Tuesday, January 17, 2006        Edition: #3198
Another Sheetload of Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT “American Idol 5″ debuts, with Paula, Randy, Simon & Seacrest back with what’s touted as an ‘edgier’ season (aren’t the initial auditions far more entertaining than the actual singing competition?) . . . TONIGHT the new CBS-TV series “Love Monkey” debuts, starring Tom Cavanagh (“Ed”) & Vancouver actor Jason Priestley (“Beverly Hills 90210″), as a record-label scout & his pal, enjoying the single life in the Big Apple . . . “Sopranos” creator David Chase says the show’s upcoming 12-episode 6th season will be its last – well, except for 8 ‘bonus episodes’ after the final season is over (wouldn’t that be like … er, another season?) . . . Reality show producer Mark Burnett is teaming with Yahoo! & Live Planet (Ben Affleck & Matt Damon’s company) in a bid to bring back the shelved ABC-TV project, “The Runner”, which focuses on someone sneaking around the country while viewers attempt to find them, using TV clues and online research . . . Meantime, Matt Damon has confirmed that he & new wife Luciana are expecting a baby girl (no wonder they wed suddenly LAST MONTH) . . . And Tom Cruise has reportedly gifted pregnant fiancée Katie Holmes with a DVD compendium of every movie he has acted in (all 30 of them), each inscribed with a special handwritten message (“Focus on this: You are still under my power. You will continue this charade as long as I say …”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Keith Urban – His sold-out “Alive in ’05″ tour has been extended and, even though it doesn’t rhyme, is to be called “Still Alive in ’06″. It’s said to be one of the most electrifying shows on the road.
• Madonna – She’s reportedly set to build a horse-jumping course at her country estate in Wiltshire, England. After suffering injuries from falling off a horse LAST YEAR, she’s jumped right back on and is now taking lessons from British Olympic silver medalist William Fox-Pitt.
• Sheryl Crow – She’s signed up Ralph Lauren to design her wedding gown and her soon-to-be stepdaughters’ bridesmaids dresses for her marriage to cyclist Lance Armstrong THIS SPRING.
• Tim McGraw – Rumor has it he & wife Faith Hill will tour together beginning in APRIL.
• Music in stores TODAY – Hall & Oates’ “Ecstasy on the Edge & Rock ‘n Soul, Part 1″; Nina Simone’s “Silk & Soul”; and Paul Butterfield’s “Put it in Your Ear”.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Junebug” ( Dramedy – DVD ): Embeth Davidtz plays a NYC art dealer who travels with her new husband to North Carolina to meet her in-laws. Co-stars Ben McKenzie (“The OC”) and Amy Adams, who won a “Sundance” prize for her role as a pregnant Southern blabbermouth.
• “Lord of War” ( Crime Thriller – DVD ): Nicolas Cage plays an arms dealer who confronts the morality of his work as he is being chased by an Interpol agent (Ethan Hawke). Cage’s character, ‘Yuri Orlov’, is a composite of 5 real-life arms dealers. The tanks used in the movie are real and belong to a Czech arms dealer.
• “Two for the Money” ( Sports Thriller – DVD/VHS ): Matthew McConaughey plays a former college football star who, after suffering a career-ending injury, aligns himself with one of the most renowned bookies in the sports-gambling biz (Al Pacino). Partially shot in Vancouver.
• “Venom ( Horror Thriller – DVD ): A pack of teenagers run for their lives through the swamps of Louisiana as they are chased by ‘Mr Jangles’, a man possessed by 13 evil souls who is relentless in his pursuit of new victims. Features a no-name cast.
• Also out on DVD TODAY – “Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room” (documentary), “The Mary Tyler Moore Show: The Complete 3rd Season”, “Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman – The Complete 2nd Season”, and “Doogie Howser MD: Season 3″.

BS AMAZING FACT:
It’s possible for a human to blow up balloons via the ear. A 55-year-old factory worker from China reportedly discovered 20 years ago that air leaked from his ears, and he can now inflate balloons and blow out candles.

