Tuesday, January 16, 2007        Edition: #3446
It’s Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT “American Idol 6” season gets underway with a 2-night, 4-hour premiere (FOX/CTV) that kicks off 24 hours of auditions, performances & semi-final eliminations before the 12 finalists are chosen . . . 60-year-old movie actor Sylvester Stallone confirms that he’s done his last “Rocky” film but now he’s threatening to do 1 more “Rambo” before also laying that series to rest . . . 53-year-old documentary filmmaker Ken Burns (“Baseball”, “The Civil War”) has signed a deal that is essentially a lifetime contract, with PBS agreeing to exclusively air his works until 2022 . . . Negotiations are underway to make CBS-TV shows available on Google’s recently acquired YouTube, where the content will be sponsored by different advertisers . . . Courtney Love has acquired the rights to “Heavier Than Heaven”, Charles Cross’ biography of her late husband Kurt Cobain who committed suicide in 1995, and plans to turn it into a movie . . . Reports say 40-year-old former heavyweight boxing champ Mike Tyson was running away from a Phoenix drug rehab facility when he was recently busted for suspicion of DUI & cocaine possession (he apparently bolted the strict regimen after just 9 days) . . . Kelly Osbourne is telling anyone who’ll listen that her pop music career failed to take off because she’s the daughter of wildman rocker Ozzy (nothing to do with the fact you can’t sing then?) . . . Makers of the TV drama “Lost” are talking with ABC execs about setting an end date for the series in order to make it easier for the show’s writers to follow a logical storyline (hey, why start now?) . . . And 80-year-old “Playboy” founder Hugh Hefner says he’s considering giving 26-year-old Holly Madison (1 of his 3 live-in girlfriends) the baby she desperately wants (it will be all wrinkly and regularly wet himself … just like pop!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• All-American Rejects – TONIGHT they perform on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel).
• David Bowie – He’s re-releasing most of his back catalogue in 3 separate installments. The first collection featuring his earliest work is out TODAY.
• Diana Ross – TODAY she flogs her new album “I Love You” on both “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) and “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Dierks Bentley – His new music video “Long Trip Alone” is now available for online streaming at CMT.com. In one scene, his trademark curly hair is sheared off in a Mexican jail, thereby explaining his new look.
• Kylie Minogue – A respiratory infection has forced her to cancel at least 2 concerts in the UK on her comeback tour following treatment for breast cancer. Meantime, Madame Tussauds in London has made their new Kylie Minogue wax figure the first to smell. The newly unveiled perma-grinning clone is scented with her ‘Darling’ perfume.
• Mary J Blige – TODAY she’s a guest on the “Oprah WInfrey Show” (syndicated/CTV), along with Carly Simon and  Corinne Bailey Rae.
• Rolling Stones – Mick Jagger insisted on changing the name of the new ABC-TV comedy that features a band of rogues trying to rip him off. Originally titled “Let’s Rob Mick Jagger”, it’s now known by the less-colorful “Knights Of Prosperity”. It’s unclear whether Jagger will appear on the show again but other music stars, including Sting, will do guest shots.
• Snoop Dogg – TONIGHT the candid TV show “Bigg Snoop Dogg’s Youth Authority: California” airs (Spike), in which he relates his own experiences with gang life and selling drugs.
• Taylor Hicks – TODAY he guests on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV).

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Employee of the Month” ( PG-13 Romantic Comedy): Dane Cook & Dax Shepard play 2 employees at ‘Super Club’ (looks a lot like Costco) who battle to become the month’s top employee and win a date with a beautiful new cashier (Jessica Simpson). Co-stars Andy Dick.
• “Gridiron Gang” ( PG-13 Sports Drama ): Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson stars in this true story of a juvenile detention camp probation officer who turns a group of hardcore teen delinquents into a competitive high school football team in just 4 weeks. Co-stars hip-hop artist Xzibit.
• “Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): The producers behind the successful 2003 remake of 1974′s “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” return to deliver this prequel which details the origin of ‘Leatherface’. No-name cast.

