Friday, January 29, 2010        Edition: #4192
Monthly Planning Calendar in Today’s BS!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Tonight Tiger Woods’ #1 mistress, Rachel Uchitel, celebrates her 35th birthday at the 251 PB nightclub in Palm Beach FL, where she’s being billed as a ‘Celebrity Socialite’ (sounds better than ‘Tramp’) . . . “Ugly Betty” has been cancelled, ABC-TV announcing the current 4th season will be the last for the staff at ‘Mode’ magazine (this is unbelievable – that’s still on?) . . . Actress Brittany Murphy’s widower, screenwriter Simon Monjack, is suing Warner Bros over her tragic death, claiming the studio was to blame for her death because 2 weeks previously it fired her from the sequel to the animated comedy “Happy Feet” (she died of unemployment?) . . . 25-year-old pseudo-singer-turned-part-time actress Ashlee Simpson-Wentz says she’s planning a ‘career break’ after she finishes her stint in the Broadway musical “Chicago” next month, so she can concentrate on looking after her 1-year-old son (uh, what career?) . . . Jada Pinkett Smith claims her 41-year-old actor-husband Will Smith is seriously considering swapping the bigscreen for politics (“Mr Smith Goes to Washington”?) . . . The album from last weekend’s “Hope for Haiti Now” all-star benefit has debuted at #1 on “Billboard’s” all-genre album chart . . . And 49-year-old former movie tough-guy Jean-Claude Van Damme (“Universal Soldier”), who’s agreed to step into the ring for a bout with Thai kickboxer Somluck Kamsing on a new reality TV show, admits it’s kind of dangerous but says ‘life is short’ (BS translation: I’m really broke).

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Grammy Awards” (CBS/Global) – Sunday the 52nd annual music awards from the Recording Academy are handed out at the Staples Center in LA. Beyoncé leads nominations with 10, followed by Taylor Swift with 8. Performers include Beyoncé, Black Eyed Peas, Dave Matthews Band, Green Day, Lady Antebellum, Lady Gaga, Maxwell, Pink, Taylor Swift, and the Zac Brown Band. ‘Lifetime Achievement’ honorees include Bobby Darin, Leonard Cohen, Loretta Lynn, and Michael Jackson (subject of a tribute to be broadcast in 3-D).
• “Hockey Day in Canada” (CBC) – Saturday Stratford ON hosts the 10th annual puckfest that includes a celebration of the national sport and 3 NHL games involving all 6 Canadian teams.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight John Mayer (“Battle Studies”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Phoenix (“Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Tonight Corinne Bailey Rae (“The Sea”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Ke$ha (“Animal”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Tonight Julian Casablancas (“Phrazes For the Young”).
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Jon Hamm (“Mad Men”) hosts; musical guest Michael Buble (“Crazy Love”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:

• Dixie Chicks – Natalie Maines’ husband, “Heroes” TV actor Adrian Pasdar, has been arrested in LA on suspicion of drunk driving. His truck was pulled over after it was spotted swerving between lanes on a freeway … at 94 mph.
• Ke$ha – The 22-year-old says she’s ‘kind of living nowhere right now’. She currently doesn’t have a house but is looking for one. She says her temporary residence is her gold Trans Am, the same one that appears in the “TiK ToK” music video.
• Lady Gaga – Word has it talks are being held to determine what kind of role she could have on the upcoming US version of “X Factor”. Producer/judge Simon Cowell is said to be intrigued by the idea. She sang in a giant bathtub on the UK version of the show last year.
• Neil Young – Tonight the 63-year-old rocker is celebrated as the ‘2010 Musicares Person Of the Year’ for his ‘standard of artistic integrity and iconoclastic creativity for more than 4 decades’. The 20th annual Grammy weekend salute includes a dinner & concert in Los Angeles.
• Robbie Williams – The 35-year-old fading British pop star is rumored to be rejoining Take That, the group he quit in 1995. This week they spent 5 hours in an LA studio recording material. (At this point in their careers, they need each other again.)
• Roy Orbison – Today the late 1960s singer (“Only the Lonely”, “Oh Pretty Woman”) is honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame during an unveiling ceremony. In addition to his solo career, he spent part of the ’80s as a member of the Traveling Wilburys (“Handle With Care”).

