Monday, January 18, 2010     Edition: #4183
Bully For You!

WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• Conan O’Brien and NBC-TV have reportedly reached a settlement in principle and the big announcement is said to be imminent. The buzz has it Conan is leaving the network and Jay Leno will get the full hour at 11:35 pm which will be called “The Tonight Show” … just like old times. The deal is said to pay O’Brien a hefty ‘parting gift’ in return for him not disparaging the network and agreeing not to accept another hosting job for a specified period of time. (NBC-TV can’t seem to make up its mind so who do you think should host the “Tonight Show”? Conan or Jay … or someone new?)
– TMZ.com
• Tiger Woods has reportedly checked into Pine Grove Behavioral Health & Addiction Services in Hattiesburg, Mississippi to receive treatment for sex addiction. The clinic is said to have one of the top programs in the field, with treatment lasting an average of 6 weeks. So far Pine Grove officials have refused to confirm whether Woods is at the center. He’s not been seen in public since November 27th when he crashed his car outside his home.
– Ananova.com
• This Friday (January 22) a 2-hour telethon called “Hope For Haiti” will air commercial-free on most US networks as well as MTV Networks International, CNN International, and National Geographic channels worldwide. The fundraiser will be anchored by actor George Clooney in LA, with Wyclef Jean in NYC, and CNN’s Anderson Cooper in Haiti. It will feature musical performances and celebrity appearances, reminiscent of the 9/11 telethon in 2001. All proceeds will be split among 5 relief organizations currently operating in Haiti.
– Billboard.com
• “Avatar”, “The Hurt Locker” and “Inglourious Basterds” cleaned up Friday night in Hollywood, scoring a combined 11 prizes at the 15th annual “Critics Choice Movie Awards”. “Avatar” claimed 6 honors, “Inglourious Basterds” picked up 3, and “The Hurt Locker” received 2 of the biggest awards: ‘Best Directing’ and ‘Best Picture’. In a rare shared award, both Sandra Bullock (“The Blind Side”) and Meryl Streep (“Julie & Julia”) were co-named ‘Best Actress’.
– LATimes.com
• British actor Robert Pattinson, who became famous in the “Twilight” films, is reportedly being sought to swing into action as the replacement for Tobey Maguire in “Spider-Man 4”. Columbia Pictures is now planning to make a prequel about ‘Spider-Man’s alter-ego ‘Peter Parker’ as a teenager and Pattinson is said to be the hot favorite to land the role. But it’s not set in stone yet and actor Zac Efron has also let it be known he’d love to play the web-slinger. (New actor or not … isn’t this franchise tired?)
– “Daily Mirror”
• And Hugh Hefner has split from 2 of his girlfriends. The “Playboy” founder’s relationship with Crystal Harris has been ‘getting more serious’ so he’s asked 20-year-old twins Kristina & Karissa Shannon to move out of the Playboy Mansion and into the neighboring Playmate House. Hef says they’ll now be friends but won’t be defined as ‘girlfriends’. (BS translation: 66.6% of his ‘girlfriends’ have finally come to their senses and realized shacking up with a creepy 83-year-old is bad for self-esteem.)
– ContactMusic.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Bonnie Hunt Show” (syndicated/CityTV) – Billy Ray Cyrus (“The Spy Next Door”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Keith Urban (“Defying Gravity”).
• “Jay Leno Show” (NBC/CityTV) – Ringo Starr (“Y Not”) with the Ben Harper band.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Melanie Fiona (“Give It to Me Right”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Weezer (“Raditude”). After breaking 5 ribs in that December bus crash, Rivers Cuomo has now been given a clean bill of health and the band plans to pick up its aborted tour schedule this week in Tallahassee FL.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – The Cribs (“Men’s Needs, Women’s Needs, Whatever”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Charlotte Gainsbourg (“Irm”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Carrie Underwood (“Play On”).
• “24” (FOX/Global) – In Part 2 of the season premiere, ‘Jack’ becomes more involved in preventing the assassination of visiting ‘President Omar Hassan’.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – 63-year-old “American Idol” reject Larry Platt performs “Pants On the Ground”. Get the original performance here …
NET: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMwhl4IrPNc

BS MUSIC NOTES:

