Friday, January 30, 2009       Edition #3949
Monthly Planning Calendar in Today’s Edition!

On the cover of the new “OK Magazine”, Tom Cruise is pictured with his hand gently placed on wife Katie Holmes’ baby basket, a gesture the mag says is a clear sign there’s another junior Scientologist on the way (maybe he was just helping her with indigestion) . . . The rumor mill is now buzzing that movie star Joaquin Phoenix’s retirement from acting and newfound career as a rapper is all part of an elaborate hoax, despite denials from his publicist (or perhaps elaborate drug use) . . . Activision’s “Guitar Hero: World Tour” has outsold rival “Rock Band 2“ from MTV by a ratio of almost 2-to-1, according to new data from NPD Group . . . Although Disney has abandoned plans to produce the 3rd installment of “The Chronicles Of Narnia” after a ‘disappointing showing’ from the last film, “Prince Caspian”, Fox 2000 studio has picked up “The Voyage Of the Dawn Treader” for release in 2010 (‘disappointing’ apparently means a paltry $420-million gross on a $200-million investment) . . . Britain’s BBC is reducing payroll to reflect the pressures of the economic turndown and Radio 1 morning host Chris Moyles will reportedly take a pay cut of – whoa! – £158,000 ($275,000) in annual salary (are you feeling underpaid all of a sudden?) . . . Soon-to-be-40 actress Jennifer Aniston complains to MTV News that the endless media reports about her dates have ruined her love-life (you can fly under the radar but you have to want to, hon’) . . . An actual mother is set to be revealed on “How I Met Your Mother” (CBS) but not the one you think – it’s actress Frances Conroy (“Six Feet Under”) who’ll be introduced to play mom to ‘Barney’ . . . And “How I Met Your Mother” star Neil Patrick Harris was left red-faced at a Television Academy event in Hollywood this week after taking a restroom break during a Q&A session but leaving his portable microphone on, to the total embarrassment of the audience (what a pro!).

• Annie Awards – Tonight the 36th annual awards for animation in movies, TV, advertising, and videogames are handed out in LA. “Wall-E” looks to clean up this year.
• Directors Guild of America Awards – Saturday the 61st annual trophies for film directors are awarded in LA, one of the prime indicators of what’s likely to happen at the upcoming Oscars.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Steve Martin hosts (this week he released his first full-length music album, “The Crow: New Songs for the Five-String Banjo”); Jason Mraz (“I’m Yours”) is the musical guest.
• “Super Bowl’s Greatest Commercials 2009“ (CBS) – Saturday night, Jim Nantz & Daisy Fuentes host this annual look at famous ads past that ran during Super Bowls.

• Bon Jovi – The former sales manager for the Philadelphia Soul arena football team is suing club owner Jon Bon Jovi & partners for some $125,000 he says he’s owed. Meantime, the Arena Football League is canceling the 2009 season in order to ‘create a better business model for tough economic times’. (BS translation: We’re flippin’ broke!)
• Kelly Clarkson – Her new single “My Life Would Suck Without You” has jumped from #97 to #1 spot on the “Billboard” ‘Hot 100′ chart, breaking the record held by Britney Spears’ “Womanizer” which went from 96-to-1 in a single week.
• Mariah Carey – Her husband Nick Cannon has finally landed a regular gig … as her video director. He’s now working on the video for “My Love”, the second that he’ll film for her.
• Smashing Pumpkins – They’re set to unveil a new song called “FOL” in an ad for Hyundai during the Super Bowl.
• Taylor Swift – Her album “Fearless” is starting an 8th week at #1.

• “New in Town” ( PG-13 Romantic Comedy ): Renée Zellweger portrays a Miami-based consultant who is shipped out to small-town Minnesota for a new project, causing her to reassess her big-city values and, in the process, meet the man of her dreams (Harry Connick Jr). Partially shot in Winnipeg.
• “Taken” ( PG-13 Crime Thriller ): Liam Neeson plays a former spy forced to revisit his professional skills in order to try and save his daughter (Maggie Grace, who played ‘Shannon Rutherford’ on “Lost” for 4 seasons) who’s been kidnapped by slave traders during a vacation in France. Co-stars Famke Janssen. Shot on location in Paris.
• “The Uninvited” ( PG-13 Horror Thriller ): 20-year-old Aussie actress Emily Browning stars as a young girl who returns to her family home after the death of her mother. There she’s visited by her mother’s ghost who reveals the new woman in her father’s life is not who she pretends to be. Co-stars David Strathairn & Elizabeth Banks. Shot in Vancouver & area.

