Friday, January 18, 2008          Edition: #3692
Bully For You!

After discovering their New Year’s Day wedding in Bora Bora wasn’t legally binding, actor Eddie Murphy & his wife of 2 weeks, Tracey Edmonds (ex-Mrs Babyface Edmonds), have reportedly split up (guess they weren’t in it for the long haul then?) . . . The makers of the board game “Scrabble” have asked Facebook to remove its popular add-on, “Scrabulous”, claiming that it breaches their copyright (Facebook will replace the game with the exciting new ‘Monopulous’) . . . “Mad Money” actress Queen Latifah is taking aim at the tabloid media, saying her New Year’s resolution is to ‘get legal’ with anyone who prints lies about her (has she been talking to co-star Katie Holmes’ hubby?)  . . . Here’s a bad omen for the “Grammys” (FEBRUARY 10th) & the “Oscars” (FEBRUARY 24th) – LAST SUNDAY’s star-less “Golden Globe Awards” was the least watched for over a decade . . . The “American Idol 7” debut was watched by 33.2 million viewers, enough to win the ratings, but its lowest-rated opening since 2004 . . . 77-year-old Hollywood veteran Clint Eastwood is suing a furniture company for marketing a line of home-theater seats called ‘The Eastwood’ without his permission (another design is called ‘The Brando’, which the company claims is named after a town in Corsica – snort!) . . . “The Hills” star Heidi Montag admits she had breast augmentation & a nose job a year ago, and suggests her castmates should ‘fess up because she’s not the only girl on the show to have work done . . . And actress Salma Hayek & her boyfriend Francois-Henri Pinault (owner of Gucci-Yves Saint Laurent) top a new ranking of Hollywood’s richest couples by “In Touch Weekly” that also includes Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel; Simon Cowell & Teri Seymour; and Jessica Simpson & NFL star Tony Romo (who’ll be a couple for about 5 more minutes).

• Faith Hill – She’s recovering from surgery to repair an old high school softball injury to her knee. The procedure realigned the knee cap & adjusted the joint itself. She’s now following a rehab program.
• George Michael – The aging British pop star has signed a lucrative book deal with HarperCollins to release an ‘access-all-areas’ biography. As well as selling over 85 million records worldwide, the 44-year-old has gained infamy through several embarrassing scrapes with the law. But does he remember anything to write about?
• Paul McCartney – THIS SPRING he’s hosting the first major exhibition of photography by his late wife Linda. He’s been assembling the collection for the last 3 years and will stage the exhibit in London to commemorate the 10th anniversary of her death.
• Pink – She’ll soon appear in PETA-sponsored billboards across NYC, urging New Yorkers and tourists to boycott the traditional horse-drawn carriages in Central Park. She wants rickshaws?
• +44 – Travis Barker is suing RockStar energy drink for unauthorized use of his name and image, which the company has now pulled from its website. Oops.
• Robbie Williams – EMI Records has confirmed that over a million unsold copies of the fading UK pop star’s latest flop album, “Rudebox”, will be crushed and sold to China to resurface roads. They’re apparently paving the way for his retirement.
• Rolling Stones – They may become the latest act to bolt record label EMI (following Radiohead and Paul McCartney) when their contract ends NEXT MONTH. They’ve already made a live album deal with Universal to coincide with the launch of Martin Scorcese’s Rolling Stones documentary “Shine A Light”.

• Clay Aiken – TONIGHT he makes his Broadway debut in “Spamalot”, playing the cowardly ’Sir Robin’, the role that earned David Hyde Pierce a Tony Award. He’ll get to sing the musical’s show-stopper, “You Won’t Succeed On Broadway”.
• “G’Day USA“ – SATURDAY Aussie singer Kylie Minogue is honored at the annual gala dinner for Australians in Hollywood. She’ll be saluted by Olivia Newton-John and her “Grease” co-star John Travolta. Minogue admits she’s always referred to him as ‘John Revolting’.
• “Star Trek The Tour” – TODAY the largest interactive “Star Trek” exhibit ever is making its North American debut at the Queen Mary Dome in Long Beach CA. The 40-city tour features the world’s largest collection of authentic “Star Trek” ships, costumes, props & sets from all 5 TV shows & 10 films over the last 40-plus years. Geeks will be in heaven!

