Tuesday, January 6, 2009        Edition: #3931
Sweet Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Celebrity astrologist Susan Miller is predicting a split between Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony in 2009 (likely around February 9th) but claims actress Jennifer Aniston is set to begin a ‘decade-long cycle that will bring enormous happiness in just about every part of life’ (well, she’s does have a hit movie – for a change) . . . The year-end SoundScan report shows that, despite the music biz continuously crying that the sky is falling, music sales set a new record in ‘08, increasing by more than 10% to over 1.5 billion units (while CD sales dropped by 8.5%, digital album sales soared by 32%) . . . Movie actor & wannabe musician Jack Black (“Kung Fu Panda”) may have been schooled in rock, but now he says he’d like to sing at the Grand Ole Opry with wife Tanya Haden’s family, who recently turned him on to bluegrass music (no please – we’re crying uncle!) . . . In a PR stunt costing multiple-millions, some 150 million pairs of 3-D glasses are being given away at retailers so that TV viewers can watch a 90-second trailer of Dreamworks’ upcoming animated movie “Monsters vs Aliens” during the “Super Bowl” on February 1 (beware the combined effects of beer and 3-D!) . . . Actor Tom Cruise tells Spanish newspaper “ABC” that Scientology helped him overcome dyslexia, claiming he was functionally illiterate until he followed the teachings of L Ron Hubbard (it also healed his dandruff problem!) . . . And a new report claims that Cruise’s 30-year-old actress-wife Katie Holmes has spent somewhere in the neighborhood of $15 million since moving to NYC 6 months ago to appear in the Broadway play “All My Sons”, most of it going to the purchase of 3 apartments in the block where she’s been staying, but also wads to childcare, clothing, and socializing (no wonder the “New York Post” has dubbed her ‘Manhattan’s Most Valued Shopper’ during the credit crunch).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Classic rockers Foreigner are on.
• “Homeland Security USA” (ABC) – In the debut of this documentary-style reality show, a young woman arrives in America with no paperwork but with a suitcase full of surprises.
• “Scrubs” (ABC) – The long-running comedy gets a new network and a new ‘Chief of Medicine’ … Courteney Cox Arquette. She appears in the 1st of at least 3 episodes as ‘Dr Maddox’.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Pussycat Dolls perform.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Amy Winehouse – She’s reportedly in negotiations with British fashion label Fred Perry to design a clothing collection. (Um, have these people ever checked out her wardrobe?)
• Guns N’ Roses – Frontman Axl Rose has hinted that a follow up to the long-awaited (and overinflated) album “Chinese Democracy” could be in the cards. (Expect it around 2022.)
• Keith Urban – A 100-unit motel is being developed near the $6.5-million Australian country estate he & wife Nicole Kidman recently purchased in the remote town of Sutton Forest. Currently, there are only 2 shops & a pub in the town. (But soon, the ‘Paparazzi Inn’.)

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Babylon AD“ ( Action Adventure ): Vin Diesel plays a mercenary who takes a high-risk assignment in which he must escort a woman out of Russia. The further complication is that his client is carrying a synthetic virus which could bring about the end of humanity.
• “Bangkok Dangerous” ( Crime Thriller ): Nicolas Cage plays a hitman who’s in the Thai capital to pull off a series of jobs. In the original Hong Kong film, the assassin was a deaf-mute but we’re thinkin’ Cage would have trouble pulling that off. Comes in a ‘2-Disc Special Edition’.
• “Disaster Movie” ( Comedy ): A spoof film from the makers of “Date Movie” in which a group of 20-somethings find themselves bombarded by a series of catastrophic events in the course of a single evening. Features Carmen Electra and Kim Kardashian … wrestling.
• “Pineapple Express” ( Comedy ): Seth Rogen (“Knocked Up”) & James Franco (“Spider-Man 3”) play a stoner & his dealer who hit the road trying to outrun a gang of corrupt cops. Available in a ‘2-Disc Unrated Edition’.
• “Righteous Kill” ( Crime Drama ): Al Pacino & Robert De Niro share screentime as policemen closing in on a serial murderer. Supporting cast includes 50 Cent, Carla Gugino, John Leguizamo, Donnie Wahlberg, and Brian Dennehy.
• Also released today: “Barney: Be My Valentine” (animation); “Duckman: The Complete Series” (animation); “IMAX Ultimate Collection” (documentary); “Mannix: The 2nd Season” (vintage TV); “The Tudors: The Complete 2nd Season” (TV); and “The Waltons: The Complete 8th Season” (vintage TV).