• In Fairfield CT, the main thoroughfare had to be closed after a massive spill of … Buffalo-wing sauce. The accident happened when a truck knocked over several 50-gallon barrels of the hot sauce, thereby clogging the street. (The town now has a community hot tub.)
– “News-Times
• The UK’s Happy Egg Company is now printing a helpful warning on its egg cartons … ‘Allergy Advice: Contains Eggs’. A company rep says they have to state the obvious in order ‘to cover all eventualities’. (That’s refined British understatement for ‘stupid lawsuits’.)
– “Daily Mail”
• A Florida firefighter has been arrested for stealing … a severed foot. She admits taking it from the scene of an accident because she needed it to train her cadaver-search dog. She’s been charged only with misdemeanor theft because it’s difficult to put a monetary value on body parts. (Well, some of them at least.)
– “NY Post”

A British researcher has found it takes about 30% less time to be honest than to tell a fib. University of Southampton psychologist Aiden Gregg developed the so-called ‘Tara’ test, which involves answering a series of questions displayed on a computer screen as quickly as possible by keyboarding responses. The results show that, in 85% of cases, interviewees are slower at faking answers than when telling the truth. (“I’m late ‘cause uh … I uh had to work overtime … yeah, that’s it!”)
– “Daily Telegraph”

There may be a legitimate reason why women are more likely to coo over babies than men.  Psychologists at the University of St Andrews in Scotland have found that young women are acutely sensitive to a baby’s ‘cuteness’ indicators, including chubby cheeks, large forehead, big round eyes, and button nose. On the other hand, women who’ve gone through menopause and men in general are much less able to distinguish between babies. The difference? Could be the hormones a woman’s body produces during child-bearing years. (Aka her ‘biological clock’.)
– “Social Studies”

A group of British cricket players is preparing to set the world’s record for ‘Highest-Altitude Cricket Match, on a plateau on Mount Everest in Nepal. After hiking for 9 days to the Gorak Shep plateau, they plan to play a match 17,000-ft-high this April. (If it’s like most cricket games, it’ll stretch into May and June too.)
– “The Guardian”

• The world’s 3 wealthiest families have more assets than the 48 poorest nations combined.
• On average, we spend 5 times more time in our cars than on vacation.
• There are 3 golf balls sitting on the Moon.
• You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.


1937 [72] Vanessa Redgrave, London UK, movie actress (“Atonement”, Oscar-“Julia”)

1941 [68] Dick Cheney, Lincoln NE, former US Vice-President 2001-09/Defense Secretary (1989-93)/White House Chief of Staff (1975-77)

1951 [58] Phil Collins, London UK, 5′-5” classic rocker (“Another Day in Paradise”, “Genesis-“Invisible Touch”)/film composer (“Tarzan”)

1974 [35] Christian Bale, Haverfordwest, Wales, movie actor (“The Dark Knight”, “The Prestige”)

1980 [29] Wilmer Valderrama, Miami FL, former TV actor (“That ’70s Show” 1998-2006)  UP NEXT: Scheduled to co-star in the bigscreen version of the TV cop show, “ChiPs” (1977-83) later this year.

TV actor Anthony LaPaglia (“Without a Trace”) is 50; Movie actress Minnie Driver (“Good Will Hunting”) is 39; TV actress Portia de Rossi (“Arrested Development”) is 36; Pop singer Justin Timberlake (”SexyBack”) is 28.

Classic rock guitarist Mike Campbell (Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers) is 59; Wealthy person Lisa Marie Presley (daughter of Elvis) is 41; Rock drummer Patrick Wilson (Weezer) is 40; Hip hop artist Big Boi (Outkast) is 34.

• “Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day”, celebrating the padding we all like to pop. Don’t have any addictive bubble wrap with you? Try some virtual popping here …
Or play music on this bubble wrap keyboard …
• “Carnaval de Québec”, the 55th edition of Canada’s largest outdoor winter carnival through February 15th includes night parades, concerts & snow sculptures. The official drink is a ‘Caribou’ (brandy, vodka, sherry & port). The mascot is snowman ‘Bonhomme Carnaval’.
• “Croissant Day”, the first step of which is being able to say the French-derived word ‘croissant’. It’s not ‘CROY-sent’, it’s ‘cwah-SAHN’ … ya rube.
• “Inane Answering Message Day”, a time to change, shorten, replace, or delete that annoying voice-mail message … which you likely recorded on Day One and then never altered.
• “World Law Day”, established in 1922 to celebrate the rules society lives by.
• “Yodel for Your Neighbors Day”, a day to add some frivolity to your neighborhood by warming up the ol’ vocal cords … outdoors. (Followed by ‘Getting Tomato-ed by Your Neighbors Day’.)

• “Backwards Day”, a day to relieve the winter blahs by doing everything backwards, ie: calling people by their last name, eating meals in reverse, signing off your show at the beginning, etc.
• “Beloved Wives Day” in Japan, the 4th annual salute to the better half of couples. On this day, husbands are supposed to pay extra attention to the missus and do things they don’t usually do, such as say ‘I love you’. It’s a creation of the ‘Adoring Husbands Association’. Retch!
• “Play an Old Game You Haven’t Played in Years Night”. Maybe Yahztee, Scrabble, Monopoly, Canasta, Hungry Hippo … Strip Poker?