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Edge of Darkness” ( R-Rated Thriller ): Mel Gibson plays a homicide detective who, while investigating the death of his activist daughter, uncovers a corporate cover-up with government connections. Co-stars Ray Winstone (“Indiana Jones & The Kingdom Of the Crystal Skull”), Danny Huston (“Wolverine”).
NET: http://edge-of-darkness.warnerbros.com
• “When in Rome” ( PG-13 Romantic Comedy ): Kristen Bell plays an unlucky-at-love New Yorker who is aggressively pursued by a band of suitors after stealing coins from a reputed fountain of love during a whirlwind trip to Rome. Co-stars Josh Duhamel (“Transformers: Revenge Of the Fallen”).
NET: http://touchstone.movies.go.com/wheninrome

HOW TO STOP SNORING:
Loud snoring may be a sign of sleep apnea, a disorder that causes breathing to stop or become shallow while sleeping. Here’s how to stop snoring and breathe easier …
• Avoid alcohol, sedatives, sleeping pills, and any medication that relaxes the central nervous system, making it more difficult to keep your throat open while sleeping.
• Work with your doctor on a weight-loss plan if you are overweight. Even a small drop in weight can improve your symptoms.
• Quit smoking. If you have sleep apnea, your body is hungry for oxygen and smoking reduces the amount of oxygen available.
• Sleep on your side. You’re more likely to snore loudly when you sleep on your back.
• See a sleep specialist, who can observe and evaluate your sleep and help you find the best solution for your problem.
– Excerpted from BestHealthMag.ca

MOST ICONIC KISSES OF THE 2000s:
According to a newly-released ranking …
3. Heath Ledger & Jake Gyllenhaal, “Brokeback Mountain” 2005.
2. Tobey Maguire & Kirsten Dunst, “Spider-Man” 2002.
1. Madonna & Britney Spears, “MTV Video Music Awards” 2003. (How come everyone seems to forget Christina Aguilera was also part of this ’big moment’?)
– ContactMusic.com

GOLF GREENER:

It’s estimated it takes 100-to-1,000 years for a golf ball to decompose naturally. But now Spanish manufacturer Albus Golf has come up with the ‘Ecobioball’, a biodegradable golf ball that not only dissolves in water … it’s made of fish food! The ball’s outer layer is a recyclable plastic polymer which degrades completely within 48 hours to reveal a dense inner ball of fish food. On the downside: The ball is single-use only and slightly lighter than a regular ball, meaning it doesn’t travel as far. (It will also put ‘hazard divers’ out of work … those entrepreneurial young guys who lurk around golf courses wearing scuba masks.)
– “Globe & Mail”

WHAT TO DO IF YOUR ACCELERATOR STICKS:

(Say you were driving a Toyota, for instance …)
• First brake hard. Don’t pump the brakes. Press firmly and steadily.
• Put the car in neutral.
• The engine may keep revving loudly while you try to stop but don’t turn it off if you can avoid it. Turning off the engine means you lose power-assisted steering and brakes, and if you turn the key too far, you could lock the steering wheel.
• When you finally come to a stop, then turn off the engine.
– “Consumer Reports”

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Today a half-smoked cigar British Prime Minister Winston Churchill put down before a Cabinet meeting in 1941 is up for auction in Norfolk, England. The 4-inch cigar butt is expected to go for about $500.
– “Daily Mail”
• The newly-published book “Why He Is a Saint: The True Story of John Paul II” says the former pope used to beat himself with a belt and sleep naked on the floor in order to become more holy. Furthermore, a particular belt was used for the self-flagellation, which traveled with the pope to his Summer residence.
– CNN.com

BS CHRONOMETER 01.29.10


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [65] Tom Selleck, Detroit MI, TV actor (“Las Vegas” 2007-08, “Magnum PI” 1980-88)/movie actor (“Three Men & a Baby”)