THE PAMPERED POOCHES OF PARIS:
Pastry chef Hat (Harriet) Sternstein has opened an exclusive bakery in Paris … for dogs. Mon Bon Chien sells things like cat-shaped bacon biscuits and bone-shaped cookies flavored with foie gras. Sternstein says at first Parisians who come in find it funny and buy the treats they think are cutest. But the next time, it’s the dogs who choose. (‘Old Balled-Up Sock & Gravy’.)
NET: http://www.mon-bon-chien-paris.com
– AP

BEST EXCUSE TO DRINK:
Science has discovered yet another reason to have a few drinks now and then. UK researchers studying the effects of lifestyle on sperm count have found that men who drink alcohol regularly have better quality semen than non-drinkers. (Now as to ‘performance’ …)
– ScienceAGoGo.com

WIKIPEDIA TO STAY FREE:
Wikipedia, that indispensable (if not always reliable) online resource, will continue to be free to use after raising close to $6 million in donations. The non-profit site’s founder, Jimmy Wales, posted an appeal for support in late December in order to avoid having to raise money from advertising or subscriptions. The new-found cash will go toward upgrading the software, servers and bandwidth that accommodate the site’s huge traffic. Launched in 2001, Wikipedia consistently ranks in the top 10 most-visited online sites. (When it comes to accuracy … you get what you pay for.)
– “The Telegraph”

QUEEN OF THE ROAD:
“Pollstar” magazine’s ranking of the top-earning tours of ‘08 based on worldwide ticket sales …
1. Madonna … $281.6 million.
2. Céline Dion … $236.6 million.
3. Bon Jovi … $176.3 million.
4. Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band … $165.8 million.
5. The Police … $120.6 million.
– “Los Angeles Times”

WORLD’S MOST EXCITING SPORT?
Scientists claim to have proven that the most exciting game there is … soccer. Researchers at Los Alamos National Laboratory in New Mexico have found that although football, basketball and baseball are watched by millions, none match the excitement of soccer due to the element of surprise. After analyzing results from more than 300,000 games played over the past century, the researchers determined that the ‘upset frequency’ is highest in soccer, followed by baseball, hockey, basketball, and football. (Those 0-0 World Cup games are real heart-stoppers, right?)
– Reuters

THE RISKS OF ‘FETCH’:
Dan Brockman, a professor at Britain’s Royal Veterinary College, is warning that dogs often suffer injuries due to the dangers of … chasing a stick. In fact, he says in order to protect pets from accidental stabbing or choking, owners should never throw sticks but instead use rubber toys. Brockman has catalogued dozens of injuries resulting from animals being stabbed while running after sharp sticks. He also warns about pets chasing balls, noting he’s often operated on dogs that have swallowed tennis balls. The secret is to only throw balls of appropriate size. (And never ‘shake a paw’ … it can lead to serious sprains.)
– “Times of London”

DID YOU KNOW?
• An atomic clock is accurate to within 1 second in 1.7 million years. (So [co-host] , you were actually 34 minutes and 1.59364 seconds late for work this morning …)
• The annual world average for egg consumption per capita is 230. (If we all turned vegan, what would do with all the freakin’ eggs?)
• New Zealand is home to about 4.3 million people and a little over 40 million sheep. (That works out to about 10 each … not baaaaaad odds.)
– DidYouKnow.org

BS CHRONOMETER 01.06.09

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1953 [56] Malcolm Young, Glasgow, Scotland, rock guitarist (AC/DC-“Rock ‘n Roll Train”, “Hard As a Rock”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2003)

1955 [54] Rowan Atkinson, Consett UK, movie actor (“Four Weddings & a Funeral”)/TV comic (“Mr Bean”, “Blackadder”)

1960 [49] Howie Long, Charlestown MA, TV football analyst (“FOX NFL Sunday”)/former NFL DE (Raiders 1981-93)/Pro Football Hall of Fame (2000)

1968 [41] John Singleton, LA CA, movie producer/director/screenwriter (“Four Brothers”, “2 Fast 2 Furious”)

1978 [30] Tara Spencer-Nairn, Montréal QC, TV actress (‘Officer Karen Pelly’ on “Corner Gas” 2004-08)

1975 [34] James Farrior, Petersburg VA, NFL middle linebacker (Pittsburgh Steelers)

1981 [28] Asante Samuel, Fort Lauderdale FL, NFL cornerback (Philadelphia Eagles)/2 Super Bowls (New England Patriots)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Armenian Christmas”. What a deal … they get to shop for gifts during January sales!

