Thursday, January 4, 2007        Edition: #3438
Don’t Take Any Sheet … Unless It’s BS!

Britney Spears has quietly checked into Arizona spa Sanctuary after ‘falling asleep’ at the New Year’s Eve party she was emceeing in Vegas . . . 38-year-old “Austin Powers” actor Verne Troyer (‘Mini Me’) has checked himself into a Michigan rehab facility after falling off the wagon (he almost died of alcohol poisoning in 2002) . . . Nicole Kidman has reportedly told re-habbing hubby Keith Urban there’ll be no more concert tours unless she’s allowed to go along – and he’s apparently agreed . . . Amid reports Jessica Simpson & John Mayer spent a hot ‘n heavy New Year’s weekend in NYC comes the rumor that she’s also started a hot new romance with her “Blonde Ambition” co-star Luke Wilson . . . Since splitting with her 2-and-a-half-year hubby Dave Navarro, 34-year-old pseudo-actress Carmen Electra has reportedly been spotted ‘heavily making out’ with 48-year-old classic rocker Joan Jett (“I Love Rock ‘n Roll”) . . . Cash-strapped Michael Jackson is hoping to sell his 2,700-acre Neverland ranch by featuring it on the Bravo TV show “Million Dollar Listing: Hollywood” (but he’s asking circa $50 million) . . . Barbara Walters is said to be under pressure to boot Rosie O’Donnell off “The View” (ABC/CTV) in the wake of her recent public face-off with Donald Trump . . . Golf great Tiger Woods & wife Elin Nordegren are expecting their 1st child THIS SUMMER . . . Word has it the 3-plus-year relationship between 25-year-old Justin Timberlake & 34-year-old actress Cameron Diaz may be kaput, a friend snitching that Justin has confirmed ‘they’re done’ . . . “TIME” magazine reports that OJ Simpson will have the right to resell publication & TV rights to his book “If I Did It” before the end of THIS YEAR, and may do so through a European publisher . . . Meantime, reports say OJ has become deeply depressed and is now addicted to the dangerous painkiller OxyContin . . . And the 5 lead characters on “Desperate Housewives” (ABC/CTV), played by Teri Hatcher, Felicity Huffman, Eva Longoria, Marcia Cross & Nicollette Sheridan, are being turned into 16-inch fashion dolls by toymaker Madame Alexander (the accessory possibilities are endless!).

• Akon – TONIGHT he’s on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel).
• Ashanti – Her rep is denying reports that she’s engaged to longtime boyfriend Nelly.
• Emerson Drive – Inspired by the lyrics of their single “Moments” and the storyline of its video, they’re partnering with Second Harvest to collect donations for the hungry at their concert venues. They’ll also appear in PSAs for the organization.
• George Michael – Word is he got $2.9 million to perform for 1 hour at a private New Year’s bash at an unnamed Russian billionaire’s estate near Moscow. Maybe he can use it for legal fees when he goes to court on drug charges a week from TODAY?
• Good Charlotte – Benji Madden & his Aussie actress-girlfriend Sophie Monk (“Click”) have become engaged. Meantime, Good Charlotte’s 4th studio album, titled “Good Morning Revival”, is ready to drop MARCH 20th.
• Lindsey Buckingham – TONIGHT the former Fleetwood Mac member does “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• Prince – He’s in the development stages of creating his own music-centered periodical, to be called “3121 Magazine”.
• Switchfoot – TONIGHT they perform on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Tom Petty – He’s reversed his decision to quit touring after 2006 proved to be one of his most rewarding years on the road. He now says there are no plans whatsoever to break up his backup band The Heartbreakers.
• Xzibit – TONIGHT he’s on “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).

A Website that tracks errors on the bigscreen has named its top movie continuity goofs of 2006. Here are the ones topping its poll as most glaring …
5. “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” – When the huge water wheel rolls to the beach, it falls on its side. In the next shot, it has inexplicably flipped over. And in the ensuing shot, it’s the other way round again.
4. “Tristan & Isolde” – The poem ‘Isolde’ recites, John Donne’s “The Good-Morrow”, is a 17th-century work, which is centuries later than the movie’s time period.
3. “X-Men 3” – When ‘Magneto’ lands the Golden Gate Bridge on the island, it’s in daylight. But when The Brotherhood start to walk across, it’s suddenly nighttime.
2. “Grandma’s Boy” – In a scene where ‘Dante’ is lighting up weed, he has both hands on the bong. A split-second later, he’s sitting back on the couch nowhere near it.
1. “Casino Royale” – In a scene near the end where ‘Bond’ and ‘Vesper’ are lying on the beach, Daniel Craig has sand all over on his back. But when they start to kiss in a distant shot, it has magically disappeared.