1954 [56] Oprah Winfrey, Kosciusko MS, 1st woman to own & produce her own TV talk show (“Oprah” 1986-2011)/movie producer & actress (“Precious”, “Beloved”)/magazine publisher (“O”)/philanthropist (Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls, South Africa)

1968 [42] Ed Burns, Queens NY, movie actor (“27 Dresses”, “Saving Private Ryan”)/movie producer/director (“Purple Violets”, “She’s the One”)

1970 [40] Heather Graham, Milwaukee WI, movie actress (“The Hangover”, “Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me”)

1975 [35] Sara Gilbert, Santa Monica CA, TV actress (“The Big Bang Theory” since 2007, “The Class” 2006-07, “ER” 2004-07, “Roseanne” 1988-97)/half-sister of actress Melissa Gilbert

1982 [28] Adam Lambert, Indianapolis IN, pop singer (“For Your Entertainment”, 2009 “American Idol” runner-up)

SATURDAY –
Movie actor Gene Hackman (“The French Connection”) is 80; Movie actress Vanessa Redgrave (“Atonement”) is 73; Classic rocker Phil Collins (Genesis) is 59; Movie actor Christian Bale (“The Dark Night”) is 36.

SUNDAY –
Rock guitarist Jeff Hanneman (Slayer) is 46; TV actress Portia de Rossi (“Better Off Ted”) is 37; Pop singer Justin Timberlake (“SexyBack”) is 29.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .

• “Carnaval de Québec”, the 56th edition of Canada’s largest outdoor winter carnival through February 14th includes night parades, concerts & snow sculptures. The official drink is a ‘Caribou’ (brandy, vodka, sherry & port). The mascot is snowman ‘Bonhomme Carnaval’.
NET: http://www.carnaval.qc.ca/en
• “Corn Chip Day”. Ask listeners to put a half-dozen in their mouths and whistle a tune.
• “Free Thinker’s Day”, celebrating the fact that everyone has the right to agree with what you think.
• “Puzzle Day”, celebrating one of our all-time favorite pastimes. What’s your favorite: Jigsaw or Crossword?
• “World Leprosy Day”, an annual observance on the last Sunday of January to increase public awareness about leprosy and to further leprosy eradication. (It’s not just biblical!)
NET: http://bit.ly/cwxVzo

SATURDAY –
• “Croissant Day”, the first step of which is being able to say the French-derived word ‘croissant’. It’s not ‘CROY-sent’, it’s ‘cwah-SAHN’ … ya rube.
• “Inane Answering Message Day”, a time to change, shorten, replace, or delete that annoying voice-mail message … which you likely recorded on Day One and then never altered.
• “Wolf Moon”, the Full Moon of January, sometimes referred to as the ‘Old Moon’, or the ‘Moon After Yule’.
• “World Law Day”, established in 1922 to celebrate the rules society lives by.
NET: http://www.dumblaws.com
• “Yodel for Your Neighbors Day”, a day to add some frivolity to your neighborhood by warming up the ol’ vocal cords … outdoors. (Followed by ‘Getting Tomato-ed by Your Neighbors Day’.)

SUNDAY –
• “Backwards Day”, a day to relieve the winter blahs by doing everything backwards, ie: calling people by their last name, eating meals in reverse, signing off your show at the beginning, etc.
• “Play an Old Game You Haven’t Played in Years Night”. Maybe Yahztee, Scrabble, Monopoly, Canasta, Hungry Hippo … Strip Poker?

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1959 [51] Disney classic “Sleeping Beauty” is released in theaters … to mixed reviews

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1998 [12] Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” is released, which goes on to top charts across the world and become her (annoying) signature song

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1963 [47] 1st members of NFL Hall of Fame announced in Canton OH (Jim Thorpe, Red Grange, and George Halas)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1995 [15] 1st NFL team to win 5 Super Bowls (San Francisco 49ers defeat San Diego Chargers 49-26)

BS MONTHLY PLANNING CALENDAR . . .

