Tuesday, January 28, 2003        Edition: #2467
Know Your Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
22-year-old Christina Aguilera says she’s still coming to terms with the violence from her father as a child and still suffers panic attacks (causing her to forget to dress herself) . . . 27-year-old actress Angelina Jolie has temporarily covered a tattoo of ex-hubby Billy Bob Thornton’s name on her arm with a large bandage, dreading the painful laser surgery required to remove it (let this be a lesson to you, kids!) . . . 21-year-old US marine Lance Corporal Josh Gracin was scheduled to be deployed to Kuwait THIS WEEK, but ‘higher authorities’ have intervened so he can continue competing on “American Idol” (after all, priorities are priorities!) . . . Word is Liza Minnelli & David Gest are set to shell out $5 million on their 1st anniversary party in MARCH (proving nothing exceeds like excess) . . . Following the success of the movie musical “Chicago”, talks are underway to bring “Guys & Dolls” to the bigscreen starring – no BS – Vin Diesel! . . . “Spider-Man” star Tobey Maguire, who was seeing Demi Moore, is now stuck on new girlfriend Jen Meyer, who just happens to be the daughter of Universal Studios president Ron Meyer (unlike Demi, she can keep him working!) . . . 30-year-old actor Jude Law tops a new “Total Film” magazine poll on who should become the next ‘James Bond’ . . . A book and possibly a bio-movie are being lined up about Charles Moose, the Montgomery County MD police chief who led the DC sniper investigation . . . Saw this coming – TV viewers seem to be getting tired of “The Osbournes” as ratings have been dropping since the debut of the show’s 2nd season (other than being weird – what’s this family’s talent?) . . . And word is “Chicago” star Richard Gere & wife Carey Lowell have banned all swearing in their home, and if visitors let any foul language slip – they’re asked to leave!

TODAY’S DVD & VHS RELEASES:
Susan Sarandon & Goldie Hawn star in the comedy “The Banger Sisters” as former rock groupies and best friends who reconnect after 20 years to discover one is still as wild as ever while the other has adopted a more conservative lifestyle . . . Dana Carvey stars in the family comedy “Master of Disguise” as Italian waiter ‘Pistachio Disguisey’, who fights a criminal mastermind using his inherited powers of disguise (it’s even dumber than it sounds!).

BUSMAN’S HOLIDAY – IN THE HOOZGOW:
24-year-old David Richards from Canterbury UK has been sentenced to 4 months in jail for driving drunk in a stolen vehicle. What makes it unusual is the vehicle he stole – a transit bus, which he drove along its normal 10-mile route, picking up passengers and taking their fares.

MORE Zs PLEASE:
Figures from the National Center for Health Statistics show the average night’s sleep in 1910 lasted 9 hours, while these days we average just 7 hours in the sack. (7 whole hours? These people have obviously never done morning radio!)

LIGHTEN UP & LIVE LONGER:
A new study published in the journal “Health Psychology” suggests that heart attacks are more common among those with high levels of hostility than those with traditional risk factors. In other words, you could lower your cholesterol, lose weight & stop smoking but still suffer the ‘big one’ thanks to the uncontrolled anger you feel toward others.

LATEST LOOK FOR MOMMIES-TO-BE:
The ‘Bellybra’, combining a bra and belly support, is the latest in maternity wear sold on the Internet. The $75 bra supports the lower belly and back. Inventor Linda Turner describes it as lingerie that ‘doesn’t make a pregnant woman look like a cow’. She suggests it might also be used by overweight men to rein in beer bellies. (Will that catch on – fat guys in lingerie?)

THE GENESIS OF SPEEDO:
Guess who’s doing a special ‘swimsuit issue’? “National Geographic”! A special newsstand-only edition coming SATURDAY takes a detailed look at the history of the bathing suit over the past 100 years. (Including those wool jobs that covered women to the ankles.)

MUCH ADO ABOUT A ‘DO:
A Yale University study suggests that a ‘bad hair day’ can indeed affect self-esteem, causing you not only to feel embarrassed, but also less smart, less capable and less sociable. And guess what? It affects men more than women!

HOLDING HIMSELF HOSTAGE:
Singer Charly Garcia has been famous for 20 years in Argentina but he’s never made much money from it. Now he’s threatening to quit the biz unless fans deposit a dollar each into a special bank account. If that doesn’t work, he says he’ll go to New York. (But only if a thousand or so fans can help him with the airfare.)

GAMING GOES HOLLYWOOD:
As Angelina Jolie finishes up “Tomb Raider 2″ in Hong Kong (opening in JULY), here’s a look at one magazine’s take on the worst video game movies of all-time. Yup, there’s actually been 10 of them!
1. Super Mario Brothers (1993)
2. Wing Commander (1999)
3. Street Fighter (1994)
4. Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001)
5. Double Dragon (1994)
6. The House of The Dead (2003)
7. Resident Evil (2002)
8. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)
9. Pokemon: The First Movie (1999)
10. Mortal Kombat (1995)
Source: “Game Spy”

THE BULL SHEET 01.28.2K3

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1936 [67] Alan Alda (Alphonso D’Abruzzo), NYC, TV host (“Scientific American”)/TV actor (3 Emmy Awards as ‘Hawkeye Pierce’ on “M*A*S*H” 1972-1983)

1968 [35] Sarah McLachlan, Halifax NS, pop singer (“Adia”, “Sweet Surrender”)

