Wednesday, January 18, 2006        Edition: #3199
Bully For You!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT “Skating With Celebrities” debuts on FOX-TV, the latest ‘—-ing With the Stars’-type show that pairs up has-been B-listers like pop singer Deborah Gibson (“Foolish Beat”), comedian Dave Coulier (“Full House”) & TV actor Todd Bridges (“Diff’rent Strokes”) with has-been competitive skaters like Kurt Browning, Scott Hamilton & Nancy Kerrigan (oh, is knee-whacking allowed?) . . . “American Idol” judge Simon Cowell is set to make his first movie, the story of 2 young wannabes striving to make it to the top which insiders say is a thinly disguised account of his own rise to fame (what a surprise) . . . 18-year-old “American Idol 3″ runner-up Diana DeGarmo is heading to Broadway to join the cast of “Hairspray” for a limited run beginning FEBRUARY 7th (she should be insulted – the show’s about ‘a chubby teen who wants to appear on a TV dance show’) . . . ‘James Bond’ bosses have cast little-known Italian actress Caterina Murino as one of the ‘Bond girls’ in the upcoming “Casino Royale” (her acting qualifications – she’s a former ‘Miss Italy’ contestant) . . . Meantime, new ‘007′ Daniel Craig has visited the Aston Martin headquarters in Britain to view and test-drive the car that will be used in “Casino Royale”, a new model called the Aston Martin DBS (Sean Connery first drove an Aston Matin DB5 in 1964′s “Goldfinger”) . . . Why is the WB dumping “7th Heaven”, the most popular program in its history? It’s all about the money, or lack of it – the net is losing $16 million on the show THIS SEASON alone . . . The rumor proved true about Angelina Jolie’s pregnancy so maybe this one has merit too – word has it Cameron Diaz is expecting, at least according to gossip that’s attributed to Justin Timberlake’s mom (who knows a thing or two about how to keep sonny’s name in the news) . . . And word has it Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie will stick to the old Pitt family tradition of passing on the father’s name, the relatively normal-sounding ‘William Bradley Pitt’, if they end up having a son (you can bet wacky-named Zahara & Maddox are gonna hate him!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alanis Morissette – She has 2 major projects in the works, a book about her life and a new album which is expected to be released NEXT YEAR.
• Gretchen Wilson – TONIGHT she kicks off her “Redneck Revolution” tour in Dallas TX, with opening acts Van Zant & Blaine Larsen.
• INXS – TONIGHT in Vancouver they kick off a tour introducing new singer JD Fortune, winner of “Rock Star: INXS”.
• Linkin Park – EmCee Mike Shinoda has put together Fort Minor, a solo project in which he’s accompanied by a group of close friends. TONIGHT they do the “Tonight Show” on NBC-TV.
• U2 – Promoters are adding an extra show in Sao Paulo, Brazil after chaos broke out in ticket line-ups. Tens of thousands of fans were left empty-handed on the first day of ticket sales when cash registers broke down in the supermarket chain that was selling tickets.

THE DOG WHISPERER:
The hottest thing in Hollywood right now is pet psychology and there’s none hotter than ‘dog whisperer’ Cesar Millan. He’s operated the Dog Psychology Center in Los Angeles for the past 8 years and treated the pampered pooches of Will Smith, Michael Eisner & Oprah Winfrey, among others. According to Millan, Oprah’s dog ‘Sophie’ was unsettled by her overzealous coddling. Millan claims a dog is ‘a window to see the person from the inside out’. (Oh no, I’ve got a gut full of fur and slobber?)
PHONER: 323.235.3431
NET: http://www.dogpsychologycenter.com/
– AP

CUTTING-EDGE VOCAB:
• ‘Ergomorphic’ – Relating to an object or material that changes shape to conform with the body part that is using it. (“Little Zach’s teeth protector is ergomorphic. We just microwaved it, then popped it in.”)
• ‘Googleverse’ – The products, services & technologies belonging to or associated with Google Corp. (“I tried to find a better search engine outside the Googleverse, but couldn’t.”)
• ‘Minipreneurs’ – People with side jobs running a small business, often out of a home office. (“I have to share a desk in the rec room with my wife. She’s a Tupperware minipreneur.”)

