Monday, January 22, 2007        Edition: #3450
You’ve Got Yourself in Deep Sheet!

WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• 38-year-old Heather Mills has reportedly finally agreed to a $63-million cash & property settlement in a hush-hush out-of-court divorce deal with Paul McCartney. Mills will bag McCartney’s $12-million Beverly Hills CA mansion plus his $8-million London home and earn close to $2 million-a-year in interest from the cash sum alone. That means overall she’ll pocket around $2,000-an-hour for her 4-year marriage, about the same amount she reportedly charged in her earlier days as a call girl. McCartney is said to have agreed because he’s desperate to keep divorce details private. The deal was drawn up by the same legal team that thrashed out Prince Charles & Princess Diana’s 1996 divorce … only this one is worth about twice as much!
– “News of the World”
• THIS WEEK daytime drama “The Guiding Light” (CBS) is celebrating its 70th anniversary (debuted on radio in 1937; moved to TV in 1952) by shutting down production in NYC and taking the cast & crew to the Gulf Coast where show volunteers will help rebuild homes hit by Hurricane Katrina, and a special episode of the soap will be filmed for FEBRUARY 14th.
– “Hollywood Reporter”
• Soon-to-be LA Galaxy soccer star David Beckham has reportedly already bought a large share of a sports management agency in the USA.
– PopBitch.com
• David & Victoria Beckham won’t be moving to Neverland. Michael Jackson’s rep is denying reports the British immigrants have been looking at the sprawling Santa Barbara CA ranch that’s currently on the market, calling the story ‘laughable’. Actually, it sounds like it might be a good fit!
– “MSNBC Scoop”
• After pleading guilty to assaulting a former housekeeper with a cellphone LAST WEEK, always-angry model Naomi Campbell has signed up for a guest role on “Ugly Betty” (ABC/CityTV). She’ll play a loony who loves to shop and can’t find a man in the episode that will air later THIS YEAR.
– “Daily Express”
• A Russian teenager accused of stalking 20-year-old pop singer/actress Hilary Duff has been sentenced to 117 days in jail & 5 years’ probation. 18-year-old Maksim Myaskovskiy tried to contact Duff in the neighborhood of her then-boyfriend, Good Charlotte rocker Joel Madden, then was arrested after threatening to harm her at an event she was scheduled to attend.
– “Contact Music”
• Fans of “Grey’s Anatomy” are going to be seeing a lot less of 31-year-old co-star Sara Ramirez who plays ‘Dr Callie Torres‘. The 5-foot-9 actress has dropped 25 lbs and now weighs in at a svelte 145. The curvy Latina says she did it with exercise and a sensible diet, avoiding the quick fixes she tried in the past.
– “National Enquirer”
• 31-year-old actress Drew Barrymore just recently split with longtime boyfriend, Strokes drummer Fabrizio Moretti, but she’s already been linked to a new man – 51-year-old actor Bruce Willis! Word is they were ‘making out’ in front of everybody at Prince’s “Golden Globes” after-party. Was their hook-up a booze-fueled mistake or will their passion last? Only time will tell.
– “New York Daily News”
• And are Kirsten Dunst (“Spider-Man”) & Adam Brody (”The OC”) a new Hollywood item? The duo were looking awfully cozy at LA hotspot Hyde recently, witnesses say.
– “Us Weekly”

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alicia Keys – TONIGHT she performs on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Bow Wow – TONIGHT he’s on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel).
• Madonna – On her next album, word has it she’s collaborating with Pharrell Williams, Andre 3000 from Outkast, and Snoop Dogg.
• Nas – TONIGHT he does “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).

BEST PINS IN HOLLYWOOD:
According to a new poll, they’ve got legs and they know how to use them …
10. “Desperate Housewives” actress Eva Longoria.
9. “American Idol” alum Katharine McPhee.
8. Pop singer Christina Aguilera.
7. Country singer Carrie Underwood.
6. Movie star Halle Berry.
5. Wrestler-turned-“Dancing with the Stars” contestant Stacy Keibler.
4. MTV personality & Nick Lachey fiancée Vanessa Minnillo.
3. Actress Jennifer Aniston.
2. Fashion model Gisele Bundchen.
1. Oscar-winning actress Charlize Theron.
– “In Touch”

