Monday, January 11, 2010        Edition: #4178
Never Accept a Generic – Ask For Pure “BS”!


WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:

• Fergie’s hubby, actor Josh Duhamel, celebrated their 1st wedding anniversary (January 10th) by secretly hiring a helicopter to whisk them off to the Bacara Resort & Spa in Santa Barbara CA for a secluded beachside vow renewal ceremony. The entire event was a total surprise to Fergie and insiders say she was ‘crying and very emotional’ as they took part in the 15-minute service. (Considering Duhamel’s bad year in the tabloids, this was a very, very smart move!)
– People.com
• For some rabid fans (‘Losties’), it’s not easy to deal with the fact that the final season of “Lost” is coming up and some have taken it out on Disney. Online petitions suggest the company (which owns the show’s distributor ABC-TV) should either redo “Tom Sawyer Island” in its theme parks as a “Lost” attraction or devote a entirely new space to it. (Featuring the ‘Smoke Monster Roller Coaster’?)
– Movieline.com
• Friday night Backstreet Boys singer  AJ McLean proposed to girlfriend Rochelle Deanna Karidis in a Las Vegas nightclub … onstage. He was out celebrating his 32nd birthday with a party at the Hard Rock Hotel’s Wasted Space nightspot when he jumped up onstage, asked his longterm partner to join him, then dropped to a knee and popped the question. (How intimate.)
– ContactMusic.com
• “Avatar” is now the #2 movie all-time in box office and on course to becoming the highest grossing film of all-time, eclipsing producer/director James Cameron’s previous blockbuster, “Titanic”, which racked up $1.84 billion during its 1997-1998 release. While “Titanic’s” #1 all-time ranking was a product of return business (people began bragging about how many times they’d seen it), it’s thought that “Avatar’s” huge box office gross is at least partly due to the higher cost of 3-D movie tickets. (For which you need to take out a loan.)
– “Hollywood Reporter”
• And 73-year-old veteran movie actor Dennis Hopper (“Speed”, “Easy Rider”) is said to be in his final days as he’s losing a battle with prostate cancer. He first revealed his struggle with the illness in October after being admitted to hospital suffering from severe flu-like symptoms. He immediately underwent treatment at the University of Southern California but doctors now admit hopes are fading since the cancer has spread.
– “News Of the World”

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Mary J Blige (“Stronger With Each Tear”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – David Gray (“Draw the Line”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Ryan Bingham (“Mescalito”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Ke$ha (“Animal”).
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Vampire Weekend (“Contra”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Carrie Underwood – The 26-year-old country star tells “Access Hollywood” she wants a simple wedding to 29-year-old Ottawa Senators NHL player Mike Fisher. Her needs are just ‘a groom, good food, and an open bar’. She also plans to be herself by ‘rocking some big hair and some eyeliner’.
• Drake – His debut album, “Thank Me Later”, is now slated for a February release, but before it even comes out he’s up for a Grammy Award for ‘Best Rap Solo Performance’ and ‘Best Rap Song’ for “Best I Ever Had”.
• Mariah Carey – She’s reportedly agreed to appear in a music video for a recording by billionaire playboy Prince Azim, son of the Sultan of Brunei, on one condition … Paris Hilton doesn’t. According to “Daily Star”, Mariah demanded: “It’s either me or her. I won’t do it with her. I’m a bigger name.” (When it come to which is more obnoxious … it’s a toss-up.)
• Marilyn Manson – “People” magazine reports the 41-year-old has become engaged to 22-year-old actress Evan Rachel Wood (“The Wrestler”, “Across the Universe”). They began dating in 2006, broke up in 2008, then got back together, broke up, and reconciled yet again … so far.
• Michael Jackson – AP reports that prosecutors are now prepared to seek an indictment against his personal physician, Dr Conrad Murray, on a charge of involuntary manslaughter.
• Red Hot Chili Peppers – When Flea recently discovered his students at LA’s Silverlake Conservatory Of Music were using cheap instruments, he decided to launch his own line of ‘affordable’ bass guitars dubbed the ‘Fleabass’. If you consider $500 affordable, that is.