According to temp agency Office Angels, the terms ‘thinking outside the box’ and ‘park that thought’ will become passé when it comes to office lingo THIS YEAR. The new hotness? ‘Thought grenade’, meaning an explosively good idea (“Boss I’ve just has a real thought grenade – what about 3-day weekend EVERY weekend?”). And ‘let’s sunset that’, an expression for what should happen to bad ideas so they never surface again (“Sunset that 3-day weekend brainwave, Atkinson, or I’ll be sunsetting your job.”)
– “GQ”

Japan is suffering from a lack of fake Western clergy for the fake Christian weddings which are currently all the rage. While Japanese Christians only make up about 1% of the population, as many as 90% of the weddings are now performed in the traditional Christian style. And since there is almost no Christian clergy, opportunistic foreigners are filling the void and making good coin as fake priests/ministers for the ceremonies. For ex-pats wishing to stay in Japan long-term, it apparently pays far better than teaching English in a language school.
– BBC News

Highlights of a newly-released Florida State University study on employee/boss relationships …
• 39% of respondents say their supervisors fail to keep promises.
• 37% say their bosses fail to give credit when it’s due.
• 31% say they’ve gotten the ‘silent treatment’ from a supervisor in the past year.
The study also finds that workers who are unhappy with their bosses are far less likely to take on additional tasks. And having an abusive boss is the reason behind more people changing jobs than unhappiness with pay. Seems the old adage may be true – employees don’t quit their job, they quit their boss.

• In Spain, a 67-year-old woman has given birth to twins by Cesarean section. The twins were delivered at the Barcelona Hospital de Sant Pau and are doing well. (For show and tell in kindergarten, they can take their mom … who’ll be 73!)
• In India, a man in Meghalaya has shown up alive at his own funeral after his brother and nephew mistakenly identified a corpse in a hospital morgue as his. (You can bet they’re already working on stealing this idea for a script on “CSI”.)
• In Norway, a Lithuanian being held in jail on suspicion of theft has slipped out of custody – literally – by stripping naked, smearing himself with vegetable oil and sliding through the prison bars. (Wow, a new use for lubricant in prison!)
• In Chicago IL, a woman’s ignorance has left her hospitalized. She missed so many questions during a game of “Trivial Pursuit” in which participants had to down a drink for every wrong answer, she wound up with alcohol poisoning. (Now there’s a unique radio contest idea!)

A BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … generosity appears to be a built-in human trait. In experiments at the National Institute of Neurological Disorders & Stroke, it was found that donating to charities triggers the release of dopamine in the brain, bringing even more of a feeling of pleasure and reward than receiving money. (So [co-host], about that 20 I was asking to borrow …)
• Scientists say … the more time you spend surfing the web the shorter your attention span becomes. They claim that the attention span of heavy Internet users can drop to about 9 seconds … not much more than that of a goldfish. (“Oh look, a castle! … “Oh look, a castle! … “Oh look, a castle! …)
• Scientists say … that tigers have the ability to roar in such a way as to create a low-pitched ‘infrasound’ that can momentarily paralyze other animals or humans, according to research conducted at the Fauna Communication Research Institute in North Carolina. (Moms have the same ability.)

Tips from the American Psychiatric Association on how to maintain New Year’s resolutions …
• Keep It Simple – Focus on 1 or 2 resolutions at most.
• Try Again – Everyone has made and broken past resolutions. That doesn’t necessarily mean you won’t succeed this time.
• Give Yourself Time – Plan what you’d like to accomplish over a 3-to-6-month period.
• Think Small – Try to achieve small goals over time, giving you a sense of accomplishment and motivation to keep going.
– “New Era”

• Courtesy of those ever-clever techno-wizards in Japan comes the ‘Humping Dog USB Key’. Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like – a USB key in the shape of a plastic toy dog that ‘humps’ your computer when you plug it in. And it only costs about $9!
• You’ll soon be able to listen to novels and other publications using your cellphone, thanks to the invention of a tiny memory card. The technology, which can store up to 6 CDs of audio books, will be released by phone manufacturer Nokia later THIS YEAR.
• Hewlett-Packard’s new Photosmart R967 camera includes a ‘Slimming’ option on its ‘Artistic Effects’ menu. Just snap yourself, click the option and – voila! – your body takes on the appearance of someone who actually exercises and watches what they eat.
• Toyota Motor Corp is developing a DUI prevention system that uses sweat sensors in the steering wheel. If high levels of alcohol are detected in the driver’s bloodstream, the vehicle simply will not start. The system also kicks in if the sensors detect abnormal steering, or if a special camera shows that the driver’s pupils are not in focus. It’s hoped the system will be introduced into vehicles by the end of 2009. (When drunks will begin steering with their knees.)