• Black Eyed Peas – Last week shooting on their video for the new single “Rock That Body” had to be postponed after they were caught in a sandstorm in the California desert.
• Blink-182 – They’ve released an exclusive Haiti charity T-shirt with all proceeds going to the Red Cross. It’s only available on the band’s official website.
• Coldplay – They’re facing legal action … again. This time from one Sammie Lee Smith who alleges he wrote “Yellow”, “Clocks”, and “Trouble” which he says the band subsequently stole.
• Dixie Chicks – Sisters Emily Robison & Martie Maguire have recorded an album under the name Court Yard Hounds, a reference to the novel “City of Thieves”. It’s scheduled for a May release. Maguire emphasizes in “Rolling Stone” that the Chicks have NOT parted ways.
• Justin Bieber – Today the 15-year-old “My World” singer releases the new single “Baby” on iTunes. The track features a guest appearance by Ludacris.
• Mariah Carey – She’s launching her own brand of bubbly. ‘Angel Champagne by MC’ will hit stores later this year.
• The Killers – Guitarist Dave Keuning has revealed they’ll take a break from recording and touring after playing February’s “Good Vibrations Festival” in Australia. Why? Burn-out.
• Laurel Bell Bundy – The Broadway actress’ debut country single, “Giddy On Up”, premieres today on CMT.
• Rob Zombie – The rocker-turned-horror film director is tackling his first TV directing gig with an episode of “CSI: Miami” which began shooting last week. It’s scheduled to air March 1st.

WHICH WOMEN WANDER:

A new article tracking scientific reasons why women cheat has found a variety of factors that may contribute. Women are most likely to cheat when they’re ovulating, according to a UCLA study. That may be due to the hormone estradiol, an indicator of fertility. Related research shows that tall women cheat more, possibly because testosterone may influence both height and infidelity. And yet another study suggests that very attractive women are also more likely to cheat. (Because … they can.)
– “Psychology Today”

PEOPLE WHO ARE FAMOUS FOR NO REASON:
They have no discernible talent and yet their names have an absurdly disproportional recognition factor …
5. Nicole Richie.
4. Anyone named Kardashian.
3. Tila Tequila.
2. Paris Hilton.
1. Kelly Osbourne.
– Condensed from StarPulse.com

TEST DRIVE YOUR BOOBS:

Women who want augmented breasts can now ‘try on’ a new pair before going under the knife. First you choose the shape, size, and feel from a range of 500 styles. Then you wear made-to-measure implants in a special vest to make sure they’re a perfect fit and you feel comfortable with them. For the first time women can see – and feel – what they’ll look like after surgery. So far, this ‘Biodynamics Breast Analysis’ service is only offered by a select number of cosmetic surgeons in the UK. (Get the same effect by stuffing Kleenex in your bra.)
– FoxNews.com

FOODS THAT IMPROVE MOOD:

Our smell receptors are connected to the limbic system in the brain, which is connected to our emotions and even our long-term memories. Experts say that’s why these food scents have the power to elevate feelings of well-being …
• Cinnamon/Peppermint – These scents decrease fatigue, stimulate the central nervous system, and enhance motivation. Try peppermint tea or hot chocolate sprinkled with cinnamon.
• Citrus – Orange, lemon, and grapefruit scents directly affect the brain’s neurotransmitters, alleviate stress, and have an anti-depressant effect. Lemon is proven to be the most potent.
• Coffee – Scientists have found that the scent of roasted coffee beans not only reduces stress brought on by sleep deprivation, but also acts as a potential antioxidant.
• Ginger – Research shows that ginger can reduce depression and anxiety. As well as being useful in recipes, you can slice fresh ginger and put it in your bathtub as it fills.
• Vanilla – Whether it’s in latte, tea, or ice cream, this aroma is proven to trigger happy, relaxed, and even sensuous feelings.
– Excerpted from BestHealthMag.com

PARENTING IS GOOD FOR YOU:

They may cause sleepless nights and a host of worries about money, health, and school but raising children can actually lower your blood pressure, a new Brigham Young University study suggests. The research seems to show that parenthood gives people ‘a sense of purpose and meaning’ which helps to reduce stress and put the hassles of life into perspective. The effect proves to be stronger among moms than dads (who’d just like some peace and quiet, dammit!).
– DailyMail.co.uk

FOR THE RECORD:

34-year-old Glyn Stott of Merthyr Tydfil, Wales hopes to be entered in the “Guinness Book of World Records” for watching all 451 episodes from 20 seasons of “The Simpsons” back-to-back, without resting. His 6-day feat is being overseen by officials to ensure he does not fall asleep. He’s allowed to use an exercise bike to keep his circulation going and gets a 20-minute break at the end of every 3 episodes. To aid the cause, FOX-TV has forwarded every episode on DVD. (Turning yourself into a blithering, slobbering idiot seems a high price to pay for a Guinness entry.)
– Current.com

DID YOU KNOW?

