January 9 2019

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Wednesday, January 9, 2019 – Edition #6368

You’re Up to Your Eyeballs in Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Barbie is coming to the big-screen, with Margot Robbie in the title role! The Barbie adaptation marks the first announced deal to come out of Mattel’s newly-established Mattel Films, as well as the first collaboration between Mattel Films and Warner Bros. Pictures.  In addition to her starring role, Robbie will also co-produce the film.  No release date has been announced.
-Variety
★ Christian Bale thanked the man down under for his inspiration after winning the Best Actor award for “Vice,” but the official worshippers of the Dark Lord think he may have been a bit modest.  Bale scored a Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Musical or Comedy for his portrayal of former Vice President Dick Cheney. During his victory speech, he said: “Thank you to Satan for giving me inspiration for playing this role.” The Church of Satan naturally responded, saying, “To us, Satan is a symbol of pride, liberty and individualism…and it serves as a…projection of our highest personal potential. As Mr. Bale’s own talent and skill won him the award, this is fitting.”
(Still, you have to wonder how Cheney felt when he heard that Bale was inspired by Satan to play the part of him!)
-TheBlast
★ While all the stars you know and love are out doing interviews on the Golden Globe red carpet every year, there is a big dinner being served inside. Most miss the dinner, and end up drunk and starving for the award presentations.  This year, Melissa McCarthy and her husband Ben Falcone managed to smuggle 30-40 ham and cheese baguettes into the broadcast without getting caught onscreen over the course of four hours. No one is sure how they managed to do it, but apparently many in attendance were incredibly grateful they did.
-Cosmopolitan
★ Kaley Cuoco has opened up about the upcoming filming of the last episode of “The Big Bang Theory”, and like the rest of us, she expects a lot of tears. She said that “Going into Season 12, we were like, ‘We’ve got a whole season and a lot of episodes. Now we’re on the second half and it’s starting to get a little heavy.” Cuoco says by now, “There’s some tears welling up.” And she hopes they preshoot the whole last episode, because she likely won’t be able to hold it together.  The Big Bang Theory will end its run in May, but Cuoco doesn’t rule out the idea of reviving the show at some point.
(Because that’s what they do with ALL shows these days…)
-MSN
★ David Beckham’s latest menswear collection includes a collaboration with “Peaky Blinders”. The football legend launched his latest range with Kent & Curwen – the London fashion brand he co-owns – and unveiled his newest designs, including the flat cap, which is a staple of the BBC drama.  Beckham claims that he is a ”big fan of the show” and wants to maintain a certain ”authenticity” to his brand.
-ContactMusic

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Mahershala Ali, Maura Tierney, Jeff Tweedy
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Gwyneth Paltrow, Tony Hale, Trippie Redd
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Kevin Hart, Nicole Byer
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Andy Samberg, Josh Hutcherson, Charlie Hall
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Amy Adams, Tyler Perry, Mekki Leeper
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Danielle Staub, Meghan McCain
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Terry Crews, Jamie Oliver
• “The Talk” (CBS): Judith Light, Mike Bayer
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Gwyneth Paltrow, Cobie Smulders, Dr. Melina Jampolis
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Liev Schreiber
• “Schooled” (ABC): Series premiere. A spinoff from The Goldbergs set in the ’90s at a private school in Philadelphia.
• “Match Game” (ABC): Season 4 premiere. Kenan Thompson, Ellie Kemper, Tyler Hoechlin, Sherri Shepherd, Horatio Sanz and Jillian Bell are the panelists.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Imagine Dragons – will headline the first night of BottleRock 2019 at the Napa Valley Expo in California.  Neil Young, Logic, Mumford and Sons, Pharrell, Santana and OneRepublic will also perform. Recognized as one of the premier food- and wine-centric festivals on the West Coast, Napa runs from May 24-26. Tickets go on sale tomorrow.
• Florence + the Machine — will headline the 2019 Governors Ball along with Lil Wayne, The Strokes, and Tyler the Creator.  The ninth annual edition of New York City’s homegrown fest is set for May 31-June 2 on Randall’s Island Park.
• Janelle Monáe — unveiled a futuristic video for her song ‘Screwed’ on Monday. The song and video feature Zoë Kravitz, and is part of Monáe’s film project “Dirty Computer – An Emotion Picture.” The song appears her“Dirty Computer” album, which is nominated for the album of the year Grammy.
• BTS – have signed a deal with the toy company Mattel to produce dolls of the boy band. Shares of Mattel Inc. spiked almost 9 percent Monday, a day after it announced a licensing agreement that also includes collectible figures and games.
• Guns N’ Roses — singer Axl Rose surprised his fans by debuting ‘Rock the Rock’, his first new song in over a decade, in a truly unique way – on a Looney Tunes cartoon. The episode “Armageddon Outta Here, Part Two” features a cartoon Axl fronting an animated band featuring Bugs Bunny and Porky Pig.
• REO Speedwagon – have announced a 9-disc box set, out March 1 in North America and Feb. 22 in the U.K.  “REO Speedwagon: Classic Years 1978-1990” includes their 1980 top-seller, “Hi Infidelity,” as well a number of other landmark albums and a “wealth of bonus tracks”.
• Dan + Shay – Their song ‘Speechless’ is No. 1 on the Billboard Country Airplay chart for the fourth consecutive week. The song was inspired by Dan’s marriage to Abby Law and Shay’s marriage to Hannah Billingsley. The video features footage from both weddings.
• Florida Georgia Line – Singer Tyler Hubbard recently wrote a letter to his 8-year-old self as part of a meditation exercise.  The result — which he shared on social media – includes advice to “hold onto that childlike energy and imagination.”  In his Instagram post, Hubbard notes that the experience “opened my eyes to so much.”

