Wednesday, January 3, 2001        Zee Bull is Back!        Edition:  #1961

BS THINGS WE PROMISE NOT TO MENTION ON THIS SHOW IN 2001:
• Anything to do with Madonna’s wedding.
• Those annoyingly overused expressions “At the end of the day . . .”, “Whassup?” and “Is that your final answer?”.
• The name Richard Hatch.
• In light of the fact we just took out a second mortgage to cover the heating bill, we will NOT be mentioning ‘global warming’.
• The name Kathie Lee Gifford.
• Anything to do with ‘Y2K’ or ‘millennium’.
• The word that kids have worn down to a nub – ‘whatever’.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY the nominees for the 2001 “Grammy Awards” will be announced at simultaneous press conferences in NYC, LA and Nashville (the hardware will be handed out FEBRUARY 21) . . .  As if the chart-topping “1″ and his painting exhibitions aren’t enough exposure, Paul McCartney will now publish a collection of over 100 of his poems to be called “Blackbird Singing”, many of them about wife Linda (sample — “Her loss affects me like the plague, so I’ve got a new girl with one leg”) . . . Here comes the UK’s next game show export – “The Weakest Link”, in which contestants try to answer general knowledge questions, then vote off the worst performer at the end of each round — now being developed for 17 other countries including the USA (get ready for the buzz phrase “You are the weakest link. Goodbye!”) . . . Bubble brain bimbo Anna Nicole Smith is apparently PO’d that “Playboy” magazine will publish unauthorized nude photos of her in its FEBRUARY issue, which she calls “tacky” (hey babe, you DEFINE the word).

FEWER TIES THAT BIND:
Research shows that JANUARY has the fewest marriages of any month of the year. Coincidently, it also has the fewest divorces. (Makes sense — she doesn’t want to throw him out until he’s helped pay some of the post-holiday credit card bills, and he doesn’t want to find himself literally out in the cold.)

WE OWE MR SANDMAN:
Thanks to a combination of late hours, alcohol, rich foods, exposure to unfamiliar surroundings and artificial light deep into the night over the holidays, experts say most of us build up ‘sleep debt’, a condition which can affect how well we sleep for weeks after the holidays. Perhaps that why someone, somewhere has declared TODAY “Festival of Sleep Day”.

TOP TERM OF 2000:
The slang term ‘Senior Moment’, used to describe a temporary state of confusion, has been chosen as the word of the year for 2000 by the editors of “Webster’s New World College Dictionary”. (We’d tell you the runner-up, but we’re having a senior moment.)

THE REASON MOM’S SO SMART:
A new study of female mice in ”Natural Health” magazine finds motherhood makes them more curious, prone to fewer mistakes and able to learn mazes more quickly. (That’s why she knows you’re gonna need to take along a sweater when you don’t think so.)

THE BULL SHEET 01.03.01

TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1926     [75] Sir George Martin, Holloway ENG, record producer (The Beatles)
1932     [69] Dabney Coleman, Austin TX, movie actor (“Stuart Little”, “You’ve Got Mail”)
1939     [62] Bobby Hull, Point Anne ON, NHL legend (Chicago Blackhawks 1957-72)/Brett’s pop
1945    [56] Stephen Stills, Dallas TX, rock singer (CSN&Y-“Woodstock”)/double Rock & Roll Hall of Fame member for CSN&Y and Buffalo Springfield)
1956     [45] Mel Gibson, Peekskill NY, movie star (“What Women Want”, “Chicken Run”, “The Patriot”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
THIS WEEK the ‘Quebec Ice Hotel’ has opened for 3 months of biz outside Quebec City on a site overlooking the St Lawrence River and Montmorency Falls. It’s built from 4,500 tons of snow and 250 tons of ice and staffed by 32 people. So why pay 100 bucks a person to stay in a hotel made of ice when you can stay home and freeze your butt off?
PHONER: toll-free 877-505-0423 (communications director Helene Barbeau)
NET: http://www.icehotel-canada.com/en/home.htm

THIS WEEK Inuvik NWT is holding the 12th annual “Sunrise Festival”, celebrating the reappearance of the sun after 6 weeks of total darkness.
PHONER: 867-777-2607

ONE YEAR AGO . . .
2000    Final original daily “Peanuts” comic strip of Charles Schulz’s 50-year career

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1871     [130] Henry Bradley of Binghamton NY patents ‘margarine’ (“I can’t believe it’s not lard”)
1888    [113] 1st ‘drinking straws’ patented, which were actually hand-rolled until 1905
1977     [24] Apple Computer is incorporated
1991    [10] 1st ‘Super Soakers’ appear on the market (and 1st little sister whines “Dad, Jason just soaked me with his squirter!”)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Jan 7] 27th Annual People’s Choice Awards
[Jan 8] 28th Annual American Music Awards
[Jan 21] 58th Annual Golden Globe Awards
[Jan 29] 21st Annual Genie Awards

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS TRIVIA:

Q: Who was the first ‘anchorman’ on TV?
A: The term was coined to describe Walter Cronkite of the “CBS Evening News”, likening his lead position to that of an anchor on a relay team. For a time in Sweden, TV news anchors were actually called ‘Cronkiters’.
(Source: “Useless Digest”)

Q: How come we no longer get vaccinated on the butt?
A: According to the “British Medical Journal”, it’s now a less common practice because most people’s buns are too well padded with fat these days. Doctors now target the leaner upper arm or thigh.

BS TAG LINE: I know it’s hard for you to believe, but I can’t read a note of music. Every song I play, I play strictly by ear.

 


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