South Korea has the fastest broadband in the world, recording a 14.6 megabits per second average speed. That’s far ahead of runner-up, Japan, with an average speed of 7.9 mbps, according to a new report from the Organization of Economic Co-operation & Development. Other countries lag way behind. (The average speed in Kiribati, for instance, is … next Thursday.)
– Telegraph.co.uk

BS CHRONOMETER 01.18.10


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1955 [55] Kevin Costner, Lynwood CA, movie actor (“The Guardian”, “Field of Dreams”)/movie director (1991 Oscar-“Dances With Wolves”)

1969 [41] Jesse L Martin, Rocky Mountain VA, TV actor (“The Philanthropist” 2009, “Law & Order” 1999-2008)/movie actor (“Rent”)

1971 [39] Jonathan Davis, Bakersfield CA, rock singer/drummer/bagpiper (Korn-“Evolution”, “Twisted Transistor”)

1980 [30] Jason Segal, LA CA, TV actor (‘Marshall Eriksen’ on “How I Met Your Mother” since 2005)/movie actor (“I Love You, Man” , “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Cut Yourself Some Slack Day”, a day to ‘do unto ourselves what we would have others do unto us.’ Hey masochist, give yourself a break!

• “Martin Luther King Day” in America, observed annually since 1986 on the 3rd Monday of January to mark the January 15 birth date of slain civil rights leader Dr Martin Luther King Jr (1929-1968). It is one of 4 US federal holidays that commemorate an individual person.

• “Thesaurus Day”, celebrating the birthday of the author of “Roget’s Thesaurus”. Peter Roget was born on this day in 1779. Say, what’s another word for thesaurus anyway?

• “Winnie the Pooh Day”, honoring the birthday of “Winnie-the-Pooh” author AA Milne (1882-1956) in London UK. Disney says thanks for the profits, dude.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .

2000 [10] 38-year-old TV actor Michael J Fox announces he’s leaving TV comedy “Spin City” to fight Parkinson’s disease

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .

1996 [14] Lisa Marie Presley files for divorce from Michael Jackson

TODAY’S FIRST . . .

1917 [93] Income Tax is introduced in Canada as a ‘temporary measure’ to help war effort

TODAY’S RECORD . . .

1997 [13] Norwegian Borge Ousland crosses Antarctica, all 1,675 miles … alone! (so how do we know he really did it?)

COMING UP . . .

[Tues] Rid the World of Fad Diets & Gimmicks Day
[Wed] Camcorder Day
[Thurs] Sundance Film Festival begins
[Thurs] Hugging Day
[Thurs] Women in Blue Jeans Day
[Thurs] Women’s Healthy Weight Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .

Activity Professional Week / Fresh Squeezed Juice Week / Handwriting Analysis Week / Healthy Weight Week / Hunt For Happiness Week / International Printing Week / No Name-Calling Week

BULL’S BITS


BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 16 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS EUPHEMISMS FOR ‘BREAKING WIND’:
• Testing in the Levi wind tunnel.
• Answering the call of the wild burrito.
• A ridge of high pressure ushering in a warm front.
• Entering the sphincter chat room.
• Singing like Celine.
• Having a methane moment.
• Steam-pressing the Calvins.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Hey, don’t feel bad. Remember, mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.

BS FINISH LINES:

Have a contestant (kids work great!) try to complete the following famous proverbs …
• “A closed mouth catches … [... no flies.”]
• “Better the devil you know than … [... the devil you don't know.”]
• “April showers bring … [... May flowers.”]
• “Curiosity killed … [... the cat.”]
• “All is well that … [... ends well.”]
• “Every cloud has … [... a silver lining.”]
• “As you sow, so shall you … [... reap.”]
• “Make hay while … [... the sun shines.”]
• “A penny saved is … [... a penny earned.”]
• “A bird in hand is worth … [... two in the bush.”]

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Since 1980, more than 2.5 million pieces of THIS have been sold.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: The Moon. (AskMen.com)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

There’s nothing new in originality.


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