THE SHIP YARDS:
A giant market made of shipping containers will open in Toronto this spring.  A 2.6-acre plot of land that has been vacant for years is being transformed into a vibrant marketplace with restaurants, bars and shops, all of which will be built entirely from shipping containers.  Construction, which involves assembling and, in some cases, stacking upwards of 120 of the standard metal boxes used to transport goods on trucks, ships and trains, is almost complete.  The size of the spaces will vary, ranging from 140 to 1,800 square feet. In some cases, multiple containers will be connected together with the walls removed, to create much bigger spaces.  All told, the plan is to house about 30 different business on the site.  In addition to restaurants and stores, there are plans for showrooms and studio spaces. Artists will be commissioned to decorate the exteriors.  “Stackt”, the company behind the concept, has a two-year lease on the land, after which the city plans to transform the area into a public park.
(At which time, they’ll have to “ship out”.)
(Great idea, but it’ll be loud when it rains!)
(The first person to ask if they offer free shipping gets a fat lip!)
-CBC

PACKING YOUR MEAL:
Forget about that fancy new Instant Pot that you got for Christmas.  The really big cooking trend for 2019 just might be…foil pack dinners!  Searches for foil pack dinners, also known as “tin foil dinners”, and sometimes as “hobo dinners”, are up over 200% this winter, and are said to be perfect for busy cooks, because they don’t involve a lot of prep, they are low-mess, flavorful, and can be very nutritious.  If you aren’t familiar with the routine, cooking a foil pack dinner is a pretty simple process: dump some ingredients in tinfoil, bake (or grill), and serve.  And you can prep the packets ahead of time so all you have to do at dinnertime is toss them in the oven.
(I could still screw that up!)
(Why does it sound like we’re one apple cobbler short of a TV dinner here?)
(Note:  Do NOT microwave.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.)
-HuffingtonPost

CES 2019:
Highlights from the biggest tech trade show of the year, the Consumer Electronics Show, running this week in Las Vegas …
➢ Ovis Suitcase:  Tired of all that suitcase-schlepping at the airport?  This battery-powered baggage follows you around, hands-free, at up to 6mph.  Cameras allow it to learn who its owner is, and if someone else walks off with your suitcase, you’ll be notified via smartphone app. $799  (I hope it knows that we’ll have to part at the baggage-check!)
➢ High-Tech Toothbrushes:  The Y-Brush features a mouthguard-like shape and vibrating motor, which promises to clean half your mouth in 10 seconds. $125 (You’ll notice they decided not to name it the “Motormouth”!)
➢  WT2Plus Real-Time translator:  These earbuds allow you to have a conversation with someone who speaks a different language. $219
➢ LavvieBot Self-Cleaning Litter Box:  A rake on the inside gently and quietly removes clumps.  You can set different timed intervals for the box to clean the litter bed. Waste is kept in a bag-lined drawer which only needs to be emptied once every two weeks.  An app monitors your cat’s weight and can also text you when your kitty goes.  $379 (I don’t have one of these fancy litter boxes, yet somehow, I too can tell when kitty has used the litter box!)
➢ Samsung’s “The Wall” TV:  With a 219-inch screen, you can see where it gets its name.  Also available: The 98-inch Samsung Q900 LED TV with 8K resolution.  Not sure of the price, but last year’s 85-incher was a paltry $15,000 (Good.  Hopefully I can pick up a used one of those…)
(It’s great to know what I’ll be buying 5-10 years from now when the prices come down!)
-CNET, CNBC

DID YOU KNOW?
Research suggests that forcing an unremorseful child to apologize is pointless because it may cause the child on the receiving end to dislike the apologizer even more after the insincere apology.
-Curiosity

BS CHRONOMETER 01.09.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1944 [75] Jimmy Page, Heston UK, classic rock musician (Led Zeppelin-‘Stairway to Heaven’, ‘Whole Lotta Love’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1992-Yardbirds, 1995-Led Zeppelin)

1955 [64] J.K. Simmons, Grosse Pointe MI, movie actor (“La La Land”, “Spider-Man” movies) COMING UP…”17 Bridges”, 2019

1967 [52] Dave Matthews, Johannesburg, South Africa, alt-rock singer (Dave Matthews Band-‘What Would You Say’, ‘Don’t Drink the Water’)/Farm Aid Board of Directors

1973 [46] Sean Paul, Kingston, Jamaica, rapper, singer, producer (‘Get Busy’, w/Sia-‘Cheap Thrills’)

1978 [41] A.J. (Alexander James) McLean, West Palm Beach FL, pop singer (Backstreet Boys-‘Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)’, ‘I Want It That Way’)

1982 [37] Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge (Kate Middleton), Reading, UK, wife of Britain’s Prince William/mother of George and Charlotte

1989 [30] Nina Dobrev, Sofia, Bulgaria [raised Toronto ON], TV actress (“The Vampire Diaries” 2009-15, “Degrassi: The Next Generation” 2006-09)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Consumer Electronics Show”, continues today in Las Vegas and runs through Friday. CES is the world’s gathering place for all those who thrive on the business of consumer technologies. It has served as the proving ground for innovators and breakthrough technologies for over 50 years.

