Friday, January 10, 2003        Edition: #2452
Nothing Like a Bull In Your Radio Shop!

TODAY Steven Spielberg gets the first Hollywood ‘Walk of Fame’ star of 2003 in front of the Kodak Theater, home of the Academy Awards . . . Eminem has signed a licensing deal with Nesi Apparel to create a collection of sportswear (if he has any say, it’ll all be sweats) . . . The family of late Irish actor Richard Harris are urging the makers of “Harry Potter” to pass the part of ‘Professor Dumbledore’ on to his drinking buddy, actor Peter O’Toole (same bloodshot eyes and veiny nose) . . . Both Sharon Osbourne & Ellen DeGeneres have landed deals for TV talk shows that will launch THIS FALL . . . At 34 and with 3 failed marriages behind her, Lisa Marie Presley has decided it is time to embark on a pop career and her debut album due in APRIL will imaginatively be titled – “Lisa Marie Presley” . . . Wacko actor Steven Seagal claims in a bizarre new lawsuit that he has recently been the target of an extortion plot hatched by members of the ‘German Mafia’ who have threatened to assault him and destroy his reputation in the movie industry (uh Steve buddy, you pretty much did that yourself) . . . And, in case you care, Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake have reportedly rekindled their romance, at least for one night, celebrating the event with a steamy night of passion at her NYC condo (if you wanna get that horrific mental picture out of your mind, sniff some ammonia).

Ashton Kutcher (“That ’70s Show”) teams with his current off-screen girlfriend, Brittany Murphy (“8 Mile”), in the romantic comedy “Just Married”, about a mismatched couple who rush into marriage (oh, you mean like all of us?) . . . The documentary “Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Movie” features concert footage and glimpses into the offstage lives of four comics on the road – Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall, Ron White, and Larry the Cable Guy.

Awards in music, movies & TV as voted by the public and presented SUNDAY on CBS-TV, hosted by Tony Danza (what did we do to deserve this?). And the nominees are –
• ‘Favorite Male Musical Performer’: Eminem, Alan Jackson, and Nelly.
• ‘Favorite Female Musical Performer’: Celine Dion, Faith Hill, and Jennifer Lopez.
• ‘Favorite Musical Group or Band’: Creed, Dixie Chicks, and *N Sync
• ‘Favorite Movie’: “Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring”, “Spider-Man”, and “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”
• ‘Favorite TV Comedy’: “The Bernie Mac Show”, “Friends”, and “Everybody Loves Raymond” (Ray Romano & Patricia Heaton are also up for ‘Favorite TV Performers’)
• ‘Favorite TV Drama’: “CSI”, “ER”, and “Law & Order”

The biggest-selling pop act in Eastern Europe, Tatu from Russia, is set to make a move into the Western market. What makes the duo of Lena Katina & Julia Volkova unusual is – they are openly lesbian. They strip each other’s scanty school uniforms off onstage during live shows and are shown smooching and cuddling in their videos. Even the name ‘Tatu’ is geared to outrage – roughly translating as ‘this girl loves that girl’. They’re a big hit at home where their album “200KM/H In The Wrong Lane” has already sold over a million copies.

The Palms Casino & Resort in Las Vegas now features strobe lights and dancing poles like those used by exotic dancers in its party suites that rent for $1,000 week nights and $1,500 weekends. The target market? Bachelor and bachelorette parties!

Scientists at the University of Chicago have found that sleeping alone can cause insomnia. In a research study, they found that solitary sleepers slept for shorter periods and woke up more often than those who shared the sack with someone else. (Yeah, tell that to the long-suffering wife of a snorting, sneezing and snoring oaf!)

A number of cases of women suffering ‘meralgia paresthetica’ have been reported, apparently caused by the wearing of those skintight, low-slung hip-hugger jeans that are in fashion. The condition is commonly known as ‘tingly thighs’. (Is that a bad thing?)

What country has the most crimes per capita in the world? Bet you’d guess a long time before coming up with the correct answer – Vatican City! According to new stats, 608 penal offences
were committed LAST YEAR in the independent religious state. The vast majority were robberies committed by pickpockets against tourists. There were also 397 civil proceedings, mainly traffic offences and charges for insulting officials. So there you go – over 1,000 offences in a country with a population of just 455. (And that doesn’t include crimes committed by priests!)

The Internet porn industry has launched an association called ‘Adult Sites Against Child Pornography‘, which claims kiddie porn is giving regular porn a bad name. The group is seeking ways to address the issue of child pornography in order protect the online porn industry which generates $3 BILLION annually.

New stats from DVD Entertainment Group show that watching home movies has become our favorite form of entertainment. We now spend far more buying or renting videos than attending movies in theaters, or buying music, video games or books. The stats also show that DVD now dominates the home video market with a 57% share, up from 38% in 2001, an indication the end is near for the VHS format.

Italian scientists at Naples University have found that drinking beer isn’t the only reason men get saggy stomachs – it’s genetic! The 20-year study shows that men with a particular variant of the so-called ‘beer-gut gene’ are TWICE as likely to get fat, particularly around the midriff, whether or not they drink beer. (So have another barley sandwich – now you’ve got an excuse!)

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals have named Utah entrepreneur Eric Ward to their list of ‘compassionate retailers’. His online business offers supplies for sadomasochists that are ‘cruelty-free’. That’s because the selection of whips, collars, harnesses and belts have the look of leather but are actually made from synthetics. He also offers ‘vegan condoms’ using latex made from milk-free cocoa powder.