HELLUVA ROCK:
Astronomers have discovered the largest diamond in the universe in the core of an old star about 50 light-years from Earth in the constellation of Centaurus. The 10-billion-trillion-trillion carat diamond measuring at least 4,000 kilometers across is a massive chunk of crystallized carbon, technically a white dwarf left over after the star burned itself out. Officially known as ‘BPM 37093′, the diamond has been nicknamed “Lucy” after The Beatles song “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds”. Astronomers say that our Sun will also become a white dwarf in about 5 billion years, leaving a massive cosmic diamond in the center of what’s left of our solar system.
– BBC News

ROVER ISN’T 190, AFTER ALL:
The common practice of equating dog years to 7 human years simply doesn’t work. Why? A dog is in its physical, mental and reproductive prime by its 1st birthday, more like a 17-year-old human than a 7-year-old. It is true that after the age of 2, every dog year is about the same as 5 human years but experts say that is still ball-parking. Toy dogs live much longer than giant breeds, so the line between youth and old age isn’t universal among all dogs.
– “Harrowsmith Country Life”

STILL WAITING FOR FLYING CARS:
The World Future Society predicts we are only about 25 years away from what’s being dubbed ‘techlepathy’ – techno-enabled telepathy – in which wireless technology implanted into our brains will enable us to communicate silently. In theory, the ability to wire nano-robotics to our neurons will also enhance our brains with powerful computer processing abilities. So far, there’s no word on what’s going to stop ‘mind hacking’.  But according to one expert, the new technology will be ‘as safe as having a cellphone inside one’s head’. Now that’s reassuring!
– “Curious Times”

NO PROMOTION IF YOU STAY HOME:
So-called ‘telecommuters’, who work at least part-time at home, are less likely to get promoted than their peers who head into the office every day according to a new global survey of 1,300 executives. That’s the bottom line, even though most executives consider telecommuters to be at least as productive as their desk-bound colleagues. Could it be envy? Seems so … fully 75% of the top execs polled say they’d like to have a job in which they could regularly telecommute.
– “Los Angeles Times”

2007′S WEALTHIEST WOMEN IN ENTERTAINMENT:
10. Actress Jennifer Aniston ($110 million).
9. Singer/actress Jennifer Lopez ($110 million+).
8. Movie star Julia Roberts ($140 million).
7. Singer Janet Jackson ($150 million).
6. Singer Mariah Carey ($225 million).
5. Singer Celine Dion ($250 million).
4. Singer Madonna ($325 million).
3. Multimedia home arts & decor maven Martha Stewart ($638 million).
2. “Harry Potter” author JK Rowling ($1 billion).
1. TV personality/media mogul Oprah Winfrey ($1.5 billion).
– “Forbes Magazine”

BIG MOTHER’S WATCHING YOU:
MySpace intends to give parents a tool with which they can monitor their kids’ activity on the social networking site MySpace. The software will report back to parents on such things as the age, location and other identifiable info about those listed on their MySpace pages. It also allows the parent to view the child’s inbox. Kids need not worry, however, as the software will not be capable of translating emo-speak into anything remotely understandable to parents.
– TinFoil.music

BEFORE YOU BOOK THAT WINTER CRUISE …
When the ocean liner ‘Queen Elizabeth 2′ docked at Southampton, England on JANUARY 2, it  one passenger short. A 62-year-old German woman was missing. She’s just one of a growing list of people who have disappeared from cruise ships in mysterious circumstances. Some of these deaths may be suicides but others appear more sinister according to Gwyn Topham, author of the new book “Overboard: The Stories Cruise Lines Don’t Want Told”, who points out that there are no police to investigate out on the ocean. The cruise industry admits that more than 30 passengers have disappeared from ships in the past 5 years, and that figure excludes those known to have been the victims of suicide or drunken accidents.
– “The Guardian”

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• A recent poll finds that the majority of men would much rather work more and get a 50% raise than work less and spend more time with their families.
• More than 10% of all the salt produced annually in the world is used to de-ice North American roads. What a waste! It could be used for something useful … like tequila shooters.

SHE SAID IT:
“I never get lonely. I love being alone and being by myself. I’m good at it, not in a weird leave-me-alone way, but I’m very comfortable by myself.”
– Actress Cameron Diaz, telling “OK! Magazine” she doesn’t miss ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake at all … honest … never think of him.

HE SAID IT:
“There are times, trust me, when I watch [“American Idol”] and I say, ‘God, I wish I hadn’t said that’.”
– “American Idol” judge Simon Cowell apologizing for calling a bug-eyed contestant a ‘bush baby’ during auditions that aired LAST WEEK.