• “Cloverfield” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller ): A going-away party turns into a frantic fight for survival for a group of young people in Manhattan as they witness a monster’s vicious attack on New York City. Stars little-known actors Mike Vogel, Jessica Lucas & Lizzy Caplan. “Cloverfield” was initially just one of several code names for the top-secret project. It’s the name of the boulevard in Santa Monica CA where producer JJ Abrams’ office was located.
• “Mad Money” ( PG-13 Crime Comedy ): Diane Keaton, Queen Latifah & Katie Holmes star as a trio of employees at the Federal Reserve who plot to steal money that is about to be destroyed. Loosely based on a true story involving the Bank of England’s incinerating plant in Essex UK. Directed by Callie Khouri, who also helmed “Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood” and wrote the screenplay for “Thelma & Louise”. Shot entirely in Shreveport, Louisiana.
• “27 Dresses” ( PG-13 Romantic Comedy ): Wow, an entire movie based on the saying ‘always a bridesmaid, never a bride’. Katherine Heigl plays the spinster-phobic young woman who’s already been in 27 bridal parties, and then faces the ultimate indignity when the man of her dreams becomes engaged to her sister. Co-stars James Marsden (“Hairspray”) & Malin Akerman (“The Heartbreak Kid”).

The new ‘Starry Night Bed’ unveiled at the recent Consumer Electronics Show is at the cutting edge of sleep technology. A few of its features …
• Vibration sensors monitor the sleeper’s breathing. If it stops, the bed calls 9-1-1.
• When snoring is detected, the head of the bed slowly elevates until it stops, then flattens out again.
• A thin layer of liquid sealed into the mattress provides heating or cooling.
• When the user gets up in the middle of the night, the bed automatically switches on lighting.
• A built-in media center provides music, projects films, and even has an Internet connection.
– “The Observer”

• In Gothenburg, Sweden a janitor noticed a suspicious-looking small package that appeared to be moving on its own while he was sweeping trash from a public parking lot this week. After the local bomb squad arrived and got the package open, it discovered … a battery-operated vibrator.
• In Sacramento CA, after a suspected drunk driver was involved in a single-car crash police discovered that he had failed to buckle up. However, safely secured with its seatbelt on the front seat beside him was … his 12-pack of beer.
• In NYC, 2 men were arrested for pushing a corpse, seated in an office chair, along the sidewalk to a cheque-cashing store to cash his Social Security cheque. One of the accused claims he didn’t know the guy was dead because … he looked like that every morning.
• In Lithuania, police who arrested a woman for shoplifting were surprised to find … she was declared dead a month ago. Well, sort of. It seems the light-fingered female’s parents had mistakenly identified a body found in a nearby forest as their daughter. So the good news is, your daughter’s alive! The bad news is, she’s now in the slammer!
• In Richmond VA, a state legislator is attempting to have ornamental plastic & chrome testicles hanging from trucks made illegal because he considers them offensive. The plastic ornaments sell on the Internet for $15 while the chrome version goes for $39.99. They’re marketed under the name … ‘Truck Nutz’.

University of Arizona Environmental Microbiology Professor Charles Gerba claims a particularly germ-infested place that we unknowingly often encounter is the 1st-floor button in elevators. And just to create further alarm, he warns that 30% of women’s handbags carry particles of fecal bacteria on the bottom, because they are left on the floor in public lavatories. (Okay, altogether now, grab your hand sanitizers!)
– “Social Studies”

It’s hardly a revelation that men find longer legs hot … but apparently women do too! And it’s all likely do to genetic selection. According to new research that’s sure to sadden short people, lengthier pins are a sign of good health, especially in women, whereas stumpy legs have been linked with higher risks of cardiovascular disease and diabetes. (As well as generally not being very tall.)
– “The Guardian”

The dog-walking & pet-sitting industry has grown exponentially over the past 5 years. Young entrepreneurs have found profitable careers doing what used to be just a household chore. Those who’ve been in the dog-walking business for a while say the increased competition is no problem. The demand for reliable animal tenders willing to go out, even when the wind chill shatters the enamel on your teeth, is so great that there’s room for all comers. (Why hire a dog-walker … that’s what kids are for!)
– “Philadelphia Inquirer”

• More than 100 romance novels are published every month. (Read ‘em and weep!)
• A typical kid these days spends 18% of their time – a total of 66 days per year – in front of a TV or computer screen. (The reason for the nickname ‘screenagers’.)


