Tuesday, January 4, 2005        Edition: #2940
Don’t Take Any Sheet … Unless It’s BS!

The management of Millennium Stadium in Cardiff, Wales is working to stage a ‘Live Aid’-style fund-raising concert JANUARY 22nd for the victims of the Asian tsunami and have invited the likes of U2, Coldplay, The Darkness and Franz Ferdinand to perform . . . 29-year-old “Desperate Housewives” star Eva Longoria doesn’t appear to be taking her romance with pop singer JC Chasez too seriously, telling “In Touch” magazine she’s ‘officially on the market’ because being with the same person your entire life ‘sounds drab’ . . . TV talk show host and PETA member Bill Maher has written an open letter to New Mexico governor Bill Richardson imploring him to put a stop to the practice of cockfighting, which is apparently still legal in the state . . . According to “Grand” magazine’s FEBRUARY issue, Harrison Ford is the ‘Sexiest Celebrity Grandparent’, ahead of Goldie Hawn, Paul McCartney, Naomi Judd, Mick Jagger, Priscilla Presley, Steven Tyler, Tina Turner, Pierce Brosnan, and Sally Field.

• Alicia Keys – TONIGHT she’s on “Late Show With David Letterman”.
• Gwen Stefani & Ashlee Simpson – They appear in TONIGHT’S halftime show at the “Orange Bowl 2005 National Championship” (Oklahoma vs USC on ABC-TV) with the help of 3,000 dancers.
• Jennifer Lopez – She’s so tired of her ‘J-Lo’ nickname, she almost titled her upcoming album “Call Me Jennifer” … but settled on “Rebirth”.
• Michael Jackson – His ex-wife/baby carrier Debbie Rowe is planning to sell her 2.13-carat diamond wedding ring on eBay later THIS MONTH, about the same time as his trial is set to begin.
• Sheryl Crow – After sitting out much of 2004, she has 2 albums ready to go for 2005: an ‘art record’ first and then a pop record in the fall.

• “Troy” (War Epic – DVD): Brad Pitt is ‘Achilles’, Eric Bana is ‘Hector’ and Orlando Bloom is ‘Paris’ in Wolfgang Petersen’s retelling of the Trojan War tale. Ironically, Pitt tore his left Achilles tendon in a mishap during production. Inspired by “The Iliad”, the epic work attributed to the ancient poet Homer. The ‘Trojan Horse’ made for the movie was later given as a gift to Turkey and is now on display in Canakkale, the present-day Troy.
• “Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle” (Buddy Comedy – DVD): John Cho (“American Pie”) plays a timid Asian-American white collar cubicle slave and Kal Penn (“Van Wilder”) plays his roommate, an unemployed Indian-American college grad. Together they face a range of wild and crazy experiences while making a late-night hamburger run.
• “Little Black Book” (Comedy – DVD):  Brittany Murphy plays a trash-talk TV show producer who hacks into her boyfriend’s Palm Pilot electronic organizer in order to track down his old girlfriends. Ron Livingston, Kathy Bates and Holly Hunter co-star.
• “Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2″ (Family Comedy Sequel – DVD/VHS): A group of smart-talking toddlers find themselves at the center of a media mogul’s experiment to crack the code to baby talk. The toddlers must race against time for the sake of babies everywhere.

Screen errors Website MovieMistakes.com has named its top movie continuity goofs of 2004. Among them …
• “Spider-Man 2″ – Spider-Man’s mask gets blackened during the train scene but somehow mysteriously becomes clean in a shot soon after.
• “Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban” – The room containing the ‘Monster Book of Monsters’ seems to change proportions in order to accommodate the action.
• “Kill Bill – Volume 2″ – A sandwich seems to have multiplying crusts as they disappear then reappear.
• “The Bourne Supremacy” – A car damaged in one of the many chases scenes seems to heal itself and return to normal in a later shot.
• “Troy” – In one scene, the sun rises in the west.
NET: http://www.moviemistakes.com

Each week the BBC’s “Magazine” uncovers ‘10 Things We Didn’t Know This Time Last Week’.  Here’s a sampling of the unusual things it uncovered in the past year …
• Brussels sprouts have 3 times as much vitamin C as oranges.
• 52% of households now have 5 or more remote controls.
• Brazilians are the nationality most likely to read spam.
• Osama Bin Laden refers to 9/11 as ‘Manhattan’.
• The word ‘sex’, used to mean sexual intercourse, was first used in 1929.
• Plastic surgery dates back to 600 BC and the first nose job was in 1000 AD.
• Reports of UFOs have dwindled to almost zero since the late 1990s.
• While he was US President, Bill Clinton sent just 2 e-mails.
– BBC News Online

A new night club opening in NYC’s West Village NEXT MONTH will be built around a ’90s theme. ‘Nerveana’ will feature kitschy paraphernalia from the last decade, plus cocktails named for icons of the era including the ‘The Ricky Martini’, ‘The John Wayne Bobbitt’ and ‘The Monica’. (Is that one served UNDER the table?)
– “NY Daily News”

British futurist Ian Pearson predicts that before long there will be no need for cell phones, PDAs, laptops or MP3 players. Instead, we’ll incorporate such devices in jewelry or in circuits printed right onto the skin as paper-thin 2-by-4 inch screens. Within 5 to 10 years, he says, nanotechnology will enable us to have built-in body gadgets such as a device that transmits insulin readings to a doctor. He also predicts we’ll be able to directly access our nervous systems, recording and downloading every sensation from a kiss … to an orgasm.
– “Times of London”

