Tuesday, January 25, 2005        Edition: #2955
If the Sheet Fits, Buy It!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
THIS MORNING nominations for the “77th Academy Awards” will be announced at 5.30 am PST (Internet oddsmaker BetWWTS.com has already made “The Aviator” favorite to win ‘Best Picture’, followed by “Sideways” and “Million Dollar Baby”) . . . Pseudo-actress Carmen Electra is telling anyone who’ll listen she & rocker hubby Dave Navarro are ready to procreate (picture that baby girl – 38DD and a really bad goatee!) . . . British royal Sarah Ferguson has sold the rights to her first adult book, an historical novel entitled “Hart Moor”, for $1.9 million – and she hasn’t written a word of it yet! (ah, the advantages of fame) . . . “Survivor” producer Mark Burnett says Canada is still a likely location for a future season of the show, likely somewhere in the mountains of BC in the middle of winter (where day-to-day existence is a real challenge – Whistler, perhaps) . . . Worried they might suffer another break-in, Ozzy & Sharon Osbourne are looking to hire a ‘permanent house-sitter’ for their Buckinghamshire mansion in Britain (now there’s a cushy job!) . . . The 5 stars of “Desperate Housewives” are threatening a revolt over their small salaries which reportedly range from just $47,000 to $76,000 per episode (and about $47,000 to $76,000 more than any of them was making a year ago) . . . Longtime “Trading Spaces” host Paige Davis has been fired as TLC has announced it’s taking the show in a ‘new creative direction’ (translation: we’re gonna save bucks by not having a host) . . . P Diddy is in negotiations to buy 4 of UK composer Andrew Lloyd Webber’s theaters in London’s West End – the Apollo, the Garrick, the Duchess & the Lyric (where does he keep finding all the bucks?) . . . Word has it Paris Hilton has been meeting with financial advisors about opening a chain of retail stores that would feature Paris Hilton products – Paris handbags, Paris perfume and perhaps, a Paris clothing line (she’d do far better opening a video store).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beyoncé – She’s set to star in a movie version of the Broadway musical “Dreamgirls”. Filming is expected to start THIS SUMMER.
• Christina Aguilera – Her boyfriend Jason Bratman has been shopping for ‘the right ring’ for weeks and friends say it’s only a matter of time before they’ll announce their engagement.
• Counting Crows – Adam Duritz has been spotted getting friendly with actress Mary-Louise Parker, who recently had a baby via ex-boyfriend Billy Crudup. Duritz formerly dated Courtney Cox and Mandy Moore.
• Green Day – TONIGHT they’re on “Late Show With David Letterman”.
• Keith Anderson – The Miami, Oklahoma native used to be quite the athlete, selected for the all-state football team, placing 2nd in the ‘Mr Oklahoma’ bodybuilding competition, and playing for the OSU baseball team.
• Kenny Chesney – TODAY he releases his new studio album “Be As You Are: Songs From An Old Blue Chair”. Ironically, “Somewhere in the Sun” is the only track on the CD that was NOT written in the Caribbean.
• Trick Pony – Their next single will be a remake of the Bonnie Tyler hit “It’s A Heartache”.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “AVP: Alien vs Predator” (Thriller – DVD): The iconic monsters from 2 scary film franchises battle each other after a team of scientists discovers them in an ancient pyramid buried under the Antarctic ice. Stars Sanaa Lathan, Raoul Bova & Lance Henriksen.
• “Sky Captain & the World of Tomorrow” (Sci-Fi – DVD): Features big-names Gwyneth Paltrow, Jude Law & Angelina Jolie but state-of-the-art special effects are the real star. The unprecedented technique uses live action filmed against blue-screen, with backgrounds filled in digitally. The 1930s-era story involves adventurers trying to stop an evil mastermind from destroying the world.
• “First Daughter” (Comedy – DVD/VHS): Katie Holmes plays the daughter of a US President (Michael Keaton) who tries to escape her Secret Service leash and ends up falling for a young agent who has gone undercover as a student. Almost the exact same plot as “Chasing Liberty” starring Mandy Moore, released earlier in 2004.