I’M NOT DRUNK, JUST A LITTLE SPACED OUT:
Japanese sake (pronounced ‘SOCK-ee’) producers are hoping a new batch brewed with yeast that spent 10 days in outer space will renew interest in the traditional Japanese drink and boost flagging sales. Younger Japanese consider sake an old man’s drink so the new brand, dubbed ‘Space Sake’, is being made with yeast which was sent for a visit to the International Space Station aboard a Russian Soyuz rocket LAST YEAR. Consumers are being urged to ‘sip it with dreams and romantic ideas in your mind, and you will get the taste of outer space’. (Until you pass out and enter a black hole.)
– “The Guardian”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A look at who we are and the things we do …
• 90% of motorists will be involved in at least 1 traffic accident in their lifetime.
• 45% of moms use their kids’ full names when punishing them.
• 40% of pet owners bake or cook for their pets.
• 22% of married couples first met their spouses at work.  
• 12% of men who are not fathers peruse fashion magazines, compared to just 6% of men who are fathers.
• 4% of men admit that, while driving, they’ve put on makeup.

NOW EAR THIS:
A spider that nested in the ear of a Swedish woman has been removed – after 27 days! The black spider, reportedly the size of a thumbnail, apparently crept into the woman’s ear while she was sleeping and went undiscovered for almost a month. The clueless woman says she experienced a slight loss of hearing but assumed it was just due to wax build-up. Then when she began hearing ‘a scratching sound’ she decided to take action. It was flushed out alive and crawled away. (Okay, how many of you just stuck an exploratory finger in your ear?)
– “Expressen”

DRIVING FEARS:
According to a poll conducted for travel guide publisher “Fodor’s”, here’s what worries us most about driving …
5. Not having enough money for toll booth. (3%)
4. Forgetting where vehicle is parked. (3%)
3. Running out of gas. (24%)
2. Locking keys in car. (27%)
1. Getting lost. (43%)
– Netscape Autos

THE NEW GATEWAY DRUG:
A neuro-linguistic study carried out on over 80 novels written by Agatha Christie has concluded that the world-famous mystery writer used words and phrases which hypnotized her readers, making her novels impossible to put down. Scientists from various universities working on ‘The Agatha Project’ conclude that her writing mirrors techniques used by hypno-therapists to mesmerize their patients. The researchers also claim that Christie’s phrasing raises levels of serotonin and endorphins in the brains of readers, thus triggering a pleasure response which causes fans to re-read her novels again and again. (Could this explain how her play, “The Mousetrap” has been continuously playing in London for 54 consecutive years?)
– BBC News

OUR FAVORITE SMELLS:
According to a recent poll on scents, here’s what stinks best …
5. Babies.
4. A wood fire.
3. Lavender.
2. Rain.
1. Baking bread.
– AP

MUSIC PANTS:
Levi’s has designed a pair of jeans complete with an iPod docking cradle fitted in a pocket. The ‘RedWire DLX’ jeans also come with retractable headphones and a joystick in the watch pocket to enable easy operation. The iPod-compatible pants are believed to be the first of their kind on the market. The price? Circa $200. (In answer to your trite question: yes, that IS a joystick in my pocket … but I’m happy to see you anyway.)
– “GQ”

THE BULL SHEET 01.17.2K6

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1931 [75] James Earl Jones, Arkabutla MS, movie actor (voice of ‘Darth Vader’ in “Star Wars” series)/ballsy voice-over announcer (“This is CNN”)

1939 [67] Maury Povich, Washington DC, TV talk show host (“Maury Povich Show” since 1991)/Mr Connie Chung since 1984

1942 [64] Muhammad Ali, Louisville KY, 3-time heavyweight boxing champ with career record of 56-5 including 37 KOs and 19 successful title defenses for $69-million total earnings/Parkinson’s victim

