Tuesday, January 29, 2008        Edition: #3699
Thanks For Being a Bull Market!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT, for the first time ever, “American Idol” auditions move into Omaha NE (FOX/CTV), the city that gave us … er, well, er (hey, they must have been saving up!) . . . Word has it 51-year-old magician David Copperfield has secretly fathered 2 children with stunning 25-year-old Czech model Marie Petlickova, and keeps them housed in a $1.5 million mansion in Las Vegas (this is in addition to the 21-year-old model who’s accused him of assault in a yet-unresolved court case) . . . Word has it Kaballah’s golden couple in Hollywood, Ashton Kutcher & Demi Moore, have fallen off the once trendy religion’s radar, missing weekly services for months and the regular Shabbat dinners afterward (seems they finally got with de-program) . . . Disney’s mega-hit “High School Musical” franchise is being transformed into a stage show to debut in London’s West End this JUNE (because there still might be someone somewhere who’s yet to be exposed) . . . A Chinese company is using soccer star David Beckham’s name to promote its condoms – without his permission ([co-host] tried one and all he could see of the logo was ‘D-A-V’) . . . Media mogul Rupert Murdoch’s 3rd wife Wendy Deng has recruited her hubby & U2′s Bono to serve as waiters at her female empowerment dinner at the World Economic Forum now underway in Davos, Switzerland (how do you tip a guy like Murdoch?) . . . Britney Spears on-and-off paparazzo-boyfriend Adnan Ghalib is attempting to peddle 6 video diaries he’s shot of her, mostly her sitting on a bed blabbing to the camera, for $2 million (yeah, must be love!) . . . And 39-year-old Vancouver-born horror film actress Debbie Rochon, who’s made well over a hundred fright flicks (“Bikini Bloodbath“, “Night of the Living Dead”), recently announced she’s undergoing surgery to remove a brain tumor and was shocked to receive dozens of fan requests for the cancerous growth as a souvenir – so she’s decided to give them what they want (pity the courier who ends up with THAT delivery!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Beatles – Israel has decided to officially apologize, 43 years after banning them from playing there. Paul McCartney & Ringo Starr have been asked to visit this MAY as part of the country’s 60th anniversary celebrations.
• Big & Rich – It’s been confirmed that John Rich will release a solo album later THIS YEAR but  there’s no official release date yet. The first single is tentatively scheduled for Summer.
• Britney Spears – Her album “Blackout” has been named 2007′s ‘International Album of the Year’ at the “NRJ Music Awards” in Cannes, France.
• Dixie Chicks – 38-year-old Martie Maguire has confirmed she’s expecting a baby girl with hubby Gareth Maguire, their 3rd child together.
• Gnarls Barkley – Their sophomore album, “Atlantis”, is nearing completion, but there’s no title or release date yet. If it features another single the likes of “Crazy” they can retire.
• Ludacris – 3 music producers known as the Boogiii Men Entertainment Group are suing him over claims he stole one of their tracks and used it on his album, “The Red Light District”.
• New Kids On the Block – Donnie Wahlberg, Joey McIntyre, Jordan Knight, Jon Knight & Danny Wood are reportedly set to announce a comeback to coincide with the 20th anniversary of their hit, “Hangin’ Tough”, which went 8-times platinum and sold 20 million copies worldwide. The reunion we don’t need?

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Bordertown” ( Crime Thriller ): Jennifer Lopez plays a journalist investigating a series of murders near American-owned factories on the border between Juarez, Mexico and El Paso, Texas. Antonio Banderas co-stars in this J-Lo production..
• “The Comebacks” ( Sports Comedy ): In this spoof of inspirational sports movies, a football coach with one of the worst records ever is lured out of retirement to helm a team of degenerates. Stars David Koechner (“Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy”).
• “Daddy Day Camp” ( Comedy ): Cuba Gooding Jr replaces Eddie Murphy in this sequel to 2003′s “Daddy Day Care”. When his own son wants to attend a camp run by a rival, he and a partner decide to get into the summer camp biz themselves.
• “Feel the Noise” ( Drama ): Omarion Grandberry (ex-B2K) plays a South Bronx kid who wants to become a hip-hop star, but a run-in with local thugs forces him to hide out in Puerto Rico with his estranged father. Another J-Lo production, originally titled “Reggaeton”.
• “The Invasion” ( Sci-Fi Thriller ): In this 4th movie based on Jack Finney’s novel, “The Body Snatchers“, Nicole Kidman stars as a Washington DC psychiatrist who discovers a mysterious epidemic that alters the behavior of human beings. Co-stars Daniel Craig (“Casino Royale”).
• Also released TODAY: “Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Volume 5”; “Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Complete 6th Season”; “Groundhog Day: Special 15th Anniversary Edition”; “Hannah Montana: One in a Million”; “JAG: The 5th Season”; and “Monty Python’s Life of Brian (The Immaculate Edition)”.