REAL DESIGNER JEANS:
The world of fashion is set to go hi-tech with the introduction of ‘Bodymetrics’, a state-of-the-art body-mapping system that, in theory, should allow designers to create perfect-fitting clothes. Suran Goonatilake, who created the technology, says his machine calculates the perfect measurements by scanning a body and using numerous data points to calculate the exact measurement of the person. British designer Tristan Webber is one of the first to use the new technology, releasing a new line of ‘Digital Couture’ jeans. They are said to be so tailored to the wearer’s body shape that they even feature the owner’s name and scan date on the label. (And they’re such a great value at just $182,000 … per leg.)
– “Independent Magazine”/CNN

OSCAR-LESS ACTORS WHO SHOULDN’T BE:
The Oscar noms are out TODAY, a good excuse to review some of the most deserving actors who’ve never won an Academy Award. Among men, Samuel L Jackson, Steve McQueen, Richard Burton, Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt are notable. The most deserving actresses who’ve never won might arguably include Demi Moore, Sharon Stone, Meg Ryan, Marilyn Monroe and Michelle Pfeiffer. (Who would you add … or delete?)
– Ananova

WHY WOMEN CAN’T READ MAPS:
A new University of New Mexico study finds that men typically use 6.5 times as much of the brain’s grey matter as women, but women use 9 times as much white matter. Grey matter is brain tissue crucial to processing information and plays a vital role in math, map-reading and intellectual thought. White matter, on the other hand, is central to emotional thinking, use of language and the ability to do more than one thing at once. (Coming soon, a study on why man can’t do laundry.)
– “Daily Telegraph”

WORLD CITIES WITH THE BIGGEST DAMAGE POTENTIAL:
Munich Re, the world’s largest reinsurer, has ranked world cities based on the economic impact a natural disaster would have. The top 5 …
1. Tokyo, Japan
2. San Francisco CA
3. Los Angeles CA
4. Osaka-Kobe-Kyoto, Japan
5. Miami FL
Tokyo’s risk is rated highest due to its huge population and high risk of earthquakes, along with lower-level risk of storm damage, volcanic eruption, and tsunamis.
– “Bloomberg News”

BS AMAZING FACT:
According to Dallas-based CI Host, a Web-hosting and data center, the 4 most common choices for a computer password are – ‘love’, ‘sex’, ‘money’ and ‘password’.
– “Albany Times-Union”

AND WE QUOTE:
“I test out friends sometimes. I’ll say something that’s totally not even true, ’cause I think that they’re calling ‘Page Six’. I’ll say something like. ‘I was in Paris last week.’ And if that story appears, I just freeze ‘em out. I’ll never talk to them.”  – Paris Hilton telling “Jane” magazine about the extreme penalty suffered by those who are disloyal to her.

THE BULL SHEET 01.25.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1966 [39] Mike Burch, country musician (River Road-“Nickajack”)

1981 [24] Alicia Keys (Cook), NYC, pop/R&B singer (“Karma”, w/Usher-“My Boo”, “Fallin’”) who’s won 5 Grammy Awards (and is nominated for 8 THIS YEAR)

2001 [04] Rene Charles Angelil, West Palm Beach FL, rich boy who’ll never work a day in his life/son of singer Celine Dion & husband-manager Rene Angelil

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is the 5th annual “International Internet-Free Day”,  in recognition of our need for contacts out in the real world. The idea is, for one day, to set aside time for a ‘real’ chat, write some ‘real’ mail, look things up in a ‘real’ book, etc. Who would have thought this would be a problem 10 years ago? What would you miss most about not going online for a day?

TODAY is “Robbie Burns Day”, party time for Scots everywhere! It honors Scotland’s national poet who was born January 25, 1759 and whose most famous composition was “Auld Lang Syne”. A traditional ‘Burns Supper’ includes cock-a-leekie soup (fowl, leeks and herbs), haggis (minced sheep’s heart, lungs and liver mixed with oatmeal), neeps and tatties (mashed turnip and potatoes). The meal is then washed down with Scotch whisky toasts.

TODAY is “Opposite Day”, a day to do everything backwards (ie: eat left-handed) as a fun way to get out of your tedious, day-in, day-out, lackluster, humdrum, milquetoast, run-of-the-mill rut.

