Monday, January 29, 2007        Edition: #3455
Thanks For Being a Bull Market!

• Mere hours after a rumor began circulating that 45-year-old George Clooney & 39-year-old Pamela Anderson have been ‘enjoying dog walks together’ as well as a romantic dinner date which ended up with her sitting in his lap, Clooney has released a statement saying, “I worked with Pam 7 years ago and haven’t seen her since. And I’ve never been to that restaurant.” (So much for that juicy twosome! Hmm, who could’ve have started that story?)
– “Us Weekly”
• 28-year-old Katie Holmes has turned down close to $2 million to reprise her role as ‘Rachel Dawes’ in the sequel to “Batman Begins” due to ‘scheduling conflicts’. Apparently she’d rather appear in a flick called “Mad Money”, an all-female comedy caper which reportedly pays a measly $250,000. (Another example of ‘Cruise Control’?)
– “Wall Street Journal”
• Just as David & Victoria Beckham prepare to invade Hollywood, they’re considering doing “Living With the Beckhams”, a TV reality series modeled on “The Osbournes” which would follow the power couple around as they adjust to life on the other side of the pond. (Eck! They haven’t even moved yet and we’re already sick-to-death of hearing about them!)
• At least 30,000 jobs in Los Angeles are now tied directly to reality television production. In fact, reality shows now amount to 40% of all on-location TV production in LA, LAST YEAR totaling a collective 8,397 days of filming. (Remember when they made movies in Hollywood?)
– “LA Times”
• 37-year-old actress Jennifer Aniston is apparently hearing her biological clock ticking, ticking, ticking. But with no boyfriend in sight, she’s said to be looking to join the ranks of single moms in Hollywood who’ve adopted. Word is she’s spent the past several weeks consulting adoption experts and is looking for a newborn American baby girl. (The new celeb accessory … ‘Baby Bling’.)
– “National Enquirer”
• 20-year-old actress Lindsay Lohan is upsetting residents at LA’s Wonderland Center rehab facility where she checked in earlier THIS MONTH because they think she’s treating the joint like a hotel. They claim she gets special treatment, regularly bringing in her own masseur, hairstylist and makeup artist. She’s also being allowed to continue working on her new movie while in rehab. But the final straw reportedly came when she took a break from rehab the other day to go shopping … and have her Mercedes serviced. (This is the ‘Club Fed’ of rehab facilities!)
– “Teen Hollywood”
• Meantime, Lohan has become very unpopular in Hollywood. Top screen stars including Jack Nicholson & Morgan Freeman have reportedly told their agents to turn down flat any movie that has her name attached to it. It seems the old guard think she’s just a silly minor celeb who brings shame to their profession. They hope that by sticking together, they can shut her out.
– “The Sun”
• Justin Timberlake isn’t wasting any time getting back in the saddle after his split from Cameron Diaz. He’s been spending a lot of time lately with a gal who’s also on the rebound – former “7th Heaven” star Jessica Biel. Though Biel had recently been dating NY Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter, it looks like she’s moved on, jetting in to the “Sundance Film Festival” to be with JT. (What is it women find attractive about him … his oily complection or his wispy beard?)
– “The Bosh”

• Akon – He says he doesn’t like to talk about an acquisition he made in 2005 because his ownership deal is ‘complicated’. What is it? A South African diamond mine, allowing this hip-hop star to manufacture his own bling!
• BB King – The 81-year-old, Grammy-winning bluesman is said to be doing fine after being released from a Galveston TX hospital SATURDAY following treatment for a fever.
• Crystal Gayle – LAST WEEK the veteran country singer reported her tour bus stolen. It’s been recovered at the International Speedway in Lakeland FL after it was driven in by an escaped convict from South Carolina. There’s a country song in there somewhere!
• Evanescence – TONIGHT they perform on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• James Brown – His 6 adult children have filed an ‘emergency petition’ to have the trustees of his estate removed, claiming some assets are in danger of being ‘lost, dissipated or stolen’. A hearing in the matter is set for THURSDAY. Among the things being ‘dissipated’ – his body. Would somebody please bury the poor guy?
• Katharine McPhee – TONIGHT she promotes her self-titled debut album (out TOMORROW) on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno (NBC/A Channel).
• Mariah Carey – She’s posing for a spread in the MARCH issue of “Playboy” magazine, but will stop short of baring all. Just showing of her class, we presume.
• Norah Jones – THIS MORNING she flogs her new album “Not Too Late” (out TOMORROW) on the “Today Show” (NBC).
• Sheryl Crow – THIS MORNING she’s on “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV).
• Toni Braxton – TODAY she’ll be whining about her recently dropped recording contract on “The View” (ABC/CTV).

