Friday, January 28, 2005        Edition: #2958
Good Morning, Sheetheads!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY Famous Players is temporarily lowering its movie admission prices to $9.95 from a maximum of $13.95 at all of its Ontario theaters (now you can afford the 4-dollar popcorn!) . . . SATURDAY CTV’s live (7 pm PST), 4-hour “One World: The Concert for Tsunami Relief” from Vancouver’s GM Place features Avril Lavigne, Sarah McLachlan, Barenaked Ladies & Chantal Kreviazuk . . . SATURDAY at the annual “DGA Awards” gala in Beverly Hills, Michael Moore is up for the ‘Outstanding Documentary Award’ and the late Christopher Reeve for ‘Outstanding Directorial Achievement in Movies for Television’ (“The Brooke Ellison Story”) . . . SUNDAY the 32nd “Annie Awards” from the International Animated Film Society will be handed out as “The Incredibles” leads nominations with 16 . . . For a new Volkswagen Golf ad, late movie actor Gene Kelly’s famous 1952 “Singin’ In The Rain” scene has been digitally reworked so it looks like he’s break-dancing – a bastardization that was actually approved by the Gene Kelly Foundation which owns rights to his material . . . Domestic diva/prison con Martha Stewart is taking a 4-week line-dancing course at the Alderson WV  correctional facility, already learning the steps to Brooks & Dunn’s “Boot Scoot Boogie” . . . THIS WEEKEND in Florida, NY Mets catcher Mike Piazza weds former “Baywatch” babe & “Playboy” ‘Miss October 1995′ centerfold, Alicia Rickter . . . Interesting that when original “Survivor” winner Richard Hatch appeared in Rhode Island court THIS WEEK charged with tax evasion, he was released on $50,000 bond and required to – undergo periodic substance-abuse testing (is this standard procedure for tax evaders?) . . .Adult-movie star Jenna Jameson is now hawking ‘Moan Tones’, a selection of moans and other sexual noises for use as cellphone ring-tones at  $2.50 a pop (guaranteed to liven up your dinner date!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alicia Keys – THIS WEEK she celebrated her 24th birthday by going cosmic bowling in NYC.
• Coldplay – They called in lawyers after it was rumored 6 tracks from their much-anticipated new album were leaked on an Internet file-sharing service. The tracks turned out to be fake.
• Destiny’s Child – Kelly Rowland has called off her engagement to Dallas Cowboy football player Roy Williams, according to “US Weekly”. Invitations for a MARCH wedding had already gone out, but guests are being notified the deal is off. Kelly’s rep insists the wedding is still on, but that the date has been changed.
• Kelly Clarkson – TODAY she’s on TV’s syndicated “Ellen DeGeneres Show”.
• Mark Chesnutt – SATURDAY he performs at the 13th “German American Country Music Federation Awards Show” in Erfurt, Germany. In Europe, he’s known as ‘Mr Honky Tonk International’. Catchy, ain’t it?
• Nickelback – Drummer Ryan Vikedal (Brooks AB) has left the band. There’s no word on why and no replacement has been named.
• Nirvana – “With The Lights Out” has become the biggest-selling box set in music history.
• Tragically Hip – They’ll perform on the “2005 Juno Awards” APRIL 3rd, along with wrinkle rocker Neil Young.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Million Dollar Baby” (PG-13 Drama opens wider): Hilary Swank plays a determined woman trying to establish herself as a boxer. Clint Eastwood & Morgan Freeman play retired boxers who run an LA gym where she shows up asking for help. This is the 57th movie in which Eastwood has acted, the 25th he’s directed, and the 21st he’s produced. Typically for an Eastwood film, it was shot in just 38 days. Winner of 2 Golden Globes, nominated for 7 Oscars.
• “Hide & Seek” (R-Rated Horror Thriller): Robert DeNiro plays a widower trying to piece together his life in the wake of his wife’s suicide. Dakota Fanning plays his daughter who finds solace in her imaginary friend – at least, at first. Famke Janssen co-stars.
• “Alone in the Dark” (R-Rated Horror Thriller): Based on the video game, the story focuses on a paranormal detective (Christian Slater) who unravels a series of mysterious events that lead him to ‘Shadow Island’, home of the ancient ‘Abskani’ people. Co-stars Stephen Dorff, and Tara Reid as a ‘brilliant anthropologist’ (now that’s acting!). Filmed totally in Vancouver.

