Tuesday, January 22, 2008        Edition: #3694
You’ve Got Yourself in Deep Sheet!

One of THIS SEASON’s tweaks to “American Idol” will give contestants the chance to play musical instruments during the Hollywood round of the audition process (TONIGHT: More road auditions, this time in San Diego CA) . . . In the latest fallout from the writers strike, CBS-TV has dropped about 20 projects that were in development, most of them dramas (meaning we’re sentenced to another full year of lame reality shows!) . . . Reps for both Beyoncé and the Foo Fighters have confirmed they WILL perform at the “Grammy Awards” (FEBRUARY 10th) even if it means crossing WGA picket lines . . . After being unceremoniously fired as host of “Trading Spaces“ (TLC) almost exactly 3 years ago, perky Paige Davis has agreed to return to the series as new producers recycle its original format and hopefully, popularity (could you come back after being fired?) . . . Country singing competition “Nashville Star” is moving to NBC-TV THIS SUMMER from USA Network and, as well as soloists, will now feature duets & groups as well (casting of the host and judges for the 6th season will begin in FEBRUARY) . . . 44-year-old “National Treasure: Book of Secrets” star Nicolas Cage has returned 2 poisonous pet snakes to where they were purchased because his neighbors threatened a lawsuit (agents & producers are the only snakes allowed in Hollywood) . . . And pseudo-singer Jessica Simpson, who’s currently recording a country-flavored album, says she wants to include a duet with her NFL star boyfriend Tony Romo (if that happens, Dallas Cowboys fans will hold a mass CD burning!).

• Feist – “Batman Begins” villain Cillian Murphy will star in her new music video for “The Water”.
• Kenny Chesney – THIS SUMMER his stadium shows will include some heavyweight support acts, including Brooks & Dunn at 5 of 14 scheduled dates; Keith Urban at 9; and LeAnn Rimes at all. Big & Rich, Gary Allan, Luke Bryan, and Sammy Hagar will perform at selected shows.
• Janis Joplin – An official Texas State Historical Marker has been unveiled in front of the house in Port Arthur TX where she grew up. The iconic rock & blues singer died at age 27 in 1970.
• Leonard Cohen – The 73-year-old musical legend is set to make his live performance return after a 15-year hiatus. He’ll play dates in Canada & the US before heading off to Europe THIS SUMMER. No word yet on specific dates, venues or cities.
• Usher – He’s mourning the death of his father, Usher Raymond III, in Atlanta GA. The cause is yet to be determined.

• Academy Awards – THIS MORNING nominations for the 80th Oscars will be announced at 5:30 am PST at the Samuel Goldwyn Theater in LA. You’ll find them first here …
NET: http://tinyurl.com/28oqtq
• Cheap Trick – The classic rockers guest on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC).
• Clay Aiken – The Broadway “Spamalot” star visits “The View” (ABC/CTV).
• The Game – An LA Superior Court judge has scheduled a hearing to decide whether the LAPD should be held in contempt of court for holding onto his money. The cops seized $40,000 following a firearms incident at a basketball game LAST FEBRUARY … then never gave it back.
• Jennifer Lopez – She’s celebrating her pregnancy with a baby shower in NYC.
• Kellie Pickler – She’s a guest on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV).
• Ringo Starr – The 67-year-old former Beatle appears on “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV).

• “Blonde Ambition” ( Straight-to-DVD Romantic Comedy ): Jessica Simpson stars as a young professional (!?!?) who unwittingly becomes the pawn in a high-stakes corporate battle. Co-stars Luke Wilson, Rachael Leigh Cook, and that talisman of quality filmmaking – Andy Dick. The film made a little over $1,000 during a limited release in Texas.
• “The Game Plan” ( Comedy ): The Rock (Dwayne Johnson) stars as a superstar NFL quarterback whose party-hearty lifestyle is upended when a 7-year-old daughter he never knew he had shows up on his doorstep. Co-stars Kyra Sedgwick & Madison Pettis.
• “The Hunting Party” ( Action Adventure ): Richard Gere, Terrence Howard & Jesse Eisenberg play a trio of journalists who take on an unauthorized mission in Bosnia to find the region’s top war criminal. Their goal becomes seriously jeopardized when their target decides to come after them, thinking they’re a CIA hit squad. Shot in Croatia.
• “Saw IV” ( Horror ): The deaths of ‘Jigsaw’ and his apprentice ‘Amanda’ ensnare a group of investigators in the grisly details of the killers’ final game. It’s been confirmed that, even though the serial torturer is dead, ‘Jigsaw’ will still appear in any and all sequels. Word has it “Saw 5” and “6” are already scheduled for 2008/2009 theatrical releases. Stars Tobin Bell, Scott Patterson & Justin Louis. Shot entirely in Toronto.
• “Sydney White” ( Comedy ): Amanda Bynes stars as a legacy sorority pledge who becomes disillusioned with her college’s social hierarchy so she bands together with a group of dorky outcasts in an attempt to shake things up. A modern version of the “Snow White” fable, filmed in Florida.
• Also released TODAY: “ER: The Complete 8th Season”; “The Girls Next Door: Season 3“; “The Simple Life Goes to Camp”; and “Torchwood: The Complete 1st Series”.

