Wednesday, January 29, 2003        Edition: #2465
Have Another Sheetload!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Actor Rob Lowe is finalizing a deal to produce and star in a new TV legal drama called “Lyon’s Den”, playing an idealistic attorney in a century-old law firm (if picked up, he’ll be earning significantly more than the $45,000 per episode he was getting on “The West Wing”) . . . Buzz is “Everybody Loves Raymond” star Ray Romano demanded, and will get, $1.5 million an episode to return for an 8th season, which would make him the highest-paid actor on TV (at 50% more than the greedy “Friends” cast) . . . THIS WEEK Detroit-area prosecutors may subpoena 60-year-old soul-singing legend Aretha Franklin and compel her to testify about a fire that destroyed her mansion OCTOBER 25th and has since been ruled arson (investigators unsuccessfully attempted to interview her 3 times) . . . Word has it J-Lo was so furious fiancé Ben Affleck wanted a night out alone with best bud Matt Damon that he was forced to apologize by sending $3,000-worth of pink roses (this marriage is already rocky) . . . In praise of older women – 40-year-old actress Demi Moore has been secretly dating 26-year-old “Minority Report” actor Colin Farrell, and 38-year-old “Unfaithful“ star Diane Lane is said to be close to walking down the aisle with her 34-year-old boyfriend Josh Brolin (cradle robbers!) . . . On the other hand, 37-year-old rehab-ed actor Robert Downey Jr was reportedly so infatuated with 22-year-old pop singer Christina Aguilera, he bombarded her with some 3 dozen love faxes asking her out on a date, until she finally got fed up and faxed back – “Look you’re too old!”.

NEW JARGON:
• ‘HiPo List’ – Short for ‘High Potential List’, it’s the pool of younger eager-beaver employees thought to have the right stuff to become future corporate execs – after appropriate brainwashing, of course.
• ‘Abandonware’ – Older software, generally still protected by copyright, that’s no longer sold or supported by the maker but popular enough to be illegally ‘shared’ by software pirates.
• ‘Diplo-Speak’ – The coded language spoken by diplomats to ‘send a message’ without actually committing to anything. ‘Diplo-Babble’, on the other hand, is laden with fuzzy buzzwords and contains no message at all.

CHEESY SCIENCE:
Researchers at AgResearch in Hamilton, New Zealand have cloned a herd of 9 cows that are  genetically-engineered to produce milk that can be turned into cheese far faster and more easily. The designer cattle are engineered to overproduce milk proteins called ‘caseins’, the primary components of cheese. The result is milk that practically turns itself into cheese!

PLAY SOME AC/DC TO GET IN THE MOOD:
A study at Britain’s Manchester University suggests that listening to loud music stimulates the part of the brain’s pleasure center that controls our cravings for sex and food. The effect is enhanced my a small organ in the inner ear which normally controls our sense of balance, but when exposed to loud music also tickles the fancy of the brain’s sexy center. The researchers think this may be the reason some people get a pleasurable buzz when they listen to loud music. The only other animal which displays similar characteristics is – the fish.

LET MY LEGO GO:
Lego Company has announced that one of only two existing scale replicas of the famous Stanley Cup is missing since the close of the annual sports “Super Show” that took place in Las Vegas LAST WEEK. The model was on display to promote the new line of Lego NHL Hockey sets at the industry’s largest sports equipment show. The company is offering a reward of NHL tickets and free product to whoever finds and returns the model.
PHONER: 800-233-8756

PLAYING BLOCKS:
Psychologists are using a new tool to get inside the heads of corporate decision-makers – Lego! Big-time international companies like Ikea and Nokia are spending thousands per person to attend ‘Lego Serious Play’, a joint venture between Lego and the Imagination Lab in Lausanne, Switzerland, where teams of execs are challenged to solve Lego building problems using fresh ideas. The use of Lego, they say, allows the whole team to visualise an issue. (Next – executive finger painting, to encourage thinking outside the lines.)

TEAM COMES UP COLD:
You thought the Jamaican bobsled team was weird? The Kenyan team entered in NEXT WEEK’S ‘International Snow-Sculpting Olympics’ at the “Quebec Winter Carnival” is facing a few problems. First off, only one member of the team has ever even seen snow. They also don’t have money for plane tickets yet because potential sponsors in Kenya do not understand the term ‘snow sculpting’. There’s also no place to buy winter clothing, even in the Kenyan capital of in Nairobi. (Maybe they should try Lego in Switzerland?)
OTHER BS EVENTS AT THE WINTER CARNIVAL:
• ‘Write Your Name in the Snow Competition’
• ‘Driveway Shovel Race’
• ‘Pick the Skin Off Chapped Lips Relay’
• ‘The Skate to Open Water’
• ‘Rip Your Tongue Off a Frost Fence Race’
• ‘Luke Warm Chocolate Chug-A-Lug’
• ‘Worst Hat-Head Contest’

THANKS FOR THE MAMMARIES:
Local health authorities have banned a restaurant in south China’s Hunan province from serving more than 60 tantalizing delicacies – cooked in breast milk. Among the so-called ‘nutritional dishes’ on the menu: ‘abalone in breast milk’, ‘perch soup with breast milk’ and ‘freshwater mussels cooked in breast milk’. The restaurant obtained its daily milk supply from 6 lactating women between 23 and 30, whom it called ‘nutritionists’, but the authorities say the dishes do not meet hygiene standards. Even the public disapproved and response to the unusual cuisine was poor during a promotional launch. (No one complained about the serving utensils, however.)