A CENTURY OF LESS SHUT-EYE:
Stats from the National Center for Health Statistics show the average night’s sleep in 1905 lasted 9 hours, while these days we average just 7 hours in the sack. (7 whole hours! These people have never done morning radio.)
– “Science”

GRASPING POLITICIANS:
Although most Americans favor the ‘All-American Handshake’ (palm-to-palm, firm grip, 2 or 3 pumps, eye contact), Robert Brown, co-author of the new book “The Power of Handshaking”, says the ‘2-Handed Clasp’ is gaining popularity. Brown advises we should be wary – although clergy like the new style, it’s also becoming popular with politicians and car salesmen. “The recipient feels captured”, Brown says. “It signals ‘I’ve got you and you can’t get away’.”
– “Orlando Sentinel“

DON’T SKIP THE SKIPPY:
A new study conducted by scientists at the University of Florida suggests that peanuts, long considered high in fat and best avoided, can rival fruit as a healthy snack. Researchers have found that peanuts are right up there with strawberries when it comes to antioxidant content. Antioxidants protect key cell components by neutralizing the damaging effects of ‘free radicals’. (Is that like Michael Moore?)
– “Daily Mail”

WARM WARNING:
A study by the Flinders Institute for Atmospheric & Marine Sciences in Adelaide, Australia says the Northern Hemisphere is warmer on weekdays than weekends because of industry and commuting. The average temperature difference is about – one-thirtieth of a degree Fahrenheit.  (Geez, turn the furnace down!)
– “Herald Tribune”

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• It takes about 10 billion snowflakes to make a snowman.
• Sake is no longer a popular choice for today’s Japanese; it’s considered ‘an old man’s drink’.
• The International Organization for Migration estimates there are more than 30,000 eligible voters in Canada for SUNDAY’s election in Iraq.

THE BULL SHEET 01.28.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1936 [69] Alan Alda (Alphonso D’Abruzzo), NYC, TV actor (‘Senator Arnold Vinick’ on “The West Wing”, 3 Emmy Awards as ‘Hawkeye Pierce’ on “M*A*S*H” 1972-83)

1968 [37] Sarah McLachlan, Halifax NS, pop singer (“World On Fire”, 2003 Grammy-“Fallen”)

1969 [36] Kathryn Morris, Cincinnati OH, TV actress (‘Lilly Rush’ on “Cold Case” since 2003)

1977 [28] Joey Fatone, Brooklyn NY, washed-up pop singer (‘N Sync-“Pop”)

1980 [25] Nick Carter, Jamestown NY, has-been pop singer (Backstreet Boys-“As Long As You Love Me”)/brother of teen singer Aaron Carter/Paris Hilton’s former boy-toy

1981 [24] Elijah Wood, Cedar Rapids IA, bug-eyed movie actor (‘Frodo Baggins’ in “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy) whose head is about 5 times too large for his body

1985 [20] Athina Onassis Roussel, Paris FRA, wealthy heiress (daughter of Christina & Thierry Roussel) who at 21 will become chairman of the multi-billion-dollar Onassis Foundation

SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
Former TV actor Tom Selleck (“Magnum PI”) is 60; Talk-show host Oprah Winfrey is 51; Movie actress Heather Graham (“Austin Powers”) is 35.

SUNDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
Movie actor Gene Hackman (“Unforgiven”) is 75; Movie actress Vanessa Redgrave (“Julia”) is 68; US VP Dick Cheney is 64; Pop singer Phil Collins (“Don’t Let Him Steal Your Heart Away”) is 54; Country singer Tammy Cochran (“Angels in Waiting”) is 33; Movie actor Christian Bale (the next “Batman”) is 31; TV actor Wilmer Valderrama (“That ’70s Show”) is 25.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY-February 6th is the 42nd annual “Ontario Winter Carnival Bon Soo” in Sault Ste Marie ON, featuring over 125 events and known as the ‘Greatest Snow on Earth!’.
PHONER: 866.899.1670/705.759.3000 (Sault Ste Marie Chamber of Commerce)
NET: http://www.bonsoo.on.ca/index.shtml