• ”Cuddle Up Day”, an opportunity to snuggle up to someone or something on a cold winter’s day.

• “Epiphany” (aka “Three Kings Day”), a Christian celebration and public holiday in Spain, Italy, Sweden, and Puerto Rico. In Ireland it’s known as “Little Christmas”. In Italy during “Epiphany Festival”, the kindly witch ‘La Befana’ slides down chimneys on her broom to bring toys and goodies for kids. In Mexico, where it’s known as “Dia de los Santos Reyes”, kids put straw out and leave shoes on balconies to be filled with toys by ‘Los Tres Reyes’ (The Three Kings) who bring gifts riding camel-back.

• “Maroon Festival” in Jamaica, a tradition since 1738 that pays tribute to the ancestors of the Maroons, descendants of slaves who were freed by the Spanish and fled to Jamaica’s untouched South Coast in pursuit of freedom, and who live there to this day.

• “Smith Day”, celebrating the most-common surname in the English-speaking world.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1974 [35] Canada’s new ‘Global Television Network’ debuts

1975 [34] Chuck Woolery hosts & Susan Stafford turns over the letters on the new TV game show “Wheel Of Fortune” (most-watched game show of all-time)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1964 [45] The Rolling Stones headline their first tour (to put this into perspective, the opening act is … the Ronettes)

1993 [16] Bill Wyman announces his retirement from the Rolling Stones

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1681 [328] 1st recorded ‘Boxing Match’ (Duke of Albemarle’s butler vs his butcher)

1936 [73] 1st-ever ‘Female Mayor’ in Canada (Barbara Hanley in Webbwood ON)

1952 [57] “Peanuts” by Charles Schulz debuts in newspapers (most successful syndicated comic strip in history)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1980 [29] Philadelphia Flyers set NHL record of 35 consecutive games without a defeat

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Orthodox Christmas
[Wed] Organize Your Home Day
[Wed] 35th People’s Choice Awards (CBS)
[Wed] Old Rock Day
[Wed] I’m Not Going to Take It Anymore Day
[Thurs] NCAA BCS National Title Football Game
[Thurs] Volunteer Fireman’s Day
[Thurs] Pharmacists Day
This Week Is … Lose Weight/Feel Great Week
This Month Is … Bread Machine Baking Month

BULL’S BITS

BS SIGNS YOU SPENT TOO MUCH DURING THE HOLIDAYS:
• Credit card companies are sending you thank-you notes.
• The government just directed bailout funds to your bank account.
• UPS has opened an office … on your driveway.
• You are now officially China’s biggest trading partner.
• The guy who just stole your credit card calls you to complain.
• Advertisers are using your name directly in their ads.
• You represent a 42% slice on Amazon.com’s earnings pie-chart.
– BBSpot.com

WHAT ARE THEY SELLING?
Unpromising actual apartment ads found on Craigslist that would make even less promising personal ads …
• “Beautiful on the Inside!”
• “Totally Gutted and Refurbished Charmer!”
• “Huge Unit! Looking for Single Person or Couple Only.”
• “Back on Market. Spacious! Clean!”
• “Unique.”
• “Your Complex Awaits!”
• “Big … Close to Everything …”
• “Rarely Available and Will Go Quickly!”
• “Look No Further! I’m Where the Welcome Mat Goes!”
• “Gas, Garbage Included. Cozy.”
– Thanks to Eric Feezell

BS QUICK-PICK TRIVIA:
• What does the ‘Scoville Scale’, invented in 1912, measure?
a. Foot length.
b. Loudness of sound.
c. The heat of peppers. [CORRECT. A sweet bell pepper forms the baseline at ‘0' Scoville Heat Units. From there, the higher the number of units, the bigger the burn.]
Some hot pepper rankings …
– Jalapeno (2,500-5,000 SHU)
– Cayenne (30,000 SHU)
– Tabasco (50,000 SHU)
– Habanero (300,000 SHU)
– Naga Jolokia (1 million+ SHU)

• What does the ‘Pyruvate Scale’ (pronounced ‘PIE-roo-vate’) measure?
a. The amount of gold in unprocessed ore.
b. The pungency of onions or garlic. [CORRECT. It's named after the acid in onions which makes cooks cry.]
c. The vocal range of opera singers.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What unusual item have you returned to a store for a refund after having used it?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Surveys show THIS is the most-read in the bathroom.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Labels.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Smile … it makes people wonder what you are thinking.


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