1977 [26] Joey Fatone Jr, Brooklyn NY, pop singer (‘N Sync-“Girlfriend”, “Pop”)

1980 [23] Nick Carter, Jamestown NY, pop singer (Backstreet Boys-“Drowning”, “As Long As You Love Me”)

1981 [22] Elijah Wood, Cedar Rapids IA, bug-eyed movie actor (‘Frodo Baggins’-“Lord of the Rings” trilogy)

1985 [18] Athina Onassis Roussel, Paris FRA, world’s richest girl (daughter of Christina & Thierry Roussel) who TODAY inherits half of her late grandfather Aristotle Onassis’ immense estate – in excess of $3 BILLION

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “National Kazoo Day”, honoring the musical instrument even the most untalented can play. Historical research places the origins of this instrument with the Roman military kazoo bands that led Caesar’s legions against the hordes of Vercingetorix in 52 BC. (“We’re being invaded by a legion of kazoo players – RUN!”)

TODAY is “Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day”, saluting the plastic bubble packing material no one can resist popping.

TODAY is “International Clash Day”, when you’re supposed to put together the gaudiest outfit you can find, in order to brighten up the winter blahs. (Well, this gives us a clue as to why [co-host’] is so happy every morning.)

TODAY is “Swap a Brown Bag Lunch Day” to add some excitement to your noon hour. (Fried egg and tuna. Yummy!)

TODAY in Lerwick, in Scotland’s Shetland Islands, it’s the annual ”Up-Helly-Aa”, the traditional ancient Norse festival in which a fiery ship is sent out to sea as a sacrifice to the Sun. (Great place for your mother-in-law to take a cruise vacation.)

TONIGHT US president George W Bush delivers the annual “State of the Union Address” to a joint session of Congress, expected to include more saber rattling over Iraq. Last year’s speech became famous for Dubya’s description of Iran, Iraq & North Korea as the ‘axis of evil’.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1985 [18] 45 top recording artists attend an all-night recording session in LA to produce the charity record “We Are the World” in aid of African famine relief (among those participating –  Lionel Richie, Michael Jackson, Cyndi Lauper, Kenny Rogers, Dolly Parton, Sting, Diana Ross, Paul Simon & many others)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1878 [125] 1st ‘telephone switchboard’ is installed in New Haven CT and George Coy becomes 1st ‘telephone operator’ (instead of ‘hello’, the common way to answer a ringing telephone is ‘ahoy!’)

1934 [69] 1st ‘rope tow’ for skiing opens in Woodstock VT (before that, a helluva lot of uphill walking!)

1983 [20] 1st ‘CD’ broadcast on radio, Britain’s BBC (a senior sound engineer at the time says, “It’s a great idea, shame it will never catch on.”)

1999 [04] 1st ‘live sex change operation’ performed on the Internet (was it a download or an upload?)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1928 [75] Christopher Hornsrud becomes Prime Minister of Norway – at age 101!

1984 [19] Glynn Wolfe weds for a non-bigamous record 26th time, in Las Vegas

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Corn Chip Day
[Sat] Chinese New Year (Year of the Ram)
[Sun] Groundhog Day
[Sun] NHL All-Star Game (Sunrise FL)
[Sun] NFL Pro Bowl (Honolulu HI)
[Sun] Diabetes Sunday
This Week Is . . . National Glaucoma Week / National Meat Week (carnivores unite!)
This Month Is . . . Chilly Month / Human Resources Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:

• If you suffer from kleptomania, should you take something for it?
• Is it possible for reality checks to bounce?
• If your blood type is B-negative, are you destined to be a pessimist?
• If your teenager threatens to run away from home, should you try to get it in writing?
• Scientists say that the first 5 minutes of your life are the most dangerous, but aren’t the last 5 pretty risky too?

ACTUAL ARTICLES FOUND IN WOMEN’S MAGAZINES:
• “Bad Boy, Hot Sex! Should You Keep Him?”
• “He Was My Friend . . . And Then I Slept With Him!”
• “Jerk Alert! Men to Avoid at All Costs!”
• “Is He a Wimp Because He Primps?”
• “Whatever Happened to Mr Exciting?”
• “Can You Really Tell a Man By His Shoes?”

BS BLATANT JOKE:
What’s the difference between porcupines and BMWs? (Porcupines have pricks on the outside.)

BS WHO’S YOUR DADDY?
Can you name the famous father of the following celebrities?
• Jennifer Aniston of “Friends”. [John Aniston, who plays ‘Victor’ on the soap opera “Days Of Our Lives”.]
• Jamie Lee Curtis of the movies “Halloween” and “True Lies”. [Movie actor Tony Curtis.]
• Emilio Estevez from the movie “The Breakfast Club”. [“The West Wing’s” Martin Sheen.]
• “Fatal Attraction“ star Michael Douglas. [“Spartacus” star Kirk Douglas.]
• Keifer Sutherland from the TV hit “24″. [Movie actor Donald Sutherland.]
• John Ritter of the TV show “8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter”. [Legendary country & western singer Tex Ritter.]
• “Lord of the Rings” actress Liv Tyler. [Aerosmith singer Steven Tyler.]
• “Tomb Raider” star Angelina Jolie. [Actor Jon Voight, who appeared in the movie “Anaconda” with Jennifer Lopez.]
Source: “Fun Trivia”

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: If you’ve never done this, you’re like half the people between the ages of 35 and 44.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Made a will.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The great thing about cold weather is that you don’t have to see as many tattoos.

 


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