Friday, January 12, 2007        Edition: #3444
Can You Believe This Sheet?

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY production on “Desperate Housewives” is being temporarily moved to the home of cast member Marcia Cross (‘Bree Van De Kamp’), who is expecting twins in APRIL and has been ordered to bed rest by her doctor (nice to see her relaxing – with a cast & crew of 87 people in the room) . . . TONIGHT at the 12th annual “Critics Choice Awards” in LA, Leonardo DiCaprio is facing off against himself in the ‘Best Actor’ category for his work in “Blood Diamond” and “The Departed” in the first-ever double nomination (being taped for airing JANUARY 20th on E!) . . . SATURDAY Jo Dee Messina, Josh Turner & Rodney Atkins perform at Nashville’s Gaylord Entertainment Center as a highlight of “Sound & Speed”, an annual fundraiser that brings together country stars and NASCAR drivers . . . SUNDAY the much-hyped 4-hour, 2-night premiere of the 6th season of “24” kicks off (FOX) with Rick Schroeder (“Scrubs”, “NYPD Blue”) joining the cast, playing a new ‘CTU’ operative . . . McFarlane Toys is developing a ‘Jack Bauer’ action figure based on Kiefer Sutherland’s “24” character, which will be clad in a bulletproof vest and posed with his gun raised (the $12 doll isn’t scheduled for release until DECEMBER) . . . SUNDAY TV science show “Nature” (PBS) celebrates its silver anniversary with the 90-minute special, “The Best of Nature – 25 Years”, hosted by Lynn Sherr . . . Meryl Streep will star in the movie version of the hit ABBA stage musical “Mamma Mia!”, playing the mom (her first-ever musical) . . . Paul McCartney’s messy divorce from Heather Mills has been voted the ‘Biggest Public Relations Disaster’ of 2006, followed closely by Madonna’s sloppy adoption of David Banda from Malawi . . . And Madame Tussauds Las Vegas has a new interactive “American Idol” attraction that allows visitors to perform onstage in front of wax figures of Simon Cowell & Ryan Seacrest (they tried to create a Paula Abdul wax model but the hollow head kept caving in).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Carrie Underwood – Her album “Some Hearts” has just been certified quintuple-platinum by the RIAA for shipments of 5 million copies. Not bad for a debut effort!
• The Shins – TOMORROW they perform on “Saturday Night Live” (NBC), hosted by movie actor Jake Gyllenhaal (“Brokeback Mountain”).
• Sara Evans – TONIGHT the “Suds in the Bucket” country singer and short-time “Dancing With the Stars” competitor kicks off a multi-city tour in Charlotte NC.
• And the Recording Academy has announced 44 song additions to the ‘Grammy Hall of Fame’, including Van Morrison’s “Brown Eyed Girl”; George Jones’ “He Stopped Loving Her Today”; Elvis Presley’s “Are You Lonesome Tonight?”; Dolly Parton’s “I Will Always Love You”; and Bob Marley & the Wailers’ “One Love”.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Alpha Dog” ( R-Rated Crime Drama ): In director Nick Cassavetes’ take on the true story of Jesse James Hollywood, Emilie Hirsch stars as a high-rolling drug dealer who abducts the little brother of his business rival, thereby setting off a series of events that spin out of control. Co-stars Bruce Willis, Justin Timberlake, and Sharon Stone. Shot back in 2004, but tied up in legal wrangling ever since. A court ruling THIS WEEK allows it to open TODAY as scheduled, despite worries it may taint the jury pool for the upcoming murder trial in the case on which it’s based.
NET: http://www.alphadogmovie.com/
• “Arthur & the Invisibles” ( G-Rated Animated Family Fantasy): In a bid to save his grandfather’s house from being demolished, a 10-year-old boy goes looking for the much-fabled hidden treasure in the land of the ‘Minimoys’, tiny people who live in harmony with nature. Voice cast includes 14-year-old Brit actor Freddie Highmore, plus Mia Farrow, and Madonna.
NET: http://www.arthur-movie.com/
• “Miss Potter” ( PG Biographical Drama ): Renée Zellweger dons her fake British accent yet again to play the lead role in the story of Beatrix Potter, author of the beloved children’s book, “The Tale of Peter Rabbit”, outlining her struggle for love, happiness and success. Co-stars Ewan McGregor & Emily Watson.
NET: http://www.misspotter-themovie.com/
• “Primeval “ ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): Dominic Purcell (“Prison Break”) & Orlando Jones (“The Evidence”) play a news team sent to South Africa to capture and bring home a legendary 25-foot crocodile. That difficult task turns potentially deadly when a warlord targets them for execution. Shot entirely in South Africa.
NET: http://primeval.movies.go.com/
• “Stomp the Yard” ( PG-13 Musical Drama ): When a former LA juvie enrolls in an Atlanta university, 2 fraternities battle to sign him up because they believe his street-dance moves could help them win the national step-show competition. Stars Columbus Short, Meagan Good, and chart-topping recording artists Ne-Yo & Chris Brown.
NET: http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/stomptheyard/