TONIGHT is the “Full Moon” of January variously known as the “Nursing Moon”, “Milk Moon”, or “Wolf Moon” (owoooooooo!!!).

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1949 [56] 1st ‘Emmy Awards’ for TV (the ‘Emmy’ statuette of a winged woman holding an atom was designed by television engineer Louis McManus who used his wife as a model and originally called it the ‘Immy’, for the ‘Image Orthicon’, a television camera tube)

1994 [11] Michael Jackson settles child abuse civil suit for a reported $10 million (or at least he thinks he did)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1858 [147] Mendelssohn’s “Wedding March” 1st played at wedding of Queen Victoria’s daughter (“Here comes the bride, short fat and wide …”)
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1924 [81] 1st ‘Winter Olympic Games’ open in Chamonix, France (after IOC officials are bribed with bathtub gin and horseless carriages)

1981 [24] In their 1st (and only) Super Bowl appearance, the Philadelphia Eagles lose to the Oakland Raiders 27-10 in Super Bowl XV

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Australia Day
[Thurs] Thomas Crapper Day
[Fri] Kazoo Day
[Sun] Election Day in Iraq
[Mon] Michael Jackson trial scheduled to begin
This Week Is . . . Canadian Skiing & Snowboarding Week
This Month Is . . . Crime Stoppers Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS ‘SCOTS OR NOT?’

A mirthful way to celebrate “Robbie Burns Day”. Which of the following celebs were born in Scotland?
• “Star Wars” actor Ewan McGregor. (Aye, he’s a Scot. Born in Crieff in 1971.)
• Classic rocker Rod Stewart. (Och, he’s not! Born in the Highgate area of London.)
• Telephone inventor Alexander Graham Bell. (Scot, born in Edinburgh in 1847.)
• Author JK Rowling (Not. English-born but “Harry Potter” was written in Edinburgh, now her adopted home.)
• Canada’s first PM Sir John A McDonald. (Scot, born in Glasgow in 1815.)
• Brewer Alexander Keith. (Aye, born in Scotland, but came to Halifax at the age of 22 where he started his brewery in 1820.)
• Comedian & former “Whose Line Is It?” star Colin Mochrie. (Scot, born in Kilmarnock and moved to Canada at age 7.)
• Singer Annie Lennox. (Scot. From the granite city of Aberdeen.)
• Designer Tommy Hilfiger. (Not, but claims direct descent from Robert Burns on his mother’s side.)
• Movie actor Sean Connery. (Scot, born in Edinburgh in 1930.)
• Movie actor Liam Neeson. (Not. He might have played famed Scot “Rob Roy” but he’s Irish.)
• British Prime Minister Tony Blair. (Scot. Born and schooled in Edinburgh.)
• Sandy McTire, the guy pictured on Canadian Tire money. (He’s not real, silly! He was ‘born’ in 1958 as an idea to sell more gasoline by Muriel Billes, wife of Canadian Tire founder AJ Billes.)
• Singer John Mayer. (Not. Born in Bridgeport CT.)
• “Tonight Show” host Jay Leno. (Not, but his mother was Scottish.)
• Inventor Thomas Alva Edison. (Not. Of Scottish descent but born in Milan OH.)
• Paul McCartney of The Beatles. (Not. Born in Liverpool, of course.)

BS Q & A:
Q: This tune, which virtually anyone can hum, was first performed at the wedding of Queen Victoria’s daughter 147 years ago TODAY (1858). What is it?
A: Mendelssohn’s “Wedding March”. (“Here comes the bride, fat short & wide …”)

BS PHONE STARTER:
Which so-called ‘service personnel’ do the lousiest job of offering service? (In a nationwide poll, ‘supermarket check-out clerks’ topped the list, followed by ‘airline check-in people’ and ‘flight attendants’. But how about civil ‘servants’, especially at the license bureau? Or anyone you talk to on a ‘customer service’ phone line?)

BS BLATANT JOKE:
I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: According to a poll of pet owners, THIS is the most common name for goldfish.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: ‘Jaws’.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It hurts to be on the cutting edge.


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