GET YOUR EX BACK FOR $6,500 A MONTH:
A private detective agency in Japan called ‘Ladies Secret Service’ specializes in rekindling romance between old flames … for a hefty fee. The agency employs around 300 operatives who befriend their clients’ targets and attempt to convince them that breaking up with their ex- was a mistake. LAST YEAR it handled more than 800 cases, around 70% of whom were women trying to win back their men. (There are a lot of people who’d pay to FORGET they ever met an ex.)
– “The Guardian”

MOVIE SEQUELS THAT WERE BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL:
These follow-up films actually improved on their originals, according to one online ranking …
5. “The Empire Strikes Back” (1980)
4. “Terminator II: Judgement Day” (1991)
3. “Dawn of the Dead” (1978)
2. “Aliens” (1986)
1. “The Godfather II” (1974)
– HecklerSpray.com

ANOTHER WARMING WARNING:
A study by the Flinders Institute for Atmospheric & Marine Sciences in Adelaide, Australia says the Northern Hemisphere is warmer on weekdays than weekends because of industry and commuting. The average temperature difference is about … one-thirtieth of a degree. (Geez, turn the furnace down!)
– “Herald Tribune”

ONLINE SHOPPING STATS:
Perhaps surprisingly, books are the most popular item to buy online, according to new research. That’s because of a booming demand in emerging markets such as Vietnam and India. Worldwide 40% of e-shoppers have bought books in the last 3 months. 36% have bought clothing, accessories or shoes; 24% have bought plane tickets; and just 19% have downloaded music. (That they paid for, that is.)
– “GQ”

SURVEYING THE LAND:
• According to “Woman” magazine, 1 in 7 men like to try on their girlfriend’s underwear. (But on their head … so its not that weird.)
• A “Mademoiselle” magazine survey finds that women under 30 date an average of 12 different guys before they find a ‘keeper’. (Does that mean they throw the rest back?)
• According to an article in “Glamour” magazine, 65% of men say they could pick their ‘equipment’ out of a line-up. (“Uh number 3, we’re having trouble making an ID … can you stand up straight please?”)

DON’T SKIP THE SKIPPY:
A University of Florida study suggests that peanuts, long considered high in fat and best avoided, can rival fruit as a healthy snack. Researchers have found that peanuts are right up there with strawberries when it comes to antioxidant content. Antioxidants protect key cell components by neutralizing the damaging effects of ‘free radicals’. (Is that like Michael Moore?)
– “Daily Mail”

HOW TO WRITE YOUR NAME IN THE SNOW:
Inventor George Marhelko of Nuremberg PA has patented the ‘Snow-Coloring Device’, which includes a pressurized canister, a food dye container and a hose that can be used to decorate a snowdrift. ([Co-host] perfected something to this effect years ago after 8 hours in the bar at [ski resort].)
– UPI

BS LAW & DISORDER:
• In Sweden, police are on the lookout for a team of thieves who hide midget friends inside hockey bags, then place them in the cargo hold of buses where they to steal the loot from luggage while in transit. How the heck do they survive? Have you ever gotten a whiff of the inside of a hockey bag?
• In Whitehorse, Yukon an accused drunk driver has managed to overturn the evidence of his positive Breathalyzer test by claiming … he’s too cheap to buy enough booze to get drunk. The judge has ruled that’s enough reasonable doubt to quash all charges.
• In Trinidad, a man has been sentenced to a year-and-a-half of hard labor after throwing a few paper bags at a judge containing … his own feces. After being given a good beating by the court security guards, the culprit explained, “I am ignorant and stupid, my nerves bother me plus I do not like the justice system in Trinidad.” The judge apparently had enough of his crap.
• In London UK, the Arriva Bus Co has issued an official apology to a girl who was booted off one of its vehicles in order to avoid a lawsuit. The 19-year-old, who says she is the ‘pet’ of her 25-year-old fiancé, was tossed off because her boyfriend leads her around on a leash. The driver reportedly told her, “We don’t let freaks and dogs like you on.”
• In Gatineau, Québec a tribunal has upheld a hospital’s decision to fire an operating room nurse back in 2005 because … she weighed over 300 lbs and sweat all over, creating a risk of infection. The arbitrator agreed with the hospital’s lawyer, who argued that an operating room needs to be a sterile environment without bacteria. Her union has 30 days to appeal.

