Wednesday, January 16, 2008        Edition: #3690
Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
48-year-old “American Idol” judge Simon Cowell says he’s attempting to slim down by adhering to a healthy new diet that eliminates red meat, cookies, cakes, and desserts . . . 36-year-old actress Christina Applegate is the latest Hollywood femme to suggest that if she doesn’t get pregnant soon she’ll take matters into her old hands and adopt (currently, the divorced “Samantha Who?” star isn’t even dating) . . . Movie star Johnny Depp is so grateful to London’s Great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital for saving 8-year-old daughter Lily-Rose’s life LAST YEAR that he’s given it a donation of $2 million (look for the joint to be renamed the ‘Jack Sparrow Children’s Hospital’) . . . NBC-TV has announced it’s picking up a 2nd season of reality competition “American Gladiators” (suggesting the writers’ strike is never gonna end) . . . An insider claims it was Jessica Simpson’s sleazeball manager-father Joe who tipped off paparazzi that his daughter was vacationing with Cowboys QB Tony Romo in Mexico LAST WEEK, a getaway that many Dallas fans blame for the NFL team’s playoff elimination (word has it Joe arranges to get a cut from all sales of photos to tabloids) . . . 24-year-old British actress Emily Blunt (“Charlie Wilson’s War”, “The Devil Wears Prada”) has an unusual phobia – she’s terrified of gloves (she has claustrophobic pinkies?) . . . 51-year-old movie star-turned-animal activist Bo Derek (a former “10”) claims a new ban on horse meat in the US has led to the animals being shipped to Canada & Mexico for slaughter and eventual export to Europe (horse meat needs a friendlier name, akin to ‘pork’ or ‘beef’, in order for it to be palatable) . . . And a rep for Naomi Campbell is vehemently denying that the supermodel is dating Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez following her interview with him for “GQ” magazine (this is how you get publicity in the 21st century: deny things nobody even accused you of – “I’m not pregnant with George Clooney’s love child, dating Britney Spears, nor using steroids to enhance my acting …”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Beatles – 15 previously unreleased tracks will soon be packaged in a new compilation. Recorded in Hamburg, Germany in 1962, they mark the first time the classic lineup was captured live, shortly after Ringo Starr replaced Pete Best as drummer.
• Coldplay – They’ve reportedly set a MAY 19th release date for their 4th studio album, “Prospekt”. Clocking in at 43-minutes-long, recording of the 11 track album is now believed to be complete.
• Daughtry – Chris Daughtry says “American Idol” is in a ‘state of decline’ and beginning to ‘lack credibility’. If they don’t do something about it, he figures the show won’t last much longer. He came in 4th place during the 2006 season. Still bitter, are we?
• The Eagles – They’ll kick off their “Long Road Out of Eden World Tour” with 4 concerts at London’s O2 Arena MARCH 20, 22, 23 & 26.
• Garth Brooks – JANUARY 25th, the 1-hour special “Garth Brooks: Live in LA!” (CBS) will feature part of his 3rd Staples Center concert that day. 2 more are scheduled for the next.
• Kenny Chesney – He’ll play 14 stadiums THIS SUMMER on his “2008 Poets & Pirates” tour. Seems the $71 million he took in LAST YEAR just wasn’t enough.
• Nine Inch Nails – Trent Reznor says he’s in favor of a tax added to monthly Internet Service Provider (ISP) fees as an income stream for artists whose music is downloaded for free.
• Randy Jackson – The “American Idol” judge & sometime producer is set to release the compilation “Randy Jackson’s Music Club, Vol 1” in MARCH, which will feature a mishmash of music styles & artists, including Elliott Yamin, Joss Stone, Katharine McPhee, Mariah Carey, and Paula Abdul’s 1st new recording in more than 10 years (“Dance Like There’s No Tomorrow”).
• Rihanna – She’s just added a new tattoo to her body art collection, a sprinkling of stars on her neck.

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• Maroon 5 – They continue their TV talk show tour with an appearance on “The View” (ABC/CTV).
• Tim McGraw – THIS WEEK in Los Angeles he’s shooting his 5th movie role, playing a brother to Vince Vaughn’s character in the seasonal comedy “Four Christmases”. The cast also includes Reese Witherspoon, Robert Duvall, Jon Voight, and Dwight Yoakam.
• Wyclef Jean – The former Fugee does “Late Night With David Letterman” (CBS). He’ll likely be asked how his name, along with 50 Cent, Mary J Blige & Timbaland, has surfaced in a recent investigation of steroid trafficking.