A new study shows that children in homes full of books and educational games are less likely to get spanked. Lead researcher Andrew Grogan-Kaylor of the University of Michigan says a home environment that is intellectually stimulating gives kids an opportunity to work through their emotions, think about the consequences of their actions, and imagine possibilities for alternative actions in the future. The new research reveals the flip side of recent studies that have found corporal punishment can cause children to develop antisocial behavioral, such as lying, cheating, and hitting as they grow older. (For more info, search under ‘video gamers’.)

According to a new survey by a dating agency, here are the professions that are considered the most desirable for women to date …
5. Corporate Executives
4. Journalists
3. Financiers/Financial Planners
2. Environmental Scientists
1. Pediatricians
(And let’s see, Radio Broadcasters are also listed here … at number 842.)
– “GQ”

 Professor Ben Mephan of Britain’s Nottingham University, an expert in the field of genetically-modified animals, warns that the next step in the science of bio-engineered clones could be creating ‘zombie’ animals that are completely oblivious to the harsh surroundings of the factory farms in which they are bred. Mephan claims scientists are already trying to develop ways to remove the stress and aggression genes from animals such as cows, pigs and chickens in order to turn them into ‘farmyard freaks’ unable to feel the suffering of normal farm animals on their way to slaughter. (So let’s see … allowing the suffering is better?)
– “Daily Mail”

• In China, a 32-year-old Chongqing man has convinced his new wife to undergo plastic surgery so she’ll resemble … his first wife. Zhao Gang lost his first spouse in a car accident 3 years ago and now wants his new wife to look exactly like his dead wife. (While she was alive, that is.)
• In England, a jilted bride in Dorset decided to go ahead with her wedding by having her pet pooch fill in for the bridegroom who bailed out just 2 weeks before the big day. 41-year-old Emma Knight wore the $3,000-wedding gown she’d bought for the occasion and partied until dawn with 100 guests. Her faithful dog ‘Dennis’ was dressed as the bridegroom and was even allowed to chomp on his share of the 4-tier wedding cake. (We don’t wanna know about the honeymoon.)
• In Italy, a park where passionate couples can get ‘frisky’ is set to open in the southern port town of Bary. It seems many young Italian couples find it hard to be intimate as the high cost of living is forcing them to live with their parents longer. Entrepreneur Giuseppe Foggetti says his new park for ‘parking’ will provide them security and privacy – for a fee. Admission costs $4; each half-hour of hot passion afterward will cost a couple $2. (Sort of like a brothel … outdoors.)

A common parasite which is carried by about 40% of the human population has been found to make men less intelligent and women more promiscuous. New studies suggest that ‘toxoplasma gondii’, a parasite which was thought to be harmless to healthy people actually causes strange behavioral changes in those infected. According to Dr Nicky Boulter of Australia’s Institute for the Biotechnology of Infectious Diseases, men infected with the parasite have lower IQs, shorter attention spans, and are more anti-social, suspicious, jealous and morose. Meanwhile, the same parasite effects woman completely differently, making them more friendly, outgoing, promiscuous, and even making them appear more attractive to men than uninfected women. (Toxoplasma gondii is more commonly known as … beer.)
– “Sydney Morning Herald”

Neuropsychology professor Sergio Della Salla of Scotland’s University of Aberdeen has become one of the world’s foremost experts on what called ‘Anarchic Hand’. That’s when one hand seems to have a will of its own and ‘argues’ with the other hand about things like which TV channel to watch or what to eat. Only 40 cases of the odd condition have been documented worldwide. Della Salla says sufferers are aware of the bizarre and potentially hazardous behavior of their hand but have great difficulty controlling it. (“Honest mom, my hand entered the cookie jar on it’s own!”)
– “Curious Times”

In Beijing, China a stuntman has pulled a car for more than 200 meters (219 yards) … with his ears … while riding a motorcycle. With his ears attached to metal clamps, in turn connected to steel wires, 36-year-old Wang Lianhai pulled the 1.2-tonne (1.3-ton) car with a driver sitting inside. His next ambition is to pull … a ship.
– “Beijing Evening News”

• The candies most likely to cause tooth decay are dark chocolate and fudge.
• $4.8 million will buy most people everything they think they need in order to be happy.