• “Apricot Day”, saluting the fruit that inspired the name of a color. The word ‘apricot’ means ‘precious’ in Latin. The apricot tree emerged in China more than 4,000 years ago.

• “International Choreographers Day”, observed on the birth date of George Balanchine, one of the world’s greatest choreographers, born in 1904 in St Petersburg, Russia. Altogether everybody: five, six, seven, eight ….”

• “Play God Day”.  So, what would you do if you were the Big Guy/Big Gal for a day?

• “Static Electricity Day”.  I guess you can count on this being a bad-hair day…

• “Word Nerd Day”.  Word nerd fact according to the Oxford Dictionary: “bookkeeper” is the only word in the English language without any hyphens with three consecutive repeated letters.

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Houseplant Appreciation Day
[Thurs] Peculiar People Day
[Fri] National Milk Day
[Fri] Learn Your Name in Morse Code Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2000 [19] Sitcom “Malcolm In the Middle”, starring Frankie Muniz & future “Breaking Bad” actor Bryan Cranston, premieres on FOX-TV

2008 [11] Spice Girl (and ironically, future fashion designer) Victoria Beckham is named “Worst Dressed Celebrity” in an annual list of fashion disasters by critic Mr. Blackwell

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2002 [17] Michael Jackson receives the ‘Artist of the Century’ award at the American Music Awards

2014 [05] “Rolling Stone” magazine ranks “The 10 Greatest Double Albums of All-Time” …
5. Led Zeppelin – “Physical Graffiti”
4. Bruce Springsteen – “The River”
3. Rolling Stones – “Exile on Main Street”
2. Pink Floyd – “The Wall”
1. The Beatles – “The White Album”

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2007 [12] Apple CEO Steve Jobs unveils the ‘iPhone’ at the Macworld convention in San Francisco CA (within days, people stop looking up)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2011 [08] “Chaser” the border collie is reported to have learned 1,022 words at Wofford College in North Carolina and can act in accordance with each of them

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ Before the invention of color TV, 75% of people said they dreamed in black and white. Today, only 12% do.
✓ It would take 1500 hours (62.5 days) to watch all of Netflix’s 2018 original content.
✓ The full name of the famous Chuck E. Cheese’s mouse is Charles Entertainment Cheese.
✓ An estimated 1 million dogs in the U.S. have been named primary beneficiary in their owners’ wills.
✓ In 1997, a Louisville woman left actor Charles Bronson all of her money in her will—a total of about $300,000. She’d never met him; she was just a fan.
✓ Lego is the largest tire manufacturer in the world.
-WhattheFFacts

BS IF PEOPLE TALKED TO OTHER PROFESSIONALS THE WAY THEY TALK TO TEACHERS:

• “Ah, a zookeeper. So, you just babysit the animals all day?”
• “My colon never acts this way at home. Are you sure you’re reading the colonoscopy results correctly? Did you ever think that maybe you just don’t like my colon?”
• “I’d love to just play with actuary statistics all day. That would be so fun! I bet you don’t even feel like you’re at work!”
• “So you run a ski lodge? Do you just, like, chill during the summer? Must be nice.”
• “You’re a sanitation worker, huh? I hated my garbage collectors when I was growing up.”
• “Do you even read your patients’ charts, or do you just assign them a random dosage based on how nice they’ve been to you?”
• “Oh, you’re a stand-up comedian, huh? So, you just stand up there and BS until your set is done?”
• “Before you give me a ticket, Officer, I just wanted to mention: My taxes pay your salary.”
-McSweeneys

Best of BS . . .
BS FAKE WORKOUT FACTS:

• If your name is Jim, you get 10% off of your gym membership.
• It only works if you take a selfie before you start.
• More people have died using a treadmill than have died because they didn’t use a treadmill.
• If you get a personal trainer, you will seem more interesting at a party.
• The first rule of CrossFit: Always talk about CrossFit!
• Men never notice a woman’s yoga pants.
• Planet Fitness replaced Pluto as the ninth planet in the solar system.
• Wearing workout clothes all day is equivalent to a 1 hour workout.
• It doesn’t count unless you grunt.
• I do it all the time.
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I wonder if my vet’s receptionist realizes how many people’s passwords she knows?

BS PHONE STARTER:
What is your biggest phobia (rational or not…)?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  33% of people have done THIS before taking a Selfie. What is it?
Answer:  Floss their teeth

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Life is about making an impact, not making an income.

 

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