Wednesday, January 10, 2007        Edition: #3442
Here’s Sheet in Your Eye!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT the new reality series “Armed & Famous” debuts (CBS), in which pseudo-celebs the likes of LaToya Jackson, Erik Estrada and Jack Osbourne receive police training and then ride along with real cops in police cruisers (LaToya Jackson with a gun – scary!) . . . 40-year-old movie star Halle Berry is rumored to be expecting a child, presumably with the assistance of her 31-year-old Canadian model-boyfriend Gabriel Aubry . . . The new issue of “Advertising Age” calculates that “American Idol” (FOX) brings in some $500 million a year in TV advertising and is conservatively valued at $2.5 billion as a franchise . . . Meantime, “American Idol” producers are looking to create yet another new revenue stream – literally – by streaming the entire program online after it airs on TV . . . Producer George Lucas has confirmed the 4th “Indiana Jones” film will begin shooting this JUNE, with Steven Spielberg directing and 64-year-old Harrison Ford starring . . . After all the sniping and griping over Daniel Craig being chosen the new ‘James Bond’, “Casino Royale” has now become the most successful ‘007′ film in box office history with $531 million worldwide and counting . . . And here’s a must-have for guys who wanna be able to say “Mine’s bigger than yours” – at THIS WEEK’s “Consumer Electronics Show” in Las Vegas, Sharp Electronics has unveiled the world’s largest TV screen, a whopping 108-inch liquid-crystal display (making each of David Letterman’s ear hairs the size of a log).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Arcade Fire – They’ll launch a European tour in Dublin, Ireland MARCH 5th and their new album, “Neon Bible”, a day afterward.
• Chris Daughtry – TONIGHT he does “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• Franz Ferdinand – Not content with just being a rock star, master chef and author, frontman Alex Kapranos is now a producer, mixing down the new album for UK rockers The Cribs.
• Madonna – It’s come to light that she agreed to pay about $40,000 toward higher education in Britain for a civil servant from the Malawian adoption ministry, just 4 months before she was granted custody of Malawian orphan David Banda. Hmm, think there’s a connection?
• Mariah Carey – She says she sleeps with 20 humidifiers around her bed in order to keep her vocal chords hydrated. Her bed is all terry-cloth and the ceiling is pitched so condensation doesn’t fall on her head.
• Paul McCartney – His estranged wife Heather Mills is planning to launch an online health and beauty business later THIS YEAR and will sell her own beauty products on the website.
• Rock Star Supernova – Their self-titled debut has reached gold status for sales of 50,000 units in Canada, but has only sold a disappointing 40,000 units in the US since its release last NOVEMBER.

THE PERSONALITY OF POLITICS:
Psychologists note that there are real differences in personality between liberals and conservatives. Liberals are messier; their homes have more clutter and more color; and they tend to have more travel documents, maps of other countries, and flags from around-the-world. Conservatives, on the other hand, live in homes that are neater, cleaner, better organized, and more brightly lit. While liberals have more books; conservatives are more likely to be religious. Liberals are more likely to like classical music and jazz; conservatives prefer country music. Liberals are more likely to enjoy abstract art; while conservatives are more conventional.
– “Psychology Today”

BS CUTTING-EDGE VOCAB:
New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Flog’ – An Internet blog that appears to be written by an individual but is actually maintained by PR personnel as a sneaky form of marketing for a company. (“That show biz site promises all the latest gossip but it’s really just a flog run by Time-Warner.”)
• ‘Silver Industry’ – Retailing jargon for the business sector that focuses on products and services for seniors. (“Here at Depends, we pride ourselves in offering the most trustworthy safety products in the silver industry …”)
• ‘Techno-creep’ – No it’s not some lech in a chat room, it’s the new term for the gradual encroachment of technology into every aspect of our lives. (“We’ve been downloading new lullabies from the web onto the baby’s iMobile. Is that techno-creep … or just creepy?”)