ANIMAL DOPING:
A growing number of pets and zoo animals are being fed human anti-depressants to help them overcome anxieties and neurotic behavior. Drugs such as Prozac and Buspar have been introduced into the veterinary world to treat animals for things like separation anxiety and compulsive grooming. The Los Angeles Zoo, for instance, put a male orangutan with respiratory problems on an antidepressant after consulting with a psychiatrist. The ape’s appetite improved, it fathered a healthy baby, and it’s now being weaned off the drug. Vets admit the drugs have side-effects, but stress they should be used short-term only. (Doping up gentle creatures so they can survive lock-up … what do they think this is, a seniors’ home?)
– “LA Times”

HUMAN ZOO:
A group of people has been imprisoned in an ape enclosure in Australia to see how they behave. The ‘human apes’ will spend a whole month in the unused pen, braving the high temperatures of the Australian summer and living only on bananas. One volunteer says he’s taking part because he wants to get out of his comfort zone … plus get time off work. A psychologist is also locked in to get a view from the other side of the fence, in an attempt to find out more about enhancing the well-being of apes in captivity. All money generated from the project will go towards primate conservation. (Please don’t feed the humans!)
– “Sydney Herald Sun”

SNAP DECISIONS BETTER?
New research at University College of London has found that thinking too hard about something may lead to bad decisions. In experiments where test subjects had to identify symbols on a computer screen, those who were asked for snap decisions were correct 95% of the time while those allowed to study the images for a longer period averaged just 70% accuracy. Psychologist Kim Stephenson says the study suggests the subconscious mind is more useful for specific things, such as when you have limited time and need to react quickly. (Another reason you should never pause when the wife asks you why you’re coming home late.)
– BBC Science

RULES OF ATTRACTION:
Researchers at the University of New Mexico have found that females whose genetic defence to viruses and diseases closely mirrors that of their husbands or boyfriends are more likely to be attracted to other men. Scientists believe this is because humans can smell immune system types in partners and are naturally more attracted to those that vary most from their own. That so any resulting children will have the broadest possible defence against disease. (Yeah, that’s why the first 3 wives left … my immune system stank.)
– ANI Health & Science

BAD BOY BODY LANGUAGE:
Hey ladies, trying to read what a guy’s got on his mind? Body-language expert Patti Wood, author of “Success Signals”, says these signs signal he’s got the hots for you …
• “The Primal Point” – Facing you with legs apart, hanging his thumb off a front pocket. It’s a primal position and most guys don’t even know they’re doing it.
• “The Lusty Lean-in” – A guy who wants to get physical will stand less than an arm’s length from you, or closer, because he’s trying to create intimacy.
• “The Sensual Touch” – He may start by holding your hand or stroking your arm, then proceed to touch more sensual areas like the small of your back.
• “The Lip Licker” – A man in lust will literally look like he’s hungry, because on a carnal level, that’s exactly what he is. So if you catch him nibbling or licking his lips while looking at you, odds are you’ve whet his appetite.
– “Cosmopolitan”

YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS STUFF UP:
• In the Ukraine, emergency workers have saved a swimmer in the Black Sea from an attack by a pod of … killer dolphins. The man jumped in the near-freezing water in the booze-addled belief that it would be good for his health. He was subsequently cornered by dolphins who likely perceived him as competition for the fish they were feeding on. (Police are on the lookout for a gang of marine mammals in red head buffs, making stacking signals with their fins.)
• In China, officials are investigating how a man in Changsa is able to cook eggs … on his floor. People have been flocking to see ‘the miracle’. Liu Yawen says he first noticed something was odd when his floor gave off steam after he washed it. He then experimented by beating an egg and pouring it on the floor, and it was cooked in 10 minutes. (Bask in the limelight while you can, dude. You’ve got like 32 hours until the massive volcano blows!)
• In Argentina, Radio La Colifata FM 100.1 is the first radio station to broadcast from … a mental hospital. Based at Jose Borda Neuropsychiatric Hospital in Buenos Aires, the station is staffed by patients in an attempt to help break down public misconceptions and prejudices about the mentally ill. The name is derived from the Argentine slang ‘colifa’ meaning ‘crazy one’. (Nice to see there’s at least one other place where the lunatics have taken over the  radio station!)