1955 [51] Steve Earle, Fort Monroe VA, alt-country singer (“Guitar Town”)

1959 [47] Susanna Hoffs, Newport Beach CA, oldies singer (The Bangles-“Walk Like an Egyptian”)

1962 [44] Jim Carrey, Newmarket ON, movie actor (“Fun with Dick & Jane”)

1966 [40] Joshua Malina, NYC, TV actor (‘Will Bailey’ on “The West Wing” since 2002)

1969 [37] Naveen Andrews, London UK, TV actor (‘Sayid Jarrah’ on “Lost” since 2004)

1971 [35] Kid Rock (Robert James Ritchie), Romeo MI, country/rock singer (“Picture”)

1981 [25] Ray J (Willie Norwood Jr), McComb MS, pop singer (“One Wish”)/brother of singer/actress Brandy Norwood  FACTOID: TONIGHT he’s on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”
 
1982 [24] Amanda Wilkinson, Belleville ON, country singer (The Wilkinsons-“Jimmy’s Got a Girlfriend”)/TV comedy-reality show actor (CMT’s “The Wilkinsons”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Get to Know Your Customer Day”, a reminder about how important good customer service is for any business.

• “Judgment Day”, a day to look at yourself in the mirror and see how you’re doing on your New Year’s resolutions. (Tomorrow is ‘Sign Up at the Fitness Club Day’.) .

• “St Anthony Day”, honoring the patron saint of domestic animals. That’s why TODAY is also the annual “Blessing of the Animals” at the Cathedral in Mexico City, when chickens, cows and house pets decorated with flowers are on parade.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1995 [11] Shania Twain releases her first hit single, “Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under”

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1795 [211] 1st ‘Curling Club’ organized, the Dudingston Curling Society in Edinburgh, Scotland (and the next day, the 1st skip suffers a hangover)

1996 [10] Ottawa Senators play 1st game in new 18,000-seat ‘Palladium’ (later known as ‘Corel Centre’ and now renamed ‘Scotiabank Place’)

1874 [132] 1st well-known Siamese twins Chang and Eng, who are joined at the chest, die at 63 (after years of touring with the PT Barnum Show, they retired to 2 farms in North Carolina, married 2 sisters and raised 2 families – ALTERNATING nights between farms!)

1995 [11] NFL’s Los Angeles Rams announce move to St Louis

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Winnie the Pooh Day
[Wed] “Skating With Celebrities” debuts on FOX-TV
[Thurs] Penguin Awareness Day
[Thurs-Jan 29] 2006 “Sundance Film Festival”
[Fri] Philately Day
[Sat] Squirrel Appreciation Day
[Sat] “Miss America Pageant” (Las Vegas NV)
This Week Is … Non-Smoking Week in Canada
This Month Is … Personal Self-Defense Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• What would you get if you ordered a ‘Mae West’ in a diner?
a. A figure-8 cruller. [CORRECT]
b. 2 scoops of mashed potatoes.
c. A waitress-to-go.
d. Slapped.

• Black-eyed peas are not actually peas. What are they?
a. Really small asparagus.
b. Carrots in disguise.
c. A type of bean. [CORRECT]
d. A laxative.

• The first e-mail was sent over the Internet in …
a. 1991
b. 1981
c. 1971 [CORRECT]
d. Semaphore code.

• What is the only essential vitamin NOT found in the common white potato?
a. Vitamin A. [CORRECT]
b. Vitamin B.
c. Vitamin C.
d. Sour cream.
– “Totally Trivial “

BS BLATANT JOKE:
A woman having lunch with a few friends announces she’s discovered a way to keep her husband from staying out late at night. “Last night when I heard the front door open and my husband enter, I yelled down, ‘Jason, is that you?’” Her one friend turns to her and asks, “How is that going to stop him from staying out late?” She replies, “My husband’s name is Chuck.”

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The odds that you have one of THESE in your family are 1 in 250.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A genius.      

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

 


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