LIQUID BREAKDOWN:
A new study by the Milk Processor Education Program finds that liquids make up 22% of the calories in the average diet. Our daily drink consumption averages 38 ounces of water, 17.5 ounces of soft drinks; 7.5 ounces of milk; and 8.9 ounces of coffee. (They seem to have missed beer; broadcasters’ average – 8 gallons a day.)
– Reuters

BEST BOSS:
A new ranking of the best companies to work for in America …
5. Whole Foods Market
4. Container Store
3. Wegmans Food Markets
2. Genentech
1. Google
– CNN/Money.com

DOG TALES:
Researchers have found that children can improve their reading speed and confidence by reading books out loud … to dogs. This latest educational trend has seen thousands of reading programs with dogs established in schools in the US, Canada, Poland, Japan, and now the UK. Why does it work? The so-called ‘Therapy Animals’ are not judgmental. If a children stumble or mispronounce a word, they don’t laugh at them or make fun of them as other children might. (But when the story gets to an exciting part … they pee all over the floor.)
– “Times of London”

HEIGH-HO, HEIGH-HO:
So you wanna be a manager? A new survey of small business managers commissioned by office-supply retailer Staples may give you second thoughts …
• 49% say they do work while driving.
• 48% end up working during time meant for family.
• 20% say they read work-related e-mails and other documents … while in the bathroom.
– “Boston Globe”

NAPPING ON-THE-JOB:
In Thailand, the municipal office in Bangkok has launched a new program in which civil servants are invited to take an afternoon nap each day just after 12 noon. The idea is to enhance afternoon productivity. A specially designed ‘nap room’ features drawn blinds, sweet-smelling flowers and soft music in the background. No talking is allowed. (Do civil servants really need encouragement to nap on-the-job?)
– Ananova News

LAPTOP LITE:
Nokia has launched the paperback book-sized ‘Internet Tablet’, designed to allow consumers to surf the web without using a computer. The N800, priced circa $500, has a wireless Internet connection and doubles as an MP3 and video player. Instead of a separate keyboard, users just touch an on-screen keyboard. As well as connecting wirelessly through the owners’ home and/or office networks, it’s also designed to work in public hot-spots. (Just what we need, another excuse for plugged-in people to wander around, oblivious to their surroundings.)
– PA News

MOST TRUSTED PROFESSIONS:
A ranking of the professionals we trust most based on a new nationwide Gallop poll …
5. Police Officer (trusted by 54%)
4. [TIE] Clergy / College or University Teacher (58%)
3. Veterinarian (71%)
2. Pharmacist (73%)
1. Nurse (84%)
And at the bottom of the list with just a 7% trust factor – Car Sales Rep.
– “USA Today”

BS LAW & DISORDER:
• A California man has been charged with burglary after a San Jose homeowner found him under a blanket on the living room floor … fast asleep. It seems the suspect broke in, ate a can of beans, fixed himself a drink, then sacked out from all the effort.
• A man in Liverpool, England who claimed cops beat him up while he was in custody after a drunken argument has been proven a liar by security camera footage. It clearly shows that while the 46-year-old was left alone in an police interrogation room … he proceeded to punch himself repeatedly in the face.
• A Chinese court has ruled that a 20-year-old deserves a harsh penalty for shaking down and robbing a pair of 12-year-old boys outside a primary school. Li Fushou has been sentenced to 4 years in the slammer. His net take from the robbery … the equivalent of 7 cents.
• Cops in Fort Lauderdale FL say a Miami man ‘may have been intoxicated’ when he intentionally drove his Chevy Caprice into the gate of the Broward County Jail. Although he was not injured in the crash, he was immediately taken into custody … about 10 feet further inside.

SPARING THE ROD:
From a new Vanderbilt University survey of parents in the US and Canada on disciplining children …
• 45% of parents use ‘time-outs’, making it the most common form of discipline.
• 42% discipline their kids by removing privileges.
• 38% use the same disciplining methods that their own parents used on them.
• 13% yell at their children.
• 9% admit they use spanking either ‘often’ or ‘always’.
And here’s the real tell-all stat: 31% of parents, almost a third, don’t think their methods of disciplining their children work very well at all.
– Yahoo! News

BS AMAZING FACT:
More people are allergic to cow’s milk than any other food.