THE BULL SHEET 01.22.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949 [58] Steve Perry, Hanford CA, classic rock singer (“Oh Sherry”, Journey-“Open Arms”)

1952 [55] Teddy Gentry, Ft Payne AL, retired country singer (Alabama-“Reckless”, “Can’t Keep a Good Man Down”)/CMA ‘Entertainer of the Year’ 1982-84/ACM ‘Entertainer of the Year’ 1981-85/RIAA ‘Country Group of the 20th Century’/23 American Music Awards/a record 21 consecutive #1 country hits

1965 [42] Diane Lane, NYC, movie actress (“Under the Tuscan Sun”, “Unfaithful”)

1981 [26] Beverley Mitchell, Arcadia CA, TV actress (‘Lucy Camden’ on “Seventh Heaven” since 1996)/movie actress (“Saw II”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day”, a day to concentrate on your feline and answer the questions you think it’s asking.
• “Celebration of Life Day”, a day to honor the gift of children and grandchildren.
• “Healthy Weight Week”, the 14th annual through Saturday, highlighted by “Rid the World of Fad Diets & Gimmicks Day” (TUESDAY); and “Women’s Healthy Weight Day” (THURSDAY), a day to honor women of all sizes and confirm that ‘beauty, talent and love cannot be weighed’.
NET: http://www.healthyweightnetwork.com/hww.htm
• “St Vincent’s Day”, honoring the patron saint of wine growers. Tradition says: ‘Sunshine on St Vincent’s Day means the year’s wine will be more plentiful than water’. We’ll drink to that!
• “Speak Up & Succeed Day”. Tomorrow is ‘You’re Fired, You Loudmouth Troublemaker Day’.
• “Unification of Ukraine Day”, celebrating Ukraine’s formation in 1919. There are over 1 million people of Ukranian origin in Canada, making them the country’s 8th-largest ethnic group and giving Canada the world’s 3rd-largest Ukrainian population after Ukraine and Russia. Have you noticed that the capital we used to call ‘Kiev’ is now officially spelled ‘Kyiv’ and pronounced ‘kay-YEEV’? Can messes up the name of that chicken dish you find in restaurants, doesn’t it?

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1992 [15] Canada’s 1st female astronaut (Roberta Bondar lifts off in space shuttle ‘Discovery’ as Canada’s 2nd astronaut)

1997 [10] USA’s 1st female Secretary of State (Madeleine Albright)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1943 [64] Temperature rises 49 degrees F in 2 minutes in Spearfish SD

1964 [43] World’s ‘Largest Cheese’ (34,590 lbs/15,723 kg) produced in Wisconsin
1982 [25] It’s estimated that 75% of North America is covered by snow

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Academy Award nominations announced
[Tues] Handwriting Day
[Tues] Measure Your Feet Day
[Tues] Compliment Day
[Wed] 55th NHL All-Star Game (Dallas TX)
[Thurs] Robbie Burns Day
[Fri] Australia Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Hunt For Happiness Week / Bald Eagle Appreciation Days / Creative Frugality Week / Handwriting Analysis Week / Nurse Anesthetists Week / Take Back Your Time Week / Women in Blue Jeans Week / Medical Group Practice Week / No Name Calling Week

BULL’S BITS

SAY WHAT?
Have you tried to read your kids’ school newsletter lately? Here’s a listing of some of the gobble-speak terminology used by modern educators – with translations into English …
• ‘Extended Constructed Response’ — An Essay
• ‘Evidence of Student Learning’ – Marks
• ‘Formative Assessment’ – A Test
• ‘Reflection Room’ – Detention Room
• ‘Selected Response’ – Multiple Choice
• ‘Standard Units of Credit’ – Classes
• ‘Sustained Silent Reading’ or ‘SSR’ – Reading to Yourself
– “Washington Post”

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• What’s the worst movie of all-time? (“Spice World The Movie” tops a new MSN poll, followed by “Grease 2”. Also making the list: “Waterworld”, “Batman & Robin” and “Gigli”.)
• Should Paula Abdul go into rehab?
• Is “American Idol” too mean?

BS PEOPLE & COLORS TEST:
Here’s a fun experiment to try on your crew/a listener/studio guest. Ask them to think of someone whom they know personally that they can associate with the following colors (no repeat answers; a new person for each color): Yellow, Orange, Red, White, and Green. After they’ve given their answers, explain what they mean …
• Yellow – Somebody who will never forget you.
• Orange – Someone whom you can consider your real friend.
• Red – Someone you really love.
• White – Your soul-mate.
• Green – A person whom you will always remember for the rest of your life.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: A third of office workers say THIS is the only thing they like about going to work.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Office gossip.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
No one is listening until you make a mistake.


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