Each JANUARY, linguists at Lake Superior State University in Sault Ste Marie MI release a list of of words and expressions that need to be banned due to overexposure. On this year’s 30th annual list …
• Red State and/or Blue State
• You’re Fired!
• Wardrobe Malfunction
• Blog
• Flip-flop
• Carbs
• Erectile Dysfunction
– “USA Today
NET: http://www.lssu.edu (“LSSU issues its 30th annual list of banished words”)

International coatings and chemicals company Akzo Nobel has developed a unique temporary paint system which can peeled off after use. Known as ‘Maskin’, the product can be applied to any non-porous surface, such as a vehicle body or windows, without risk of damage to the original finish. ‘Maskin’ (a combination of the words ‘mask’ and ‘skin’) is available in 8 basic colors, plus one transparent film, and can be mixed to create a wide spectrum of shades. When no longer required, the film can be peeled and disposed of using standard paint waste removal methods. (For more info, see ‘James Bond’.)
– Slashdot

A study of over 4,100 Japanese centenarians has found the following to be their top tips for living to age 100 or more …
• Eat lots of protein.
• Keep calories down.
• Get enough sleep.
• Live in an area with excellent medical facilities.
– Healthscout

What’s the most important invention of the past 50 years? A new online poll of close to 120,000 people is topped by …
1. Silicon Chip
2. World Wide Web
3. Personal Computer

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

“They could have made a movie about a New York lawyer who was an anti-Semitic terrorist pedophile, and I still couldn’t do anything about it.”
– A 49-year-old NYC lawyer who’s a real-life ‘Steve Zissou’, saying he was less-than-thrilled when he found out his name was being used in the movie “The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou”. He did, however, receive an undisclosed payment to relieve the aggravation.


1957 [48] Patty Loveless (Patricia Lee Ramey), Pikeville KY, country singer (“Chains”, “Here I Am”)

1960 [45] Michael Stipe, Decatur GA, rock singer/songwriter (REM-“Imitation Of Life”, “Losing My Religion”)

1962 [43] Dave Foley, Toronto ON, movie actor (“South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut”)/former TV actor (“Newsradio” 1995-99, “Kids in the Hall” 1989-94)

1966 [39] Deana Carter, Nashville TN, country singer (“Did I Shave My Legs For This?”, “Strawberry Wine”)  FACTOID: She’s named after late singer/actor Dean Martin.

[USA] “Elizabeth Ann Seton Feast Day” (the first American-born saint)

TODAY is “Trivia Day” in celebration of those with ‘doctorates in uselessology’. For a switch, try playing ‘Stump the Goof’, where listeners call in questions for YOU to answer.

THIS WEEK is “National Karaoke Week”. (‘Karaoke’ is a Japanese word for ‘drunken loser’.)

1999 [05] Minnesota inaugurates former pro wrestler Jesse Ventura as its 38th governor, the only ‘Reform Party’ candidate to ever win a statewide office

1991 [14] 1st recording artist to release 7 singles from 1 album (Janet Jackson-“Rhythm Nation 1814″)

1885 [120] 1st ‘appendectomy’ (Dr William Grant on a 22-year-old woman in Davenport IA)

1910 [95] 1st ‘blender’ is invented (next day, 1st pina colada is invented)

1961 [44] Danish barbers’ assistants end longest-ever recorded strike – 33 years!

1986 [19] 1st NHLer with 100 points in 7 consecutive seasons (Wayne Gretzky-Edmonton Oilers)

1966 [39] 17-year-old June Clark of Miami FL begins 155-day sneezing fit

[Thurs] National Smith Day
[Fri] Show & Tell Day at Work
[Fri] Organize Your Home Day
[Sat] Eat Something Raw Day
[Sun] 31st People’s Choice Awards
This Week Is . . . Celebration of Life Week
This Month Is . . . It’s OK to be Different Month

• “I’ll get a world record for this!”
• “Let me just reach in and get your watch out of the printing press.”
• “Gee, that’s a cute tattoo.”
• “It’s fireproof.”
• “What does this button do?”
• “I’m making a citizen’s arrest!”
• “So you’re a cannibal, eh?”
• “Are you sure the power’s off?”

• Boot Camp For New Dads, formed in 1990 to help new fathers ‘hit the ground crawling’, is a support network for men confronting the realities of fatherhood. Over 120,000 fathers in more than 200 communities have participated in the program which teaches everything from diapering to the pros and cons of circumcision.
PHONER: 714.838.9392 (Bootcamp For New Dads, Irvine CA)
NET: http://www.bcnd.org/public
• Sara Baker is the ‘Recovery Concierge’ at Loews New Orleans Hotel. The hotel’s hangover program is spelled out in a booklet in every room and is designed for guests who overindulge in the city’s many excesses. So how can you survive the upcoming Mardi Gras and still have fun?
PHONER: 504.595.3300 (Loews New Orleans Hotel)

BS Q & A:
Q: Hey, how’s come we no longer get vaccinated on the butt?
A: It’s now a less common practice because most people’s buns are too well padded with fat. Doctors now target the leaner upper arm or thigh.
–  “British Medical Journal”

We are the people our parents warned us about.

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