BS AMAZING FACT:
It takes about 10 billion snowflakes to make a snowman.

BS CHRONOMETER 01.29.08

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [63] Tom Selleck, Detroit MI, TV actor (‘AJ Cooper ‘ on “Las Vegas” since 2007, “Magnum PI” 1980-88)/movie actor (“Three Men & a Baby”)

1954 [54] Oprah Winfrey, Kosciusko MS, 1st woman to own & produce her own TV talk show (“Oprah” since 1986)/movie producer & actress (“Beloved”)/magazine publisher (“O”)/philanthropist (Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls, South Africa)

1968 [40] Ed Burns, Woodside NY, movie actor (“27 Dresses”, “Saving Private Ryan”)/movie producer/director (“Purple Violets”, “She’s the One”)

1970 [38] Heather Graham, Milwaukee WI, movie actress (“Bobby”, “Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me”)

1975 [33] Sara Gilbert (Abeles), Santa Monica CA, TV actress (“The Class” 2006-07, “ER” 2004-07, “Roseanne” 1988-97)/half-sister of actress Melissa Gilbert

1985 [23] Athina Onassis Roussel, Neuilly-sur-Seine, France, stinking rich heiress (daughter of Christina & Thierry Roussel) who at 21 became CEO of the multi-billion-dollar Onassis Foundation

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Corn Chip Day”. Ask listeners to put 10 of them in their mouths and whistle a tune.

• “Free Thinker’s Day”, celebrating the fact that everyone has the right to agree with what you think.

• “Puzzle Day”, celebrating one of our favorite pastimes. What’s your fave: Jigsaw or Crossword?

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1959 [49] Disney classic “Sleeping Beauty” is released in theaters … to mixed reviews

2006 [02] News anchor Bob Woodruff (“ABC Evening News”) & his Canadian cameraman Doug Vogt are seriously injured by a roadside bomb in Iraq

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1996 [12] Garth Brooks refuses the “American Music Award” for ‘Favorite Overall Artist’ claiming Hootie & the Blowfish kept music alive in ’95

1998 [10] Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” is released, which goes on to top charts across the world and become her signature song

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1796 [212] Toronto’s main drag, Yonge Street, takes its name from Britain’s Minister of War, Sir George Yonge

1963 [45] 1st members of NFL Hall of Fame announced in Canton OH (Jim Thorpe, Red Grange, and George Halas)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1995 [13] 1st NFL team to win 5 Super Bowls (San Francisco 49ers defeat San Diego Chargers 49-26)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] International Delete Your MySpace Page Day
[Thurs] “Lost” 4th season premiere (ABC)
[Thurs] Backwards Day
[Thurs] Beloved Wives Day (Japan)
[Fri] Wear Red Day (Women’s Heart Health Day)
[Fri] “Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds”; “The Eye”; “Over Her Dead Body”; “Strange Wilderness“ open in movie theaters
This Week Is … Catholic Schools Week
This Month Is …  International Coffee Gourmet Month

BULL’S BITS    

BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 15 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues ….
REASONS IT’S REALLY COOL TO BE A SINGLE WOMAN:
• No in-laws.
• When the phone rings, you know it’s for you.
• There may be toe-nail clippings in the bed … but at least they’re yours.
• You can leave crappy parties when YOU want to.
• When you wake up in the morning with a clammy tongue in your mouth, you know it’s your own.
• You never have to take out a newspaper ad on Valentine’s Day that says: ‘Snooky-pie loves Snuggly-bum’.
• You get great sex.

BS PHONE STARTER:
Should you get a day off work to get over a breakup? (Japanese marketing firm Hime & Co says yes. It offers employees age 24-and-under 1 day off to recover from a relationship bust-up; 25-to-29 year-olds can take 2; and older staff get up to 3. Unbelievably, the progressive company also allows bargain-hunting staff 2 mornings off a year for … ‘Sales Shopping Leave’.)

BS WEB GOODIE:
“Stalin World” is the world’s only theme park where you can be interrogated by KGB:
NET: http://www.grutoparkas.lt/index-en.htm

BS RANDOM JOKE:
• Some movie theaters have posted warnings that watching the movie “Cloverfield” could make patrons nauseous. They’re the same warnings posted outside “Last Call With Carson Daly”.
• They’re in the Super Bowl … you really have to hand it to the NY Giants. I believe that was the Green Bay Packers’ strategy.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Over the past 10 years, there has been a 40% increase in the number of adults doing THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Getting braces on their teeth.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A hundred dollars used to be a lot of money. Now it’s just 5 twenties.


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