1945 [62] Tom Selleck, Detroit MI, movie actor (“Three Men & a Baby”)/former TV actor (“Magnum PI” 1980-88)

1954 [53] Oprah Winfrey, Kosciusko MS, 1st woman to own & produce her own TV talk show (“Oprah” since 1986)/movie producer & actress (“Beloved”)/magazine publisher (“O”)/philanthropist (Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls, South Africa)

1968 [39] Ed Burns, Woodside NY, movie actor (“The Holiday”, “Saving Private Ryan”)/movie producer/director (“Sidewalks of New York”, “She’s the One”)

1970 [37] Heather Graham, Milwaukee WI, movie actress (“Bobby”, “Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me”)

1975 [32] Sara Gilbert (Abeles), Santa Monica CA, TV actress (‘Fern’ on “The Class” 2006-07, ‘Jane Figler’ on “ER” since2004, “Roseanne” 1988-97)/half-sister of actress Melissa Gilbert

• “Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day”, observed annually on the final Monday of January to salute the product that’s not just an efficient packing material but also an addictive pastime!
Don’t have any handy to pop? Try some ‘virtual bubblewrap’ here …

• “Corn Chip Day”. Ask listeners to put 10 of them in their mouths and whistle a tune.

• “Day of Ashura”, the Islamic observance that literally translates to the ‘10th day’.  According to Muslim tradition, Muhammad fasted on this day and asked others to follow his example.

• “Free Thinker’s Day”, celebrating the fact that everyone has the right to agree with what you think.

• “Miss America Pageant” airs live from the Aladdin Resort & Casino in Las Vegas (CMT), hosted by “Dancing With the Stars” runner-up Mario Lopez. The pageant ‘preliminaries’ (swimsuit, talent & evening wear competitions) have already been held.

• “Puzzle Day”, celebrating one of our favorite pastimes. What’s your fave: Jigsaw or Crossword?

1959 [48] Disney classic “Sleeping Beauty” is released in theaters … to mixed reviews  FACTOID: In a new series of Disney ads shot by famed photographer Annie Leibovitz, David Beckham plays “Sleeping Beauty’s” prince, riding a huge white horse.

2006 [01] News anchor Bob Woodruff (“ABC Evening News”) & his Canadian cameraman Doug Vogt are seriously injured by a roadside bomb in Iraq (he’ll tell his story on the news special, “To Iraq and Back: Bob Woodruff Reports”, airing FEBRUARY 27th)

1796 [211] Toronto’s main drag, Yonge Street, takes its name from British Minister of War, Sir George Yonge

1900 [107] ‘American League’ organized, with 8 baseball teams (Indianapolis, Buffalo, Chicago, Detroit, Cleveland, Kansas City, Milwaukee, and Minneapolis)

1936 [71] 1st players elected to ‘Baseball Hall of Fame’ (Ty Cobb, Honus Wagner, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth & Walter Johnson)

1963 [44] 1st members of ‘NFL Hall of Fame’ are announced in Canton OH (Jim Thorpe, Red Grange & George Halas)

1995 [12] 1st NFL team to win 5 Super Bowls (San Francisco 49ers defeat San Diego Chargers 49-26)

[Tues] Microsoft’s ‘Windows Vista’ officially goes on sale
[Wed] Backwards Day
[Thurs] Bubble Gum Day
[Fri] Groundhog Day

Catholic Schools Week / Celebrity Read-A-Book Week / International Clergy Appreciation Week  / International Green Week / Activity Professionals Week / Cross-Country Skiing Week / Glaucoma Week


The new “Fish ‘n Flush Aquarium Kit” allows you to add a 2.2-gallon aquarium to your … toilet tank. Yep, a see-through aquarium mounted on your throne so your pet fish can ‘watch your back’. Plus, when they die, it’s a very short trip to the ‘graveyard’. Priced at only $299.
PHONER: 714.898.7016 (Aqua One Technologies, Westminster CA)

Is it fun to see vintage TV show casts reunite as the actors from “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” (1970-77) did for LAST NIGHT’s “SAG Awards” … or is it kind of sad to see 70-to-80 year-old has-beens still hungry for the limelight?

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted a pay cheque.

Today’s Question: People who do THIS for a living see a 25% increase in business in JANUARY.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Photocopy repair. A result of holiday office parties?

Boredom is a sign of unused potential.

Refer a friend to “The Bull Sheet” and get a FREE MONTH! We bonus your account for each and every new subscriber you refer.

Printer Friendly Version