Interesting findings of a new poll of men by the manufacturer of skin treatments and beauty products …
• 33% of men feel insecure about their beer belly.
• 32% of men never get naked in front of their partner at home because they are embarrassed about their appearance.
• 18% of men are embarrassed about thinning hair.
• 10% of men feel paranoid about lines and wrinkles.
– “GQ”

Chicago’s ESPN Zone sports bar has organized the ‘Ultimate Couch Potato Contest’. The winner receives a $5,000 package that includes a 42-inch HD TV and a trophy. Contestants are allowed a 5-minute break every hour and a 15-minute break every 8 hours but are otherwise required to constantly be looking at the screen. If any of the 4 contestants lasts until 8 am CST THIS MORNING, they’ll break the world record of 69 hours and 48 minutes of consecutive TV viewing set by Suresh Joachim of Toronto in 2005.

Chin up, parents of teens! According to experts, most puberty-driven ‘snit fits’ last an average of 15 minutes.


1957 [50] Patty Loveless (Patricia Lee Ramey), Pikeville KY, country singer (“Chains”, “Here I Am”)

1958 [49] Matt Frewer, Washington DC [raised Victoria BC & Ottawa ON], TV actor (“Intelligence”)/movie actor (“Dawn of the Dead”)

1960 [47] Michael Stipe, Decatur GA, rock singer/songwriter (REM-“Everybody Hurts”, “Losing My Religion”)

1962 [45] Dave Foley, Toronto ON, movie actor (“Cars”, “South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut”)/TV actor (“Newsradio” 1995-99, “Kids in the Hall” 1989-94)

1966 [41] Deana Carter, Nashville TN, country singer (“Did I Shave My Legs For This?”, “Strawberry Wine”)  FACTOID: She’s named after late singer/movie actor Dean Martin.

• “Elizabeth Ann Seton Feast Day” [1174-1821], celebrating the first American-born saint. The legacy she left now includes 6 religious communities with more than 5,000 members, hundreds of schools, social service centers, and hospitals throughout America and around-the-world.
• “Trivia Day”, in celebration of those with ‘doctorates in uselessology’. For a switch, try playing ‘Stump the Chump’, where listeners call in questions for YOU to answer.

1999 [08] Former professional wrestler Jesse Ventura takes the oath of office as Minnesota’s 37th governor

1991 [16] 1st recording artist to release 7 singles from 1 album (Janet Jackson-“Rhythm Nation 1814”)

1885 [122] 1st ‘Appendectomy’ is performed (Dr William Grant on a 22-year-old woman in Davenport IA)

1910 [97] The ‘Blender’ is invented (next day, the pina colada is invented!)

1986 [21] 1st NHLer with 100 points in 7 consecutive seasons (Wayne Gretzky-Edmonton Oilers)

1966 [41] 17-year-old June Clark of Miami FL begins 155-day sneezing fit (“Alright already, until further notice … bless you!”)

[Fri] Show & Tell Day at Work
[Sat] National Smith Day
[Sun] Orthodox Christmas
[Sun] Organize Your Home Day
[Mon] Thank God It’s Monday Day
[Mon] BCS National Title Game (Phoenix AZ)
[Mon] Elvis Presley’s Birthday
[Mon] Clean-Off-Your-Desk Day
This Week Is … Celebration of Life Week
This Month Is … Financial Wellness Month


• What sport did the ‘Toronto Huskies’ play beginning in 1946? (Basketball, in what became the NBA)
• What was the most valuable Canadian mineral resource in the 1990s? (Oil)
• What Japanese car company opened a Canadian plant in 1986? (Honda, in Alliston ON)
• What Canadian was knighted in 1934 for the discovery of insulin? (Charles Banting)
• Which was the most populous of the 4 Western provinces in 1901? (Manitoba)
– “The All Canadian Trivia Board Game”

• Who coached the winners of “Super Bowl I”? (The coach of the Green Bay Packers was the legendary Vince Lombardi.)
• Whose face is on an American dime? (Roosevelt)
• Who are the only 2 angels named in the Bible? (‘Gabriel’ and ‘Michael’)
• How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel? (5)
• In what country is the prime meridian located? (England)
– Trivia World

What’s your favorite household gadget? (In a new poll, the ‘microwave oven’ comes out on top, followed by the ‘telephone’ and ‘TV’.)

Today’s Question: It’s estimated that each of us has an average of 10-and-a-half of THESE.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Ex-lovers.

It’s not how old you are but how you are old.

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