THE BULL SHEET 01.10.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1935 [72] Ronnie Hawkins, Huntsville AR, Canadian rock icon who assembled The Band

1938 [69] Frank Mahovlich (“The Big M”), Timmins ON, Canadian Senator/Hall of Fame NHL player

1945 [62] Rod Stewart, London UK, wrinkle-rocker (“Have You Ever Seen the Rain “, “Maggie May”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1994)

1948 [59] Donald Fagen, Passaic NJ, classic rock singer (Steely Dan-“Reeling in the Years”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2001)

1953 [54] Pat Benatar (Andrzejewski), Brooklyn NY, classic rocker (“Hit Me With Your Best Shot”)/4 consecutive Grammy Awards for ‘Best Female Rock Vocal Performance’ 1980-83

1964 [43] Brad Roberts, Winnipeg MB, pop singer (Crash Test Dummies-“Ghosts That Haunt Me”)

1978 [29] Matt Roberts, Escatawpa MS, rock guitarist (3 Doors Down-“When I’m Gone”, “Loser”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “BS Egg Balancing Day”, when you can take your average egg, place it on it’s fat end, and it will stand on its own (the key is removing your supporting fingers very, very gently). Ask listeners to try it out and call in with results. It all has to do with physics or hieroglyphics … or something.

• “Make Your Dreams Come True Day”. Well, that’s simple – just get a whole bunch of money and …

• “Peculiar People Day”, a good day to have listeners call in stories about the weird habits of people they know.

• “Volunteer Fireman’s Day”, celebrating those courageous folk who like to play dress-up and go for a ride in the big shiny truck.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1999 [08] Acclaimed TV series “The Sopranos” debuts (HBO)

2000 [07] In the biggest corporate merger ever, America Online announces it’s acquiring Time-Warner for $162 billion (well, that certainly worked out well)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1997 [10] James Brown, the ‘Godfather of Soul’, gets his star on the “Hollywood Walk of Fame”

2000 [07] Rocker Melissa Etheridge & partner Julie Cypher reveal that dinosaur rocker David Crosby is the biological father of their 2 children

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1863 [144] World’s 1st ‘Subway’ opens (the ‘Metropolitan’ in London, aka the ‘Tube’)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2000 [07] Tisdale SK bakery achieves record of 76 eggs standing for the 7th annual “BS Egg Balancing Day”, a record that still ‘stands’

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Pharmacists Day
[Thurs] Tattoo Pride Day
[Thurs] International Thank-Yous Days
[Fri] 12th Critics Choice Awards
[Sun] Assembly Line Worker’s Day
[Sun] Dress Up Your Pet Day
This Week Is … Intimate Apparel Week
This Month Is … Coffee Gourmet International Month

BULL’S BITS

YOU MIGHT BE SINGLE IF…
• You use a stapler to adjust the length of your pants.
• You eat frozen pizza without microwaving it.
• Your refrigerator is packed full of Tupperware containers filled with moldy food because you just don’t want to wash them.
• You haven’t cooked in so long you’ve forgotten which buttons to use on the stove.
• You’ve often wondered how many empty pizza boxes constitutes ‘a collection’.
• You smell your clothes to see if you can wear them … again.
• The last time you cleaned the house was when you moved in.

BS Q & A:
Q: One of your body’s glands will secrete about 25,000 quarts (about 24,000 liters) of this stuff in your lifetime. What is it?
A: Saliva. In an average lifetime, the largest salivary gland will make enough spit to fill 125 bathtubs!
– “Disney Adventures”

Q: In which country would you find the most cars driving on the left-hand side of the road?
A: Japan, with about 70 million vehicles. Britain is 2nd, followed by Australia. There are 42 countries worldwide who drive on the ‘wrong’ side of the road.
– “Top Ten of Everything”

BS BLATANT JOKE:
People take shorter honeymoons nowadays … but they take them more often.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: A survey finds THIS is the #1 affectionate name women use for their guy.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: ‘Honey bunch’ (#1 for guys is ‘Babe’).

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.

BS BOUNTY HUNTERS!
We bonus you ONE MONTH FREE service for each and every new subscriber you refer.


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