THE BULL SHEET 01.12.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1951 [56] Rush Limbaugh, Cape Girardeau MO, syndicated right-wing radio host/sometime prescription drug abuser

1951 [56] Kirstie Alley, Wichita KS, TV actress (“Fat Actress” 2005, “Cheers” 1987-1993)/Jenny Craig huckster

1954 [53] Howard Stern (‘King of All Media’), Queens NY, radio ‘shock jock’ who’s promised to personally make ‘pay radio’ viable (Sirius Satellite Radio)

1960 [47] Charles Gillingham, Torrance CA, pop musician (Counting Crows-“Accidentally In Love”, “Big Yellow Taxi”)

1964 [43] Jeff Bezos, Albuquerque NM, Internet billionaire (Amazon.com founder & CEO)

1966 [41] Rob Zombie (Robert Cummings), Haverhill MA, metal rocker (“Educated Horses”) turned horror movie director (“The Devil’s Rejects”, “House of 1000 Corpses”)

1974 [33] Melanie Chisholm (‘Sporty Spice’), Whiston UK, has-been pop singer (Spice Girls-“Wannabe”)

SATURDAY –
TV actress Julia Louis-Dreyfuss (“New Adventures of Old Christine”) is 46; Country singer Trace Adkins (“Honky Tonk Badonkadonk”) is 45; TV actor Patrick Dempsey (“Grey’s Anatomy”) is 41; Movie actor Orlando Bloom (“Pirates of the Caribbean”) is 30.

SUNDAY –
TV commentator Andy Rooney (“60 Minutes”) is 88; TV actress Holland Taylor (“Two & A Half Men”) is 64; Rapper/actor LL Cool J (“Luv U Better”) is 39; Rocker Dave Grohl (Foo Fighters) is 38.

TODAY’S BS REASON TO PARTY . . .
• “Roller Skating Day”, celebrating the pastime that previously employed 4 wheels for what we now do with 2 wheels. Bow Wow’s 2005 movie “Roll Bounce” helped make traditional roller-skate jams cool again … for about a minute.

SATURDAY –
• “Door-To-Door Salespeople Day”, honoring those persistent people who are the forerunners of junk mail, telemarketing and spam.
• “Makar Sankranti”, the mid-winter festival of India and Nepal that marks the transition of the Sun beginning it’s northward journey, what’s called the ‘Uttarayan’. (Hey, if it means Spring is getting a bit closer … we’re all for it!)

SUNDAY –
• “Assembly Line Worker’s Day”, saluting those who man the front lines of manufacturing. (These days, that’s more liable to be a robot.)
• “Dress Up Your Pet Day”, time to make a fashion statement with your critter. So dress up your cute, furry pet stylishly. (Hope you have fun doing it, cuz you just know they’re gonna pay you back by depositing something in your favorite slipper.)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1997 [10] Animated TV sitcom “King of the Hill” debuts (FOX)

2004 [03] Satirical TV newsmagazine “Rick Mercer Report” debuts (CBC)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1980 [27] “Rapper’s Delight” by Sugarhill Gang peaks at #36 on pop singles chart (considered by many the first-ever rap recording)

1985 [22] Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA” tops album charts, knocking off Prince’s “Purple Rain” after 24 weeks

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1997 [10] 1st NFL Conference Championships to include 2 expansion teams (Carolina in NFC, Jacksonville in AFC)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Martin Luther King Day (USA)
[Mon] 64th Golden Globe Awards
[Mon] Hat Day
[Tues] “American Idol 6” season premiere (FOX)
[Tues] International Hot & Spicy Food Day
[Wed] Get to Know Your Customer Day
[Thurs-Jan 28] 2007 Sundance Film Festival
This Week Is … Graves’ Disease Awareness Week
This Month Is … International Quality of Life Month

BULL’S BITS

YOU ARE WHAT YOU BEFRIEND:
The type of friends you have reveals a lot about your personality, according to New York psychologist Dr Elayne Kahn. See if you can find your type …
• Friends of Your Own Gender Only – You’re more comfortable when people are in more traditional roles. You enjoy friends who have something in common with you.
• Friends of the Opposite Gender Only – You enjoy being the center of attention but don’t like competing for it. Intimacy is very important to you, and you’re capable of deep relationships.
• Friends You Just Party with – You love to socialize but don’t like people getting too close. You’re very independent and want to stay that way.
• Friends from Work – You love achieving, working hard, making money and always moving ahead. All things in your life, including friendships, are geared toward making your career as successful as possible.
• Different Friends for Different Occasions – You’re a busy, active person who’s well-organized, but don’t like to become too involved with people.
• Just One Close Friend – You don’t trust people very easily but once you do you’re very loyal.
(And if you ‘Don’t Have Any Friends’ – you’re likely an afternoon drive personality.)

TOP SWAPS:
The week’s most requested music files online …
5. Snoop Dogg – “That’s That”
4. Beyoncé – “Irreplaceable”
3. Akon – “Smack That”
2. Justin Timberlake – “My Love”
1. DJ Unk  – “Walk It Out”
– Big Champagne online music measurement

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: On average, THIS takes 45 minutes.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Grocery shopping.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Life is like a roll of toilet paper … the closer you get to the end the faster it goes.


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