WAYS MEN HAVE GOTTEN BETTER:
First came the caveman, then the powdered-wig man, then the Marlboro Man. It seems guys evolve slowly, but women are loving these recent improvements …
• They love alpha women. In example, Brad Pitt has basically become Angelina Jolie’s lackey.
• The age of the blow-dried, dark-suited somber TV anchorman is over, making room for realer, spunkier, not-afraid-to-cry-on-TV good guys like Anderson Cooper (CNN).
• They’re aging so very well these days, ie: Viggo Mortensen, George Clooney, Ed Harris…and, even still, Paul Newman.
• They’ve stopped wearing their pants around their knees. On a recent “Ellen Degeneres Show” rapper Kanye West actually wore tailored jeans and an old-school “Les Miz” sweatshirt.
• They still don’t ask for directions, but they’ve all got GPS so now they don’t need to. Only downside: fewer pee breaks for the womenfolk!
• They now nature and nurture. The number of male Registered Nurses has doubled in the past 20 years. Also up: male preschool teachers, librarians and nannies.
• They’re better dads than ever. That’s why baby companies target men’s egos and wallets with vehicles like the Jeep Liberty Stroller (Limited XT Urban Terrain).
– “Glamour”

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN LOW?
About half a million Canadian workers experience depression and most of them say the symptoms interfere with their ability to work, according to a new study released by Stats Can. Almost 4% of surveyed workers age 25-to-64 admit they experienced depression in the previous 12 months. Of those who’d been depressed, about 80% say the symptoms interfered with their ability to work to some extent. Depressed workers report an average of 32 days when their symptoms left them either unable to carry out normal activities or totally unable to work.
– “National Post”

THE UPSIDE OF CLIMATE CHANGE:
A Colorado woman is in the business of selling snowballs online to areas that have a lack of snow due to climate change or warm winters. After the recent blizzards that slammed Colorado, Mary Walker of Loveland became fed up with shoveling. Using her copywriting skills, she wrote an ad to sell snowballs through eBay, not completely expecting to make a sale. She was surprised to receive inquiries from as far away as Austria and Russia. Now she’s getting up to a few hundred dollars for shipping snow.
– “Denver Post”

FIGHT OR FLIGHT:
A new Baylor University study shows that the nature of fights between spouses may reveal whether the couple will stay together or get a divorce. Researchers focused mainly on whether test subjects used positive or negative communication during an argument. If more things are said that signal a willingness to cooperate on a solution, it can make a big difference, according to lead researcher Keith Sanford.
– AHN

BIG BOAT:
Russian oil tycoon-turned-British soccer team owner (Chelsea FC) Roman Abramovich is currently having the world’s largest privately owned yacht built in Germany at an estimated cost of $400 million. “The Eclipse” will boast 2 helicopter landing pads, several hot tubs, a private cinema, a swimming pool and a submarine. It will require a crew of at least 50 and will reportedly measure 550-feet-long. Security features will include bullet-proof glass, motion sensors, as well as a rumored missile detection system.
– “GQ”

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• Greg Marshall & Adrienne Foley just got married in Levin, New Zealand then played 18 holes of mini-golf to decide … who would relinquish their surname. The groom came out 3 strokes ahead of the bride (still in her wedding dress), so it’ll be Mrs Marshall after all.
• European men are rushing to Bulgaria to buy ‘Boza’ beer, which is said to boost the size of … women’s breasts. Made from fermented wheat flour and yeast, the beverage has become popular among men as gifts for their wives and/or girlfriends. We wonder what women are buying to help out their men.
• Australian designer Aheda Zanetti has unveiled the ‘Burqini’, a modest bathing costume designed for water-going Muslim women who, because of religious values, cannot show more than their face, hands and feet in public. A cross between a burqa and a bikini, the polyester suit is made up of pants and a long-sleeved knee-length A-line top with head covering. It is water-repellent, UV-resistant and is decorated with Arab designs.

LARGEST AMERICAN CHARITIES BY REVENUE:
5. Cleveland Clinic Foundation – $4 billion
4. United Way – $4.2 billion
3. YMCA – $5.1 billion
2. Salvation Army $5.3
1. Mayo Clinic – $6.1 billion
– “Forbes Magazine”

DON’T IT MAKE YOUR BROWN EYES BLUE?
You might be surprised to learn that your eye color can change with age. The changes often occur so slowly that people can hardly believe their old high-school photos. Sometimes the eyes darken, but most eyes lighten over time. The phenomenon has always been with us but we’re noticing it more now because of the decades-long availability of color photos and good-quality close-ups.
– “Parade Magazine”

HOLD OFF ON THAT HEART ATTACK:
If you’re planning to suffer a medical emergency, try your best to be admitted to the hospital early in the week. According to a report from a think-tank, people who arrive at a hospital near the end of the week end up staying longer because hospitals provide less services on the weekends which delays treatment and discharge. The study finds that Thursdays and Fridays are the worst days to be admitted to a hospital, with patients staying an average of a full day longer than those admitted earlier in the week.
– “Daily Mail”

DID YOU KNOW?
• 4 tablespoons of ketchup has about the same amount of nutrition as a ripe tomato.
• 90% of bird species are monogamous; only 3% of animals are.
• The average person loses some 40-to-100 strands of hair per day.