TODAY is also –
• “Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day”, celebrating the padding we all like to pop.
• “International Make Your Point Day.” So what is the gist of what you’re trying to say, anyway?
• “Fun At Work Day”, because experts say when we enjoy our work, we are more productive.
• “Kazoo Day”, honoring the musical instrument even the most untalented can play.
• “School Nurse Day”, to honor those dedicated professionals who write handy excuse notes.
• “Clash Day”, when you’re encouraged to wear your gaudiest outfit to relieve winter blahs.
• “Swap a Brown Bag Lunch Day”, to add some excitement to your noon hour.

SATURDAY is –
• “Free Thinker’s Day”, celebrating the fact that everyone has the right to agree with you.
• “Corn Chip Day.” Ask listeners to put 10 of them in their mouths and whistle a tune!
• “National Puzzle Day”, celebrating one of our favorite pastimes.

SUNDAY is –
• Iraqi Election Day, seen as a major step toward building democracy.
• “World Law Day”, established in 1922 to celebrate the rules society lives by.
• “Inane Answering Message Day”, to change, shorten, or delete annoying voicemail messages.
• “Croissant Day.” That’s ‘cwah-SAHN’, NOT ‘croy-sents’.
• “Yodel for Your Neighbors Day.” Followed by ‘Getting Tomato-ed by Your Neighbors Day’.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1985 [20] 45 top recording artists attend an all-night recording session in LA to produce the charity record “We Are the World” in aid of African famine relief (among those participating –  Lionel Richie, Michael Jackson, Cyndi Lauper, Kenny Rogers, Dolly Parton, Sting, Diana Ross, Paul Simon & many others)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1934 [71] 1st ‘Rope Tow’ for skiing opens in Woodstock VT (before that, a helluva lot of uphill walking!)

1999 [06] 1st ‘Live Sex Change Operation’ performed on the Internet (was it a download or an upload?)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1984 [21] Glynn Wolfe weds for a non-bigamous record 26th time, in Las Vegas

AND REMEMBER . . .
[1 week today] Midpoint of Winter
[Mon] Michael Jackson trial scheduled to begin
[Wed] Groundhog Day
[Sunday, Feb 6] Super Bowl
This Week Is . . . Cross Country Skiing Week
This Month Is . . . Retail Bakers Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS REJECTED SLOGANS FOR BEER:

“Beer: Getting Coeds Knocked Up for 300 Years!”
“Goes Down Cold, Comes Up Smooth!”
“A Decent Excuse for Your Normal Clumsy Self!”
“Because You’re Sober!”
“Numbing the Embarrassment of Being You!”
“Easier to Spell Than Whiskey!”
“The ‘Other’ Thin Yellowish Liquid”
“Beer: It’s How You Got Here!”

BS Q & A:
Q: Where are you most likely to suffer a fatal injury – at home or at work?
A: According to the National Safety Council, more than 5 times as many fatalities occur in the home as in the workplace.

Q: 43 years ago today (1962) in Rhodesia, Johanne Relleke received 2,443 of these and  managed to survive to tell about it.
A: Bee stings.

BS JOB APPROPRIATE NAMES:
Bea Quiet – teacher
Carrie Dover – accountant
Chip Sahoy – cookie maker
Herr Kutts – barber
Len Scrafter- optometrist
Jerry  Atricks – doctor
Mae Dupp – cosmetologist
Moe D Yard – landscaper
Neil Down – carpet installer
Phil Inn – swing shift on-air personality
Stan Dupp – comedian
(Ask listeners to contribute more!)

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• Which was the best animated film of the past year – “Shrek 2″, “SpongeBob SquarePants”, “Shark Tale” or “The Incredibles”?
• Is the plan by Correctional Services Canada to offer prison inmates cheap 5-buck tattoos to stop the spread of HIV and hepatitis C a good idea or a total waste of money?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Millions of THESE are made every week but 94% of them are never used.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Coupons.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Observe moderation in all things … including moderation.

Monthly Planning Calendar in Monday’s “BS”!


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