[Feb 1] GI Joe Day / Give Kids A Smile Day / Spunky Old Broads Day / Working Naked Day
[Feb 2] “Lost” final season debut (ABC/CTV) / Groundhog Day / Academy Awards nominations announced (LA) / Candlemas / Job Shadow Day / Sled Dog Day
[Feb 3] Girls & Women in Sports Day
[Feb 4] Black Eyed Peas “The END World Tour 2010″ North American leg begins (Atlanta) / World Cancer Day
[Feb 5] “Dear John”; “From Paris With Love” open in movie theaters / Weatherpersons Day / Wear Red Day / World Nutella Day / Bubble Gum Day
[Feb 6] Dump Your Significant Jerk Day
[Feb 7] Super Bowl XLIV (Miami) / Ballet Day / Man Day / Wave All Your Fingers At Your Neighbor’s Day
[Feb 8] Laugh & Get Rich Day
[Feb 9] Read In the Bathtub Day
[Feb 11] Tim McGraw’s “Southern Voice Tour 2010″ begins (Omaha) / Pro Sports Wives Day / Shut-in Visitation Day / Satisfied Staying Single Day
[Feb 12] XXI Olympic Winter Games open (Vancouver) / “Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief”; “Valentine’s Day”; “The Wolfman” open in movie theaters / Darwin Day / Safety Pup Day
[Feb 13] Employee Legal Awareness Day / Get a Different Name Day
[Feb 14] Valentines Day / Chinese New Year / World Marriage Day / Daytona 500 (FL) / Ferris Wheel Day / Library Lovers Day / Condom Day / Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Day / Women’s Heart Day / Call In Single Day / Quirky Alone Day
[Feb 15] Family Day (AB, ON, SK) / Louis Riel Day (MB) / Presidents Day (USA) / Shrove Monday / Gum Drop Day
[Feb 16] Pancake Day / Mardi Gras / Shrove Tuesday / BRIT Awards (London) / Plastic Ono Band concert (NYC)
[Feb 17] Ash Wednesday / PTA Founders Day / World Human Spirit Day
[Feb 18] Battery Day / Introduce A Girl to Engineering Day
[Feb 19] “Shutter Island” opens in movie theaters / Chocolate Mint Day
[Feb 20] Love Your Pet Day / Northern Hemisphere Hoodie Hoo Day / World Day for Social Justice / Clam Chowder Day
[Feb 21] BAFTA Awards (London)
[Feb 22] Single Tasking Day
[Feb 23] Curling is Cool Day
[Feb 24] Inconvenience Yourself Day
[Feb 25] Chili Day / Ta’Anit Ester (Jewish)
[Feb 26] “Cop Out”; “The Crazies” open in movie theaters / Muhammad’s Birthday (Muslim) / For Pete’s Sake Day / Levi Strauss Day / Personal Chefs Day
[Feb 27] Muse-Silversun Pickups North American tour begins (Atlanta) / Open That Bottle Night
[Feb 28] XXI Olympic Winter Games close (Vancouver) / Chinese Lantern Festival / Full ‘Snow’ Moon / Floral Design Day / International Sword Swallowers Day / Tooth Fairy Day / Purim (Jewish) / Perigean Spring Tide
[Mar 1] “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” returns (NBC)
[Mar 2] 2010 Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo begins
[Mar 5] Norah Jones’ “The Fall Tour” begins (Tulsa OK)
[Mar 7] 82nd Academy Awards

BULL’S BITS


BENEFITS NOT PROVIDED BY ‘FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS’:
• Medical/Dental.
• Company Car.
• Pension Plan.
• Stock Options.
• Gym Discounts.
• Vacation Pay.
• Maternity Leave.
• Somebody making soup for you when you have the flu.
– Condensed from McSweeneys.net

BS RANDOM JOKE:

That must be wonderful! I don’t understand it at all.

BS PHONE STARTER:
Are sports all-star games a waste of time?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Guys, if your love life is hurting, you stand a better chance of impressing women and getting a date if you get yourself one of THESE.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A cat.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Peace starts with a smile.


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