Pablo’. The sample came from a social media video that went viral in 2016, featuring Natalie Green praying, “we don’t want no devils in this house.” Her parents are reportedly demanding a cut of the profits from the song, plus damages.
• Alicia Keys – after hosting the 61st Grammy Awards on Sunday night, she surprise-released a new song. ‘Raise A Man’ is her first new solo recording since 2016.
• Heart – The Wilson sisters are regrouping for the first time in three years for a 39-city tour that will also feature Joan Jett and Sheryl Crow.  The “Love Alive” tour begins on July 9 in St. Louis. Brandi Carlile will join on some dates.
• AC/DC — A newly uncovered photo seems to confirm that “retired” bassist Cliff Williams joined the group at their rumored summer recording sessions in Vancouver.  A photo posted on Instagram seems to show singer Brian Johnson and Williams together in the city during the same time period.
• KISS – In a new interview, Gene Simmons says he has never been drunk, and has “never taken more than a sip of anything.”  He says he doesn’t drink because he doesn’t like the taste or smell of anything with alcohol in it, and doesn’t want to hamper his competitiveness in life.
• Hootie & the Blowfish – Have added a second Madison Square Garden show to their reunion tour.  The new date is Aug. 11. The group is currently working on a new album which is expected to be released this summer.
• Dierks Bentley — has extended his “Burning Man” tour.  It launched in mid-January in Canada and will now keep him on the road in the U.S. until early September with Jon Pardi, Tenille Townes and his ’90s cover band, Hot Country Knights.
• Reba McEntire — will return as the host of the upcoming 54th ACM Awards on April 7 in Las Vegas. It will mark her 16th time as the emcee. Her new album, “Stronger Than the Truth” will be released April 5.

LET’S STICK WITH FEB:
We’re almost half-way through the month, and by now, the grammarists are wishing it were over.  The annual argument of “How do you pronounce February” ends right now.  If you look at the word, it is pretty clear that it should be pronounced with two distinct “r” sounds. Feb-roo-air-ee.  But Most North Americans, and many from other parts of the world, drop that first “r” and come out with something more like “Feb-yoo-air-ee”.  Although fans of traditional English tend to get all worked up about this, the skipping of that “r” sound is nothing new. People have been avoiding that pesky thing for at least the last 150 years.  Maybe more.  Certainly, long enough that Merriam-Webster many other dictionaries consider both pronunciations correct.  Why the sloppy diction?  When speaking, we find it difficult when two r’s are placed so close to each other. The name for when one sound drops out because another of the same sound is too close is “dissimilation”.  And it is not dissimilar to what often happens when we say words like “su(r)prise”, “gove(r)nor”, “pa(r)ticular, and even “cate(r)pillar.
(Sure, you can get away with “Febuary”, but I say “liberry” once, and they ask me if I have running water where I’m from!)
(I think it should be left open to interpitation!)
(Do what I do.  Mumble.)
-MentalFloss

WE’VE WAITED A FLIPPIN’ LONG TIME:
We’ve heard it was coming for a few years, and now, it might almost be here.  Although perhaps not as monumental as the “space race” to the moon, the distinction of being the first company to unveil the “foldable” smartphone screen might be about to go to…Samsung.  The company is holding an event on Feb. 20 where it’s expected to unveil its latest family of Galaxy S10 phones, and according to a video the company posted to YouTube this week, they will also at least tease a “bendable” phone. The video is titled “The Future Unfolds,” (see what they did there?), suggesting that Samsung will make good on their promises to sell a phone that can actually fold. It would be the first foldable phone available for consumers to purchase.  The video doesn’t show how the device will fold, but other companies’ prototypes have looked like tablets which can fold into a device the size of a phone.
(The good thing is these things will be harder to drop into the toilet!)
(Isn’t “folding” exactly what my grandfather’s flip-phone does?)
(Didn’t Blackberry fold about 10 years ago?)
LINK:  The Teaser Video
-CNBC