British architect Lord Foster has designed the world’s first sustainable, self-sufficient city. The walled, car-less city, to be built on the outskirts of Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates, will house 50,000 people and 1,500 businesses. ‘Masdar’, as it will be known, will be entirely run on renewable energy, the majority of which will be solar power.
– “GQ”

• A growing fashion trend in Sweden involves a new type of kilt designed to combine style & function for hard-working guys. Clothing manufacturer Blaklader created the heavyweight cotton kilt with handy pockets and extra places to store tools. It’s proven surprisingly popular and was named 2007 ‘Fashion Product of the Year’ by the Swedish Textile & Clothing Association.
– “The Local“
• The latest fad in Chile is to dress in the style of ‘Pokemon’, the popular Japanese series of cartoon characters whose name comes from the combination of the words ‘pocket’ and ‘monster’. The new wave of South American youth spend hours on clothing, makeup, and hairdos tp reflect the style before gathering at afternoon reggaeton dance parties.
– “China Daily”

According to research in behavioral economics, the average person would rather earn $50,000 a year while peers make $25,000 than earn $100,000 a year while others get $250,000. So basically, we’ll give up 50-grand a year just so we don’t feel inferior to colleagues.
– “Los Angeles Times“

According to a new survey of 2,000 movie lovers, commissioned by 20th Century Fox …
5. Chainsaw. (“Texas Chainsaw Massacre”).
4. Uma Thurman’s Samurai sword. (“Kill Bill”).
3. Harrison Ford’s bullwhip. (“Indiana Jones“).
2. Clint Eastwood’s .44 Magnum. (“Dirty Harry”).
1. The lightsabers used by Jedi knights. (“Star Wars”).
– “The Telegraph”

• Single women are twice as likely to buy homes than single men, despite having considerably lower median income.
– “Wall Street Journal”
• Atomic warheads make excellent reactor fuel. Decommissioned warheads, containing greatly enriched uranium or plutonium, currently now provide about 15% of the world’s nuclear fuel.
– “Spiked Magazine”
• Winnipeg is the car-theft capital of Canada, with approximately 20 auto theft reports daily.
– CBC News

A 35-year-old computer programer from Houston who goes only by the name ‘Winter’ is bragging that he’s now visited some 8,000 Starbucks worldwide. His website claims he’s visited a total of 7,269 of the chain’s US locations and another 457 sites in other countries. Each visit includes at least one 4-oz Starbucks coffee and a photo. Why bother? “It’s just the nature of my personality to do something different,” he says.
NET: http://starbuckseverywhere.net/

A Chinese woman will be losing her place in the “Guinness Book of World Records” after allowing surgeons to remove the ‘World’s Largest Tumor’ … from her butt. The 4 foot-plus, 99-lb tumor weighed more than the patient, who originally had the growth removed when she was 12-years-old and it was the size of an egg, but 10 years later the growth reappeared and ‘started growing like crazy’.
– Ananova News

• The first novel comprised entirely of text messages has been written in Finland. Including 1,000 texts in all, the story chronicles one man’s travels in Europe and India.
• A haddock’s mating call starts as a slow knocking sound, before turning into a quicker hum similar to a small motorcycle revving its engine.
• If you are right-handed, you tend to chew your food on the right side of your mouth.

“Irish people are essentially Latin people who don’t know how to dance.”
– U2’s Bono, attempting to make some sort of point about something.