THE DA VINCI TRAIL:
Travel companies are developing tours based around key sites mentioned in Dan Brown’s best-selling book, “The Da Vinci Code”, just in time for the launch of the spin-off movie starring Tom Hanks & Audrey Tautou that’s due in MAY. British locations likely to benefit from being featured in the film include Temple Church, Westminster Abbey, Rosslyn Chapel, and Belvoir Castle. “The Da Vinci Code” is set to become the 2nd-most-popular book ever, behind “The Bible”. (But it spawned more movies.)
– Reuters

BS AMAZING FACT:
The length of a man’s fingers can reveal how physically aggressive he is.

TAKING THE ‘EWW’ OUT OF POO:
Des Moines, Iowa inventor Loran Balvanz has received a $500,000 federal grant to mass produce his invention, ‘The Tempest‘, a machine that removes the odor from pig manure. It works by spinning manure at a high speed to remove the water, which then vaporizes in the outside air. After the water’s eliminated, the smaller quantity of solids left over can more easily be stored and used as fertilizer when needed. (Cool, it’s HDHP … High-Density Hog Poop!)
– Yahoo! News

SCIENTISTS SAY:
An occasional BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … Couples who have a TV set in the bedroom have sex half as often as those who don’t. And the Italian finds the affect is even more pronounced for over-50s, diminishing intimate relations by almost 80%. (Wow, that’d be like half-a-time a year, right?)
• Scientists say … Laughing out loud at funny movies speeds up the circulation as effectively as exercise or even taking cholesterol-lowering drugs. The ‘feel-good’ effect from a comedy is said to last about 45 minutes. In contrast, University of Maryland researchers say watching an emotional drama can have the opposite effect as the mental distress can reduce blood flow. (We’re supposed to believe watching “Cheaper By the Dozen 2″ is better for you than “Munich”?)
• Scientists say … Women’s armpits are sexy! A study at Charles University in Prague had 42 men sniff armpit sweat collected from women on pads. They were found to be attracted to the aroma emitted during the most fertile stage of the menstrual cycle but repelled by the odor during periods, when the odds of conception are lowest. (Wow, and no one’s ever written a love song about this?)

CONGRATS, YOU NOW OWN A CLASSIC CAR!
A 1968 Corvette that was stolen from a garage in Queens NY on January 22, 1969 when it was still new has just been recovered in California. It was identified as stolen in November, 2005 as it was being loaded onto a container ship bound for Sweden. Detectives then spent a month sifting through some 10,000 archived stolen car reports to find the original owner, one Alan Poster, who needless to say was flabbergasted to receive a call from California Highway Patrol. Since Poster’s insurance did not cover the theft 37 years ago and he was never compensated, he’s entitled to get it back … a little bit modified, that is. It’s missing the gas tank, has a new engine & transmission, but no longer runs. (Value new – about $5,600. Value now – $20,000-plus.)
– Reuters

TOP SPOKES-CREATURES:
The most-liked brand icons, according to a new consumer survey by Marketing Evaluations …
5. The GEICO Gecko (GEICO Auto Insurance)
4. Tony the Tiger (Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes)
3. The Aflac Duck (Aflac Insurance)
2. Poppin’ Fresh (Pillsbury Doughboy)
1. The M&Ms (Mars M&M products)
– “Forbes”

HE PUTS ON WOMEN’S CLOTHING & HANGS AROUND IN BARS:
A Croatian lumberjack claims his life has changed since he received a kidney transplant – from a woman. 56-year-old Stjepan Lizacic (pronounced ‘STEP-in liz-ASS-ick’) is suing the local health department, claiming that’s he’s become a laughing stock. While he admits the operation saved his life, he contends he was never warned about the ‘side effects’ – he’s gone from enjoying heavy drinking sessions with pals to a passion for ‘female jobs’ like ironing, sewing, washing dishes, sorting clothes … even knitting. (As Monty Python once sang, “I cut down trees. I wear high heels, suspendies and a bra. I wish I’d been a girlie, just like my dear mama!”)
– Ananova News

FOR THE RECORD:
• THIS WEEK British couple John & Helen Taylor set off on a round-the-world road trip with the aim of setting a ‘World Record for Fuel Efficiency’ in a car. They hope to use less than 50 tankfuls of gasoline to travel 18,000 miles (29,000 km) through 25 countries. They’re driving a standard Volkswagen Golf, but will use ‘driving techniques designed to maximize efficiency’. (Translation: He’s pushing.)
• 52-year-old Austrian athlete Josef Resnik has broken the world record for ‘Endurance Skiing’ after spending 9 solid days on the slopes. During the 240 consecutive hours, he only paused for short bathroom breaks, for eating, and brief showers to stay warm. Resnik already holds world records for completing a 15-day triathlon and being the first to go around-the-world in 80 days – on a bicycle! (Now he’s setting a record with a 90-day apres-ski party.)