HOW TO BE A MILF:
If you want to be fabulous after 40, “Today” show style contributor Charla Krupp says there are some definite dos & don’ts. A few highlights from her new book, “How Not to Look Old” …
• Dump your blood-red lipstick and extra-long hair.
• Wear dark, form-fitting jeans.
• Don’t overbling with jewelry.
• Wear walkable heels. Flats & sneakers are very aging.
• Choose one-piece swimwear.
• Chuck old, ill-fitting undergarments and get friendly with ‘shapewear’.
• Never leave the house looking frumpy, even if it’s just to go to the grocery store.
Krupp says the big mistake many mature women make is developing a poor attitude. Some just give up, not wanting to put out the effort anymore. (Who’s the classiest 40-plus female star?)
– “Seattle Post-Intelligencer”

TOO COLD TO SNOW:
On really icy days, you might hear somebody say that it’s ‘too cold to snow’. And it can be. In order to snow, the atmosphere must contain moisture. In very cold temperatures (-10 F / -20 C or below) the air tends to contain little moisture, making snowfall extremely unlikely. (Those are the days when it’s so cold, I have to jump-start the wife.)
– “New Science”

DRINKING FOR DOLLARS:
The Pacific Standard bar in NYC has decided to reward its heavier drinkers by … passing out prizes. Regulars save up points through purchases and can cash them in on a variety of prizes, from novelty beers to California vacations. Barflies say winning prizes simply by drinking beats the heck out of a retail store rewards program. Bar owner John Rauschenberg claims the idea is to help the bar stand out from competitors, not to promote heavier drinking. (“Don’ chu dare cut me ov … I jes need to inhale 5 more to get the toaster!”)
– “NY Daily News“

THE ONLY 3 TRADEMARKED SOUNDS:
• MGM movie studio’s ‘Leo’ the lion roar.
• NBC-TV’s 3 chime network ID.
• Harley Davidson motorcycle’s V-twin engine roar.
– BRI Files

THE PRICE OF PLONK INCREASES PLEASURE:
New research suggests that we get more pleasure from expensive wine regardless of what it tastes like. Expectations of quality seem to trigger activity in the part of the brain that registers pleasure. Baba Shiv, associate professor at California’s Stanford School of Business, says we have long known that our perceptions are affected by marketing; now we know that the brain itself is modulated by price. (Take that, wine snobs! Oh, and your $70,000 BMW? Sucks.)
– Reuters

TOP KISS KOLLECTIBLES:
Thanks to merciless marketing and Gene Simmons high-profile appearances on “Celebrity Apprentice” (NBC) and “Family Jewels” (A&E), ancient rock band Kiss continues to clean up by merchandising a wide range of ‘official’ products. Here’s one ranking of the best, or at least some of the weirdest …
5. ‘Kiss Air Freshener’
4. ‘Ace Frehley Auction Paddle’
3. ‘Kiss Toothbrush’
2. ‘Gene Simmons Celebriduck’
1. ‘Kiss Kasket’
– “Rolling Stone”

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• An ex-con in Colorado is suing the Pueblo County Jail over injuries he sustained during … an attempted escape. Scott Anthony Gomez Jr was using bed sheets to rappel down the 85-foot building in 2006 when he fell 40 feet to the ground and was seriously injured. His lawsuit alleges authorities failed to ensure the lockup was secure, making it too easy to break out. The local sheriff says the case doesn’t pass the ‘straight-face test’ and the real reason for the suit is likely to avoid repaying some $64,000 in medical expenses.
• A German man has thrown his Christmas tree out a 3rd storey window … along with himself. The stumblebum tumbled some 22 feet from his apartment in Moenchengladbach during a late-night bout of cleaning. The tree unfortunately did little to cushion his fall and the man is now recuperating in hospital. We’re guessing maybe the last egg nog of the season was involved?
• A 16-year-old from Melbourne, Australia faces a bill of $20,000 after throwing the ‘best party ever’. Over 500 revelers attended the bash held by Corey Delaney while his parents were on vacation. But when things got out of hand, 30 police officers, a dog squad, and a helicopter had to be called in to break up the raucous festivities. Delaney says he won’t be home when his parents return. You are so grounded until 2013, kid.

BS CUTTING-EDGE VOCAB:
New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Celebutard’ – A stupid, famous female. Well let’s see, where to begin the list? Britney, Lindsay, Nicole, Paris …
• ‘Leisure Sickness‘ – Aches and pains, cold- and flu-like symptoms and other health complaints suffered when you’re away from work. For some people, a vacation seems to cause illness.
• ‘Myachi’ – A little like hacky sack, only you use your hands instead of your feet. You can use your elbows and head too, but not your palms. If you’ve ever had a hankering to balance a pen or lighter on the back of your hand, this may be the sport for you.