CHEAP VALENTINE’S DAY DATE IDEAS:
➢ A picnic:  Yes, I have heard of the polar vortex.  If your weather isn’t picnic-appropriate, you can host it in your living room, complete with throw pillows.  (And no ants…unless you live in a place like my first apartment!)
➢ Visit a museum:  A day spent exploring a museum is affordable and culturally-enriching.  (If your objective is to spend Valentine’s Day on your feet…ahem!)
➢ Make dinner and dessert at home:  You save money by skipping the restaurant scene, plus, working together to create a home-cooked meal is a romantic date alternative.  (And a great way to get that first fight out of the way…)
➢ Start binge-watching a new show together:  Spend the day relaxing and enjoying each other’s company by starting a new show from the beginning.  And that also means you’ll need to get together in the future to continue.  (Be sure to avoid watching future episodes without one another, because to her, that’s like cheating!)
➢ Volunteer together:  Spread the spirit of love by helping others, while spending time with your significant other.  (Plus, you don’t have to spend anything!)
➢ Do a puzzle or play board games:  You’ll spend hours together and it will leave you with a feeling of accomplishment when it’s finished.  (And if you play Monopoly, you’ll spend hours and hours and hours together!)
➢ See a comedy show:  They are perfect affordable date idea.  You’ll laugh together, and it is much cheaper than tickets to live theatre.  (Just remember:  with laughter and booze together, sooner or later, you’re going to see liquid coming from your date’s nose!)
(Why is it that everyone is looking for cheap date ideas, but no one wants to be called a “cheap date”?)
-Independent

DID YOU KNOW?

The average bald man says he would pay as much as US$30,000 to fully restore hair to his head, according to a survey of the follically-challenged.
(That’s what I call “willing toupee”!)
-NationalPost

BS CHRONOMETER 02.13.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1942 [77] Peter Tork, Washington DC, pop singer, bassist, keyboardist, actor (The Monkees – ‘I’m a Believer’, ‘Last Train to Clarksville’)

1944 [75] Stockard Channing, New York City NY, actress (“Grease”, “The West Wing” 1999-2006)

1944 [75] Jerry Springer, Highgate England, TV show host (“Jerry Springer” 1991-2018, his new courtroom show “Judge Jerry” will debut this fall)

1950 [69] Peter Gabriel, Chobham England, rock singer (‘In Your Eyes’, ‘Sledgehammer’), Genesis co-founder (‘The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway’)

1972 [47] Todd Harrell, Escatawpa MS, alt-rock musician (3 Doors Down-‘Here Without You’, ‘When I’m Gone’)

1974 [45] Robbie Williams, Stoke-on-Trent UK, pop singer (‘Angels’, ‘Rock DJ’)/former member of Brit pop group Take That

1976 [43] (Leslie) Feist, Amherst NS, pop singer (‘1-2-3-4’, ‘Mushaboom’)

1979 [40] Mena Suvari, Newport RI, movie actress (“American Beauty”, “American Pie” movies) COMING UP…”Apparition”, 2019

1997 [22] Prince Michael Jackson Jr, Beverly Hills CA, Michael Jackson’s first son with ex-wife Debbie Rowe

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Kiss Day”, it can speak a thousand words, and it can heal any wounds that infect the relationship. When words are not sufficient to show your emotions, let a gentle kiss do the rest of the talking for you.

• “Tortellini Day”, saluting the yummy little pasta rings stuffed with goodies such as cheese or prosciutto. They are sometimes described as ‘navel-shaped’, hence their alternative Italian name of ‘ombelico’ (‘belly button’).

• “World Radio Day”, a UN observation to remember the unique power of radio to touch lives and bring people together across every corner of the globe. (Shouldn’t we get the day off or something?)