• A man from Bhopal, India is looking for sanctioning from the “Guinness Book of World Records” for his ability to keyboard 60 words per minute in either English or Hindi. What’s truly amazing is – Farhat Khan does it using only one finger!
• 44-year-old zoning board officer Andrew Kulyk and 32-year-old letter carrier Peter Farrell of Buffalo NY recently ended the ultimate sports road trip – visiting all 102 venues in the 49 cities of the 121 teams in the NFL, NHL, NBA and Major League Baseball. It took them 4 years! Their pick for best sports venue? The Conseco Fieldhouse, home of the NBA’s Indiana Pacers, followed by Reliant Stadium, the new home of the NFL’s Houston Texans.
PHONER: 716-656-0791 (Andrew Kulyk)


1935 [68] Ronnie Hawkins, Huntsville AR, Canadian rock icon who assembled The Band

1938 [65] Frank Mahovlich (“The Big M”), Timmins ON, Canadian Senator/Hall of Fame NHL player

1945 [58] Rod Stewart, Glasgow SCOT, wrinkle-rock singer (“Maggie May”, “Do You Think I’m Sexy”)

1948 [55] Donald Fagen, Passaic NJ, classic rock singer (Steely Dan-“Reeling in the Years”)

1953 [50] Pat Benatar (Andrzejewski), Brooklyn NY, classic rocker (“Hit Me with Your Best Shot”)

1958 [45] Shawn Colvin, Vermillion SD, pop singer (“Sunny Came Home”)/ex-London ON resident

1964 [39] Brad Roberts, Winnipeg MB, rock singer (Crash Test Dummies-“Ghosts That Haunt Me”, “Mmm Mmm Mmm”)

1815 [D-1891] Sir John A MacDonald, Glasgow SCOT, 1st Prime Minister of Canada (1867-73)

1934 [69] Jean Chrétien, Shawinigan QC, 20th Prime Minister of Canada (1993-present)

1942 [61] Clarence Clemons, Norfolk VA, classic rock musician (Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band-“The Rising”)

1946 [57] Naomi (Diane) Judd, Ashland KY, TV talent show judge (“Star Search”)/retired country singer (Judds-“Have Mercy”)/Wynonna’s mom

1968 [35] Tom Dumont, LA CA, rock guitarist (No Doubt-“Underneath It All”, “Hella Good”)

1971 [32] Mary J Blige, Bronx NY, hip-hop singer (“Family Affair”, “No More Drama”)

TODAY is “BS Egg Balancing Day”, when you can take your average egg, place it on it’s fat end and it stands on its own. Truth be told, it works any day. But hey, it’s a long cold winter and any distraction is welcome!

TODAY is “Peculiar People Day”, a good day to have listeners call in stories about the weird habits of people they know.

TODAY through next Thursday is “International Thank You Days”, a week to thank someone from your past who did something nice for you. (Your ex- for leaving, for instance.)

1863 [140] World’s 1st ‘subway’ opens (the ‘Metropolitan’ in London, aka the ‘tube’)

1999 [04] Critically acclaimed TV drama series “The Sopranos” premieres on HBO

2000 [03] ‘Biggest corporate merger’ ever as America Online announces it will buy Time Warner for $162 billion

[Sun] Volunteer Fireman’s Day
[Mon] National Clean-Off-Your-Desk Day (if you can find it)
[Mon] Thank God It’s Monday Day (yeah right)
[Mon] 30th American Music Awards
[Tues] Dress Up Your Pet Day (put a helmet on your snake)
[Wed] Hat Day (wear a goofy hat to dispel the boredom of mid-winter!)
This Week Is . . . Intimate Apparel Week (aka ‘Wear Your Boyfriend’s Boxers Week’)
This Month Is . . . Fiber Focus Month (you REALLY focus about 18 hours after eating it)


If you didn’t have to worry about cost, what would be your dream car? Your answer reflects your taste in partners –
• SUV – Reliability is the key to revving up your sensitive heart. Your ideal mate is trustworthy and strong, someone you can lean on when the road gets bumpy. Just make sure you can still steer through life’s curves on your own when you need to.
• Sports Car – Good looks are your main mate-attraction. But focusing on the exterior means it’s easy for you to end up with a lemon. So always check under the hood and look for junk in the trunk before you drive anything home.
• Upscale Luxury Car – Social status and money are crucial in your relationships. The right family, school and career all add up to your idea of a perfect partner. Ambition isn’t a bad thing, but your honey might worry about being just another rung on your ladder to success.
• Don’t Have a Dream Car – You’re open and accepting which makes you happy with anyone who meets your minimum standards. You don’t expect others to fulfill your dreams, which could mean a smooth road to contentment. Just make sure you’re satisfied, not settling!

Two of the following are actual tabloid headlines, one a complete fake. But which?
GAME #1 –
• “Fang You, Fang You Very Much – Vampire Elvis Is On The Prowl!”
• “Crows Peck Holes in Sleeping Man’s Head … And Eat His Brain!”
• “Shocking Discovery – Michael Jackson & Sister Janet Are The Same Person!” [FAKE]

GAME #2 –
• “Home Is Haunted By A Flatulent Ghost!”
• “Bus Driver Escapes Flying Fish Attack!”
• “Three-Headed Man Gets Discount on Hats!” [FAKE]

GAME #3 –
• “Giant Jellyfish Set To Invade US!”
• “Peanut Butter Can Make You Sterile!” [FAKE]
• “Bloodthirsty Squirrel Holds Entire Town Hostage!”      

Today’s Question: Men are 3 times more likely than women to faint here.                                    
Answer to Give Out Next Show: The dentist’s office.

Don’t take life too seriously, it’s not permanent.

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