NO-LEGGED ATHLETE BANNED FROM GAMES:
A South African double amputee dubbed ‘the fastest man on no legs’ has been banned from competing against able-bodied athletes at the upcoming “Beijing Olympics”. A report found that Oscar Pistorius’ sickle-shaped false limbs, which have earned him the nickname ‘Blade Runner’, allow him to run at the same speed as normal sprinters but with about 25% less energy expenditure. (Also disqualified, a swimmer with no arms and no legs named ‘Bob’.)
– “The Times of London”

DID YOU KNOW?
• Fantasy sports is now a $1.5 billion-a-year industry.
• A typical driver will honk the horn 15,250 times in a lifetime.
• Women generally have wider peripheral vision than men.

BS CHRONOMETER 01.16.08

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1947 [61] Laura Schlessinger, Brooklyn NY, syndicated radio talk show host (“Dr Laura”)/author (“The Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives”)  FACTOID: She’s only a ‘doctor’ thanks to a PhD in Physiology.

1974 [34] Kate Moss, Addiscomb UK, fashion model who’s appeared on over 300 magazine covers/form gf of Babyshambles singer Pete Doherty

1981 [27] Nick Valensi, NYC, rock guitarist (The Strokes-“Last Nite”, “Juicebox”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Elementary School Teachers Day”, honoring those who spend all day with our kids … because we certainly couldn’t.

• “Hot & Spicy Food International Day”, encouraging us to spice up our lives in order to add some zest to a winter’s day. What’s the absolute hottest thing you’ve ever put in your mouth?

• “Human Relations Day”, a day set aside for the boss to interact with another species.

• “Religious Freedom Day”, when you all have the right to believe the same stuff I do.

• “2008 BMO Canadian Figure Skating Championships” through Sunday at the PNE in Vancouver. Some 150 of Canada’s best skaters are competing. The results determine who’ll represent Canada at the next “World Figure Skating Championships”, “Four Continents Championships”, and “World Junior Championships”.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/28tx4o

• “Work at Home With Your Spouse Day”, to encourage couples to make the most of their relationship & skills by starting a business together. What would be the biggest problem of working with your spouse?

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1939 [69] 1st appearance of “Superman” comics

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1988 [20] George Harrison’s “Got My Mind Set On You” hits #1 on pop singles charts (Weird Al later parodies it with “This Song is Just Six Words Long”)

1994 [14] Bryan Adams plays before 2,500 people in Ho Chi Minh City to become the first Western entertainer to perform in Vietnam since the end of the Vietnam War in 1975

1996 [12] Jamaican anti-drug police mistakenly fire on a seaplane carrying Jimmy Buffett & U2′s Bono

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1936 [72] 1st ‘Photo-Finish’ camera (Florida’s Hialeah Race Track)

1957 [51] 1st non-stop, around-the-world commercial airplane flight (how did anyone ever get off?)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Get to Know Your Customer Day
[Thurs-Jan 27] 2008 Sundance Film Festival
[Fri] Winnie the Pooh Day
[Fri] “Cloverfield”; “Mad Money”; “27 Dresses” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Penguin Awareness Day
[Sun] Philately Day
[Mon] Martin Luther King Day (USA)
This Week Is … Skating Week
This Month Is … Coffee Gourmet Month

BULL’S BITS

WHAT YOUR NAIL COLOR SAYS ABOUT YOU:
Color consultant Pam Bell says a woman’s personality is revealed by her fingernail polish. For instance …
• Red is worn by natural leaders with strong convictions who want to be noticed.
• Pink is the favorite of women with a romantic side who also make reliable friends.
• Orange nails are for women who seek out trends and like big city life.
• Wild colors like blue & green indicate women with a rebellious streak
• French manicures are for those who want to appear groomed but also look like the ‘girl next door’.
• Those who wear no polish are self-sufficient but tend to commit to too many projects.

BS WHYZITS:
• Whyzit your favorite song always comes on the radio just as you’re getting out of your car?
• Whyzit teens express their burning desire to be different by dressing exactly the same?
• Whyzit light switches say ‘on/off’? When it’s ‘on’ you can see it’s on, when it’s ‘off’ you can’t see it all.
• Whyzit we demand speed limits to prevent people from driving too fast but won’t buy a car if it can’t go over 100 mph / 160 kph?
• Whyzit it humans are the only creatures on Earth that allow their children to come back home?

BS PHONE STARTER:
What classic TV show would you like to see re-made?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Imagine how prolific Shakespeare would have been with a computer.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Right now about 1 in 10,000 people does THIS. Soon a lot more will.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Lives to be 100.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Let no one belittle your integrity without paying you good money to do so.


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