FLIPPING THE BIRD:
A Leeds UK man has found out his live-in girlfriend cheated on him after she was ratted out by his – pet parrot. The 8-year-old parrot, ‘Ziggy’, began squawking “Hiya Gary” in the girlfriend’s voice whenever her cellphone rang. It also made sloppy kissing sounds whenever it heard the name ‘Gary’ on TV. When the girlfriend finally ‘fessed up, the poor lad dumped both her … and the parrot. Seems it was just too much torture hearing the bird repeat Gary’s name over and over. (Not to mention the all night moaning.)
– “The Sun”

THE BULL SHEET 01.18.2K6

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1955 [51] Kevin Costner, Lynwood CA, movie actor/director (Oscar-“Dances With Wolves”)

1961 [45] Mark Messier, Edmonton AB, NHL center 1979-2005 (NY Rangers, Vancouver Canucks, Edmonton Oilers)/6 Stanley Cups/15-time NHL All-Star/future Hockey Hall of Famer

1969 [37] Jesse L Martin, Rocky Mountain VA, TV actor (‘Detective Ed Green’ on “Law & Order” since 1999)/movie actor (“Rent”)

1971 [35] Jonathan Davis, Bakersfield CA, rock singer (Korn-“Did My Time”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Cut Yourself Some Slack Day”, a day to ‘do unto ourselves what we would have others do unto us’. Hey, give yourself a break!

• “Pooh Day”, honoring the birthday of “Winnie-the-Pooh” author AA Milne (1882-1956) in London UK.

• “Weedless Wednesday”, a focal point of Canada’s “National Non-Smoking Week” from its beginning in 1977, focusing media and public attention on the benefits of cessation and the community resources available to help smokers quit.
NET: http://www.ncth.ca/NCTH_new.nsf

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2000 [06] 38-year-old TV actor Michael J Fox announces he’s leaving “Spin City” to fight Parkinson’s disease

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1996 [10] Lisa Marie Presley files for divorce from Michael Jackson

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1917 [89] ‘Income Tax’ is introduced in Canada as a ‘temporary measure’ to help war effort

1994 [12] 1st ‘Automatic Breadmaker’ debuts at Chicago’s International Housewares Show

1996 [10] 1st computer software on DVD is released (phone listings for the entire USA)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1997 [09] Norwegian Borge Ousland crosses Antarctica, all 1,675 miles – alone! (so how do we really know if he did it?)

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] International Sing-Out Day
[Thurs] Penguin Awareness Day
[Thurs-Jan 29] 2006 “Sundance Film Festival”
[Fri] Philately Day
[Sat] Squirrel Appreciation Day
[Sat] Miss America Pageant (Las Vegas NV)
[Sun] Answer Your Cat’s Question Day
[Sun] Producers Guild of America Awards (Los Angles)
[Mon] Canadian General Election
This Week Is . . . Let Men Be Our Heroes Week
This Month Is . . . Celebration of Life Month

BULL’S BITS
      
BS SIGNS YOU MAY SOON BE LOOKING FOR A NEW JOB:

According to Jean Chatzky’s book, “You Don’t Have To Be Rich”, there’s a 1 in 16 chance that you will lose your job THIS YEAR. But how can you tell?
• Your new business cards seem to have an ‘expiration date’ on them.
• You’ve been ordered to turn off your computer after lunch in order to save on electricity.
• They’ve introduced a new efficiency expert – Steve Carell.
• They’ve moved your desk to the basement and taken away your company stapler.
• Your boss says, “Remember, there is no ‘u’ in team.”
• The people in Human Resources have started acting really nice to you.
• Your CEO just fell past your window.
– BBspot

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: A recent poll of parents aged 40-to-45 finds that most would go back to school if a class were offered on THIS topic.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: How to raise teenagers.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Power does not corrupt fools, but fools corrupt power.

 


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