1955 [53] Kevin Costner, Lynwood CA, movie actor (“The Guardian”, “Field of Dreams”)/movie director (1991 Oscar-“Dances With Wolves”)

1969 [39] Jesse L Martin, Rocky Mountain VA, TV actor (‘Detective Ed Green’ on “Law & Order” since 1999)/movie actor (“Rent”)

1971 [37] Jonathan Davis, Bakersfield CA, rock singer/drummer/bagpiper (Korn-“Evolution”, “Twisted Transistor”)

News anchor Lloyd Robertson (CTV) is 74; Country singer Dolly Parton (“I Will Always Love You”) is 62; Comedian Paul Rodriguez is 53; NFL linebacker Junior Seau (New England Patriots) is 39; Actor Shawn Wayans (Wayans Bros) is 37.

Classic rock guitarist Paul Stanley (KISS) is 56; TV host Bill Maher (“Real Time with Bill Maher”) is 52; TV actor James Denton (“Desperate Housewives”) is 45; Country singer John Michael Montgomery (“Sold”) is 43; TV actor Rainn Wilson (“The Office”) is 40; Rock drummer Rob Bourdon (Linkin Park) is 29.

• “Cut Yourself Some Slack Day”, a day to ‘do unto ourselves what we would have others do unto us’. Hey, give yourself a break!
• “Thesaurus Day”, celebrating the birthday of the author of “Roget’s Thesaurus”. Peter Roget was born on this day in 1779. Say, what’s another word for thesaurus anyway?
• “Winnie the Pooh Day”, honoring the birthday of “Winnie-the-Pooh” author AA Milne (1882-1956) in London UK. Disney says thanks for the profits, bud.

• “Confederate Heroes Day”, observed on the anniversary of the 1807 birth of Robert E Lee. It’s an official holiday in Texas.
• “Edgar Allan Poe Birth Anniversary”, celebrating the 1809 birth of the famed American writer of “The Raven”, who’s also credited as the inventor of the mystery novel.
• “International Sing-Out Day”, a time to break out in song just like they do in goofy musicals.
• “Maintenance Day”, honoring all janitors and building maintenance personnel … because they’re good natured swabs.
• “Penguin Awareness Day”, to highlight conservation of natural resources by increasing awareness of the interrelationship between humans and marine animals. Not sure where the official celebration is being held, but you can bet they’ll be wearing tuxes!
• “Popcorn Day”, celebrating the best substitute for a movie date you can possibly find. Aside from salt & butter, what’s the yummiest popcorn topping?

• “Philately Day”, aka “Stamp Collecting Day”. As a hobby, you just can’t lick it!
• Zodiac sign of Aquarius begins (the ‘Water Carrier’).

2000 [08] 38-year-old TV actor Michael J Fox announces he’s leaving “Spin City” to fight Parkinson’s disease

1996 [12] Lisa Marie Presley files for divorce from Michael Jackson

1917 [91] Income Tax is introduced in Canada as a ‘temporary measure’ to help war effort

1994 [14] 1st ‘Automatic Breadmaker’ debuts at Chicago’s “International Housewares Show”

1996 [12] 1st computer software on DVD is released (phone listings for the entire USA)

1997 [11] Norwegian Borge Ousland crosses Antarctica, all 1,675 miles … alone! (so how do we know if he really did it?)

[Mon] Hugging Day
[Mon] Squirrel Appreciation Day
[Mon] Martin Luther King Day (USA)
[Tues] Academy Award nominations announced
[Tues] Answer Your Cat’s Question Day
[Wed] Measure Your Feet Day
[Wed] Weedless Wednesday
This Week Is … Let Men Be Our Heroes Week
This Month Is … Celebration of Life Month


• “Ha! They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist …”
• “Gimme a match. I think my gas tank is empty.”
• “Don’t worry, it’s not loaded.”
• “What happens if you touch these 2 wires togeth . . .”
• “You know, this kinda tastes funny …”
• “Don’t bother unplugging it, it will just take a moment to fix.”
• “What do you mean my shoes are untied?”
• “You can make it easily, that train isn’t coming very fast.”
• “You don’t look so tough …”
• “Why yes, honey. You DO look fat in that dress.”

I’ve got the world’s oldest computer. It prints in pencil.

The week’s most requested music files online …
5.  Wyclef Jean – “Sweetest Girl (Dollar Bill)”
4. Fergie – “Clumsy”
3. Flo Rida (f/T-Pain) – “Low”
2. Soulja Boy – “Crank Dat (Soulja Boy)”
1. Alicia Keys – “No One”
– Big Champagne online music measurement

When vegetarians visit a non-vegetarian household for dinner, the meal usually caters to their diet. Shouldn’t they reciprocate when carnivores visit them?

Today’s Question: More people die participating in THIS sport than any other.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Golf.

Everyone’s a millionaire where promises are concerned.

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