• “Get a Different Name Day”, set aside to give us the opportunity to pick one we’d really like. (***Find listeners with really odd names and ask them what nickname they’d like to be called***)
(***See “BS Alternate names for Valentine’s Day”, below***)

• “International Condom Day”, initiated by the AIDS Healthcare Foundation in an effort to reduce the spread of HIV through safe sex practices. Since its inception in 2009, it has been an informal observance celebrated in advance of Valentine’s Day. (I take a condom with me wherever I go.  Unfortunately, it’s always the same one…)

• “Employee Legal Awareness Day”, a day to make employees aware of the legal duties involved in conducting their day-to-day activities and the legal risks incurred by failure to fulfil those duties.

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Valentine’s Day
[Thurs] Ferris Wheel Day
[Fri] Caregivers Day
[Fri] Singles Awareness Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2000 [19] The last original “Peanuts” comic strip appears in newspapers, one day after creator Charles M. Shulz dies

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2007 [12] Rod Stewart is paid $1 million to perform for 1 hour at billionaire Steve Schwarzman’s 60th birthday bash in NYC’s Park Avenue Armory

2011 [08] At the 53rd Grammy Awards, Lady Antebellum wins “Song Of the Year” and “Record Of the Year” for ‘Need You Now’; Arcade Fire’s ‘The Suburbs’ scoops “Album Of the Year”

2016 [03] Justin Bieber’s ‘Love Yourself’ replaces his song ‘Sorry’ at #1 on the “Billboard Hot 100″ (the 3rd consecutive #1 single from his “Purpose” album)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2003 [16] Dan Price completes a 4,000-mile cross-country ride from Joseph, Oregon to Key West, Florida … on a tricycle (averages 50-to-60 miles a day, camps out at night)

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ Studies show that when people fall in love, they lose an average of two close friends.
✓ Being in love makes you a less productive person, according to researchers from the University of Maryland.
✓ A surfer once sued another surfer for “stealing his wave”.
✓ The human brain has the capacity to store everything that you experience.
✓ 85% of people tend to walk around in circles while talking on the phone.
✓ It is not widely publicized, but Mr. Clean’s first name is “Veritably.”
-WhattheFFacts, WhattheFact

BS THINGS I THINK ABOUT WHEN I RUN:
• Why am I running?
• Since when do the buses run early?
• Have I outrun my problems yet?
• Please, officer, don’t shoot me in the butt…
• I’ve been running for like 30 seconds.  Am I skinny yet?
• So this is what they mean by “full-body pain”.
• Am I outside of the blast radius?
• McDonald’s has to be getting close…
• You can’t outrun ugly.
• She sure is good at playing hard-to-get!
• Who are you kidding?  I don’t run.
-Twitter

Best of BS . . .
BS ALTERNATE NAMES FOR VALENTINE’S DAY:

• You’d Better Get Her Something Even if She Says She Doesn’t Want Anything Day
• Netflix and Ch…ocolate Day
• You Didn’t Get Her The Right Gift For Christmas Do-Over Day
• Keep Florists in Business Day
• Make Singles’ Self Esteem Plummet Day
• Unrealistic Expectations Day
• Cheesy Card Day
• Procrastinate Getting Your Significant Other Something Until the Day Before Day
• Please Forgive Me for Everything in the Past Year Day
• Discount Chocolate Eve
• Festivus
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

BS VALENTINE QUIZ:
Q: What romantic souvenir did Peter the Great give to his unfaithful wife?
A: He had the head of his wife’s lover cut off and put into a jar of preserving alcohol, which he then placed by her bed.

Q: It takes exactly 18 minutes to cool this Valentine treat. What is it?
A: The hot chocolate that makes up a Hershey’s ‘Kiss’.

Q: Whose heart beats faster – your lover’s after a bout of passion, or your dog’s when you walk in the door?
A: A dog’s heart beats up to 40 times faster than a human’s.

Q: Why is it that we love someone with “all of our heart?” Why not the spleen?
A: It was widely believed in the Middle Ages that the heart was the center of human intelligence.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Women can’t complain about men anymore, until they get better taste in them.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Almost 40% of women in a survey say THIS is what they really want for Valentine’s Day. What is it?
Answer:  A babysitter

BS PHONE STARTER:
What romantic movie have you watched and re-watched the most times?

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

 

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