1949 [59] Steve Perry, Hanford CA, classic rock singer (“Oh Sherry”, Journey-“Open Arms”)

1952 [56] Teddy Gentry, Ft Payne AL, retired country singer (Alabama-“Reckless”, “Can’t Keep a Good Man Down”)/CMA ‘Entertainer of the Year’ 1982-84/ACM ‘Entertainer of the Year’ 1981-85/RIAA ‘Country Group of the 20th Century’/23 American Music Awards/a record 21 consecutive #1 country hits

1965 [43] Diane Lane, NYC, movie actress (“Under the Tuscan Sun”, “Unfaithful”)/Mrs Josh Brolin since 2004

1981 [27] Beverley Mitchell, Arcadia CA, movie actress (“Saw II”)/TV actress (“Seventh Heaven” 1996-2007)

• “Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day”, a day to concentrate on your feline and answer the questions you think it’s asking. People often consider cats unaffectionate, not true companions. But the truth is, they only talk to us. Studies show they rarely ‘meow’ at other cats, reserving that sound for humans.

• “Celebration of Life Day”, a day to honor the gift of children and grandchildren.

• “International Clash Day”, when you’re supposed to put together the gaudiest outfit you can find, in order to relieve the winter blahs.

• “Rid the World of Fad Diets & Gimmicks Day”, a highlight of the 15th annual “Healthy Weight Week”.
NET: http://www.healthyweightnetwork.com/hww.htm

• “St Vincent’s Day”, honoring the patron saint of wine growers. Tradition says: ‘Sunshine on St Vincent’s Day means the year’s wine will be more plentiful than water’. Let’s drink to that!

• “Speak Up & Succeed Day”. Tomorrow is ‘You’re Fired, You Loudmouth Troublemaker Day’.

• “Unification of Ukraine Day”, celebrating Ukraine’s formation in 1919. There are over 1 million people of Ukranian origin in Canada, making them the country’s 8th-largest ethnic group and giving Canada the world’s 3rd-largest Ukrainian population after Ukraine and Russia.

1992 [16] Canada’s 1st female astronaut (Roberta Bondar lifts off in space shuttle ‘Discovery’ as Canada’s 2nd astronaut)

1997 [11] USA’s 1st female Secretary of State (Madeleine Albright)

1943 [65] Temperature rises 49 degrees F in 2 minutes in Spearfish SD

1964 [44] World’s ‘Largest Cheese’ (34,590 lbs/15,723 kg) produced in Wisconsin

1982 [26] It’s estimated that 75% of North America is covered by snow

[Wed] Weedless Wednesday
[Wed] Measure Your Feet Day
[Wed] Handwriting Day
[Wed] Compliment Day
[Fri] 8th International Internet-Free Day
[Fri] Robbie Burns Day
[Fri] Opposite Day
This Week Is … Women in Blue Jeans Week
This Month Is … Volunteer Blood Donor Month


• “Here honey, you use the remote.”
• “You know, I’d like to see her again, but her breasts are just too big.”
• “Sex isn’t that important, sometimes I just want to be held.”
• “Hey, let me hold your handbag while you try that on.”
• “We never talk anymore.”

“The Week the Women Went” premiered LAST NIGHT on CBC-TV, which followed the repercussions of all the women leaving the town of Hardisty AB (population 743) for a week. What would be the biggest change in your home or workplace if there were no women around?

• Do dyslexics have the right to arm bears?
• When does the graveyard shift begin for a mortician?
• Why do people say “I’ll be right back” when they go to the washroom? Do they ever stay?
• THIS MONTH is the 50th anniversary of the “Smurfs”, a good time to ponder … why have there only ever been 3 female Smurfs but more than 100 males?
• If we’re halfway from here to there, which is which?

Your contestant/studio guest must decide which of the following are NOT actual articles from women’s magazines …
GAME #1 –
• “Is Your Shape Running Your Life?”
• “How to Score a Touchdown in the Sheets Every Night!” [FAKE]
• “Do You Know the Inner Workings of His Male Machinery?”

GAME #2 –
• “Confessions of Real-Life Desperate Housewives!”
• “Marriage Makeover: What to Do When You’re Having Chore Wars!”
• “13 Ways to Take His Mind Off the Game (At Least During Halftime)” [FAKE]

GAME #3 –
• “Relationship Renewal: Here’s Why He Keeps Mumbling!” [FAKE]
• “5 Tricks That Will Totally Rev His Engine!”
• “Get Fit in 45 Minutes or Less!”

A new study of economics reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.

Today’s Question: It is believed that THIS is the most widely used food in the world.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: The onion.

No amount of advance planning will ever replace dumb luck.

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