DIET MOTIVATION:

The hi-tech ‘Wi-Fi Body Scale’ gadget automatically records the weight and Body Mass Index of the user and can upload those details to a web page or smart phone app. And now Withings, the French company behind the device, has added the ability to post the info on microblogging service Twitter. It means that every time a user steps on the scale, their entire social network will know how well – or how poorly – their battle with the bulge is going. (There goes one more chink in our personal privacy wall.)
– “Daily Telegraph”

HOW TO PICK WINE FOR A DINNER PARTY:

Wine experts offer some simple tips for picking plonk …
• Plan for about 3-quarters of a bottle per person for a sit-down dinner.
• Pick at least 1 white and 1 red.
• Make it personal. Focus on a good bottle of wine or two that you have tried recently and enjoyed.
• ‘New World’ wines often offer the best values: Argentina, Australia, California, Canada, Chile, New Zealand, etc.
• For a good dessert wine, try an ice wine.
– “China Daily”

SO WHY DO THEY HAVE A HOLE IN THEIR HEADS?
Dolphins have officially been declared the world’s 2nd-most-intelligent creatures after humans. Results of recent dolphin studies seem to reinforce that idea: their communications are similar to those of humans; they are brighter than chimpanzees; and dolphin brains have many key features associated with high intelligence. They also have distinct personalities, a strong sense of self, and can think about the future. Some scientists maintain they are so bright they should be treated as ‘non-human persons’. (Unless they’re Miami Dolphins.)
– “Sunday Times of London”

THANKS TO iPHONE iREMEMBER:

A new study in mice suggests that using cellphones may help prevent some of the brain-wasting effects of Alzheimer’s disease, according to University of South Florida researchers. After long-term exposure to electromagnetic waves such as those used in cellphones, mice which had been genetically altered to develop Alzheimer’s performed as well on memory and thinking tests as healthy mice. The results are a major surprise and the scientists think they open the possibility of developing a noninvasive, drug-free treatment for Alzheimer’s. (Now if you could just remember where you put your phone …)
– Fox News

PLACES YOU’LL NEVER GO:
A sampling of secret and/or exclusive places you either don’t know about, or simply couldn’t visit even if you tried …
• Area 51: The nickname of a military base located 83 miles (133 km) northwest of Las Vegas whose primary purpose is to develop and test experimental aircraft and weapons systems.
• Club 33: A private club in the heart of the ‘New Orleans Square’ section of Disneyland. Maintained as a secret feature of the theme park, fees for joining range up to $30,000. Even if you fork over the cash, you’re not getting in until at least 2024. There’s a 14-year waiting list.
• Metro-2: A purported secret subway system in Moscow built in the time of Stalin and code-named D-6 by the KGB. It’s said to be even larger than it’s public counterpart but no one will even confirm that it exists.
• Mount Weather Emergency Operations Center – A ‘last hope’ area where US government officials and a chosen few will be housed for the purpose of escaping impending doom. Just like in disaster movies … only real.
• Vatican Secret Archives: Estimated to contain 52 miles (84 km) of shelving, you can view any document you wish but you cannot enter the archive. You must submit your request for a document and wait for it to be supplied to you.
• White’s Gentlemen’s Club: London’s most exclusive English gentlemen’s club, founded in 1693. Women are completely excluded and men are unlikely to be invited unless they are a member of royalty or extremely powerful in politics or the arts.
– Condensed from Listverse.com

COCA-COLA NOT INCLUDED:

London-based designer Daizi Zheng doesn’t think current cellphone batteries are very good because they are expensive, consume valuable resources when manufactured, present a disposal problem, and are harmful to the environment. Zheng’s primary interest is designing everyday objects that bring new experiences to people and make them rethink issues. So to that end she’s come up with a green concept cellphone for Nokia that runs on … Coke. This ‘bio-battery’ has the potential to operate 3-to-4 times longer on a single charge than conventional lithium batteries. (Trouble is, after 4 or 5 months, your phone weighs 40 lbs.)
NET: http://www.daizizheng.com/projects.htm
– Treehugger.com

FOR THE RECORD:
A 50-year-old man from Jerusalem has been granted a divorce for the 11th time, a new Israeli record for Jews, according to a rabbinical court. The man told the court he usually divorces his wives every 2 years … then looks for a new bride immediately afterward.
– BBC News

DID YOU KNOW?