• “Boy Scout & Girl Scout Sunday”, an annual recognition of the contributions of both young people and adults to the movement that’s turning 102-years-old this year.
• “National Freedom Day” in the USA, begun in 1948 to promote good feelings, harmony, and equal opportunity among all citizens.
• “Return Shopping Carts to the Supermarket Month”as declared by the Food Retailers Association. Shopping carts cost more than $100 apiece and the Food Marketing Institute estimates 1.8 million of them are taken from supermarkets in North America each year.
• “Super Bowl XLIII” (NBC/CTV), the NFL championship being played at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa FL. A few highlights …
– Faith Hill sings “America the Beautiful” as part of the pregame show (5:30 pm EST). John Legend & classic rock band Journey also perform.
– Jennifer Hudson sings the anthem immediately before the game.
– Game time for the Arizona Cardinals vs Pittsburgh Steelers is 6 pm EST but the actual kick-off will be closer to 6:20 pm. Pre-game coverage begins at 1 pm EST.
– Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band perform during the halftime show.
– Cost of … A ticket though a ‘re-seller’: an average of $2,600; A luxury stadium suite: circa $238,000; 30-seconds of advertising during the game: $3 million.
– Of the 72,500 seats available, just 1% were put into a random draw, the NFL’s only method of distributing tickets to the general public. The rest go to teams, corporations, sponsors, etc.
– It is the 3rd Super Bowl in history to feature 2 pre-expansion era (pre-1960) teams.
– So that 2 commercials can be viewed in 3-D, Dreamworks & American Paper Optics have distributed some 125 million pairs of those goofy 3-D glasses … gratis.
– “The Office” gets a special airing during the coveted post-Super Bowl time slot.

1969 [40] The Beatles make their last public appearance, performing “Get Back” atop Apple Records in London for the movie “Let It Be”

1958 [51] 1st ‘Moving Sidewalk’ (1,435-ft-long walkway at Love Field, Dallas TX)

1920 [89] Québec Bulldogs’ Joe Malone sets NHL record of 7 goals in a single game

[Feb 2] 50th anniversary of the ‘Day the Music Died’ / “Chuck” in 3-D (NBC) / Groundhog Day / Candlemas (Christian) / Bifocals at the Monitor Liberation Day / Men’s Grooming Day
[Feb 4] “All Access Grammy Special” (CBS)
[Feb 5] Weatherman’s Day
[Feb 6] Pay-a-Compliment Day / Wear Red Day (Women’s Heart Health Day)
[Feb 7] 61st Writers Guild Awards (LA/NYC) / Charles Dickens Day / Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbor Day / Dump Your Significant Jerk Day / Girls & Women in Sports Day
[Feb 8] 51st Grammy Awards / British Academy of Film & Television Arts (BAFTA) Awards (London) / NFL Pro Bowl (Honolulu HI)
[Feb 9] Develop Alternative Vices Day / Random Acts of Kindness Week begins / Full (Snow) Moon
[Feb 10] World Marriage Day
[Feb 11] Inventors Day / Pro Sports Wives Day / Satisfied Staying Single Day
[Feb 12] 40th NAACP Image Awards
[Feb 13] Get A Different Name Day / Read to Your Child Day
[Feb 14] Valentines Day
[Feb 15] National Flag of Canada Day / NBA All-Star Game (TNT)
[Feb 16] Family Day (AB, ON, SK) / Louis Riel Day (MB) / Presidents’ Day (USA)
[Feb 17] US TV signals go digital
[Feb 18] 2009 BRIT Awards (London) / Thumb Appreciation Day / 2nd CFTPA Canadian Indie Awards (Ottawa)
[Feb 20] Hoodie Hoo Day / Carnival begins (Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)
[Feb 21] 9th Hockey Day in Canada (CBC) / 2009 Razzie Awards / Card Reading Day / Single Tasking Day / Spirit Awards (Los Angeles)
[Feb 22] 81st Academy Awards
[Feb 23] Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day / Curling is Cool Day / Chili Day / Rose Monday
[Feb 24] Shrove Tuesday / Pancake Day / Mardi Gras / Flag Day (Mexico) / Spay Day USA
[Feb 25] Ash Wednesday
[Feb 26] For Pete’s Sake Day
[Feb 27] International Polar Bear Day
[Feb 28] International Floral Design Day / Tooth Fairy Day / International Repetitive Strain Injuries Awareness Day
[Mar 1] East Coast Music Awards (Cornerbrook NL)
[Mar 2] Jimmy Fallon replaces Conan O’Brien on “Late Night” (NBC)
[Mar 3] U2 releases “No Line On the Horizon”
[Mar 6] “Watchmen” opens in movie theaters / National Salesperson Day
[Mar 8] International Women’s Day / Daylight Saving Time begins


• The only snack is a tattered packet of lemon-honey Halls lozenges.
• 24 guests, one diet Fresca.
• The onion dip is served in an athletic cup.
• Host is wearing a crop top & cheerleader’s skirt and it’s a guy.
• Yeah, there’s a hi-def TV … but you’re watching “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?”
• Somebody has already licked the yummy powdery stuff off the Doritos.
• Host serves the sandwiches by hiking them between his legs.
• Drunk guy in the corner keeps asking what inning it is.
• All the women attending look like John Madden.
• It’s happening tonight.

I bet you 5 bucks I can tell you where you got those shoes. You got them on your feet.

Today’s Question: The average homeowner has 8 of THESE in the house that aren’t being using.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Batteries.

It is not happiness that makes us grateful, but the gratefulness that makes us happy.

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