FOR THE RECORD:
• A new record has been set for the most Elvis impersonators singing at once as 147 men in big hair, sunglasses and jumpsuits simultaneously sang “Love Me Tender” at the annual “Elvis Festival” in the Western Australia town of Parkes. More than 6,000 Elvis fans descended on the town over the weekend, almost doubling its population. Canada’s “Collingwood Elvis Festival” held the previous record for most Elvis impersonators singing, with 78.
• A Hong Kong man is seeking a mention in the “Guinness Book of World Records” for a 21.6-cm (8.5-inch) piece of sunburn peel in the shape of China. 43-year-old Barry Kwok claims the skin which peeled from his chest after he was sunburned on a Hong Kong beach is the largest piece ever peeled whole from a living human.

THE BULL SHEET 01.16.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1974 [33] Kate Moss, Addiscomb UK, fashion model who’s more famous than ever after being videotaped snorting cocaine/girlfriend of Babyshambles singer Pete Doherty

1981 [26] Nick Valensi, NYC, rock guitarist (The Strokes-“Last Nite”, “Juicebox”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Elementary School Teachers Day”, honoring those who spend all day with our kids … because we certainly couldn’t.

• “Hot & Spicy Food International Day”, encouraging us to spice up our lives in order to add some zest to a winter’s day. What’s the absolute hottest thing you’ve ever put in your mouth?

• “National Non-Smoking Week” in Canada, highlighted by “Weedless  Wednesday”, the day smokers are encouraged to butt out for 24 hours.
NET: http://www.nnsw.ca/index.html

• “Work at Home With Your Spouse Day”, to encourage couples to make the most of their relationship & skills by starting a business together. What would be the biggest problem of working with your spouse?

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1939 [68] 1st appearance of “Superman” comics

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1996 [11] Jamaican anti-drug police mistakenly fire on a seaplane carrying Jimmy Buffett & U2′s Bono

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1936 [71] 1st ‘Photo-Finish’ camera (Florida’s Hialeah Race Track)

1957 [50] 1st non-stop, around-the-world commercial airplane flight (how did anyone ever get off?)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Get to Know Your Customer Day
[Thurs] Winnie the Pooh Day
[Thurs-Jan 28] 2007 Sundance Film Festival
[Fri] International Sing-Out Day
[Fri] Penguin Awareness Day
[Sat] Muharram (Islamic New Year)
[Sat] 18th Producers Guild of America Awards
This Week Is … Skating Week
This Month Is … Coffee Gourmet Month

BULL’S BITS

BS WHYZITS:
• Whyzit we can be knowledgeable with other people’s knowledge but we can’t be wise with other people’s wisdom?
• If UFOs are real, whyzit they only appear to people that are so untalented they cannot hold a camera straight or keep it in focus?
• Whyzit no matter how much manure you put on the plant it can still taste like a strawberry?
• Whyzit children are not taught how to divide up a bill for a Chinese meal 12 ways at school?
• Whyzit everything goes on sale … right after you buy it?

BS PHONE STARTER:
• What’s the most mysterious thing about the opposite gender? What is the one thing the opposite gender simply doesn’t ‘get’ about your gender?
• What outfit or article of clothing do you like to see your mate wearing the most?

BS ‘THIS OR THAT TUESDAY’:
You run down the list rapid-fire while your co-host/guest/phone caller picks their favorite option from each pair …
• Be happy but poor OR be miserable but rich?
• Be able to fly OR have the ability to read people’s minds?
• Lose your keys 3 days in-a-row OR have your dog eat your birthday cake?
• Have a foot-long eyebrow hair you can never pluck OR an earlobe the size of a basketball?
• Be able to stop time while you sleep OR never need to do laundry again?
• Be the most popular student in school OR be the smartest student in school?
• Go without TV for the rest of your life OR go without junk food for the rest of your life?
• Be known as a thief OR be known as a nerd?
• Make $100,000 per year digging holes with a shovel OR make $30,000 a year playing your favorite sport?
• Walk through a cemetery alone at night OR swim in a pond full of snapping turtles?

BS RANDOM JOKES:
• Of course I don’t look busy … I did it right the first time.
• Hey, who put this string on my finger?
• Do I look like a freakin’ people person?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 50% more employees do THIS than bosses, and those who do think they’re pretty good at it.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Wad up paper and toss it in the garbage like a basketball.            

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If nobody measures up, check your yardstick.


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