THE CUTTING EDGE – RWD:
After spending decades convincing us the best way to make a car is to pump the power through the front wheels, North American auto manufacturers are now racing to embrace ‘Rear Wheel Drive’, a technology they all but wrote off in the 1980s. But why? Chrysler CEO Dieter Zetsche says rear-wheel drive (RWD) handles lots of power better than front-wheel drive. It will also help differentiate domestic manufacturers from the increasing import competition.

IT WASN’T ME, HONEST:
A team of scientists in England has spent 5 years developing a more sophisticated lie-detector called the ‘Silent Talker’ which uses a laptop computer and a camera to detect and analyze thousands of tiny facial movements, many imperceptible to the naked eye. Tests demonstrate an 80% accuracy rate as opposed to just 60% for the traditional polygraph lie detector which monitors stress through perspiration, heart rate and voice pitch. The ‘Silent Talker’ can also rank degrees of lying – ‘complete lie’, ‘half-lie’, etc. It could be used in the future to screen for hijackers and insurance cheats with unprecedented accuracy.

THE DIGITAR IS COMING:
Engineers at Gibson Labs in Sunnyvale CA expect to unveil the first digital ‘networked’ guitar by the end of THIS YEAR. They’ve been working 3 years to craft ‘Magic’, a custom digital network technology based on Ethernet, that will be built into guitars, amps, speakers and other gear. It’s expected that within 5 to 10 years, electric instruments and related equipment will all be digital.

CAN I GET A LOAN FOR THIS?
Over the past week, Japanese domestic interest rates fell BELOW ZERO for the first time, thanks to Bank of Japan’s policy of flooding the banking system with excess cash to drive them down. The overnight rate on money traded between banks dropped as low as minus 0.02%. That means borrowers (mostly foreign banks) actually paid back less than the amount borrowed.

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Did you know there’s more vitamin C in a raw potato than in an orange? (Think about that this morning while you’re drinking your potato juice.)
• Half of heat loss from your body is through the head. So if you’re cold, you should put on a hat – even when you’re indoors. That’s why they wore nightcaps in the old days!

THE BULL SHEET 01.29.2K3

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [58] Tom Selleck, Detroit MI, movie actor (“Three Men & a Baby”)/former TV actor (“Magnum PI” 1980-88)

1954 [49] Oprah Winfrey, Kosciusko MS, 1st woman to own & produce her own TV talk show (“Oprah” since 1986)/movie producer & actress (“Beloved”)/magazine publisher (“O”)

1965 [38] Dominik Hasek, Pardubice CZE, future Hall of Fame NHL goaltender (2002 Stanley Cup-Detroit Red Wings)

1968 [35] Ed Burns, Woodside NY, movie actor (“Life or Something Like It”, “Saving Private Ryan”)/movie producer/director (“Sidewalks of New York”, “She’s the One”)  FACTOID: A couple of years ago, he bought the late John F Kennedy Jr’s Manhattan loft for over $2 million.

1970 [33] Heather Graham, Milwaukee WI, movie actress (“Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me”, “Scream 2″)  UP NEXT: The Jack Nicholson/AdamSandler comedy “Anger Management”, opening APRIL 11

1979 [24] Andrew Keegan, LA CA, movie actor (“10 Things I Hate About You”)/TV actor (Wilson West-“7th Heaven 2001-02, Reed Isley-“Party of Five” 1997-98)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Free Thinker’s Day”, celebrating the fact that everyone has the right to agree with what I think.

TODAY is “National Corn Chip Day”. Ask listeners to put 10 of them in their mouths and whistle a tune.

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1796 [207] Toronto main drag Yonge Street takes its name from British Minister of War Sir George Yonge

1900 [103] ‘American League’ 1st organized, with 8 baseball teams (Indianapolis, Buffalo, Chicago, Detroit, Cleveland, Kansas City, Milwaukee, and Minneapolis)

1936 [67] 1st players elected to ‘Baseball Hall of Fame’ (Ty Cobb, Honus Wagner, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, and Walter Johnson)

1963 [40] 1st members of ‘NFL Hall of Fame’ announced in Canton OH (Jim Thorpe, Red Grange, and George Halas)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1988 [15] Largest NBA crowd (61,938 watch Boston at Detroit)

1995 [08] 1st NFL team to win 5 Super Bowls (San Francisco defeats San Diego 49-26)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Sat] Chinese New Year (Year of the Ram)
[Sun] Groundhog Day (http://www.groundhog.org)
[Sun] NHL All-Star Game (Sunrise FL)
[Sun] NFL Pro Bowl (Honolulu HI)
[Sun] Diabetes Sunday
[Mon] Bifocals at the Monitor Liberation Day
[Mon] Men’s Grooming Day
This Week Is . . . Catholic Schools Week (that’s why [co-host] is wearing a cute little plaid skirt) International Clergy Appreciation Week (“Er … it’s OK father, I can appreciate you from over here …”)
This Month Is . . . Self-Defense Awareness Month (aka ‘Jackie Chan Month’) / Yours Mine and Ours Month (kids, not money!)

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS LIST LOOT:

Name as many things as you can that can be worn on your feet that begin with the letter ‘S’. We’ll pay you $– for each! [Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, snowshoes, stockings, etc.]

BS PHONE STARTER:
You’ve hear of the “Gay ‘90s”, the “Roaring ‘20s” and the “Love-Haight ’60s”, but what do we call our current decade? (“Arizona Republic” says the most commonly used name is ‘The Zeroes’ Dull, huh?)

BS BLATANT JOKE:
Only a couple of weeks until Valentine’s Day or, as men like to call it, ‘Extortion Day’. I feel bad for people whose relatives die on Valentine’s Day. How much would flowers cost then, 10 grand?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Typically, it takes us an average of 8 minutes to do this.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Talk on the phone.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It’s not the pace of life that concerns me, it’s the sudden stop at the end.

 


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