Twitter has banned 370 words that it considers ‘too obvious’ to be used as passwords for the social network. Among them: ‘123456′ and … ‘password’.
– “Social Studies”

BS CHRONOMETER 01.11.10


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1934 [76] Jean Chrétien, Shawinigan QC, Canada’s beloved 20th Prime Minister (1993-2003)

1942 [68] Clarence Clemons, Norfolk VA, classic rock musician (Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band)

1946 [64] Naomi Judd, Ashland KY, country singer (The Judds-“Have Mercy”)/Wynonna’s mommy

1968 [42] Tom Dumont, LA CA, rock guitarist (No Doubt-“It’s My Life”, “Don’t Speak”)

1971 [39] Mary J Blige, Bronx NY, R&B/pop singer (“I Am”, “Be Without You”)

1972 [38] Amanda Peet, NYC, movie actress (“2012”, “The Whole Nine Yards”)/TV actress (“Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip” 2006-07)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .

• “Clean Off Your Desk Day”, an annual workplace event on the 2nd Monday of January. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve found buried on yours?

• “International Thank-Yous Days”, a week-long opportunity to thank someone from your past who did something nice for you. (Or maybe when you force your kids to finally write thank-you notes for holiday season gifts?)

• “Sir John A Macdonald’s Birthday”, celebrating the anniversary of the birth of Canada’s first Prime Minister in 1815. The US gets “Martin Luther King Day” off in January, so why can’t we have this as a holiday?

• “Tattoo Pride Day”. Hey, I’ll show you mine if you show me yours!

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .

1999 [11] “The Daily Show With Jon Stewart” debuts on Comedy Central as Stewart takes over from previous host Craig Kilborn (numerous Emmy Awards since)

2007 [03] JK Rowling completes the 7th and final novel in the ‘Potter’ series, “Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows”

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .

1992 [18] “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana peaks at #6 on the pop singles chart

2000 [10] “Baby One More Time” album by Britney Spears certified for sales of 11 million copies

TODAY’S FIRST . . .

1569 [441] The 1st-ever ‘Lottery’ is staged, in England

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1911 [99] Temp plunges to -61.1 C in Fort Vermilion, the coldest ever recorded in Alberta

AND REMEMBER . . .

[Tues] Pharmacist Day
[Tues] Work Harder Day
[Wed] International Skeptics Day
[Wed] Rubber Duckie Day
[Thurs] “Project Runway 7″ begins (Lifetime)
[Thurs] Dress Up Your Pet Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .

Cuckoo Dancing Week / Home Office Safety & Security Week / Universal Letter Writing Week

BULL’S BITS


BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 16 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS QUOTES FROM THE PERFECT MAN:
• “Oh, go ahead and eat that 3rd piece of chocolate cake. If it’s one thing I hate it’s skinny women.”
• “How about I give you a nice massage and foot rub. I really don’t like sex that much anyway.”
• “Crap, there’s nothing on TV but football playoffs. Let’s go furniture shopping.”
• “You are WAY cuter than she is.”
• “I told the guys today that I was in love. Can we snuggle some more?”
• “You look so hot in those old grandma panties, I’d love to go shoe shopping with you.”
• “Why, I would LOVE to wear a condom!”
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

IT PAYS TO BE IGERNANT:
Listener must answer rapid-fire, and must get all questions WRONG to win. The trick is to answer with something so outrageous, it couldn’t possibly be correct. [The correct answer that CAN NOT be used is in brackets.] It’s way tougher than it seems!
• Two bears, a bison, a camel, a cougar, an elephant, a giraffe, a gorilla, a hippo, a hyena,
a kangaroo, a lion, a monkey, a rhino, a seal, a sheep, a tiger and a zebra can all be found
where? [In a box of Animal Crackers.]
• Where are you most likely to suffer a fatal injury? [At home.]
• Most of us only have 2, but 1-in-18 of us has a 3rd what? [Nipple.]
• Colorado is the only US state to have ever turned this down. [The Olympics. ]
• Which white-collar job has been found to generate the most bacteria on clothing. [Teacher.]

BS RANDOM JOKE:

I have become more optimistic … now I believe that things COULD get worse.

BS PHONE STARTER:

What’s the perfect length for a movie? (“Daybreakers” actor Ethan Hawke contends a lot of today’s movies are at least 20 minutes too long and is urging filmmakers to quit boring audiences. He suggests in “Los Angeles Times” that many directors are simply too arrogant to properly edit their work. By the way, “Daybreakers” runs a crisp 98 minutes.)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Today’s Question: A firefighter invented THIS; nowadays most of us use it once or twice a week, some of us everyday.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Shampoo.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

It’s hard to be graceful getting off your high horse.


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